Twuck the Fins!!!!

No not the DOlphins!!!!

Hello boys and girls. I’m back.

First off I would just like to say it’s nice to be a fan who isn’t murdered anymore, and I see no usefulness in Al Yellow over Cheat. Yet, the conversations in that were fricking hilarious.

So anyway, having a second child has kept me from doing lots of things. One; living a normal life, which will most likely never happen ever again. Two; keeping up with my blog on the hiimmichael.com site, and keeping up with some of my favorite people here in SSS. Three; the mass quantities if marijuana I have ingested since my second daughter was born to stay sane. Just kidding on the third one gang.

This has been a season for the ages. And I don’t know what part. The landslide to the pits. Riding Ozzie’s comet to first place. So many things to take in, however I am still waiting for that punch in the gut to Minnie and Paul and the group of flaming bitches that represent them (yeah Thome, I’m talking about you too Mr. Gentleman Masher.)

I am sick and tired of the Twins. They’re the little cut in the mouth that would go away if you would stop scratching it. This week, there’s a chance to step on the throat of the Tigers and put them out of their misery. So after that little task gets completed at Comerica, we need to really figure out a way to get rid of the M & Ms, and the other group of pansies for good so we can win this thing.

Yeah Twinkies, you and your little gay ass Target Field pisses me off. I wanted to be the one that push the button to detonate your God damn terror done, and now we have your two little queer bait representative looking over everyone who plays in your “park” smiling at them. Well smile at this. Fastballs coming from a real bullpen striking out your man crush Joe Mauer. O-Dog getting picked off and of course finding a way to contain the infamous Punto from doing more damage to himself than others.

You see guys; I believe we can win it all again like we did in 05. But we must find a way to get this monkey off our backs! These diseased little monkeys are worse than the zombies in 28 Days Later. They keep coming back. With the injuries and everything, they still find ways to win. It’s really annoying. God damn Santa Claus looking mofo Gardenhire keeps us on our toes. Sure the Yankees will give us issues, but we can do it.

I really don’t want to hate on Teabag. I mean who tweets in the perspective of their dog. It’s kind of funny in a drug induced sort of way. But seriously dude, stay away from third base. An old man can play it better than you, so you have no place being there. And Omar isn’t too old, but he sure has helped things out. Spectacular defense and brings the best out of savior and Che. I am waiting for the scene in the Club where Kenny actually talks about extending this guy’s contract. What’s the basis behind it? Speaking about behind, can we leave Mark Kotsay behind in Detroit? Seriously, like have the bus leave him behind and he can find Eminem and they can do a duet together or something. I’m sure his hip hop skills resemble his baseball skills. I used to think Kotsay played somewhat decent. Grinderish. Now I think he’s just a tool.

Did we ever think we would see the day when we wanted Lillibridge to stay on the team? I know right.

And now, Edwin Jackson. Look, I know Dan Hudson pitched a great game in Zona last night, and everyone’s freaked out about the $8 million owed to a pitcher who may be a slight upgrade now has been stuck with us, due to a certain GM being a little loopy and asked for a skyscraper for the price of a two flat. I truly believe Cooper can fix him and Mr. Jackson will get us to where we need to go this year. Hudson’s not ready for that. Personally, I think this Lucas Harrell kid did well his first time out. I thought that story kicked ass. However, I don’t know if the kid can do it again. I just hope Peavy makes it back next season, or Kenny really took a dive.

Well anyway, thanks for listening to my rambling. I will try to keep up with this on a more regular basis. Thanks and talk to you later.

It's Here!!!

Can you smell it? Finally, opening day has arrived. Let’s see what this White Sox team can do. I am so excited about this season, and of course I’m looking forward to seeing you guys at the meet up later this season but for now, lets throw those questions out there for y’all to ponder.

Will this DH by committee thing work out? I don’t know about you, but I’m sitting here nervous as hell. A guy we loved has now joined the team we hate, and he could have helped. Yet, we’re going ahead with the KotsayJonesQuentinRiosVizquel project. I can’t think of nothing better to make us want to go get thunder blunts to calm down due to the anxiety we will experience while one of these guys come to the plate.

Sure the rotation kicks ass, but can they stay healthy and consistent. Will Mark Buehrle refrain from throwing any perfect games or no hitters? After all, he hit the tank afterwards. Will Jake Peavy be able to jump on top of the dog pile, or will he get himself injured again only to sit on top of a different pile we won’t talk about or want to smell? Will the youngins Danks and Floyd be able to hit the ground running, and can Floyd do it without our help? And then there’s sweaty Freddie. Can he stop himself from getting shelled like in Spring Training?

Will Alex Rios play like a $13 million player, or will he be a ten cent twit?

Will Q be the superhero we all dream of, or will he be on the cutting room floor of DC Comics?

Can Matt Thornton and JJ Putz put the bromance on hold and anchor this bullpen?

Will Bobby Jenks be able to avoid little black stones in places we don’t want to think about or talk about?

Will Mark Teahen play as well as his dog tweets?

Will the savior beat the sophomore slump, or continue to light the field with his presence and of course that old hit from the 80’s by the Outfield?

Can Che hold the ball in his mitt?

How many guys will AJ throw out at second, and then out of the clubhouse. Wait, that’s Ozzie’s job. I’m telling you, one day AJ will be in charge of this team.

And finally, will Ozzie keep his job?

Yeah that’s right. If our beloved White Sox happen to be under 500 by All Star Break, he gone. If the Sox miss the playoffs, he gone! I hate to see it happen because I love him, but this whole season rests on him. He made the decisions; he pushed Kenny for the team he wanted. The White Sox need to play to save his ass. I am sure Kenny doesn’t want to get rid of him, despite what the media says. However, Kenny has people to answer to, and has a team to build. He knows what he wants, but he’s stepping back for some reason.

And golly gee people, can you wait for that reality show to hit MLB network?

Yes folks, it’s finally here. White Sox baseball, for realz. I am excited and hope you are too. Let’s enjoy it, no matter the outcome.

Oh yeah, and go Blackhawks too!!!!!

I WILL BE RETURNING SOON

Certain activities in life have stopped me from bringing you the creative crap you have come to expect from me.

I will talk to you all on Monday.

Some Superbowl Points

Let’s nail down 7 things in football today, shall we?

1-Joey Porter obviously doesn’t want to be on the Dolphins anymore. Coach Tony Sparano says he keeps all player issues in house, but unfortunately Peezy thought it would be so cool to go on the Jim Rome show and offer these nuggets:


"I won't accept it no more, you know what I mean? I accepted it last year because I'm a team guy. I just want to play, have fun and win football games."
``When you're winning, all of this stuff is (swept) away. But after seeing how last year went, asking me to come back and play that role again, I can honestly say I won't come back to do that. I can't be happy about coming back playing that role.''
(when asked about being traded)
"I mean, it would just kind of be the smart thing to do. `Why keep a guy there that you want to make a role player? You're paying me enough money as a starter. So why pay me all that money and make me a role player"
"If you make me a role player, it's saying you really don't want me, right? I mean, I just gave you 17.5 sacks last year."

Role player? Who the hell asked you to be a role player? People just wanted you to show up and it took you like 11 weeks to do that against Carolina. You didn’t get those 17.5 sacks two years ago, not last year. You only got 41 tackles and 9 sacks, so how many this year? I think the scoreboard at Foxboro says it all. If you want to leave dude, go! Don’t let the door hit you where the good lord split you pal!

2-Mike Martz, who many thought would be the Bears offensive coordinator, now, gets that title. After all the posturing, rejections, and silly ass crap that took place over the last month, Mike Martz will be the OC. He wanted the job, but put on the side for months, Mike Martz will be the OC. He met Jake Cutler for dinner in Tennessee, and now, Mike Martz will be the OC. Does he make the Bears better? I’m not sure, but what I do know; Mike Martz will be the OC of the Chicago Bears. I have a feeling this dialogue duplicates Lovie Smith when Jerry Angelo brought up names of candidates for him.

