Look I gave you two today. This one I did for the Phinsider
You know what, lets face it. The only draft any of us really care about is MGD. We can sit here until we’re blue in the face talking about who is going to fall to us in round 15, are we going to trade down, yadda yadda yadda. Well how about lets have no more draft. Forget it. Eliminate it. In fact, I propose Jeff Ireland in his first season of flying solo as GM is tell Roger Goddell that the Dolphins should withdraw their draft picks and hold tryouts in Davie for anyone who wants to join the team.
Now hear me out, I know you all think I’m just straight up whack but think about the positives to come out of this. I will list them. In fact I will list seven because I always come up with seven thoughts on all my writings for the most part.
Uno-I don’t know about you, but every time I see Mel Kiper Jr. go off about someone in the draft, I wonder if I’m in a time machine back to the 80’s or if I have been teleported to an old race track and Kiper is the guy taking my bet. Seriously, this guy is a total throwback and his ego is obviously huge if he feels he is the authority on the draft. The guy who is the authority of the draft is Roger Goddell because he’s the one on the podium, not the guy on the balcony shooting at Axel Foley in Beverly Hills Cop. Watch the movie again and look. You’ll see Mel up there.
Due-Do we really want college athletes who have hookers for mothers and extortionists for fathers? I mean these kids coming in are obvious meal tickets for their parents and their parents look at this event like it’s the blue light special of their pathetic little lives. When those guys take the stage at Radio City, they are asking the commissioner to rescue them. It’s like you have 32 Bobby Bouchers up there.
Tre-I don’t know about you, but I feel that there are too many Jets fans at these events. And quite frankly if there is one thing worse that a Jets player, it’s a Jets fan. Especially when they howl like wolves because someone on their crappy franchise makes the wrong pick. I mean I love spending a Sunday afternoon looking at some idiot in a Namath jersey yelling at a stage, I don’t know about you.
Quattro-There is a very good chance that these kids came to the draft in Hummers, Lamborghinis, Escalades, and other luxury cars. Quite frankly, they piss me off driving their kick the environment’s balls cars to this “super” event. Why don’t you ride a bicycle? From what I hear on this site, Chad Henne makes for an excellent bicycle, and good for him since he makes for a shitty QB.
Cinque-I still believe the Dolphins have no business being in any draft because how anyone can let a dumb witted coach not only draft an unproven wide receiver as their first rounder, but their family on top of it? I mean we all talk about Parcells and White, but this was just ridiculous.
Sei-There is a work stoppage in the NFL right now. Why aren’t we worried about that? If you are going to have a draft, it will require employees to help run it, but doesn’t that go against the lockout? I think the NFL is contradicting themselves and someone needs to write a letter to Oprah about that to see if she can help.
Sette-And most importantly, I think with no draft, there might not be consistent fan shots being disguised as fan posts about why we shouldn’t draft Cam Newton or Blaine Gabbert or any of these other poor excuses for human beings who care only about becoming superstars instead of finishing their education. People go to college to learn something so they can make a career for themselves. Not being some football player.
Pinsiero finale: If anyone reads this and gets mad or takes it seriously, you need to take some prozac. I hope the Dolphins draft a decent QB. I want to see Rickie or Ronnie come back or both. I want the Dolphins to win the superbowl and hope that Cameron Wake finds a way to take one QB out of the game this year as soon as these people with much more money than us find a way how to get a profitable business like the NFL back on track.
Thanks for reading. Have a great day.
Oh and follow me on twitter @michaelcaserno.
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