So call me Mr. cranky pants because I’m in a shitty mood people.
1-First off congrats Ozzie Guillen. You single-handedly sent one of the best DHs in White Sox history to the enemy. Jim Thome now plays for the dreaded Minnesota Twins and will get paid the very expensive salary for one year of $1.5 million. I’m sure he would have taken less to play here, but no. Ozzie wants DH by committee. Jim Thome wouldn’t have gotten enough at bats. Come on Ozzie, that’s horseshit. Just admit that Thome doesn’t fit into your master plan. He would rather have two guys take on the DH role that have .650 OPS between them, one hasn’t bat over .250 in three years, and the other has had back surgery twice. Yes that would be Andruw Jones and Mark Kotsay. I guess he’s betting that Quentin, Rios, and Ramirez all return to top form. As far as Jim Thome goes, the man who was my friend is now my enemy. Prepare to be struck out by the White Sox pitching staff, who will have to be the ticket to October baseball this season. Please Kenny, tell me you’re not done yet.
2-To the Cubs, yes you signed Xavier Nady. Congrats to you as well. You have gone from a sucky team, to a less sucky team. I am so proud of you. Now, all you need is a pharmacist in the dugout to give Carlos Zambrano some Zoloft when he blows up again, a waterboy when the team gets mad at the Gatorade machi…scratch that. We wouldn’t want the poor lad to get hurt.
3-The Chicago Bears can’t find any coordinators. Everyone they interview, or attempt to interview decides to stay with their current team, or go join the Raiders. It’s a sad state of affairs when someone would rather work for the old, frail, and crazy Al Davis, rather than your “storied franchise” that has people lining up around the block to work for, at least Lovie Smith made that comment earlier in the month. “How are we going to convince someone to come here to coach the Chicago Bears, our offensive positions, defensive positions? Believe me, people will want to come here.” Oh yeah Lovie. They’re all sitting in their case at Hallas Hall waiting for Jerry to show up to get the job that they will lose in one year.
4-Brett Favre, you got your ass whipped on Sunday. You were beat up, picked off, and made to look like a fool. Who throws a ball when they have room to run for 5 yards or so? Brett does. Why? Because he is the king of the NFL. I seriously hope retire this time. If you’re not going to retire, then please make the decision in the next few days. I don’t need my Sportscenter infiltrated by your bullshit on a yearly basis. Sure, you’re the ironman. You’re the legend. You’re the immortal number 4. Do be a bitch. Make your decision early. If you come back, great. If not, spend time with that wife of yours who would like you home to do the dishes for once in your life.
5-On Sautrday night, I felt depressed due to the Vancouver Canucks drumming of the Chicago Blackhawks 5-1. What a piss poor effort. By then I find out they’re riding around Vancouver in a limo with their shirts off and other weird shit. If this happened before the game on Friday, well that explains a lot. I am sure everyone on the team applauds the actions of these stoners. I would also like to include that it’s a good thing a limo took them around town, because we’ve seen how Patrick Kane deals with cab drivers.
6-Andre Dawson will be wearing a Montreal Expos hat when he enters the Hall of Fame. Yeah, that’s right Cub fans. The Expos were a great team for one, and two, the hall doesn’t want the Cubs or Ron Santo. Go ahead Cub Fans, bring up Fisk. He had one of the biggest moments in the playoffs as a Red Sock, hence the real he went in as a Red Sock. And ofcourse, Ron Schueler screwed him over as well. I am sure Fisk had a hand in that. Now, he’s an ambassador for the White Sox, and has no idea what that means.
7-And finally, former Florida QB Tim Tebow will be doing a spot for Focus on the Family, a religious group that opposes abortions. The spot will be a pro life stance with Tebow as the spokesperson. Apparently all these womens groups have been protesting the spot. Sure it’s OK for the racy spots to air, but when it comes to killing a life, that’s crossing the line. I think Focus on the Family has the right to express their views regarding the issue, like many womens groups who welcome the practice of killing embryos for whatever reason they may have. If Tim Tebow feels this strongly that he wants to talk about it on an ad during the Superbowl for thirty or sixty seconds, God bless him. Good thing we live in America, where free speech rules.
Honorable mention: Allen Iverson=All Star???? LMFAO!!!! I think the All Star committee needs to get some PRACTICE!
And that’s me today. Enjoy yours.
M
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