The Man had to Piss!!!!!

OK so I screwed up. I thought opening day was today, but NOPE. It’s tomorrow. Johnny Stonerod strikes again. In the meantime…

Uno-For all you people that are talking trash about Lebron, HE HAD TO PISS. What is so hard about that? It happens. I hope he didn’t wash his hands so when he throw the talc powder in the air, his urine in on it drowning all the idiots in Cleveland. Speaking about Cleveland, just wait until tomorrow when the White Sox teach you a lesson.

Due-And for John Wall. Dude go hit a wall. You may have better luck doing so than hitting Big Z. In case no one heard, the Heat returned to their winning ways against a hapless Washington team last night. The Bulls won too. Lebron pretty much said that Derrick Rose should be the MVP, he gave up 23 in respect to Jordan, he took a pay cut to play for his friends instead of continuing to stay in a shitty city. So he made a bogus one hour special about his decision. Big whoop. Get over it people. The man is still great.

Tre-UConn winning it all. Both sides. Men and women. I see it happening. I watched an interview this morning with Kemba Walker and Maya Moore. The two make a nice couple. Unfortunately the little train that could has hit Butler station and that will be last stop. Notice KU was never brought up in this conversation.

Quattro-Barry Bonds, its time to tap out. The evidence is piling against you young man. More and more things are coming out about you, your trainers, your dog, etc, etc. Can we please put this saga to bed soon? Baseball needs to learn how to be baseball again and with the dirty laundry of steroids and what not; it’s hard to stay clean.

Cinque-There has been lots of buzz about Chris Brown performing at Dancing with the Stars. Many people love him and the majority doesn’t. Here is my official take: first off. You need to take responsibility for your actions. It would have been a great chance for you to come clean on GMA and show some kind of regret for the things you did to Rhianna (who now has turned into a S&M pop diva thanks to you). She is a classic example of what happens when you get pissed off. From Umbrella to Rated R. Anyway, instead you threw a chair through a window. Grow up rude boy. Someone must treat you that way in return. Karma sucks sometimes pal.

Sei-Hey Red Wings! How does it feel do give up 10 goals bitches?????!!!!!!!

Sette-Like I said yesterday, I will have an opening day entry tomorrow. The White Sox are going to rock this town this year.

Pinsiero Finale-So since I have started this exciting job I have now, I have been hitting the gym just about every day. My goal was to get to 200 by summer. I am at 206. Anyone have ideas how to fight off the plateau? Holler at your boy!!!!

See you tomorrow for opening day
M

Are You Happy Cleveland?

Bad mood today, but happy Hump day anyway.

Uno-Ok Dan Gilbert and your toilet bowl city of Cleveland. Did you get what you wanted? Are you fricking happy? You beat the Heat. Congrats. I am sure Lebron felt sorry for your asses so they threw the game for you, but whatever. Just remember assholes, you will be forced to watch Lebron next month play for a real city in the playoffs, while you guys are sitting there picking your asses. Maybe Danny girl can write another letter about how his girlfriend left him because his cock wasn’t big enough or perhaps he was afraid to use it.

Due-Blackhawks! WTF happened last night? You were playing Boston not the Roman Empire. OK well you might as well be after the effort exuded from playing scumbag city the night before; you kind of have to expect to take the fall. However Sam Fels from Second City Hockey keeps it in perspective:

With the Stars loss in a shootout, they are three back with six to go. If the Hawks manage a 4-2 record from here on out, the Stars cannot lose another game in regulation, and the Flames will have to go perfect 5-0 to catch us. 4-2 should be totally manageable. So there's your upbeat thought of the night.

Ok so maybe all is not FUBARed.

Tre-Opening day Thursday, shit that’s tomorrow. Instead of writing my usual 7 hits, I will talk about the Sox in detail and post on SSS.

Quatro-I can’t believe that Tom Ricketts is still trying to get money from the taxpayers for renovations of Wrigley Field. If I’m voter, this is how I vote:

Would you like to give your hard earned money to a team that attracts tourists and a bunch of ham and eggers up north?
( ) yes ( ) no (x) write in answer: Are you fucked in the head?

Didn’t this man buy the team knowing full well what would be involved? He should have known that stadium or “shrine” as many of you Cub fans call it was falling apart. I guess the rooftops owners are losing money as well. Too bad. You want to fix a bad situation? Bankrupt the fricking team, move it to Maine, and got eat lobsters after you eat cock, pieces of shit. In case no one got the memo, property taxes were raised 66%. Why in God’s name should we have our hands forced into saving a toilet bowl that should be torn down in the first place?