3-Look, I’m tired of listening to everyone bash the Pro Bowl. It is what it is. A game designed to celebrate the achievements of many of the superstar players in the NFL. The ratings were decent. There were some bright moments in the game. Matt Schaub played well and justly deserved the MVP. It isn’t a game that means anything, much like all the All Star games in sports, with the exception of MLB because of the silly home field advantage stipulation. If you people all talk about making it mean something, perhaps you can use the same rules of play (no sacks, no blitzing, etc) and play the game in the middle of the year like every other sport does. That way, its light contact, its fun, no one gets hurt; it’s all fun and games. Just my opinion.

4-This no cap situation for next season can get hairy, but I just found out today that the eight teams who were in the playoffs have special provisions against signing new free agents, which means Jerry Jones, no free agents for you. However, Dan Snyder still will be in the mix for that. This will be a huge opportunity for your Bears and my Dolphins to get better. I find myself nervous about this year coming up, but it could be like cowboys and indians. Lots of dealing, lots of money. I just hope it doesn’t lead to a lockout in 2010.

5-A few nuggets on the Superbowl. First, I don’t see the Saints winning despite star defensive end Dwight Freeney possibly not playing. Peyton Manning has the experience and the skills to win any game he wants. The two he loss, he didn’t make that decision to lose. I believe the Colts could have run the table. This game, if the Colts win, will trigger the question “is Manning the greatest QB ever?” Does 2 Super bowl wins give you that along with all the records he’s broken? I will leave the debate to you.

6-And on the other side, the New Orleans Saints would love to upset the Colts, as I would like to watch them do it as well. Not that I have any hatred for the Colts, but I just appreciate what the Saints have done this year. I like Sean Payton, and Drew Brees. Payton is a local boy from Naperville as well. However I would like to point out that a Superbowl win for the city of New Orleans, will be fun, but not beneficial. You will not see another 100 house pop up due to a Superbowl win.

7-And finally, once again, I picked the Colts, but I’m cheering for the Saints.

Enjoy the Superbowl.

They're Just Kids, Man!

This is the story of a couple of young men. Some who were a couple of good time Charlies in Vancouver, and one who’s devoted to his faith. For some reason, the media wants to pile on both of them. For the life of me, I don’t get it.

Let’s start with the boys in the limo. The Chicago Blackhawks Kris Versteeg, Patrick Kane, and John Madden had a good time with a couple of young ladies in the back of a limo in the wild streets of Vancouver, BC, Canada. They had crazy sunglasses, shirts off, and drinking. We don’t know if anything happened or the boys just screwed around being nutty. Being in Canada does make you nutty. Sometimes in a good way. The only problem with what happened; one of the girls thought it would be fun to take pictures, and they ended up on the internet.

Lets be frank here, the Blackhawks rule hockey right now. The franchise has gone through one of the biggest turnarounds in sports history. You have one of the best offenses in the game. They’re for lack of a better word, rock stars. People want to hang with them, and I’m sure some young ladies in the old BC would love to hang with the best thing going in hockey right now. I don’t know why Kaner sits there in his underwear. I don’t understand what’s up with those glasses Versteeg has on. What I do know, with the exception of Madden, they are young boys.

Boys will be boys, and everyone wants to make a big deal of this, why? Perhaps here in Chicago, no one knows who the Bears new coordinators are, and that story gets older than Chris Chelios everyday. I am sure worse shit happens in other places. At least we didn’t see the boys make it rain and punch strippers in the face. They’re not waving handguns in the locker room. The youngsters aren’t shooting needles in their buttocks in toilet stalls. They’re just some young punks having fun. Sure John Madden has a wife at home, and he’s flexing for the camera. Perhaps he’s drunk. We all have done dumb things when that happens. You know, get drunk. I once woke up with a rhino when I got drunk. Just kidding.

Then there’s the other end of the spectrum. Tim Tebow and his good family values. It seems many want to attack the young man for his belief in God, and family. He has always been a target of criticism, and it sure doesn’t make a hell of a lot of sense to me. However, he’s taking a beating now for being the spokesperson for Focus on the Family, a Christian based organization that does work for goodness. Yeah they suck. Anyway, Tebow will be speaking on a pro life commercial on Superbowl Sunday and many people say that there’s no place for this type of advertisement on “the new holiday” of America. Well, for one it’s Sunday, the holy day of rest, so it has all the right to be there. Just kidding.

In all seriousness, throughout all the ads for Go Daddy where you can supposedly see Danica Patrick naked or whatever, all the ridiculous beer ads, why not have a message of Goodness? Sure, some people may be pro choice, well get your organization to do a pro choice ad on Superbowl Sunday. Point being, Tim Tebow is a young man who comes from a family that does amazing things, all being good and just. The boy shouldn’t be attacked for his beliefs. People accuse of trying to push an agenda down everyone’s throat, but what better day to express your message, than the one day us fat, lazy, Americans watch more TV than any other day.

The boys in the limo from the Blackhawks, and Tim Tebow are not what’s wrong with society. What’s wrong with society is that is passes judgment on a young man trying to do good, and a couple of kids just screwing around behind closed doors. It’s a shame that camera phones are everywhere nowadays. Perhaps society should take a picture of itself, and hang it on the wall, and walk away, like when stupid things like this come up.

HDH: OZZIE and NADY want to coach the BEARS and get FAVRE as QB so the BLACKHAWKS can go to THE HALL with TEBOW

So call me Mr. cranky pants because I’m in a shitty mood people.

1-First off congrats Ozzie Guillen. You single-handedly sent one of the best DHs in White Sox history to the enemy. Jim Thome now plays for the dreaded Minnesota Twins and will get paid the very expensive salary for one year of $1.5 million. I’m sure he would have taken less to play here, but no. Ozzie wants DH by committee. Jim Thome wouldn’t have gotten enough at bats. Come on Ozzie, that’s horseshit. Just admit that Thome doesn’t fit into your master plan. He would rather have two guys take on the DH role that have .650 OPS between them, one hasn’t bat over .250 in three years, and the other has had back surgery twice. Yes that would be Andruw Jones and Mark Kotsay. I guess he’s betting that Quentin, Rios, and Ramirez all return to top form. As far as Jim Thome goes, the man who was my friend is now my enemy. Prepare to be struck out by the White Sox pitching staff, who will have to be the ticket to October baseball this season. Please Kenny, tell me you’re not done yet.

2-To the Cubs, yes you signed Xavier Nady. Congrats to you as well. You have gone from a sucky team, to a less sucky team. I am so proud of you. Now, all you need is a pharmacist in the dugout to give Carlos Zambrano some Zoloft when he blows up again, a waterboy when the team gets mad at the Gatorade machi…scratch that. We wouldn’t want the poor lad to get hurt.

3-The Chicago Bears can’t find any coordinators. Everyone they interview, or attempt to interview decides to stay with their current team, or go join the Raiders. It’s a sad state of affairs when someone would rather work for the old, frail, and crazy Al Davis, rather than your “storied franchise” that has people lining up around the block to work for, at least Lovie Smith made that comment earlier in the month. “How are we going to convince someone to come here to coach the Chicago Bears, our offensive positions, defensive positions? Believe me, people will want to come here.” Oh yeah Lovie. They’re all sitting in their case at Hallas Hall waiting for Jerry to show up to get the job that they will lose in one year.

4-Brett Favre, you got your ass whipped on Sunday. You were beat up, picked off, and made to look like a fool. Who throws a ball when they have room to run for 5 yards or so? Brett does. Why? Because he is the king of the NFL. I seriously hope retire this time. If you’re not going to retire, then please make the decision in the next few days. I don’t need my Sportscenter infiltrated by your bullshit on a yearly basis. Sure, you’re the ironman. You’re the legend. You’re the immortal number 4. Do be a bitch. Make your decision early. If you come back, great. If not, spend time with that wife of yours who would like you home to do the dishes for once in your life.

