Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Thanksgiving...BLAH!

I know I can be redundant at times, especially now.

Thanksgiving to me is a bullshit holiday. Here are the top 7 reasons why Thanksgiving is crap.

1-The idea of everyone sitting around a table with a dead bird laying there truly repulses me. Let's give thanks because some asshole thought it would be cute to murder a poor turkey. I know, I know, they were put here for us. Come on man. Do you really believe that any form of life was meant to be killed?

2-Why is it the Cowboys and the Lions have to play football every Thanksgiving? First off, the Lions are laughable. Sure the Cowboys keep things interesting, but not when they play the Raiders. And then you put an actual competitive game on NFL network. That is gay guys.

3-We have a holiday when we celebrate eating. That is the most ass backwards thing I have ever heard. Lets split our pants and put on 5-10 more pounds for the sake of some fucking holiday, GREAT IDEA.

4-Not only did the poor bird get killed, but the Indians eventually were wiped out by the pilgrims. The reason they got together was the pilgrims knew they fucked up and this was there way to save themselves.

5-When I was a young lad, every year for 14 years straight I got sick the day after Thanksgiving. It never failed. One time I threw up all over the escalator at Marshall Fields, and my dad ran away from me.

6-Then there's Black Friday. What's so black about it? It seems like such a fun day. Everyone after they just stuffed their faces for a whole day runs down the streets with glee spending lots of money, and engages in street brawls for XBOXs and other useless shit. Sorry video games are useless shit. You shouldn't beat anyone up for one. Its bad karma.

7-And most importantly, why take one day to give thanks for anything you have? Everyday is a gift, therefore you should be thankful everyday.

Just to clarify, I hate Thanksgiving. You're welcome.
Happy murder is OK for today day.

Mike

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