Ladies and gentlemen, get your engines started. Mike C has come to play. Are you ready?
1-The White Sox took a walk off the plank and decided the first move they’re making at Winter Meetings would be, well, you know that guy, Mark Teahen, the next project that KW signed that happened to be wearing the bright blue uniforms from KC. Yeah, they’re going to lock him up for 3 years at 14 mil. Everyone in town has been dogging this guy, but I have a feeling it might work out. You can never go wrong when you bring a guy on the team who does Tweeter as if he was his dog.
2-While we’re on the subject on the White Sox, I find it very scary that our super setup guy Matty Thornton says he has a bromance with free agent J.J. Putz from their days back in Seattle, and he is pushing hard to get him on the team. Putz was the closer a couple years back for the M’s, and then got traded to the Mets, where he spent most of the season on the DL. I wonder if Matty was there to give him a foot massage. Don’t people get thrown out of windows for that shit?
3-Here’s one more piece of White Sox fodder for you from the Winter Meetings in case you haven’t heard. There are two huge trade rumors you should know about if you don’t already. First, Godzilla may be coming to Chicago. The New York Daily Reports that the World Series MVP Hideki Matsui has garnered interest from our fine feathered team (whoops that would be the Hawks) and the Angels. As far as I’m concerned they owe us one after Hunter, so back off Tony Reagins. And don’t forget, Carl Crawford may be coming here for Quentin and/or Jenks. Fun stuff. Gotta love them winter meetings.
4-For all the Lady Gaga haters out there, this one’s for you. She is whacked out, but come on, tell me you can’t get enough of it. You never know what she is going to do next. From her crazy outfits to killing herself on stage at the MTV, she is unpredictable and she sells records. Her music, well it’s OK. Pokerface is a fun little number. In fact my daughter loves it.
5-And now a message to Governor Bobby Jindal of the great state of Louisana. “My dear sir, I know your city hasn’t had the greatest decade, but I see your football team is kicking serious ass. That beating they gave the Gaytriots was sweet. However, you just made the statement that the New Orleans Saints would go undefeated, not just in the regular season but in the Superbowl. Something that has never been done before.” You know sir, I know you have advisors and shit like that, but didn’t anyone tell you that the Miami Dolphins in 1972 ran the table from start to finish? So yeah, your boys may have beaten the Dolphins this year, but they will be Amerigo Verspucci to our Christopher Columbus. So put that in your pipe and smoke it. OH and by the way, thank you for your time and have a nice day.”
6-The Tiger Woods tabloid machine continues on as a woman named Mindy Lawton claims that her and the champion golfer had sex countless amounts of times for a year while she worked at Perkins. Really Tiger, come on. You banged a waitress that worked at Perkins? I heard that the waitresses at Dennys don’t spit at least. I’m sorry that was in poor taste, and if you have seen the picture, so was Tiger’s. He lived up to Nike’s slogan of “just do it” in this particular case.
7-And finally, let me say this for the record, Joakim Noah is my guy. BUT, dude you need to take some chill pills. Calling out Lebron James for his dancing, yeah that was pretty cool. However I don’t get the throwing the ball off the court and shit. I know that things are really shitty lately, but you got to chill out man. Kick it like Artest and drink Hennessy before the game.
And that’s the hump day humdrum for today. Have a good day and drive carefully on those roads.
M
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
No Comment at Winter Meetings
That and “I can’t give you a dollar if I don’t have fifty cents” may be two of the most popular quotes of White Sox General Manager Kenny Williams, the man who has been known to fly under the radar once in a while. Sometimes we love him, and sometimes we are left scratching our heads.
For instance, Chone Figgins was the supposed hot target of the Sox because he could lead off, play 3rd and right field. This man was supposedly too expensive. I think 4 years at 36 mil was affordable for a guy who fills two major holes in the lineup. What are we saving all our money for Podsednik? Is Thome coming back? What’s the deal here man?
I think as Sox fans, the most difficult part is trying to figure out Kenny and what he’s going to do next. Some of his deals come totally out of right field. The Visquel and Jones signings, although cheap, you are taking up space on the bench. I thought we were going young. These two guys are well…not. Especially Omar. He’s border lining senior status, well in baseball that is. What the hell is going on here? Do our younger players really need a mentor? What purpose will this serve at the end of the day?
We would love to see people come over here by the plenty. Getting Peavy and Rios was exciting. I know Rios wasn’t that great last year, but this will be his year. Peavy was lights out last year and hopefully he can continue that. I personally believe we have the best rotation in baseball and we’ll prove it with a division title this year. However, in order to move beyond that, the holes in DH, RF, and lead off need to be filled. Figgins was our guy, but it looks like he headed to Seattle now.
So what to do? It would be nice if Adrian Gonzales makes his way here. Do we have enough to unload to San Diego for him? No one I think we should trade away yet. What do you think? I love Konerko, but Gonzales would be a great upgrade and perhaps Paulie can move to DH. Hole filled.
Is Jordan Danks ready for the big leagues? Maybe, maybe not. Shall we have a third person compete for AL Rookie of the Year? Perhaps Jason Bay is the answer, but we don’t have the money. Should we think about bringing DeRosa back to Chicago, but on the right side of town?
