Every Wednesday, I plan on hitting 7 things that I find fascinating and irritating in my Hump Day Humdrum. So let’s fire away for this first installment.
1-Tiger Woods may have hit eagle on his accident as he is to pay a small fine for the ticket issued to him, but perhaps scored double bogey when it comes to his personal life. A cocktail waitress named Jamiee Grubs has told Us Weekly she has 300 text messages, along with a voice message that appears on the website today; that proves she had an affair with the superstar golfer. Quite honestly, who gives a flying shit? I could care less if he went to a homeless shelter, and banged all the hobos and the help. Did he do a bad thing? Yes. Will we see him do a press conference sometime soon apologizing? Probably. People need to stop caring about this stupid shit so these dumb magazines like Us Weekly cease to exist. By the way Tiger, telling a woman to “go to the bathroom and take a picture” doesn’t sound like a smooth pickup line to me buddy.
2-11 Rounds of craziness last night lead to a 4-3 shootout victory by the Blackhawks. This season of hockey makes the “cold steel on ice” days look weak. This Blackhawks team controls the puck the majority of the time, and doesn’t allow the opposing team to score when they do get the puck often. The Hawks are averaging on goaltending 2.01 GAA between Huet and Niemmi, and averaging 24 shots against them so defensively they are holding their own. I can’t wait to see them play Pittsburgh which in my opinion will be a measuring stick to see what this team can really do. They already beat San Jose twice, who supposedly can be named the best team in hockey. I would love to see HOSSA make Sid the kid puke his lunch out and Toews and Kane do a one two punch on Malkin. It would be sweet considering the Pengs have always had a dark place in my heart thanks to the Stanley Cup in 91.
3-I don’t know about you, but why anyone gives a shit about Norte Dame is beyond me. First off, they’re almost 100 miles away from Chicago. They’re Irish! So what? First off, why do they get a national contract with NBC when the team stinks like vinegar? Secondly, we have Illinois, DePaul, Northwestern, Loyola, many other schools to cheer for IN THIS STATE. Why do we even care what they do in South Bend? I don’t even want to talk about things I hear about people in Indiana. And as far as this Brian Kelly cat is concerned, if you leave Cincinnati to coach Norte Dame in whatever bowl game they qualify for, you sir are a douche bag. You have a group of boys depending on you to lead them into the promised land this year. How about finish what you started and worry about getting into the dog and pony show known as the Fighting Irish next year? By the way, Charlie Weis going to an NFL team? Could work. Phins? Sure we’ll take him as an OC.
4-Over the weekend, I saw a story about this reality couple crashing a White House party, scampering past the secret service, and taking pictures with a whole shit load of politicians and what not. The couple, Tareq and Michaele Salahi, who can be seen in the show “The Real Housewives of DC” says they were invited but the White House denies that. In fact, people involved said “no promises were made.” I find this whole thing amusing, but disturbing as well. What does it say about our secret service when two people just go waltzing into the most important building in America, undetected? It tells me we’re in deep shit because if they can do it, anyone can. Perhaps someone with an agenda, and not a good one at that.
5-So Oprah’s leaving TV and Chicago? Too bad so sad!!! Perhaps pictures may surface of her and Tiger playing a little game of “putt putt.” Who knows?
6-“I hate the way our identity has changed.” No, that wasn’t Chastity or Chaz Bono talking about her latest adventure. It was Brian Urlacher, INJURED Linebacker on your Chicago Bears taking shots at Jay Cutler…again. He talks about how the run game was better when Broncos QB Kyle Orton was at the helm. Of course, he told USA Today that he wasn’t taking shots at Cutler, but wasn’t it at the beginning of the season when the word pussy was flying around to describe Cutler by one number 54. To me, this is a simple one, Urlacher for many years was “the man” in Chicago. Now, a franchise QB has arrived and the star of the teams shine had dulled down a little bit. After all, Urlacher is getting older and slower. The defense of the Bears has declined year after year, but Cutler brings a new future for this team. It’s just a shame that coordinators and coaches have found ways to screw it up. However, it comes down to one word for Mr. Brian Urlacher in regards to Jay Cutler, ENVY! Cutler will be known as the guy who turned around the Bears if and when it happens. Urlacher will be known as a pro bowl linebacker who did a hell of a job. Perhaps, he should know his role and shut his mouth and follow the cue of one of the WWE wrestlers he has known to follow over the years.
7-And finally, Zwecker is reporting in the Sun Times today that Meredith Baxter who played Elyse Keaton AKA Michael J. Fox’s mom in Family Ties is going to be coming out of the closet today, a source close to the actress says. Yes, she is going on record to say she’s a lesbian. First, she was married THREE times so that should say that penis isn’t working for her. And secondly, she isn’t just coming out of the closet; she is coming out from under the rock. Where has this woman been since Family Ties? I guess it’s a slow news day for Zweck.
7 for 7 on Wednesday are with the Hump Day Humdrum. Catch it here every week. Hope you enjoyed and if you didn’t, smoke pot and then read it. The only problem is you may be too stoned to bother reading the damn article.
M
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