5-On Sautrday night, I felt depressed due to the Vancouver Canucks drumming of the Chicago Blackhawks 5-1. What a piss poor effort. By then I find out they’re riding around Vancouver in a limo with their shirts off and other weird shit. If this happened before the game on Friday, well that explains a lot. I am sure everyone on the team applauds the actions of these stoners. I would also like to include that it’s a good thing a limo took them around town, because we’ve seen how Patrick Kane deals with cab drivers.

6-Andre Dawson will be wearing a Montreal Expos hat when he enters the Hall of Fame. Yeah, that’s right Cub fans. The Expos were a great team for one, and two, the hall doesn’t want the Cubs or Ron Santo. Go ahead Cub Fans, bring up Fisk. He had one of the biggest moments in the playoffs as a Red Sock, hence the real he went in as a Red Sock. And ofcourse, Ron Schueler screwed him over as well. I am sure Fisk had a hand in that. Now, he’s an ambassador for the White Sox, and has no idea what that means.

7-And finally, former Florida QB Tim Tebow will be doing a spot for Focus on the Family, a religious group that opposes abortions. The spot will be a pro life stance with Tebow as the spokesperson. Apparently all these womens groups have been protesting the spot. Sure it’s OK for the racy spots to air, but when it comes to killing a life, that’s crossing the line. I think Focus on the Family has the right to express their views regarding the issue, like many womens groups who welcome the practice of killing embryos for whatever reason they may have. If Tim Tebow feels this strongly that he wants to talk about it on an ad during the Superbowl for thirty or sixty seconds, God bless him. Good thing we live in America, where free speech rules.


Honorable mention: Allen Iverson=All Star???? LMFAO!!!! I think the All Star committee needs to get some PRACTICE!

And that’s me today. Enjoy yours.

M

Win or Die!!!

It worked for P Diddy back in 2004 didn’t it?

Vote or die! Good times.

So in 2005, it was “win or die trying.”

Now it’s up to the Chicago White Sox to play to save their manager.

Ozzie Guillen said it loud and said it proud. Jim Thome, you’re not needed in the south side. And I am sure I hear the sound of some Sox fans applauding. Yeah, Jim Thome, he clogs bases, he’s too slow, and he’s getting old. Let me ask you guys something. The little DH parade that Ozzie’s leading, who on that float is younger and better than Thome? I mean “younger and better” at the same time.

We talked about this last week for a little bit. Andruw Jones has not cracked .250 in the last three years. This isn’t the 90’s where Jones was a great all around player with Atlanta. No, after he left them he joined the Dodgers where his bank account and belly blew up. Mark Kotsay had a great year with the Sox last year, however he’s had back surgery like Thome and hits for average not power, something you want out of a DH. And of course there’s the all mighty Omar Vazquez who can’t play when the team is getting blown out because it would be insulting. He’s much older than Thome. (Well maybe not much). In other words, how can you have DH by committee and send Thome away, when your committee doesn’t match up? Flexibility works, but you need better players than what Ozzie has to work with.

Although I love Thome, I am not entirely opposed to sending him away AS LONG AS THERE’S ANOTHER OPTION. So far, I don’t see one. The problem with Ozzie’s plan is that he is trying to fix a house with toy tools rather than craftsman. And furthermore, isn’t Kenny the one who’s supposed to get the food, while Ozzie cooks the dinner? Kenny Williams wanted Thome back here, so shouldn’t he be back here? Since when does the manager tell the GM what he wants to do? Maybe Kenny wants Ozzie to learn a lesson about roles. Maybe Kenny might be setting up Ozzie to take a fall, because he rocks the boat. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Let the conspiracy theory talk begin. Point being, Kenny picks the players and needs to tell Ozzie to sit down and let him do his job.

Ozzie made his decision, and now he must live with it. He let Jim Thome go, and now possibly to a divisional rival. It would make me sick to see the gentleman masher hitting balls over the wall at the Cell in a Twins or Tigers uniform. I am sure it would make you sick as well. Perhaps using him a small role here on the south side would have one, kept him off rivals teams, two, given us better offensive production, and three, kept a fan and player favorite around to keep spirits high.

So if the White Sox truly love the wizard of Oz, they need to win this year, otherwise I believe he’s a goner. This is his team. The team he wanted. The team he designed. They must perform. If this team’s record is under 500 by all star break, I think Ozzie will be done. Kenny Williams didn’t spend all this money to get guys like Jake Peavy and Alex Rios so Ozzie could fuck things up in his infinite wisdom. If Rios works out, and Q returns to form, this conversation means nothing. Sure, Ozzie’s philosophy on the DH is flawed, but if the players step up, who gives a shit about rotating DH or not?

We as Sox fans are very afraid. I think that’s why we have all this hate mongering towards Ozzie and everything. We look at his plan and see little or no sense in it. The players that you are picking over Thome are worse than Thome. Collectively or by themselves. We are going into this year gambling. Gambling that the starting pitching is going to carry the team into October. Gambling that the defense will improve. Gambling that Carlos Quentin, Alexei Ramirez, and Alex Rios will display the potential to become the players they were a couple years ago. Yes sir that Ozzie Guillen sits at the table with Doyle Brunson pushing his chips all in holding a flush, ace high.

Let’s just hope that Doyle doesn’t come up with the boat, or Ozzie will be on leaving the south side.

The Superstar and the Super Team

And then there were two. The two teams that it should be.

Yes, the Jets looked great in the first half didn’t they? However, they ran out of gas. Peyton Manning showed the Jets what it means to play the Colts with starters in the game. Pierre Garcon shined brightly, and the Colts defense made big plays. The Sanchise and that big dummy Rex Ryan got their traps shut for the rest of the year.

Brett Favre in all his infinite glory had a hell of a year. He led his team to the NFC Championship, but after a big hit, threw two picks. One at the end of the game with :19 left. And then there were the 5 fumbles before that as well. This game wasn’t what I imagined it to be, but nevertheless, it sure was fun. Watching the Saints win it made me smile. That city has been through hell, and they have something special to celebrate.

This story has the ending it should. The two teams that almost went perfect this year. The number one seeds. The clash of the leaders. This Superbowl coming up gives us the idea that in the NFL, the little engines that could have run out gas. It takes a special kind of D to stop the high flying passing game. This league has become a passers paradise, and although running the ball works, the age of the 2 minute drill lives on.

So for the postseason, I am 4-6 for picks. Both of mine came in this week, but I will be under 500. I guess I can pick the Pro Bowl, but why waste time?

One thing I know about the Pro Bowl, the AFC in my opinion is superior to the NFC. However, many thought this time since it’s a week before, things would changes with the “superstar game” of the NFL. Nope, people still pulling out. It doesn’t matter where you put it. Hawaii, Miami, Alaska; many players don’t take it seriously obviously. Perhaps it’s a fun time, but you can go to Chuck E Cheese’s and have a fun time as well. My pick will be AFC 24 NFC 14.

As far as the Superbowl goes, I honestly am stuck. Both teams have an unbelievable quarterback. The defense on both teams has been strong. You have so many people to throw to on each side. However, as much as I want the Saints to win, the Colts have been here before. Peyton Manning can execute the 2 minute drill better than anyone. I do like the Colts offensive line better than the Saints, and no, Peyton isn’t going to throw the game because dad played QB for New Orleans. It will be a great game, and it’s very hard for me to pick a winner. Indianapolis 31 New Orleans 27, but I just want to be on record that I am cheering on New Orleans to win this one.

It has been an entertaining season, although I wish the Dolphins could have done better than they did. However, with a new defensive coordinator, some draft picks, and the mind of Bill Parcels, we should improve dramatically.