I think Roy Halladay would be a nice addition as well. Since Kenny is “no commenting” the question. Yet, our starters seem to be set, what about the pen? Dotel is a goner, Jenks may be next, and we still have Linebrink. What the hell can we do in the pen?
Well, we’re not totally fucked. I mean, the Cubs have to unload a problem child and can’t do much with all the money they have tied up.
However, we still are left to wonder, what is Kenny crazy guy going to do next?
For instance, Chone Figgins was the supposed hot target of the Sox because he could lead off, play 3rd and right field. This man was supposedly too expensive. I think 4 years at 36 mil was affordable for a guy who fills two major holes in the lineup. What are we saving all our money for Podsednik? Is Thome coming back? What’s the deal here man?
I think as Sox fans, the most difficult part is trying to figure out Kenny and what he’s going to do next. Some of his deals come totally out of right field. The Visquel and Jones signings, although cheap, you are taking up space on the bench. I thought we were going young. These two guys are well…not. Especially Omar. He’s border lining senior status, well in baseball that is. What the hell is going on here? Do our younger players really need a mentor? What purpose will this serve at the end of the day?
We would love to see people come over here by the plenty. Getting Peavy and Rios was exciting. I know Rios wasn’t that great last year, but this will be his year. Peavy was lights out last year and hopefully he can continue that. I personally believe we have the best rotation in baseball and we’ll prove it with a division title this year. However, in order to move beyond that, the holes in DH, RF, and lead off need to be filled. Figgins was our guy, but it looks like he headed to Seattle now.
So what to do? It would be nice if Adrian Gonzales makes his way here. Do we have enough to unload to San Diego for him? No one I think we should trade away yet. What do you think? I love Konerko, but Gonzales would be a great upgrade and perhaps Paulie can move to DH. Hole filled.
Is Jordan Danks ready for the big leagues? Maybe, maybe not. Shall we have a third person compete for AL Rookie of the Year? Perhaps Jason Bay is the answer, but we don’t have the money. Should we think about bringing DeRosa back to Chicago, but on the right side of town?
I think Roy Halladay would be a nice addition as well. Since Kenny is “no commenting” the question. Yet, our starters seem to be set, what about the pen? Dotel is a goner, Jenks may be next, and we still have Linebrink. What the hell can we do in the pen?
Well, we’re not totally fucked. I mean, the Cubs have to unload a problem child and can’t do much with all the money they have tied up.
However, we still are left to wonder, what is Kenny crazy guy going to do next?
Monday, December 7, 2009
The Dolphins Make Up Game
If you remember some time last week, my comments were…
And magically enough, Tom Brady looked like Marcia, Marcia, Marcia.
In the beginning, we all thought more of the same. A 14-0 lead didn’t make things look well. I thought Larry King who was the guest of the boys in the booth was going to have a heart attack at one point. Yet, this Dolphins team showed everyone, all the nay-sayers, all the critics, all those people that said 2008 was a fluke year what they’re made of. Chad Henne has balls of steel, wide receiver Brian Hartline ready to do whatever you want him to, and Cameron Wake showed everyone why he should be a starting LB as he rushed Brady into throwing an interception to end the game to a man who was being slapped in the face by a pussy ass Matt Light last year. Yes, Dolphins vs. Patriots, always a fun game. Always fun to watch. Especially when our Phins come out on top. No matter how difficult.
After a devastating loss in Buffalo last week, Miami somehow bounced back and at a 6-6 record, they are tied with 4 teams (possibly 5 if Baltimore wins tonight). The rest of the schedule will be a tough one. All four teams they play are in the hunt for the AFC Wildcard as they get Tennessee and Jacksonville on the road, and the Texans and Steelers at home. This Sunday is the Jax game as other teams in the race, well having it easy is an understatement.
Pittsburgh goes to Cleveland
Detroit visits Baltimore
The Jets go to Tampa
Carolina goes to Foxborough
St Louis goes to Tennessee
Seattle at Houston
So saying that we have to win this Sunday is an understatement. Its very likely that all the teams we are competing with for the division and/or wild card are playing games they all should win. What’s more a win versus Jax will put us in a virtual tie against them for the wild card. All we can do is win out the rest of the way. If we run the table, then we have done all we can to punch a ticket into the post season.
However, let’s be honest for a minute here. The Miami Dolphins seriously ready for the playoffs? We saw what happened last year, but we have a quarterback that has the arm that CP10 did not have. This teams still rebuilding since 2007. After the schedule they played this year, who expected them to do as well as they’re doing? Not many. Can they get into the post season? I believe they may, but it’s unfortunate that they’re relying on the destiny of too many teams. It will be divine intervention if they make it.
Nevertheless, the Dolphins showed me something yesterday. They have heart. Now if they can get a few more components to make themselves a more solid team, we will be seeing Mr. Lomardi’s statue sometime soon.
In the meantime, let’s see them make the playoffs this year. That would be like…awesome!!!!
