The Two Comebackers!!!

Total awesomeness in the world of sports lately…

Uno-Congrats to Udonis Haslem. 13 points and 5 rebounds. Not too bad for a guy who sat on the sidelines for most of the season. His contributions contributed to a huge victory for the Heat as they evened up the series, and took away home court advantage from the Bulls.

Due-Charles Barkley called Dirk Nowitzki, the white mamba. Didn’t Stacy King call Derrick Rose the white mamba a few months back? Why does anyone listen to Charles Barkley anyway? He can’t swing a golf club.

Tre-What the hell is going on with the Sharks? Are you going to allow yourselves to get swept again in the Eastern Conference Finals? Niemi says no!!!! Come on guys get your shit together. You got rid of the scumbags, not take out the Canadian trash.

Quattro-I still can’t believe the Washington Redskins sign Donovan Mcnabb, bench him, give him an extension, bench him again, play Rex Grossman, let Rex Grossman walk, and then Mike Shanahan announces that John Beck will be the starter. In the meantime, Grossman who is a free agent says he is expecting to start with the Redskins this year, and Donovan Mcnabb says he wants to play with the Nationals. What position? I’m telling you there is so much weirdness going on in Washington; perhaps Snyder should sell the team.

Sei-This book about ESPN keeps getting better and better. No one liked Tony Kornheiser on Monday Night Football, but apparently Mike Tirrico didn’t like him on it. Here is an excerpt from the book about their relations on the show:

Tony Kornheiser: Early on together I said, "Mike you know what really works well on PTI is when Mike and I talk over each other -" and he cut me off right there and says, "That's a nice little studio show, but MNF is very important, so don't ever interrupt me when I'm talking."... for two years he didn't even look at me.

Wow! No wonder he failed. Teams work better than individuals. Hey remember that failed radio show Tirrico had on ESPN radio that Scott Van Pelt took over?

Sette-And finally, Jake Peavy, you are the man. Yes, I was not happy to listen to you slam yourself for your last pitching performance. However, after Wednesdays complete game shutout with only 3 hits allowed, I am willing to listen to you, you big bulldog you.

Pinsiero finale-Read my thoughts about the “Rapture” and “5-21-11: Judgment Day” tomorrow. You won’t be disappointed.

I Like the White Sox: Any Which Way But Lose

White Sox fans. The unholy red faced funny guys are headed into our house and we must find a way to defeat them. With the newly found Masterson talent, and that Carmona guy who was rocked on opening day but has gone back to the talent he was before that, we can only hope to limit their issues. However, I have thought of other ways to help. And I will list them here today.

1-I believe it is in Oney Guillen’s best interest to make up his wrongs with this team with the use of the wonderful Twitter. Oney should find a way to get O-Cab to go out with him and get him blasted. We can only hope that O-Cab’s behavior will result in the behavior of another Cabrera guy earlier in the year.

2-Can anyone find a hooker for Grady Sizemore, and a camera? Does anyone remember number 24’s love of cameras a few years ago?. Then again, we won’t have to face him so no biggie.

3-Perhaps if we kidnap Carlos Santana, and replace with him the guitar icon, he can make beautiful music. Just won’t be able to hit, which would be good for us.

4-How about Southpaw gives Shin Soo Choo instructions out of the park? Choo likes getting directions from people, especially cops.

5-Do you think Kerry Wood is really happy with the Cubs? I remember him with the Indians. Can we have that back here please?

6-Where did Travis Haffner come from? You would think he was on the decline but his numbers suggest otherwise. I don’t know what to do with that dude, unless you give him lots of Lemonheads. You can’t eat too many Lemonheads. It makes your face pucker up. I honestly don’t know, but the boy has to be cooled off somehow. Put Exlax in his Gatorade. Do something. I don’t know. Can we strike him out? Hope so.

7-Perhaps this doesn’t help too much, but does anyone ask the question I ask as in a great movie “who the fuck are these guys?” I am sure Tadahito Iguchi is somewhere in Japan saying “they’re shitty.”

Yes, we have two games to win against the first place opponent. We need to knock them down, step on their throats, and then welcome them back again so we can beat them again. Although, Detroit is the one team in my opinion we should be concerned with, Cleveland is on top of the mountain and as an ancient philosopher said once “to be the man, you have to beat the man. Wooooooo.” Or perhaps ancient wrestler who should retire already, take your pick.