In the meantime, let’s enjoy what promises to be a wonderful Superbowl.

Time for the Big Guy to Come Back Home

As we get ready to begin the baseball season (and I am very excited about that), the White Sox look like a bad ass team. The starting pitching on paper looks strong, the infield should be better than last year, Quentin hopefully will be healthy and return to 2008 form, and I like the Jenks, Thornton, Putz combo in the pen. However, I like many Sox fans, have one issue. It’s a small one, but could lead to a big problem.

This whole rotating DH thing, yeah, I’m really not liking it. Sure if you had some reliable help, maybe. I don’t know if Mark Kotsay can be the everyday first baseman, with Paulie stepping back to take DH duties. Andruw Jones? Sure strong start to last year, but ended with .214, and hasn’t hit past the .250 mark in the past three seasons. You can’t trust a guy like that to be your DH. Back to Kotsay, sure he hit .278 last year, and seems like a good contact hitter. However, DH=power, not average. You want your DH guy to have pop, and I don’t mean Pepsi or Coke either. Quentin DHing? Yeah, but he has shown improvement in the outfield and I for one thinks he should stay out there. Otherwise, Jones becomes an everyday player. Don’t know about that shit.

So, there’s JD and Jim Thome. The two guys we let walk away. Well, Thome didn’t walk, Kenny sent him to Hollywood. Now, both guys seem to be having trouble finding a new home. Rumors have Dye going to the Padres or the Cubs (eek); and a few teams have shown interest in big Jim, but reports say the Rays are the only team that we know about.

Jermaine Dye still thinks he can be an everyday outfielder/possibly first baseman. The Sox aren’t buying. However, Jim Thome. Hmmm. I think Thome may be an option. Will he be aiming for number 600? Of course. I would love to see that in a Sox uniform. That’s just the Sox fan in me talking. However, who do we have on this team that can hit for power? Paulie? Well last year he got started right away, unlike the last few years before that when we’re all waiting around until July for him to start knocking balls out of the park. AJ? Well, he’s OK. However, I don’t think of AJ as “the power guy.” I think he brings a lot to the table with his batting. However if you want someone who will give you 30 to 40 home runs and lots of RBIs, Jimmy is your guy.

I have heard many people say that Jim Thome is the “most selfish player on Earth” because he wants to reach 600 home runs. Who the hell wouldn’t? It’s a hell of an accomplishment and a short list? However, he wants to do it with the Sox. People talk about speed, speed, speed. Thome isn’t the fastest guy on the planet, but I do see him hustle and occasionally take an extra base on a base hit. However, the important thing here is when guys like Pierre, Ramirez, and Beckham get on base; Jimmy will be there to drive them in. He’s a dependable hitter and I can remember on many occasions how his long ball or clutch hitting has bailed out the Sox in the 8th or 9th inning when they were behind 2-3 runs.

Look, he’s a great guy for the organization. His teammates love him, we love him, and he does strike out, but he makes up for it with some timely hitting, and those clutch home runs. If you’re like me, you will always remember his homer in the tiebreaker versus the Twins in 08 and one of the biggest moments of Sox baseball. Since not too many teams are going after the big guy, perhaps he will come to the White Sox for a low price, which takes any element of risk out of the equation.

I think we owe it to ourselves as Sox fans to get behind this move, and welcome the “gentleman masher” back to the south side with open arms.

HDH: NOLAN ditched MCDANIELS for OZZIE because TIGER had JD over to watch HOCKEY and REMEMBER things

Here we go…

1-First I would like welcome Mike Nolan to the Dolphins as the new defensive coordinator. This man brought the Broncos defense some spunk. In 2008, they were ranked 29th, and when Nolan joined the team, they shot up to 8th so I trust he knows a little something about defense. So thank you trifecta, let fun times happen in the NFL and with the Dolphins in 2010.

2-Secondly, I would like to thank Josh McDaniels for, well, just being himself I guess. I mean who wants to work with this guy. Apparently no one. Cutler left the building; some coaches are gone, and little TO looking for a new home as well. Now, Brandon Marshall may just be available at the right time for the Phins who are looking for that number one receiver. Perhaps, Josh McD shouldn’t act like number two…receiver, I guess I blew that one.

3-I heard that the Guillens are planning on doing a reality show. You don’t have to look far. Go to the dugout at the Cell. That should suffice. In other words, Ozzie don’t do it man!!!

4-Tiger Woods has proclaimed that he’s a sex addict. Many don’t buy it, however I for one do. When you go to Perkins to order up a grand slam, and they don’t serve that there, I believe you’re a sex addict. Especially when you take notes from Sideways and have the same result except I don’t think Tiger left his wallet at the girl’s house when her husband came home.

5-Rumors continue to circulate that White Sox World Series hero Jermaine Dye may be staying in Chicago, just on the wrong team. Wondering what you think about it? Me. I try not to. I don’t think I can be mad at JD. He’s trying to prove he can play OF everyday. Man needs to work. I will always be grateful for JD and all his contributions to the White Sox and wish him well, as long as he doesn’t join the fucking Cubs.

6-I love the fact that all these sports stations love to talk hockey now, and all these closet hockey fans call. I am waiting for the day when someone schools the hosts on their ridiculous commentary on hockey on air. Topics like, if the opposing team doesn’t have a lot of shots on goal; which goalie is the more dominant? When will Marian Hossa pick up the pace? The Blackhawks need to keep it up, or the Nashville Predators will catch them. How about that road trip? Come on guys, be more compeling. Props to Dan Mcneil. He makes hockey talk compelling.

7-And finally, condolences to the family of Gaines Adams, a defensive end on the Bears who died at the young age of 26 due to an enlarged heart. Sure, he wasn’t one of the Bears that you read about, but he’s young, a family has lost him, and I heard about it. Therefore, Godspeed.

That’s all for now. Talk to you all soon.

What the Hell's in a Name Anyway?

And so another name change for the home to my favorite football team, the Miami Dolphins. WTF?!?!?!?!

Last year, Jimmy Buffet and his brewing company Margaritaville (go figure) bought the naming rights to “Dolphin Stadium” as its name changed to “LandShark Stadium.” That’s his beer. Now Sun Life Financial has bought the naming rights and for the next 5 years, it will be “Sun Life Stadium.” Wow, that sounds so great. It’s a sunny life in Miami.

I don’t get it, why does the home of my beloved franchise go through so many name changes? I mean, look at this…

1987-1996 Joe Robbie Stadium

1996-2005 Pro Player Stadium

2005-2009 Dolphins Stadium

2009-2010 Landshark Stadium

2010-? Sun Life Stadium

How can us Dolphin fans (and Marlin fans since they share the place) keep track anymore? At the end of the day, if the team gets more revenue, they should be able to get a better team on the field. So get to work trifecta!!!!

So, while we’re on this pointless topic, I thought I would take a look at some of the other name changes on stadiums, nicknames associated, and other fun things related. Please add your 10 cents if you’d like.

Of course, being a Sox fan, how can I forget Comiskey Park to US Celluar Field? I found myself angry at the change at first, but then us Sox fans came up with a cute little nickname, “the Cell.”

In Minnesota, the dreaded “Metrodome” has been renamed “Mall of America Field at Hubert H Humphrey Metrodome.” ????? Feel sorry for you people in Mini. Just call it MOM I guess. No wait, MOAM. I dunno. Come up with something better if you can.

In San Francisco, the ever popular Candlestick Park, changed its name to 3 Com Park, and then Monster Park, and now San Francisco Stadium at Candlestick. Someone must have had a bad experience with a Candlestick for a few years, and then decided they liked candlesticks afterwards.

San Diego had Jack Murphy stadium, later renamed to Qualcomm stadium, and then the Padres obviously didn’t like cell phones, so they opened their brand new state of the art stadium named after a pet store. PETCO!

Some quick funnies..

Gund Arena in Cleveland to Quicken Loans Arena? Gund’s like a legend out there.