M
the Dolphins have something to prove. They’re the victims of embarrassment not because the Bills defense sliced and diced them like the Saints did to the Pats. They allowed themselves to get beat due to poor play calling, and letting a bad team stay in the game on their turf. The Phins had many opportunities to put it away, but they failed. Will they be looking at this game as a way to make up for a bad division loss, and erasing it with a magical divisional victory? You bet your ass. That’s why I believe the Phins can do it in south Florida against a battered New England Patriots team.
And magically enough, Tom Brady looked like Marcia, Marcia, Marcia.
In the beginning, we all thought more of the same. A 14-0 lead didn’t make things look well. I thought Larry King who was the guest of the boys in the booth was going to have a heart attack at one point. Yet, this Dolphins team showed everyone, all the nay-sayers, all the critics, all those people that said 2008 was a fluke year what they’re made of. Chad Henne has balls of steel, wide receiver Brian Hartline ready to do whatever you want him to, and Cameron Wake showed everyone why he should be a starting LB as he rushed Brady into throwing an interception to end the game to a man who was being slapped in the face by a pussy ass Matt Light last year. Yes, Dolphins vs. Patriots, always a fun game. Always fun to watch. Especially when our Phins come out on top. No matter how difficult.
After a devastating loss in Buffalo last week, Miami somehow bounced back and at a 6-6 record, they are tied with 4 teams (possibly 5 if Baltimore wins tonight). The rest of the schedule will be a tough one. All four teams they play are in the hunt for the AFC Wildcard as they get Tennessee and Jacksonville on the road, and the Texans and Steelers at home. This Sunday is the Jax game as other teams in the race, well having it easy is an understatement.
Pittsburgh goes to Cleveland
Detroit visits Baltimore
The Jets go to Tampa
Carolina goes to Foxborough
St Louis goes to Tennessee
Seattle at Houston
So saying that we have to win this Sunday is an understatement. Its very likely that all the teams we are competing with for the division and/or wild card are playing games they all should win. What’s more a win versus Jax will put us in a virtual tie against them for the wild card. All we can do is win out the rest of the way. If we run the table, then we have done all we can to punch a ticket into the post season.
However, let’s be honest for a minute here. The Miami Dolphins seriously ready for the playoffs? We saw what happened last year, but we have a quarterback that has the arm that CP10 did not have. This teams still rebuilding since 2007. After the schedule they played this year, who expected them to do as well as they’re doing? Not many. Can they get into the post season? I believe they may, but it’s unfortunate that they’re relying on the destiny of too many teams. It will be divine intervention if they make it.
Nevertheless, the Dolphins showed me something yesterday. They have heart. Now if they can get a few more components to make themselves a more solid team, we will be seeing Mr. Lomardi’s statue sometime soon.
In the meantime, let’s see them make the playoffs this year. That would be like…awesome!!!!
M
Friday, December 4, 2009
Here Come the Hawks
Back in the late 80’s, early 90’s, I remember the roar of the old Chicago Stadium. And I also remember getting into Blackhawks hockey. In my life, I have only been to one game. It was game three of the Campbell Conference finals there when the Hawks played the Red Wings and beat them leading to a sweep of the series. And then a couple years later, I lost cable, and the team started to trade away many of my favorite players. Jeremy Roenick, Eddie Belfour, Chris Chelios, Dirk Graham, all leaving for whatever. I lost faith and lost interest. At the time this was going on, little Patrick Kane and Jonathon Toews were growing up and playing hockey at local parks in their respected areas.
Just yesterday, these two “boys” along with a defenseman named Duncan Keith were locked up as the “future” of the organization. In the last couple of years, I have watched Rocky Wirtz and John Mcdonough resurrect the franchise by involving former players, having fan conventions, and most importantly putting the home games back on TV before the senior Wirtz decided it was unfair to telecast them because of the season ticket holders. Toews, Kane, and Duncan along with Hossa are the future of this team and the question may be who we’re going to let go, but how many cups are we going to win next decade?!?!?!?!
I am very excited about the future of the Hawks. We’ll worry about the cap next year, this year we’ll worry about the cup.
That is all for today, have a great weekend.
M
Just yesterday, these two “boys” along with a defenseman named Duncan Keith were locked up as the “future” of the organization. In the last couple of years, I have watched Rocky Wirtz and John Mcdonough resurrect the franchise by involving former players, having fan conventions, and most importantly putting the home games back on TV before the senior Wirtz decided it was unfair to telecast them because of the season ticket holders. Toews, Kane, and Duncan along with Hossa are the future of this team and the question may be who we’re going to let go, but how many cups are we going to win next decade?!?!?!?!
I am very excited about the future of the Hawks. We’ll worry about the cap next year, this year we’ll worry about the cup.
That is all for today, have a great weekend.