Cinque-So Jay Z was caught hanging around in the locker room after the Kentucky Wildcats punched their ticket to Houston. I am sure he wasn’t there just to brush dirt of their shoulders. Nevertheless, why was he there? Is he scouting for the Nets, you know he is part owner of the team. Celtics GM Danny Ainge got hit with a $30,000 fine for sitting with Kevin Durant’s mother a few years back. If you multiply that number by the number of players in the dressing room, I am sure it would be less than 99 problems for the jiggaman.

Sei-Mad Men isn’t coming back until 2012? Well now, let’s hope that’s before December. I mean isn’t the world supposed to end or something?

Sette-I am guilty. I decided to follow Charlie Sheen on twitter. And quite frankly, I would expect more from a raving lunatic and a “winner.” He speaks of this “warlock.” And quite frankly I have no idea who that is? However, I did come across an interesting article in Time about his father and the movie Apocalypse Now (one of my top movies, I love that film.)Read this article and you’ll see some shocking developments that occurred during the filming.


Pensiero finale-While on the Charlie Sheen wavelength, a user’s comments tickled me:

“I'm pretty sure no one will need anything explained, Charlie. No one who watches the show is going to see a new actor and go, "Hey, what happened to Charlie Sheen?"

Have a great hump day folks!
M

DAY 2

Buon Giorno everyone. Are you ready to go? I am.

Uno-The Blackhawks and HOSSA HOSSA HOSSA!!!! Love them. In fact I am sporting my Hossa jersey today. What a game last night. Now we have to win against Boston and the Wings two more times. This is got Pepto Bismo written all over it. That’s OK. Welcome to hockey in springtime baby. It’s the best, especially when your team is in the mix.

Due-So as critical as I may be of President Obama, I think his speech last night hit a home run. The US shouldn’t be involved in every foreign policy mess there is, and Obama called upon nations in NATO to eat dinner while he served appetizers. We stayed away from Egypt. Although I believe Obama has missed on many domestic issues like healthcare, economy, and unemployment; I feel he has done a good job, so far on foreign policy. Start the process but let others do the dirty work, stay out of it for the most part.

Tre-Bears President Ted Phillips has said, “sure you want to see our books, we will open them.” This after the owner of the Denver Broncos has. Look quite honestly I don’t know what the hell is going on with this lockout. However…

RickyWilliams (twitter page) It’s turned into the billionaire-millionaire fight. I think you have missed the point. Mass media trumps common sense once again.

So what is it then Ricky?

Quattro-The Bulls lost yesterday AT HOME!!!!! The Celtics lost AGAIN to Indiana and my boy Psycho T. Chuga chuga chuga chuga CHOO CHOO!!!!

Cinque-Today in a super battle of women’s basketball, its Connecticut Huskies against the Duke Blue Devils. Everyone better watch or you might get bitchslapped by Geno Auriemma, especially if you’re an UConn fan.

Sei-Jackie Chan is dead! No he’s not. What a bunch of fiddle fucks on twitter.

Sette-Do you ever get back into bands you were really into and found out they produced a bunch of albums you don’t own? Go ahead and answer. Ministry is that band for me. I have about 4-5 albums I need to get my hands on to get caught up.

Pensiero finale-I leave you with a tweet from Chad Johnson or as you know him, Ochocinco…

Chad Ochocinco Ever tried? Ever failed? No fucking matter!!! Try Again!! Fail again!! Fail better!! <-- if this don't get u hyped you've no pulse #1luv

Talk to you all later,

M

I'M BACK!!!!

I have been slacking. I have to get back into this. Oh wait, here I am. Ready go!

Uno-The Cubs did something they should have done sooner and released Carlos Silva. Silva’s fragile ego has been exposed and he’s crying about how he should be a starter, and how he will get the Cubs back. The sad thing about this is the brand new pitching coach, who’s name escapes me at the moment gave jabroni the bad news, not manager Mike Quade. I’m sorry but when it comes to releasing a pitcher I believe the manager should be there as well as the pitching coach. As far as the fat fuck Silva goes, you’re going home making $11 million doing nothing. So take the money and shut the fuck up. You were overpaid and delusional all these years.

Due-The White Sox have decided to break camp with 11 pitchers as Ozzie was unable to make a decision between Brent Lillibridge and newcomer Lastings Milledge. I love the move. I believe Milledge had a kick ass spring and I really would like to see what he can do in the major league level. As far as Lilli goes, I really enjoyed his play last year and I am happy to see go. Teahen as far as I’m concerned is the odd man out and hopefully they can find a way to move him. Just wondering how the Peavy soap opera is going to play out. Put a leash on that bulldog guys. He wants to eat too much!!!!