Shutting down Three Rivers Stadium in Pittsburth to open Heinz Field. Yes the ketchup.

Building Miller Park for Milwaukee County Stadium in a city famous for beer, nice touch.

Washington’s RFK Stadium became the Armed Forces Field and then morphed into Fed Ex Field. You sold out our troops for Fed Ex? Really Dan Snyder?

Back to Cleveland, the Jake (Jacons Field) to Progressive Field. Does that stupid little bitch that looks like a naughty nurse in the commercials throw out the first pitch too?

The Delta Center became the Energy Sollutions Arena. They went green since airplanes contribute to the environmental problems on the planet.

Shea Stadium becomes Citi Field, and then new Citi Field built across the street. I heard someone say it would be a cold shea in hell if someone renamed their favorite stadium. Good thing they didn’t say day.

The Boston Garden got trashed for the Fleet Center, which is now known as the TD Waterhouse Garden. Kind of like Madison Square Garden, where’s the “garden?” No one be growing veggies out there. Although, the Knicks do play like vegetables.


If you can think of anymore you find funny, add them here. Talk to you tomorrow.

The Lightning Didn't Crash the Jets

Dude, I think I’m going to be sick.

How can the Jets be going to the AFC championship?

How can a guy who hasn’t missed a FG for three years miss three in one game?

Only the Jets and their jack ass of a coach can catch that kind of lightning in a bottle. Their defense does kick ass though. They know how to run the ball and make good things happen. I won’t deny a team has talent even though that coach of theirs put their douche in bag. Shame on you San Diego. You were the favorite to win the conference and you fucked it all up. Same old Chargers. Find a way to choke. Norm Turner will probably be gone too.

To the Baltimore Ravens, thank you for making me look like an ass. Ed Reed, one of my favorite safeties in football, can’t hold the ball. The Colts tore your asses up, and I sincerely hope that the Colts will show the Jets what its like to play a team at full strength, and not half assed when the Jets beat them.

As far as “who dat nation” goes, holy shit did they come back hard. The Saints have arrived ladies and gentlemen. Kurt Warner, time to retire. Anquan Boldin, you said you might have to stay in Arizona, I don’t think your ass has a choice since you spend more time on the sidelines nursing injuries, rather than making big plays. Drew Brees and his boys returned to the scoring machine that we knew and loved before the Cowboys got to them a little more than a month ago.

And how about them Cowboys huh? The so called legend of Favre game them a lesson in “why I think I rule this league.” 4 touchdowns and watching Tony Romo getting sacked six times. Wow! So we have the battle that many of us football fans have been yearning for? The Saints vs the Vikings. Should be a great game.

I am 2-6 for the playoffs so I officially suck! Let’s see if I can slow down the suckage here.

Minnesota Vikings @ New Orleans Saints
Brett Favre is a gangster. Pure and simple. He can throw, he’s tough, he has Adrian Peterson to run if needed. Jared Allen leads an evil defense. However, they’re going to the bayou. I can’t say the home field advantage will help the Saints that much. We saw them blow their perfect season at home against Dallas. Yet, Drew Brees can hit and has as many targets as Favre has. He also has Reggie Bush to run. This will be the game of the year, and it’s hard for me to pick a winner. I think the Vikings have a small advantage on defense, but I also believe that Brees will find a way to work around that.
Final: New Orleans 41 Minnesota 38

New York Jets @ Indianapolis Colts
I am scared to death to see the Jets make the Super bowl. It could happen. The defense of this team is deadly. The run game of the Jets has been one of the best in the playoffs this year. Sanchez has been coming of age in the playoffs, but the buck stops here. Everyone thought Phillip Rivers should have won MVP, but Peyton Manning got it again this year. And in this game, he will prove why. The Jets D may be good, but it sure isn’t unstoppable. My Phins proved that with a rookie QB running an excellent 2 minute drill on Monday Night Football to win. Nobody executes that better that Manning. He has a great offensive line to block him, which will be the match up to watch (O line v D line), his receivers will keep pro bowler Darelle Reavis busy, and the Colts have the capabilities to put a lot of points on the board to make the Jets D a non factor. In order for the Colts to win, they will have to attack that defense hard in the first half. I believe that’s why SD didn’t get the win. One touchdown in the 1st half won’t do it. However, I see the Colts scoring 21 points before the end of the half, the Jets coming back in the second half, however, the Colts will come through.
Final: Indy 31 NY Jets 24

If you’re putting money on these games DO NOT listen to me. I don’t know shit. Once again, I’m 2-6 for the playoffs this year. I officially suck.

Have a wonderful week. Talk to you tomorrow.

REPORT, REPORT, REPORT!!!!

It’s not that far away. It all begins in late March. You can smell the beer in the air; see the sex in the stands, and the errors on the diamond in Chicago. Then, there’s White Sox baseball when everyone watches a baseball game, and isn’t concerned about the social club at Clark and Addison.

Yes my friends, baseball season’s coming right around the corner and will be here before you know it.

Time for us White Sox fans and Cub sheep to trade shots at each other. Then again, what’s the point? We know who rules this city. At least with the baseball fans, not the tourists.

You guys got rid of your cancer. Congrats. And then you go and sign another former Ranger to a 3 year deal. Someone who had a great year last year; but for some reason the ivy blinds the potential of players, and they become shitty. They like to hop, skip and jump before catching a ball. They forget how many outs are in the game.

However, look at the White Sox, and you will see the man who will not only help the White Sox surpass the Cubs this year, you will see a man who’s determined to bring the trophy with the flags back home to the south side, where it belongs. That man’s name: Jake Peavy.

''Nothing else matters except that ring now. I have done the other stuff. I know you need to put up the numbers. I'm financially blessed thanks to the game of baseball. To win the Cy Young was the coolest thing individually that I have done. But I'm not in the gym every morning now for the Cy Young. I want what the boys did in 2005. I want that dog pile, that memory, that ring. If you're not dreaming of that same thing, I question where you are as an athlete.''-interview with Jake Peavy in Sun Times today.

This man sounds hungry, sounds passionate. Perhaps you can sense a little “Chicago Tough” in him. After reading this interview today, I believe that Jake Peavy will pull his weight and we will be in great position come October. In the meantime, Cub fans, you guys may have to take a number, because St Louis has you beat again. After all, they’re the Cardinals, the pride of the NL Central.

There’s many reasons to be excited on the south side. I look at the pitching rotation of Peavy, Mark Buehrle, John Danks, Gavin Floyd and Freddy Garcia, I get excited. Although I am concerned about the bench, I still think if they’re on, it’s going to be a hell of a bench. I like the fact we have a lead off guy not named Scotty Pods. Thanks for 05 Scotty, but we’re just not into to you right now. We have a young superstar in Gordon Beckham. There’s much to be optimistic about for the White Sox.

However, questions still loom. One, will the addition of Mark Teahen be a benefit, and can he handle third? Two, are we going to do this rotating DH thing, or will someone else be here to take over? Three, will Alex Rios live up to his potential? Four, will we be able to celebrate Q like its 2008, or dread it like its 2009? Five, how will our bullpen work out? (I think the bullpen may be fine, but I’m concerned about the depth)

These questions need to be answered and answered fast. So as I said earlier, I can’t wait for baseball to begin. And Cub fans, take this as a warning, because there won’t be another. Get ready to lose a few games to us, and to see us walking away with the WS Trophy this year.

GO WHITE SOX!!!

Someone Sign Me Up for the College Business

Ah yes college. Where boys become men and coaches get their asses paid.

College sports without a doubt can be called the biggest hypocrisy in America. What used to be known as a learning institution can now be called a “cash cow.” Sure, its old news, but I take a look at the whole infrastructure of the institutions for higher learning in the United States of America.

So come into my classroom, take a seat. Put your books down and grab a cold one, as professor Mike C is about to explain the class.