M
Thursday, December 3, 2009
The Fall is Always the Climax
Every morning on Facebook, a man named Ron Kittle, who if you are an intelligent baseball fan you know as the man who hit many home runs over the roof of old Comiskey Park as a member of the greatest team on Earth, the Chicago White Sox, always has a great message. Here are some of his entries:
…-.---..----…..-:::::---… Morse Code Morning to you.. or no way that top goes with that purple submarine ;) was a little chilly out to wear my mesh tank-topfor my walk had to throw on the winter wear....Make it a HELP DAY that means help someone out in someway.most are afraid to ask..offer it out 25ft High 5
Good Morning...it is going to be an awesome day..quit thinking about the stuff you have no control of..FOCUS on your strengths...makes everything a little less hectic...thinking skillet with the works..and Hawaiian Sweet Bread will be done in 7 min..hot and fresh..yep raspberry jam to :)... I feel so good it is scary...!!!!!
Ok we are a go on breakfast..working on it !!!!! It is going to be a great day had a nice walk..and heading north to meet some friends HOPE THEY are AWAKE ;) Get out your FAT PENCIL and write that list of the things you need to get done, because I know it could be a powerful list and if you can include a little charity also..someone needs your help. High 5 everyone...
Now how can you not feel good after reading that shit?
Ron was and is everyone’s kind of sports hero in the city. Never arrogant, always honest, and appreciated the game of baseball and the people who came to watch him. Then there is the opposite. Funny I bring this up but let’s say Barry Bonds. A guy who allegedly cheated his way to Hank Aaron’s record, said bad shit about his family to the press, and told Ron himself “I don’t sign for white people” when Kittle approached him about signing jerseys he could sell for his charity. So here we have two polar opposites?
I bring this up because I think its fascinating how people view athletes. There are those like my brother who say, “I don’t give a shit if he’s an asshole. If he plays good, that’s all I care about.” And then there are those like me who look at the stuff as major bush league. Do I care about arrogance? No. But I think ultimately you need to remember who your supports and customers are.
Sports aren’t really what they used to be back in the day. Most people would stay on a team forever. Very rarely did you see guys switch around. You would never see a superstar like Ryne Sandberg leave the Cubs, the thought of Michael Jordan being traded to a different team after his contract was up was preposterous. Nowadays, athletes jump from team to team not because they want to, but because teams are more concentrated on building a better product than loyalty to a player who helped them.
This whole concept has made the players feel either one or two ways. Helpless because what the player wants isn’t always what the player gets. Or the opposite, powerful because then the player feels like he’s bigger than the team. Now, I didn’t want to get into a debate about free agency, arbitration, and other facets of the business of sports. I brought this up for a reason.
We saw over the last week, Tiger Woods got more press than anyone. Why is it when athletes fail in life, we’re all over it? Everyone is guilty. The news writers and talk shows light the fuse because they know we’re eating it up. Why is it we like to see people fail; especially ones who experience success more than others? Perhaps it’s because their humanity shines through and they for about one hour, a week, perhaps a month, are just like us. They have emotions and it’s hard for them to hide it. So when we hear the voice mail from Tiger Woods telling his “girlfriend” to change his voice mail, we think back to a time when we felt we were going to get busted for something and tried to cover our ass. Unfortunately for the young icon, the girl rolled over on him, and not literally this time. It could be empathy.
Or maybe it’s because people enjoy the fall from grace. When Roger Clemens was in that courtroom everyone had something to say about it. When Mark McGwire was in front of congress talking about the future and not the past, everyone was saddened. Everyone has an opinion on what happened.
Then there’s the opposite. People like me who really don’t give a shit. I only write about it here because I just like to say shit about things.
I know I went on two topics but I think the point of the piece was, one, athletes should treat their fans better, and two, people care too much about what happens in athlete’s lives outside of the arena.
Carry on and as Ron says “high 5 to you today!”
M
…-.---..----…..-:::::---… Morse Code Morning to you.. or no way that top goes with that purple submarine ;) was a little chilly out to wear my mesh tank-topfor my walk had to throw on the winter wear....Make it a HELP DAY that means help someone out in someway.most are afraid to ask..offer it out 25ft High 5
Good Morning...it is going to be an awesome day..quit thinking about the stuff you have no control of..FOCUS on your strengths...makes everything a little less hectic...thinking skillet with the works..and Hawaiian Sweet Bread will be done in 7 min..hot and fresh..yep raspberry jam to :)... I feel so good it is scary...!!!!!
Ok we are a go on breakfast..working on it !!!!! It is going to be a great day had a nice walk..and heading north to meet some friends HOPE THEY are AWAKE ;) Get out your FAT PENCIL and write that list of the things you need to get done, because I know it could be a powerful list and if you can include a little charity also..someone needs your help. High 5 everyone...
Now how can you not feel good after reading that shit?
Ron was and is everyone’s kind of sports hero in the city. Never arrogant, always honest, and appreciated the game of baseball and the people who came to watch him. Then there is the opposite. Funny I bring this up but let’s say Barry Bonds. A guy who allegedly cheated his way to Hank Aaron’s record, said bad shit about his family to the press, and told Ron himself “I don’t sign for white people” when Kittle approached him about signing jerseys he could sell for his charity. So here we have two polar opposites?
I bring this up because I think its fascinating how people view athletes. There are those like my brother who say, “I don’t give a shit if he’s an asshole. If he plays good, that’s all I care about.” And then there are those like me who look at the stuff as major bush league. Do I care about arrogance? No. But I think ultimately you need to remember who your supports and customers are.
