Ladies and gentlemen, get your engines started. Mike C has come to play. Are you ready?
1-The White Sox took a walk off the plank and decided the first move they’re making at Winter Meetings would be, well, you know that guy, Mark Teahen, the next project that KW signed that happened to be wearing the bright blue uniforms from KC. Yeah, they’re going to lock him up for 3 years at 14 mil. Everyone in town has been dogging this guy, but I have a feeling it might work out. You can never go wrong when you bring a guy on the team who does Tweeter as if he was his dog.
2-While we’re on the subject on the White Sox, I find it very scary that our super setup guy Matty Thornton says he has a bromance with free agent J.J. Putz from their days back in Seattle, and he is pushing hard to get him on the team. Putz was the closer a couple years back for the M’s, and then got traded to the Mets, where he spent most of the season on the DL. I wonder if Matty was there to give him a foot massage. Don’t people get thrown out of windows for that shit?
3-Here’s one more piece of White Sox fodder for you from the Winter Meetings in case you haven’t heard. There are two huge trade rumors you should know about if you don’t already. First, Godzilla may be coming to Chicago. The New York Daily Reports that the World Series MVP Hideki Matsui has garnered interest from our fine feathered team (whoops that would be the Hawks) and the Angels. As far as I’m concerned they owe us one after Hunter, so back off Tony Reagins. And don’t forget, Carl Crawford may be coming here for Quentin and/or Jenks. Fun stuff. Gotta love them winter meetings.
4-For all the Lady Gaga haters out there, this one’s for you. She is whacked out, but come on, tell me you can’t get enough of it. You never know what she is going to do next. From her crazy outfits to killing herself on stage at the MTV, she is unpredictable and she sells records. Her music, well it’s OK. Pokerface is a fun little number. In fact my daughter loves it.
5-And now a message to Governor Bobby Jindal of the great state of Louisana. “My dear sir, I know your city hasn’t had the greatest decade, but I see your football team is kicking serious ass. That beating they gave the Gaytriots was sweet. However, you just made the statement that the New Orleans Saints would go undefeated, not just in the regular season but in the Superbowl. Something that has never been done before.” You know sir, I know you have advisors and shit like that, but didn’t anyone tell you that the Miami Dolphins in 1972 ran the table from start to finish? So yeah, your boys may have beaten the Dolphins this year, but they will be Amerigo Verspucci to our Christopher Columbus. So put that in your pipe and smoke it. OH and by the way, thank you for your time and have a nice day.”
6-The Tiger Woods tabloid machine continues on as a woman named Mindy Lawton claims that her and the champion golfer had sex countless amounts of times for a year while she worked at Perkins. Really Tiger, come on. You banged a waitress that worked at Perkins? I heard that the waitresses at Dennys don’t spit at least. I’m sorry that was in poor taste, and if you have seen the picture, so was Tiger’s. He lived up to Nike’s slogan of “just do it” in this particular case.
7-And finally, let me say this for the record, Joakim Noah is my guy. BUT, dude you need to take some chill pills. Calling out Lebron James for his dancing, yeah that was pretty cool. However I don’t get the throwing the ball off the court and shit. I know that things are really shitty lately, but you got to chill out man. Kick it like Artest and drink Hennessy before the game.
And that’s the hump day humdrum for today. Have a good day and drive carefully on those roads.
M
No comments:
Post a Comment