1-Remember school isn’t about education; it’s about getting into the NFL or NBA as quickly as possible.

Yes, I know. In the end, it’s all about making the Benjis, but I find it laughable that many of these schools talk about education. That’s why you will see teachers give passes to student athletes. You see freshman and sophomores leave school to go into sports. I believe that blame should fall on the sports organizations for allowing people to enter the draft early, but I don’t see schools doing anything to discourage this practice. People don’t care if they’re educated anymore. They want the money and the fame. The average career in the NFL, hence the saying NFL means “not for long.” Perhaps, learning some skills will do you some good because nothing gets promised to anyone in this life.

2- College sports=huge revenues for schools

So many schools have sponsorship deals, and with ESPN showcasing them, it’s a hard trend to ignore. The colleges make so much money on this stuff, and if you notice, certain schools are featured over others. Duke, North Carolina, and Kentucky are three schools you will always see on ESPN. I don’t like the idea of exploiting students for financial gain. Sure some of these kids love the fact they’re in the spotlight, but the whole thing makes me feel kind of dirty.

3-If you’re going to coach; do not proclaim loyalty to any school.

This enables you to find a way to make more money. When I think of school coaches, I think of people who went to the school, and want to make a difference in the growth process for many student athletes and build relationships. Not in the good old NCAA. Coach jump around to schools like there’s no tomorrow. At one time, you could associate certain coaches with schools. The only reason Bobby Knight ended up at Texas Tech had to do with someone making accusations and him losing his job. Many of the old school coaches are still with the same schools. Going back to Duke and NC, Mike K and Roy Williams. I see guys like John Calipari jump from school to school for more money, and Lane Kiffin and his magic act going from Volunteer to Trojan. And you see more and more of it. Remember the Brian Kelly episode? No loyalty in college sports? It’s a bunch of horseshit when you recruit kids to come to your school, only to leave for a better offer. I understand more money means motive. However, when you are playing with kids futures here, it’s not right.

4-Remember ND and SEC get preference.

If you want America to see you in action, join Norte Dame. I ask myself why in the hell is America subjected to this Norte Dame shit on a weekly basis? Team hasn’t won a bowl game in how long? There are better college games to showcase. CBS features the SEC on a regular basis. I understand the SEC can be considered the best conference, but many other conferences and college programs have something to offer as well.

5-You can make money joining a certain school.

Back to Knight, he asked why a coach goes through 3 different schools, and the two before him have recruitment violations. It seems to me, payoffs to join schools happen all the time, and the NCAA could do a better job of stopping it.

When it comes down to it, March Madness is my taste for college sports because its fun to watch. Everything else, well, gets an “F” from me.

M

HDH: CAROLing in ST LOUIS with some DOLPHINS and CUBS while CONAN is watching the BULLS on TV

Today is Wednesday, and its hump day. On with the show…

1-Pete Carroll left his little nest at USC to go to the Seattle Seahawks. This should be interesting, but I find it more intriguing that Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin bolted after one year of coaching in the Volunteer State to take his job after being the 4th or 5th choice. This guy goes through jobs like frogs with lily pads. He goes through the Al Davis freak show in Oakland, becomes a “clown” in Tenn and takes shots at Florida coach Urban Meyer. I can’t believe he bolts after one year. Sure he put a good staff in place, but to leave after a year is horse shit.

2-To anyone who wants to say Albert Pujols is under a microscope because Mark McGwire took the hitting coach job in St Louis, you’re delusional. Pujols may be the most complete player in baseball, and he said he would give back his entire salary if he ever tested positive for PEDs. I believe in Albert Pujols, and I know in my heart he never did or ever will used PEDs.

3-The Dolphins fired Paul Pasqualoni, their defensive coordinator with good reason. You saw how the Dolphins D quit on their last 4 games in the first half. Someone has to answer for that shit, so the old man gotta go. So hear this Bear fans, we will get our coordinator before you do. Count on it. Parcels, Ireland, Sparano > Angelo, Smith.

4-The Cubs, after all their shit, have decided to hire Greg Maddux as the assistant GM. Huh? I have never heard of anyone in baseball needing an assistant general manager. Sure, Kenny Williams has Rich Hahn, but he doesn’t need him. I say Jim Hendry, your successor has arrived, and you better do something good this year. OR this can be some PR move by the Ricketts? Like saying they would retire Andre Dawson’s number if he goes to the hall as a Cub. First off, dipshits, Dawson doesn’t get to pick, and secondly, Dawson made his name with Montreal, not the useless Chicago Cubs.

5-I would like to say Conan O’Brien should not go back to NBC and NBC should stand for NOT BACKING CONAN. I know Jay Leno got the Tonight Show job because he kissed everyone’s ass, and Dave Letterman’s attitude didn’t do him any favors, according to things I have read. But come on guys. He wanted to leave the Tonight Show to do his silly ass primetime show. Conan stayed with NBC in hopes of taking over the seat, and you guys did him like this. Whatever. I would like to say three things about Conan. One, he looks like my dad. Two, he’s funny. Three, Fox would benefit greatly using him as direct competition to both Networks. I wish the best to him, and hope one day NBC execs trip over Jay Leno’s chin.

6-Bulls rumor again regarding fossil Tracy McGrady. Joakim Noah is the Bull to go. The little bit of love I have for the Bulls goes down the toilet if that deal gets done. Noah is a huge reason why I cheer for the Bulls! He better not go anywhere!

7-And finally, update on show. Today I will be making final touches on it, and I should have an announcement on the airdate tomorrow.


Thanks for reading. Bye for now.

M

$16.50 Will Get Anyone Into The Hall Mr McGwire

Come on people, can we say shocker? No I don’t think so.

We all knew it. Mark McGwire didn’t want to talk about the past. He said so himself. However, for the last 20 or so hours, that’s all he wanted to talk about. We’re the bored priest on the other side of the screen while Big Mac confesses his sins to us. Do we tell him to say 20 hail Marys, sleep on a bed of thorns, and go on with his life? Or does he get held accountable for his actions?

McGwire and some schmuck on the Cubs named Sammy Sosa are the two people that are credited with the term “saving baseball.” The home run chase brought everyone back to a game that seemed to lose a lot of steam since the strike in 1994. The truth of the matter that everything these two players did is based on drug use. Prescribed or not, doesn’t matter. Sosa hasn’t admitted to anything, McGwire has. Point being, its kind of like saying you play darts better when you’re drunk, you take steroids to improve your game.

Sure, I watched the interview with Bob Costas on MLB network last night. Mark McGwire’s a broken man. He sat there with a cup of water, choking up, talking about how he hadn’t taken the roids to make himself better. He took them to play through the pain. His body took wear and tear in the 162 game marathon. God gave him enough talent where he didn’t need them, and he wished he never played during the steroid era. He got himself sucked in to the evilness of PEDs. Canseco never injected him; he took his drugs by mouth. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Sir, no one really gives a shit about your excuses. People question your motivation.

As many know, McGwire was hired on as the batting coach for a team that I can say is my favorite NL team, the St Louis Cardinals. Their manager is the legendary Tony Larussa who managed the Oakland A’s team that the famous basher brothers were on. That’s McGwire and Jose Canseco. Both admitted steroid users. Mac says Tony didn’t know about it. Come on, really? Mac now protects his friends. His parents didn’t know, his family didn’t know, no one asked. Anyone buying this shit? Not me. I understand the whole “never rat on your friends, and always keep your mouth shut,” but I believe if McGwire kept his mouth shut about himself for many years, he’ll protect his friends and family as well.