Sports aren’t really what they used to be back in the day. Most people would stay on a team forever. Very rarely did you see guys switch around. You would never see a superstar like Ryne Sandberg leave the Cubs, the thought of Michael Jordan being traded to a different team after his contract was up was preposterous. Nowadays, athletes jump from team to team not because they want to, but because teams are more concentrated on building a better product than loyalty to a player who helped them.
This whole concept has made the players feel either one or two ways. Helpless because what the player wants isn’t always what the player gets. Or the opposite, powerful because then the player feels like he’s bigger than the team. Now, I didn’t want to get into a debate about free agency, arbitration, and other facets of the business of sports. I brought this up for a reason.
We saw over the last week, Tiger Woods got more press than anyone. Why is it when athletes fail in life, we’re all over it? Everyone is guilty. The news writers and talk shows light the fuse because they know we’re eating it up. Why is it we like to see people fail; especially ones who experience success more than others? Perhaps it’s because their humanity shines through and they for about one hour, a week, perhaps a month, are just like us. They have emotions and it’s hard for them to hide it. So when we hear the voice mail from Tiger Woods telling his “girlfriend” to change his voice mail, we think back to a time when we felt we were going to get busted for something and tried to cover our ass. Unfortunately for the young icon, the girl rolled over on him, and not literally this time. It could be empathy.
Or maybe it’s because people enjoy the fall from grace. When Roger Clemens was in that courtroom everyone had something to say about it. When Mark McGwire was in front of congress talking about the future and not the past, everyone was saddened. Everyone has an opinion on what happened.
Then there’s the opposite. People like me who really don’t give a shit. I only write about it here because I just like to say shit about things.
I know I went on two topics but I think the point of the piece was, one, athletes should treat their fans better, and two, people care too much about what happens in athlete’s lives outside of the arena.
Carry on and as Ron says “high 5 to you today!”
M
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
HDH: TIGER hits birdies but not HAWKS, especially IRISH ones in THE WHITE HOUSE, near OPRAH and 54 lesbians on FAMILY TIES
Every Wednesday, I plan on hitting 7 things that I find fascinating and irritating in my Hump Day Humdrum. So let’s fire away for this first installment.
1-Tiger Woods may have hit eagle on his accident as he is to pay a small fine for the ticket issued to him, but perhaps scored double bogey when it comes to his personal life. A cocktail waitress named Jamiee Grubs has told Us Weekly she has 300 text messages, along with a voice message that appears on the website today; that proves she had an affair with the superstar golfer. Quite honestly, who gives a flying shit? I could care less if he went to a homeless shelter, and banged all the hobos and the help. Did he do a bad thing? Yes. Will we see him do a press conference sometime soon apologizing? Probably. People need to stop caring about this stupid shit so these dumb magazines like Us Weekly cease to exist. By the way Tiger, telling a woman to “go to the bathroom and take a picture” doesn’t sound like a smooth pickup line to me buddy.
2-11 Rounds of craziness last night lead to a 4-3 shootout victory by the Blackhawks. This season of hockey makes the “cold steel on ice” days look weak. This Blackhawks team controls the puck the majority of the time, and doesn’t allow the opposing team to score when they do get the puck often. The Hawks are averaging on goaltending 2.01 GAA between Huet and Niemmi, and averaging 24 shots against them so defensively they are holding their own. I can’t wait to see them play Pittsburgh which in my opinion will be a measuring stick to see what this team can really do. They already beat San Jose twice, who supposedly can be named the best team in hockey. I would love to see HOSSA make Sid the kid puke his lunch out and Toews and Kane do a one two punch on Malkin. It would be sweet considering the Pengs have always had a dark place in my heart thanks to the Stanley Cup in 91.
3-I don’t know about you, but why anyone gives a shit about Norte Dame is beyond me. First off, they’re almost 100 miles away from Chicago. They’re Irish! So what? First off, why do they get a national contract with NBC when the team stinks like vinegar? Secondly, we have Illinois, DePaul, Northwestern, Loyola, many other schools to cheer for IN THIS STATE. Why do we even care what they do in South Bend? I don’t even want to talk about things I hear about people in Indiana. And as far as this Brian Kelly cat is concerned, if you leave Cincinnati to coach Norte Dame in whatever bowl game they qualify for, you sir are a douche bag. You have a group of boys depending on you to lead them into the promised land this year. How about finish what you started and worry about getting into the dog and pony show known as the Fighting Irish next year? By the way, Charlie Weis going to an NFL team? Could work. Phins? Sure we’ll take him as an OC.
4-Over the weekend, I saw a story about this reality couple crashing a White House party, scampering past the secret service, and taking pictures with a whole shit load of politicians and what not. The couple, Tareq and Michaele Salahi, who can be seen in the show “The Real Housewives of DC” says they were invited but the White House denies that. In fact, people involved said “no promises were made.” I find this whole thing amusing, but disturbing as well. What does it say about our secret service when two people just go waltzing into the most important building in America, undetected? It tells me we’re in deep shit because if they can do it, anyone can. Perhaps someone with an agenda, and not a good one at that.