Tre-I declared myself a Heat fan this year in case you haven’t been keeping score. However, I am quite impressed with the Bulls and the damage they have done in the Eastern Conference this year. Derrick Rose should be the MVP of the year as not only is he amazing, but he brings the rest of the team to a whole new level. I would like to see my guys do that in South Beach, but here’s to hoping.

Quatro-Speaking about South Beach, Mr. Ross said he wanted to see the team open up the field, but Mr Sparano says no! We’re a run team first. Nice to see a man stick to his guns, but I hope you have them ready to defend yourself. We need to see some kind of spark from this team this year; otherwise the only thing that gets opened up is Sparano.

Cinque-Chad Johnson is trying out for soccer. Is the labor situation that grim? Will we see B-Marsh try out for the Heat next year? I watched a report on ESPN about Ochocinco trying out for soccer, and how his football experience helps him to receive the ball and maneuver it swiftly. I hope the best for him. Sure the guy is a real ham and egger, but I think he has a good heart and wants to compete. I wish we could get in on the Phins.

Sei-So the Hawks blew it Saturday. I really want to see them make the playoffs and possibly make some magic moments there, but I feel like its slipping away.

Sette-And congratulations to Butler and Virginia Commonwealth for upsetting two of my final four picks. Butler won me my pool last year eliminating some of the dragons, and this year they won me money on spare bets. Butler I am rooting for you, although much love to VCU for wiping out a #1 seed in Kansas and making all those analysts shit in their drawers. However, I got to pull for the boys who made me some money.

Pensiero finale-I would like to say happy birthday to 2 of my 3 girls. To Avery, who just turned one, happy birthday little girl. You always make daddy smile when you yell his name when he comes home, and to the love of my life little Vicki Lee. You have helped me to be stronger and better, and I love you very much.

Talk to y’all tomorrow or something,

M

I Jumped on the Bandwagon and No Way in Hell I'm Leaving

When Lebron made his announcement, I was in utter disbelief the way he did it. He ripped the soul of out Cleveland and flushed it down the toilet. Given my relationship with the city of Cleveland (never had any good experiences there; nasty people), I thought it was fricking hilarious, but kind of douchey. However, Lebron and D-Wade have always been two players I really enjoyed watching. Since I have pledged allegiance to one team in south beach for many many years now, and considering I really have not cheered for any basketball team, I decided, eh what the hell? Why not the Heat? After all, I always picked Alonzo Mourning and Larry Johnson when I played NBA Jam back in the day (I know they were the Hornets but Zo is famous in Miami more so than Charlotte.) I have always been a big Riley fan. Was really happy for them when they won in 06, so sure, I’ll cheer for the Heat. There was the whole nWo angle and everything I wrote about earlier in the year when I first joined this site. So I jumped on the bandwagon.

I must say that the year so far has been a roller coaster. Living in Chicago, you can only imagine how much grief I have taken the last three games from Bulls fans. Plus I have 3 friends who like the Celtics as well. However, I will say this. I believe in this team. I believe that D-Wade will convince everyone he is the closer. I believe that Lebron will continue to dominate while he’s here. I believe Chris will find his role with this team, and the rest of the boys will pick it up. This team has too much talent to fail.

The last week has been tough, but last night was like getting out of the hospital after suffering a broken heart. I have pledged allegiance to the Heat for better and for worse. Through thick and thin. I really wished I lived out there with many of you so I can go to games and hang with you at the bars (this including many of the fine people I have met and conversed with at the Phinsider). I just want to say; sure I jumped on the bandwagon. But having said this, there are four teams that my loyalty is with. The White Sox and Hawks in Chicago and the Dolphins and the Heat in Miami. That is the way it is. My faith in the Hawks was rewarded last year, as well as the Sox in 05. The Heat will bring the title back home. Not sure if it will be this year, but it will happen. I hope that this past week was a wake up call to many of the role players on this team. You have two of the greatest superstars in the NBA playing with you and sharing the same goal. To win that championship (or the four, five, six that Lebron talked about). If you want it, you got to take it. You need to step up. Lebron and D-Wade can’t do it all themselves. I liked seeing Mike Miller hit some threes last night. I liked watching Mario Chalmers come into his own lately. Hell, seeing Z get some boards and play some D was fun too. It’s a great start and we will be in the playoffs. Let’s carry that action through March and April and become “hot” because the hottest team in the playoffs is the most difficult to beat.

And to the Bulls and Celtics, it’s a new season come the playoffs. This time, we will be ready.

Thanks for listening.

GO HEAT!!!!!!

Twuck the Fins!!!!

No not the DOlphins!!!!