I’m not going to judge. It’s a shame that the big comeback in ’97 has the word tainted all over it. I feel sorry for Mark McGwire because I see a man who has been carrying a burden for the last 5 years or so. Can I forgive Mark McGwire? Its only baseball kids. Everyone talks about records and asterisks and all that. Everyone says what do you say to your kids? You tell your kids that some people used stuff to be better, and some didn’t. Take a look at the 10 active (or could be active) players on the list. Everyone except for 3 names have been linked to PEDs. They are, Ken Griffey Jr (who I think can be the real hero of the “steroid era”), Jim Thome, and Frank Thomas. They played for the greatest team in baseball. Hopefully, nothing ever comes out about them. Then I can say the stars on my team remained clean in the steroid era. The Maggs rumors are a little staggering, however.

Yet, the fact is, you can’t trust anyone these days in baseball. It seems like everyone has a story, everyone has a reason; everyone is keeping the bones in the closet. Frank had some crazy ass injuries during his career, but many believe that was him trying to stay away from Spring Training. Nevertheless, if we want to be fans of baseball, we must know that silly shit like grown men injecting each other in the ass, and people taking substances happened. It’s a fact in life, and if you want to throw away this great game, that’s your business. Me; I will try to embrace the Chicago White Sox winning another World Series, and moving along. So to hell with Big Mac. He’s one player who did what he felt he had to do. He didn’t lie, but stayed silent at a lawyers request. He needed to fight the pain; the pain of being mediocre. He needed to come clean, to make sure Cardinals Spring Training isn’t a three ring circus come February. However, the most important thing; we don’t want to talk about the past. So let’s try to enjoy the present.

My title was inspired by my buddy Horacio’s Facebook status. Want to give credit where its due.

M

No Payoff From the Playoffs

Wow! What a bunch of crappy playoff games, except for that Green Bay/Cardinals game.

That game was one of the worst defensive games I have ever seen in my life on both sides of the field. You felt like watching the game, the team who got the ball within the last minute of the game would win. And it could have been Arizona, if their kicker could nail down a measly 35 yard field goal, but no he blew it. However, when it came to overtime, his line backing friend Karlos Dansby forced a turnover and brought it into the end zone and the Cardinals advance to the divisional playoffs. How ironic that in a game with little or no defense, a defensive play ends the game. Jason Goff, Score producer and on air personality brought up a good point after that game. He asked why in football when it’s a blowout, its considered a good game, but a high scoring baseball game is bad because the pitching was off. I think that’s a good question. Maybe we’ll delve into that more during the week.

I am sick to my stomach about the Cincy/NY Jets game. What happened to the heart of the Bengals? All these people died on their team, and they were talking about winning it for them and shit. However, they didn’t win a God damn thing for them. Instead, Cedric Benson played, and everyone else kind of laid down. Kind of cute to see one of my most hated teams move along in the playoffs. How long do I have to see this fat fuck brag, smile and laugh on TV? Note to Rivers, LT, and you damn lightning bolts; please cancel these guys tickets to Miami. They don’t belong there.

While we’re on teams I hate, how fun was it to see Tom Brady get his ass handed to him yesterday by Ray Lewis. The way Lewis played, you would think he knew what plays were being called. In fact, he said he studied tape and learned the nuiances of the line and what not. Nice work Ray Ray. The Ravens defense seems to be in form, and as I said earlier, I don’t know how effective this Patsies team will be without Welker. Nice to see them get killed in Foxborough. I have officially adopted the Ravens as my team to cheer for in the playoffs.

And then there’s the NFC rivalry between Dallas and Philly. I thought Philly had what it took to explode on teams. Quite the opposite, as Tony Romo broke his December/January curse in a big way. He hit 23 out 34, 244 yards with 2 TDs. The game was quite boring, like most of the games were.

So I thought I would share my picks with you for the next few games…

New York Jets @ San Diego Chargers
They say defense wins championships, and lets be honest, as much as I hate the team, the Jets do have the best defense going in. However, the Chargers are not just you average ordinary Joe blow team. They have a quarterback who regularly hits targets, a two man running back attack that will tire out any D, and their defense is no slouch either. Let’s be for real here, Mark Sanchez isn’t ready for primetime, and you’re playing an elite team that isn’t pulling their starters. Final San Diego 33 NY Jets 13

Baltimore @ Indianapolis
Everyone hates the fact that Indy rested their starters as soon as the number one seed was locked up, but it may work for the better. Peyton Manning is MVP for a reason. He came back six times this year in the fourth quarter. He has many different weapons to throw to, and unlike the Patsies missing their chief slot receiver, Indy is at full strength. However, you can’t count on the Ravens. Their defense looked really good against New England, they put lots of pressure on Brady, and Ed Reed is back to his old self. The Ravens are comfortable on the road and going to the oil rig will not scare them. I think this Ravens team looks mean, and is ready to eat some Campbells Peyton soup. I will call for the upset here. Final Baltimore 24 Indianapolis 21
Dallas @ Minnesota
The legend of Favre looked like it was flying high for a while, but fizzled for a little bit into a feud between the head coach and said lead warrior. However, in a game before the playoffs, the Vikings showed that they still got it. However, I take a look at what the Bears did to them at full strength, and same with Carolina. These are two bad to mediocre teams, and the Dallas Cowboys have proven they are a true threat, and I believe that Tony Romo and his resurrected group of receivers will have the last laugh in what promises to be a shootout. Final Dallas 38 Minnesota 35

Arizona @ New Orleans
Quite frankly, this one is hard to pick. If you asked me 2 months ago, New Orleans would be an easy pick. However, Kurt Warner is the official playoff quarterback and Larry Fitzgerald is one of the best receivers in football today. Now sure the Cardinals torched the Green Bay defense, but I didn’t see the Cardinals standing tall in the 4th of the D front as well. I believe that New Orleans has the better defense, and although this game to me promises to be the best one of the four, I think you have to give the edge to New Orleans because one, they’re at home, two, they’re rested, three, they have to make good for the last three games of the season, and they’re going to come out hard. With that being said, I am not sure Arizona’s defense can stand up to it. Final New Orleans 28 Arizona 24

There it is. My playoff picks for the weekend. Hope it works out. Although I didn’t write anything about the playoffs last week, based on my picks, I’m 1-3. So I guess I’m no expert. (I picked Baltimore over NE. The rest of the games I got my ass handed to me.)

We’ll see how it plays out.

M

Stupid Athlete Tricks

In the wake of the Gilbert Arenas gun incident, it has come to my attention that athletes do really stupid things. Why would anyone bring guns into a locker room for a basketball game? And then after being busted out for it, put his hands in the shape of a gun in the middle of the huddle before the game. What an ass hat. David Stein said he wasn’t fit to play ball, so he suspended him indefinitely. I believe he isn’t fit to leave his house, but that’s just me. I thought what we would could do today is take a look at seven different stupid “athlete tricks” that have taken place over the years. No particular order of course.

1-PLAX AND THE GUN-Not only is the idiot concealing a weapon in a nightclub, but even more unbelievable, how do you shoot yourself in the leg, jackass?!?!?!?!

2-RICKY AND THE SMOKE-I love Ricky, but dude pissed his career away for years to go smoke some reefers.

3-VICK AND HIS DOGS-This gets classified under the fucking stupid category. Actually that is being kind. This was a monstrous act, and I can’t believe he was allowed to play QB for the Eagles after his crime. Sure, he did time for the crime, but his morals need to be questioned. And morals are a big part of the game according to the NFL’s top dog commissioner Roger Godell.

4-DALY AND HIS BOOZE-Sometimes you need to pickup the golf club more instead of the bottle.

5-OJ AND HIS GLOVES-If the glove, don’t fit, you must acquit. What if the lawyer is full of shit, God rest his soul.

6-MERRIMAN AND HIS WHATEVER THE HELL SHE IS-Shawne Merriman was accused of beating Tila Tequila, the reality My Space slut machine. But I don’t think the stupidity of Merriman is the alleged acts of violence against the little person who took two shots at love and lost. It’s alleged so you can’t say it’s stupid. I think the dance he does after a sack looks a little stupid.