5-So Oprah’s leaving TV and Chicago? Too bad so sad!!! Perhaps pictures may surface of her and Tiger playing a little game of “putt putt.” Who knows?
6-“I hate the way our identity has changed.” No, that wasn’t Chastity or Chaz Bono talking about her latest adventure. It was Brian Urlacher, INJURED Linebacker on your Chicago Bears taking shots at Jay Cutler…again. He talks about how the run game was better when Broncos QB Kyle Orton was at the helm. Of course, he told USA Today that he wasn’t taking shots at Cutler, but wasn’t it at the beginning of the season when the word pussy was flying around to describe Cutler by one number 54. To me, this is a simple one, Urlacher for many years was “the man” in Chicago. Now, a franchise QB has arrived and the star of the teams shine had dulled down a little bit. After all, Urlacher is getting older and slower. The defense of the Bears has declined year after year, but Cutler brings a new future for this team. It’s just a shame that coordinators and coaches have found ways to screw it up. However, it comes down to one word for Mr. Brian Urlacher in regards to Jay Cutler, ENVY! Cutler will be known as the guy who turned around the Bears if and when it happens. Urlacher will be known as a pro bowl linebacker who did a hell of a job. Perhaps, he should know his role and shut his mouth and follow the cue of one of the WWE wrestlers he has known to follow over the years.
7-And finally, Zwecker is reporting in the Sun Times today that Meredith Baxter who played Elyse Keaton AKA Michael J. Fox’s mom in Family Ties is going to be coming out of the closet today, a source close to the actress says. Yes, she is going on record to say she’s a lesbian. First, she was married THREE times so that should say that penis isn’t working for her. And secondly, she isn’t just coming out of the closet; she is coming out from under the rock. Where has this woman been since Family Ties? I guess it’s a slow news day for Zweck.
7 for 7 on Wednesday are with the Hump Day Humdrum. Catch it here every week. Hope you enjoyed and if you didn’t, smoke pot and then read it. The only problem is you may be too stoned to bother reading the damn article.
M
1-Tiger Woods may have hit eagle on his accident as he is to pay a small fine for the ticket issued to him, but perhaps scored double bogey when it comes to his personal life. A cocktail waitress named Jamiee Grubs has told Us Weekly she has 300 text messages, along with a voice message that appears on the website today; that proves she had an affair with the superstar golfer. Quite honestly, who gives a flying shit? I could care less if he went to a homeless shelter, and banged all the hobos and the help. Did he do a bad thing? Yes. Will we see him do a press conference sometime soon apologizing? Probably. People need to stop caring about this stupid shit so these dumb magazines like Us Weekly cease to exist. By the way Tiger, telling a woman to “go to the bathroom and take a picture” doesn’t sound like a smooth pickup line to me buddy.
2-11 Rounds of craziness last night lead to a 4-3 shootout victory by the Blackhawks. This season of hockey makes the “cold steel on ice” days look weak. This Blackhawks team controls the puck the majority of the time, and doesn’t allow the opposing team to score when they do get the puck often. The Hawks are averaging on goaltending 2.01 GAA between Huet and Niemmi, and averaging 24 shots against them so defensively they are holding their own. I can’t wait to see them play Pittsburgh which in my opinion will be a measuring stick to see what this team can really do. They already beat San Jose twice, who supposedly can be named the best team in hockey. I would love to see HOSSA make Sid the kid puke his lunch out and Toews and Kane do a one two punch on Malkin. It would be sweet considering the Pengs have always had a dark place in my heart thanks to the Stanley Cup in 91.
3-I don’t know about you, but why anyone gives a shit about Norte Dame is beyond me. First off, they’re almost 100 miles away from Chicago. They’re Irish! So what? First off, why do they get a national contract with NBC when the team stinks like vinegar? Secondly, we have Illinois, DePaul, Northwestern, Loyola, many other schools to cheer for IN THIS STATE. Why do we even care what they do in South Bend? I don’t even want to talk about things I hear about people in Indiana. And as far as this Brian Kelly cat is concerned, if you leave Cincinnati to coach Norte Dame in whatever bowl game they qualify for, you sir are a douche bag. You have a group of boys depending on you to lead them into the promised land this year. How about finish what you started and worry about getting into the dog and pony show known as the Fighting Irish next year? By the way, Charlie Weis going to an NFL team? Could work. Phins? Sure we’ll take him as an OC.
4-Over the weekend, I saw a story about this reality couple crashing a White House party, scampering past the secret service, and taking pictures with a whole shit load of politicians and what not. The couple, Tareq and Michaele Salahi, who can be seen in the show “The Real Housewives of DC” says they were invited but the White House denies that. In fact, people involved said “no promises were made.” I find this whole thing amusing, but disturbing as well. What does it say about our secret service when two people just go waltzing into the most important building in America, undetected? It tells me we’re in deep shit because if they can do it, anyone can. Perhaps someone with an agenda, and not a good one at that.
5-So Oprah’s leaving TV and Chicago? Too bad so sad!!! Perhaps pictures may surface of her and Tiger playing a little game of “putt putt.” Who knows?