Cheers.

Bouncing Back

So shall we get on with it…

Uno-Brent Morel you are the man. Here I am on a Tuesday night thinking that the White Sox had blown it again. Sure enough, your spectacular defense and game tying home run shut me up. I was so happy the Sox won yesterday, and we need to see them take two victories from the smiling red face stone rods.

Due-Cubs baseball? Ha! It’s fantastic but I am gaining some respect for my rival fans. Many of them are not showing up to games anymore. Good for you. The one so called silly ass calling card you had on Sox fans is now being thrown out the window. You shouldn’t support a team who doesn’t give you hope for the season, especially if it’s based on bad moves by the team.

Tre-This new book about the folks in Bristol has to be good. I read the excerpt about Keith Olberman in GQ, and there is some great stuff there. I think that is hilarious that the slogan for Sportscenter was born out of Olberman’s discontent for anything corporate. I will be reading this book when it comes out, no question about it.

Quattro-I have to say something about the Tampa Bay Lightning here. I am really impressed by this team’s heart. After beating the Penguins and the Capitals, they take a 1-0 lead on the Bruins and almost come back and beat them last night. I am definitely rooting for this team not because they are from Florida, but I love the little engine that could, as long as they are not playing any of my teams.

Cinque-Back to the White Sox, Masterson and Carmona are going to be tough, but the Sox have to win. That is all.

Sei-Speaking about the term having to win, Miami Heat I am looking at you. Please play your asses off and get yourselves a W to make up for that abortion of a basketball game Sunday.

Sette-My hat is off to the Bulls. Although I have the Heat as my favorites, nothing against the Bulls. I like them, I think D-Rose is unbelievable and had Wade or Lebron went to Chicago, chances are they would have been my team. However when you take two of my favorite basketball players, combine them in the same place, and that place happens to be one of the four cities I wish I could move to, how can I not? (Orlando, Tampa, and Oahu are the other 3)

Pinsiero finale-I have to admit, the whole Judgment Day is happening this Saturday thing is fascinating to me. Why? I will discuss on Friday. It will be something you will want to read because not only will it have my crazy opinions, but hopefully you will get something out of it.

Confessions From the Bandwagon: All Heated Up

OK I have calmed down since last night, but I am still angry.

I may have no right to be since I wasn’t a fan of the Heat back in the day, but I am one now and the way you guys played yesterday was completely inexcusable. So I have seven things to say to you guys moving forward to game 2.

1-Remember this is what you guys talked about back at the AAA over the summer. The championships. If you expect to win championships not playing strong defense, or sacrificing yourself for the team, you will not succeed. You talked about 1-2-3-4 titles.; Where from where I am sitting, if I see another game like I saw on Sunday, not only will I puke, but you will lose.

2-Don’t blame the bench Dwyane when you score less than 20 points and less than 30 combined with Lebron. You guys need to step up and act like the leaders you’re supposed to be. You let Taj Gibson dunk on you dude. Taj fricking Gibson. No one knew who he was until he plastered your candy ass buddy. What the hell happened since Boston where you guys decided to take a dump?

3-Boston may have been a stepping point Lebron, but the guy who put together the defense to stun you is right there on the bench in Chicago. You not only need to surpass Tom Thibodeau, but you need to pass the Bulls to get to the one that matters. The way the Boston game ended, I hope you knew that was not the end, because by the play in the second half you could have fooled us. When you were on one knee, did you think the ride was over? It ends when you have the trophy!

4-Chris Bosh, nice job. Show up like that throughout this series and Boozer doesn’t have a chance. You just need to tell your two boys to show up as well.

5-Do you hear it? Let me spell it out for you…

This just in bulls spank the heat woo! There goes lebron not givin the fourth courter again!"

"It has to piss you off watching the heat just give up and not care!"

"Thats 1."

How about them Bulls??? LOL"

"Well thank you! Especially that Mike called me yesterday and started talking some shit! BOOYAH BITCH!"

"The Miami HYPE!!!"