7-TYSON AND THE EAR-Boxing is a sport when you use your hands, not your mouth. This isn’t like M&M’s. Where it melts in your mouth, not in your hand. Kind of bad relation, but what man bites another mans ear off. Holyfield’s ear still hasn’t come back, and sometimes I wonder if Mike Tyson’s sanity has either.

HDH: FACEBOOK is a JOKE, that HOSSA thought was OFFENSIVE and MCGRADY thinks DAWSON is on a TV SHOW

Time for hump day. Time for some humdrum. Time to get it going baby.

1- Really quick, to anyone who asks me to be a friend on Facebook. If you’re doing it just to check up on me, don’t bother. One thing I can’t stand is when everyone thinks you’re going to grow up to be a failure, and when you don’t they get upset or something. If I ask to be your friend, I am going to actively speak to you and check in with you, joke with you. That’s a real “Facebook friend"

2-Heard a funny joke yesterday. What’s the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa stopped after three hos! (Insert drum rap here)

3-In case you didn’t get the memo, Marian Hossa has been HOT! Back to back games, he scored 2 goals, which brings his total since the night before Thanksgiving to 10, making him the sixth player to have at least 10 goals on the team, along with his 10 assists. The man who we let go, Marty Havlat, 7 goals and 18 assists since the puck dropped on opening night. Hey buddy, why don’t you go twitter this “Hossa is my dad, and he spanks my ass!!!”

4-Bruce Arians got himself fired from Pittsburgh, Charlie Weis fired from Norte Dame, and some guy from Buffalo got fired along with the rest of the coaching staff there. It’s like 31 flavors for the Bears. So many coordinators to choose from.

5-Heard rumors that Tracy Mcgrady would be a Bull. Heard a rumor he was going to the Suns. Heard one he’s going to be an all star, and then I heard one he’s retiring. I also heard that people are getting tired of hearing these rumors.

6-I am NOT a Cub fan, but I appreciate the talent of Andre Dawson. Especially when he was the one two punch in Montreal with Tim Raines, who chose to play for the right team in Chicago. Here’s hoping he gets his bids today. And also here’s to Ron Santo never getting one as well.

7-And finally tonight is the night. I will be shooting the premiere episode of HI I’M MICHAEL. It takes place in Mt Prospect. Let me know if you want to come.

Storytime With the Chicago Bears Management

Bear fans, why so angry?

What did you want the entire management team wiped out like in Buffalo? That the result you were hoping for?

Well, grow up. It’s not happening. Not when this team owes the general manager and coach a boatload of money.

Do you think that the management team should be gutted out; they all get paid for sitting on their ass, while the Bears are forced to go to Walmart to get a new coach? Let Lovie have a shot. Quite frankly, you all were crying three years ago that he deserves the money when he turned around your little franchise and fixed the problems that Dick Jauron caused. He made the playoffs 3 years in a row, one being a Super Bowl. Sure he had two years in the last three where the team finished 7-9. Yet, in one year, the team went 9-7, and missed the playoffs by one game. It’s tough to beat Houston at home. You all bitched and moaned about how this coach needed to get paid.

How quick you all turn? So fickle the Chicago fan. Well, not all Chicago fans, Cub fans for sure. Its hilarious to me how you guys always want to string up the coach. You want to hang someone for this season, look at your players. Look at your offensive line. Look at your quarterback. He had a bad year. They all had a bad year. Lovie called bad plays on defense, so he no longer has that luxury. Yet, I can understand you guys being angry about the press conference yesterday.

The press conference yesterday must have been one of the biggest farces I have seen in my life. All this talk about change and what not. Ted Phillips, president, and General Manager Jerry Angelo talked about changes. Then Lovie Smith goes up there and says we’re not changing anything. The scheme works. Blah, blah, blah. So you fired the offensive coaches, OK? Now you’re bringing in a new OC. Do you really think that you’re scheme doesn’t change now?

My favorite comment of the whole thing came from Angelo. “We don’t have to work hard, because we work hard now.” Jesus, really Mr. Angelo? And you wonder why Bears fans get pissed off? Instead of Bears management on the stage, they thought Moe, Larry and Curly took over. And yeah, you would think the three stooges took over this team at times?

I think the Bears Management made five mistakes that have raised the ire of the fan base.

1-Devin Hester’s role should be to return kicks. Not be a corner, not a receiver. You took a guy who dominated as a kick returner, and somehow due to all the position changes, he’s no good at that any longer. If you want to use Hester as a secondary slot receiver, fine, but he needs to focus on his talent, returning kicks. Get yourself a receiver, and get Hester working on that.

2-I think the way Lovie Smith stood behind Rex Grossman for the longest time also didn’t help his cause. Grossman had some real good games, but mostly bad. There should have been a competition between him and Orton, but Lovie felt Grossman should have been the guy.

3-Thomas Jones was the featured back. Not Cedric Benson. Why in God’s name would you let him go when Benson didn’t do anything to give you a reason? It was once again, all college football hype.

4-Ron Rivera had this defense playing at the highest possible level. So he wanted to go after a head coach job. Everyone wants to better themselves. Why fire the guy?

5-I think this one gets a sliding scale. People are angry about the draft picks being lost over a guy who threw 26 interceptions. I can see why people get mad about the fact you sold the farm to get Jay Cutler, but a super QB doesn’t come very often. Especially for a team who hasn’t had one in at least 30 years.

Lovie did say the coaching was a problem so he would be calling the plays himself. Perhaps “no two losing seasons in a row” may have saved him. Of course there’s $11 million hanging over his head. Maybe, the McCaskeys really think big of him. I’m not sure. One thing is for sure. Your team comes to south Florida this year, prepare for a beat down.

By the way, I think it’s safe to say Bears management is on notice. You blow it this year, YOU GONE!

That’s all I got for now.

M

The End of the Road

So another regular football season concluded. First I will start on my boys, the Dolphins. I am very proud of the way you guys played against Pittsburgh. It definitely makes up for the shitty play in the first half against Tennessee and Houston. Although the defense’s engines needed a quarter or so to warm up, this week’s effort surpassed anything I have seen in the last two weeks in the second half. I am glad that Pat White’s injury isn’t that serious, and hopefully the trifecta knows what holes need to be filled, and we get it done, and be major competitors next year. A quick look around the league here…

I am not a fan of the New England Patriots, but I do like Wes Welker. I feel sorry for this young man who can be classified as the best slot receiver in football (he better watch it because Davone Bess is getting up there), in a game against Houston yesterday. New England had the AFC east all sewn up but for some reason, Bill Belichick decided to play his starters, and Welker torn his ACL yesterday, and may not make it back into the playoffs. This makes for a good argument why the Colts decided to pull the starters in the middle of last weeks game against the Jets. Imagine if this happened to Reggie Wayne or Dallas Clark; how would the Colts look going in? Well, they would look like the Patriots going in against a mean Ravens defense. By the way, I heard Tom Brady might be hurt too.

Speaking about the Jets, what a bunch of lucky fuckers! First off, you catch a ray of sunshine when the Colts pull their starters and somehow every team that needs to lose loses. Then, Cincinnatti decides not to show up, which puts you guys in the drivers seat for the entire game. I can’t believe you guys were lucky enough to get into the postseason. It just goes to show you that even chumps can get in, and a team who legitimately punched their post season ticket, the Houston Texans cannot.

And look at Pittsburgh, they pull the miracle at Lambeau, find a way to beat the Ravens and Phins, and the Ravens pay them back with a win against the Raiders, knocking them out of the box. So long defending champs, no longer defending, no longer champs.

In the meantime, look at the weirdness of the NFL. Three rematches from week 17, wow! And I’m sorry, I really am not too excited for the rematch of Ochocinco and Reavis Island. Is it just me, or has this season for the NFL been kind of blah?

Anyway, I guess we’ll see what happens in the offseason. Looking forward to the Bears drama at 2pm today.