6-“I hate the way our identity has changed.” No, that wasn’t Chastity or Chaz Bono talking about her latest adventure. It was Brian Urlacher, INJURED Linebacker on your Chicago Bears taking shots at Jay Cutler…again. He talks about how the run game was better when Broncos QB Kyle Orton was at the helm. Of course, he told USA Today that he wasn’t taking shots at Cutler, but wasn’t it at the beginning of the season when the word pussy was flying around to describe Cutler by one number 54. To me, this is a simple one, Urlacher for many years was “the man” in Chicago. Now, a franchise QB has arrived and the star of the teams shine had dulled down a little bit. After all, Urlacher is getting older and slower. The defense of the Bears has declined year after year, but Cutler brings a new future for this team. It’s just a shame that coordinators and coaches have found ways to screw it up. However, it comes down to one word for Mr. Brian Urlacher in regards to Jay Cutler, ENVY! Cutler will be known as the guy who turned around the Bears if and when it happens. Urlacher will be known as a pro bowl linebacker who did a hell of a job. Perhaps, he should know his role and shut his mouth and follow the cue of one of the WWE wrestlers he has known to follow over the years.
7-And finally, Zwecker is reporting in the Sun Times today that Meredith Baxter who played Elyse Keaton AKA Michael J. Fox’s mom in Family Ties is going to be coming out of the closet today, a source close to the actress says. Yes, she is going on record to say she’s a lesbian. First, she was married THREE times so that should say that penis isn’t working for her. And secondly, she isn’t just coming out of the closet; she is coming out from under the rock. Where has this woman been since Family Ties? I guess it’s a slow news day for Zweck.
7 for 7 on Wednesday are with the Hump Day Humdrum. Catch it here every week. Hope you enjoyed and if you didn’t, smoke pot and then read it. The only problem is you may be too stoned to bother reading the damn article.
M
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
A Golden Night for Brees and Company
Ladies and gentlemen, Monday night football this season has not been so slouchy. We have seen many great games. The two Miami games I thought were excellent, as well as the New England/Buffalo game, and who can forget the New Orleans/Atlanta game.
But last nights beating the Patriots (or gaytriots as I like to refer to them) by the New Orleans Saints was simply fantastic.
Forget about the fact New England may be one of my most hated franchises in sports, you simply watch how the Saints decimated the defense, it was absolutely amazing. I have never seen any team in this decade just embarrass the Patriots playing straight up man to man football. Sure the Phins did it last year, but they used the wildcat and no one in football saw that coming. What the Saints did last night was just pure football poetry.
Drew Brees the captain of the ship, 5 TD 371 yards and a passer rating of 158.1, looked absolutely stunning last night. When New Orleans made the first field goal of the game, and then New England scored the touchdown followed up by a Wes Welker 41yard punt return, I was depressed because I thought to myself, "here we go again, same New England high powered offense going to overpower the Saints." Boy was I wrong.
A play later, Mike Mckenzie, a cornerback who was last seen in a Saints uniform with a torn ACL, returned to the team just this past week to intercept a pass from Tom Brady intended for Randy Moss. This game was the tale of two interceptions. There was the one by Mckenzie which was the game changing play (which led to a TD pass to Pierre Thomas) and there was as Kevin Harlan excitedly exclaimed on Westwood One Radio "the dagger" by Darren Sharper. Drew Brees was blowing off fireworks, while we were sitting on blankets and watching the fireworks he provided. Brees hit five different receivers in his award winning performance. It wasn't that the Patriots D was that horrendous. It came down to the fact that Brees has great presence in the pocket and of course a great line protecting him. If you're a Saints receiver, he will find you, and by this, he exposed lots of holes in the Patriots defense.
Drew Brees said that his team looked up to the Patriots as the team they want to be. Now Brees, the captain of the team who might be able to close the deal and be the only other team since the 1972 Dolphins to run the table on the entire season. It will be Tom Brady looking up to him. Brees was his daddy all night long.
So what’s the footnote in all of this? Well two things.
First, let’s get to the minor point in my world. When Minnesota and New Orleans paths cross, it will be the game of the year, possibly the decade. These two teams evenly matched (except Favre’s the dinosaur who drinks lots of Gatorade or something). You have a great receiving corps on both sides, and perhaps the best pass rusher in football Jared Allen on the side of the Vikings. It will be the NFC version of Patriots v Colts.
And speaking of the Patsies, next week they make the trip to South Florida. One of two things will happen. The first, the Patsies will be angry and pissed off, and take it all out on the Dolphins destroying them by 3 to 4 touchdowns. Perhaps a win can lock up the AFC East for them as they’re done playing the Jets, and I wouldn't look to New England to go on a big losing streak. In fact in the last 7 seasons, it has only happened twice when they have gone back to back loses. Once in 2002 against Green Bay and Denver (bye week in between), and in 2006 against Indy and the Jets. Can it be done? Can the Phins topple the humbled Patriots? Belichick looked very choked, Moss didn't know what to say, and Tom Brady looked absolutely stoic. They all said that they weren't the team they thought they were. Perhaps has a little bit of confidence been shattered? Can the Dolphins capitalize on this?