"did Lebron even play tonight"

"Hahahahahahahaha..that is all:) "

"Great win no question, but its only one. Stay focused and rip this fake team to shreds"

"hmmmm....... ok ill hold back and comments until game 2"

"Is that Lebron's diarrhea after a bad salad. lol"

"The heat just got ramed harder than a Cubs fan on halsted street!"

“12>3”

The world is laughing at you, especially in Chicago. That was my Facebook account last night. Well some of it. Some people really need to work on spelling. Do we prove these stoners right, or do we make hay and kick ass on game 2? They played like they wanted it, do you want it or what guys?

6-Derrick Rose is the MVP, not God. He can be stopped. Figure it out. You had him shut down at 8 points at the end of the half, what happened? You pretty much had the team playing your type of game and if you guys can’t find a way to get more offensive rebounds and second chance points, how the hell do you think you will win?

7-This is the most important. The Bulls lose, its not a failure. No one expected them to get this far. They have nothing to prove. The Heat, epic failure is the Bulls eliminate them. Sure the Bulls are the one seed with the MVP, but you guys set the pace with the celebration. You guys set the pace with the signings. You guys came together with the goal of winning a championship, not beating Boston.

I am a fan of the team, and I will stand by you, as well as the majority of South Florida as well. Make us proud to support you. Even if you lose, play to win and we’ll never hold it against you. Play like you did last night, just walk off the court and forfeit.

You beat the Celtics, great! We’re all happy you did. Beat the Bulls and make us ecstatic.

Thank you.

I Like the White Sox: Fixodent and Forget It

So what a difference a week makes?

Can I see that play? Can I? Can I? I fell asleep and same on me.

I can’t believe the White Sox won last night. It had to be due to that Jake Peavy guy right?

Anyways, I am in a much better mood now and I can write with a smile on my face. The Sox are 4-2 on this road trip and are slowly crawling back into the race. I don’t want to be too optimistic, but I am happy about the quality of play lately.

Here are seven things the Sox must have done or happened to explain this winning road record (so far, the house of horrors is next.)

1-Alexei Ramirez must have made a trip back to Cuba. There he found Pedro Cerrano and brought a bucket of live chicken out to the west coast, or stopped an the In and Out whichever comes first.

2-Omar Vizquel called upon the spirit of Nellie Fox to see if he could borrow his number instead for better luck. Nellie said no way, so in order to spite the superstar, Omar played better.

3-Jake Peavy pitched and his body is still in one piece. Sure, he’s mad about the runs allowed, but dude, you’re healthy. Stop it!

4-Gordon Beckham thought it may be safe to follow the tradition of Derrick Rose and eat lots of gummy bears before game time. He looks like the type of guy who likes gummy bears. Anyway, he seems to be doing better.

5-I agree, Paul Konerko got some loco legs like they have in the Fresh Beat Band. It’s a show on Nick Jr that my daughter watches. It is quite weird.

6-Adam Dunn decided it was time to stop being a donkey and become a horse. Once he becomes a stallion, we will be right behind you red faced smiling jerkwads.

7-Johnny Danks went to church and prayed that one, the world doesn’t end next Saturday, unless he can get a win. And while he was there, he prayed for that said win.

Final thought: I like how the Sox are playing a hell of a lot better than last time I wrote. I will take my daughter to a game now. It was like you don’t want to take your daughter to a pile of mud that you know is going to become something great. Keep it up and don’t stop now boys.

CONFESSIONS FROM THE BANDWAGON: 8 Games Away

So hail hail to the Miami Heat, who have exorcised the demon known as the Boston Celtics. See, I have had this little thing in my head. The Beatles had the Magical Mystery Tour, so our “Heatles” have the Magical Revenge Tour.

By dispatching the Celtics out of the race, we have now completed phase one of the MRT. The Celtics as you know were 1-3 against our boys this past season. So it is only fitting you reverse those numbers and add one to display the record of the post season. The second stop is Chicago as they beat us by three narrow margins this past season, and then the final destination would be a rematch of the 2006 Finals against the team who beat the Heat twice this year, the Dallas Mavericks.

Since we need to focus on the task at hand, let’s talk about the Bulls. Of course they have to get past Atlanta but I can’t them losing that series. I have seven reasons why besides the obvious primary reason to get to the finals duh, the Heat must defeat the Bulls.

