Thursday, June 16, 2011

I Like the White Sox: One Fricking Run, That's It

And now to expound on second half’s post from yesterday. In the “sort of” words of Harry Doyle (I changed one sentence)

“One run. One God damn run is all they got.”

Yes one run. One fricking run kids. And how many did we have. Zero!!!!! That is one less than yesterday. Actually we did get only one run. The entire series!!!!

The whole team is injured. Mauer, Morneau, Kubel, Span, tatermasher...all injured. We could have split this series, but no once again the Twins win again. We are subjected to watch Minnie and Paul jerk each other after a nasty Cuddyer home run. Why couldn’t that guy get injured? Oh wait, it won’t matter. So I am just going to spew lots of venom here.

1-The Twins should have a “fan gets to play LF night” every time they play the Sox. They will look just as good as all the no name guys who the Sox played today. The fan gets to keep his Twins jersey.

2-Isn’t there a coffin under home plate there at good old Target Field? It’s the ghost of Harmon Killebrew haunting us. He’s trying to sleep and every time A.J. hits his shoes with the bat, he ends up waking the old bastard up.

3-To this clown Jesse S who is calling the police, or calling the CIA, or calling his mommy; the only thing I can think of is Kirby Puckett had some sort of relations with your family so therefore, I can see where you take exception. How come he didn’t get buried under home plate if he’s such a great guy?

4-Back to the whole Target thing, I will never shop at Target again until the White Sox win a series against these crapwads. And I used to be a good customer Target. Well not anymore. You take your bull’s eye and shove it somewhere.

5-Joe Mauer I guess is holding a press conference shortly. What? You telling everyone you’re coming back? Who frickin cares what you do sideburn boy? Why don’t you find a lake to jump in with you catchers gear on? Go try to catch a shark.

6-Ron Gardenhire, go become Santa Claus at Santa’s Village. That would be a more beneficial job to kids everywhere, especially the ones who are Sox fans. They think you’re a cranky old man who kicks our ass all the time. They don’t like you. Become Santa and they just might like you.

7-Jim Thome, can you please leave the team? The last thing I want to see is you hit number 600 in a Twinkie uniform. This is disgusting.

Final thought: I HATE THE TWINS! And the sad thing is, I have to hate the Cubs less when they play you. That makes me puke. Now I have to favor the Cubs thanks to you pricks.

Mark Buehrle deserved better today. We fans deserve better than this. Twinkie Town is probably laughing at us right now. Adam Dunn says “oh too bad about the weather I can’t wait to hit there.” Yeah, well neither can we. Wait I think he did get a hit today. Good for you donkey!!!! OK I’m pissed. Gotta go.

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