Let's see; your main running back injured, nose tackle injured, two rookie corners, no main nose tackle, no play making wide receiver, just got beat down by the Buffalo Bills in the last quarter...I would have to say the Phins are David going up against Goliath.
But nevertheless, the Dolphins have something to prove. They’re the victims of embarrassment not because the Bills defense sliced and diced them like the Saints did to the Pats. They allowed themselves to get beat due to poor play calling, and letting a bad team stay in the game on their turf. The Phins had many opportunities to put it away, but they failed. Will they be looking at this game as a way to make up for a bad division loss, and erasing it with a magical divisional victory? You bet your ass. That’s why I believe the Phins can do it in south Florida against a battered New England Patriots team. At least I hope they can, because if they don't, it’s closing time.
As for the Saints, would I like to see them go undefeated? Well, they’re more likable than the 07 Patriots, but there's only room for one team in "Perfectville." Unfortunately, with the remaining games on the New Orleans schedule, Sean Payton and company might as well go to a U-Haul dealer and rent a truck to move in.
But last nights beating the Patriots (or gaytriots as I like to refer to them) by the New Orleans Saints was simply fantastic.
Forget about the fact New England may be one of my most hated franchises in sports, you simply watch how the Saints decimated the defense, it was absolutely amazing. I have never seen any team in this decade just embarrass the Patriots playing straight up man to man football. Sure the Phins did it last year, but they used the wildcat and no one in football saw that coming. What the Saints did last night was just pure football poetry.
Drew Brees the captain of the ship, 5 TD 371 yards and a passer rating of 158.1, looked absolutely stunning last night. When New Orleans made the first field goal of the game, and then New England scored the touchdown followed up by a Wes Welker 41yard punt return, I was depressed because I thought to myself, "here we go again, same New England high powered offense going to overpower the Saints." Boy was I wrong.
A play later, Mike Mckenzie, a cornerback who was last seen in a Saints uniform with a torn ACL, returned to the team just this past week to intercept a pass from Tom Brady intended for Randy Moss. This game was the tale of two interceptions. There was the one by Mckenzie which was the game changing play (which led to a TD pass to Pierre Thomas) and there was as Kevin Harlan excitedly exclaimed on Westwood One Radio "the dagger" by Darren Sharper. Drew Brees was blowing off fireworks, while we were sitting on blankets and watching the fireworks he provided. Brees hit five different receivers in his award winning performance. It wasn't that the Patriots D was that horrendous. It came down to the fact that Brees has great presence in the pocket and of course a great line protecting him. If you're a Saints receiver, he will find you, and by this, he exposed lots of holes in the Patriots defense.
Drew Brees said that his team looked up to the Patriots as the team they want to be. Now Brees, the captain of the team who might be able to close the deal and be the only other team since the 1972 Dolphins to run the table on the entire season. It will be Tom Brady looking up to him. Brees was his daddy all night long.
So what’s the footnote in all of this? Well two things.
First, let’s get to the minor point in my world. When Minnesota and New Orleans paths cross, it will be the game of the year, possibly the decade. These two teams evenly matched (except Favre’s the dinosaur who drinks lots of Gatorade or something). You have a great receiving corps on both sides, and perhaps the best pass rusher in football Jared Allen on the side of the Vikings. It will be the NFC version of Patriots v Colts.
And speaking of the Patsies, next week they make the trip to South Florida. One of two things will happen. The first, the Patsies will be angry and pissed off, and take it all out on the Dolphins destroying them by 3 to 4 touchdowns. Perhaps a win can lock up the AFC East for them as they’re done playing the Jets, and I wouldn't look to New England to go on a big losing streak. In fact in the last 7 seasons, it has only happened twice when they have gone back to back loses. Once in 2002 against Green Bay and Denver (bye week in between), and in 2006 against Indy and the Jets. Can it be done? Can the Phins topple the humbled Patriots? Belichick looked very choked, Moss didn't know what to say, and Tom Brady looked absolutely stoic. They all said that they weren't the team they thought they were. Perhaps has a little bit of confidence been shattered? Can the Dolphins capitalize on this?
Let's see; your main running back injured, nose tackle injured, two rookie corners, no main nose tackle, no play making wide receiver, just got beat down by the Buffalo Bills in the last quarter...I would have to say the Phins are David going up against Goliath.
But nevertheless, the Dolphins have something to prove. They’re the victims of embarrassment not because the Bills defense sliced and diced them like the Saints did to the Pats. They allowed themselves to get beat due to poor play calling, and letting a bad team stay in the game on their turf. The Phins had many opportunities to put it away, but they failed. Will they be looking at this game as a way to make up for a bad division loss, and erasing it with a magical divisional victory? You bet your ass. That’s why I believe the Phins can do it in south Florida against a battered New England Patriots team. At least I hope they can, because if they don't, it’s closing time.
As for the Saints, would I like to see them go undefeated? Well, they’re more likable than the 07 Patriots, but there's only room for one team in "Perfectville." Unfortunately, with the remaining games on the New Orleans schedule, Sean Payton and company might as well go to a U-Haul dealer and rent a truck to move in.
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