1-All this talk about Dwyane Wade being a traitor to Chicago. Seriously, we don’t call south Florida Miami Wade County for nothing. This is D-Wade’s team. Did the Bulls really think they had a chance at flash? Many Bulls fans are talking about how D-Wade washed up. Well, maybe not all, but the most I come in contact with are. I live out this way, so I hear it everyday. In the meantime, I still proclaim the Heat as the next great dynasty.

2-Sure Rose you got the MVP. Good job. However, Wade and James are not in this to win MVP trophies. There are here for one reason, to win the NBA Championship Trophy.

3-James Jones or Luol Deng, who would you rather see hit that 3? Once again, winning the 3 point shooter contest is all well and good, but let’s get that trophy.

4-I remember during a regular season, the Bull fans laughed at Chris Bosh suffering a small ankle injury during the first game. Wouldn’t it be nice to see Bosh pull a couple of triple doubles during the series, in Chicago?

5-Coach Tibbs won the coach of the year, and he was on the Celtics last year. Having said that, since we eliminated the Celtics, we need to kick the defensive mastermind square in the balls (not literally guys) but finding all the holes in the defense.

6-Joakim Noah said that Cleveland sucks and made jokes about going there on vacation. How many jokes can you make about going to Miami this time when you get spanked by Lebron?

7-And finally, Lebron is one of the cities that he turned down during the Decision. Therefore everyone is Chicago resorts to calling him Queen Lebron, Lebum, or the every popular simplistic bitch. Time to silence the critics baby!!!!

Final thought-This will be an exciting jaw dropping series. They need to find a way to take Rose completely out of the game, and put the ball in the hands of the other guys who have been inconsistent in the other playoff games. With a little of that Heat defense, we should be able to make life difficult for them, but this will be a tougher test than the Celtics. The Celtics had one guy playing with one arm, and were tired out. This Bulls team is ready to play ball. However, we need to shut them down and get four steps closer to that prize.

Next Saturday is the End?

So I just found out today, next Saturday will be the beginning of the apocalypse. The ones who follow God will be saved, and everyone else will survive and live in torment of the 5 months of hell as the World will be wiped out. Now I believe in God, and anyone who knows me knows Jesus is my hero in more ways than anyone can imagine, but if this is true, I think a few things will be ruined. They say seven is the holy number so I guess I’m on the right track.

Uno-We need to see the Bulls and Heat play each other in the playoffs, because everyone knows the Heat will kick ass. God hopefully is a fan of basketball, and seeing as this series will be a slobber knocker, perhaps plans will be put off until later. Although I am sure we can watch the game in heaven.

Due-The White Sox are due to win the World Series this year. We need to witness the greatest sports turnaround ever in a single season.

Tre-I never want to see this, but don’t the Cubs have to win a World Series before this climatic event?

Quattro-Someone needs to break the record of an undefeated football season currently held by the 1972 Miami Dolphins. I would think it could be the 2011 Miami Dolphins, but we can dream, unless times up.

Cinque-If you ask Rex Ryan, he would tell you the Jets will win a superbowl. Having said that, I think this 5-21-11 thing could be for real.

Sei-Important reason: my kids need to go to school obviously. In fact, all my friend’s kids do too.

Sette-The Blackhawks need to win another cup.

Pinsiero finale-OK, a loving God may not wipe out the world, but the world is not a nice place. There are many corrupt, dirty people out there, and many bad things have happened. We have seen the goings on in churches, along with the claim that God left the church in ’88 and some 23 year period and quite frankly we have seen lots of bad things in churches. We also have been exposed to many tragedies and disasters as well. However, this is nothing new as things like this have been going on for years. The truth is the communication age has exposed us to our world more so than ever before. When something happens you hear about it instantly via Smartphone, twitter, etc. I honestly can say that I believe the passage in Mark (that is if you believe the Bible) about how no one knows when the end is coming. I agree.

If the end comes on 5-21-11, it will be a day after my birthday. And I can say, God has me penciled in. I am not perfect without sin, but you can only ask to have sin removed and learn from it.

Then again, who defines what sin is?

Too much stuff for you today. Apologies.

Whatever you do, live your life right, don’t hurt people, and if we can all be the compassionate person Jesus was, we’d all be better off.

M