Hello boys and girls. I’m back.

First off I would just like to say it’s nice to be a fan who isn’t murdered anymore, and I see no usefulness in Al Yellow over Cheat. Yet, the conversations in that were fricking hilarious.

So anyway, having a second child has kept me from doing lots of things. One; living a normal life, which will most likely never happen ever again. Two; keeping up with my blog on the hiimmichael.com site, and keeping up with some of my favorite people here in SSS. Three; the mass quantities if marijuana I have ingested since my second daughter was born to stay sane. Just kidding on the third one gang.

This has been a season for the ages. And I don’t know what part. The landslide to the pits. Riding Ozzie’s comet to first place. So many things to take in, however I am still waiting for that punch in the gut to Minnie and Paul and the group of flaming bitches that represent them (yeah Thome, I’m talking about you too Mr. Gentleman Masher.)

I am sick and tired of the Twins. They’re the little cut in the mouth that would go away if you would stop scratching it. This week, there’s a chance to step on the throat of the Tigers and put them out of their misery. So after that little task gets completed at Comerica, we need to really figure out a way to get rid of the M & Ms, and the other group of pansies for good so we can win this thing.

Yeah Twinkies, you and your little gay ass Target Field pisses me off. I wanted to be the one that push the button to detonate your God damn terror done, and now we have your two little queer bait representative looking over everyone who plays in your “park” smiling at them. Well smile at this. Fastballs coming from a real bullpen striking out your man crush Joe Mauer. O-Dog getting picked off and of course finding a way to contain the infamous Punto from doing more damage to himself than others.

You see guys; I believe we can win it all again like we did in 05. But we must find a way to get this monkey off our backs! These diseased little monkeys are worse than the zombies in 28 Days Later. They keep coming back. With the injuries and everything, they still find ways to win. It’s really annoying. God damn Santa Claus looking mofo Gardenhire keeps us on our toes. Sure the Yankees will give us issues, but we can do it.

I really don’t want to hate on Teabag. I mean who tweets in the perspective of their dog. It’s kind of funny in a drug induced sort of way. But seriously dude, stay away from third base. An old man can play it better than you, so you have no place being there. And Omar isn’t too old, but he sure has helped things out. Spectacular defense and brings the best out of savior and Che. I am waiting for the scene in the Club where Kenny actually talks about extending this guy’s contract. What’s the basis behind it? Speaking about behind, can we leave Mark Kotsay behind in Detroit? Seriously, like have the bus leave him behind and he can find Eminem and they can do a duet together or something. I’m sure his hip hop skills resemble his baseball skills. I used to think Kotsay played somewhat decent. Grinderish. Now I think he’s just a tool.

Did we ever think we would see the day when we wanted Lillibridge to stay on the team? I know right.

And now, Edwin Jackson. Look, I know Dan Hudson pitched a great game in Zona last night, and everyone’s freaked out about the $8 million owed to a pitcher who may be a slight upgrade now has been stuck with us, due to a certain GM being a little loopy and asked for a skyscraper for the price of a two flat. I truly believe Cooper can fix him and Mr. Jackson will get us to where we need to go this year. Hudson’s not ready for that. Personally, I think this Lucas Harrell kid did well his first time out. I thought that story kicked ass. However, I don’t know if the kid can do it again. I just hope Peavy makes it back next season, or Kenny really took a dive.

Well anyway, thanks for listening to my rambling. I will try to keep up with this on a more regular basis. Thanks and talk to you later.

It's Here!!!

Can you smell it? Finally, opening day has arrived. Let’s see what this White Sox team can do. I am so excited about this season, and of course I’m looking forward to seeing you guys at the meet up later this season but for now, lets throw those questions out there for y’all to ponder.

Will this DH by committee thing work out? I don’t know about you, but I’m sitting here nervous as hell. A guy we loved has now joined the team we hate, and he could have helped. Yet, we’re going ahead with the KotsayJonesQuentinRiosVizquel project. I can’t think of nothing better to make us want to go get thunder blunts to calm down due to the anxiety we will experience while one of these guys come to the plate.

Sure the rotation kicks ass, but can they stay healthy and consistent. Will Mark Buehrle refrain from throwing any perfect games or no hitters? After all, he hit the tank afterwards. Will Jake Peavy be able to jump on top of the dog pile, or will he get himself injured again only to sit on top of a different pile we won’t talk about or want to smell? Will the youngins Danks and Floyd be able to hit the ground running, and can Floyd do it without our help? And then there’s sweaty Freddie. Can he stop himself from getting shelled like in Spring Training?

Will Alex Rios play like a $13 million player, or will he be a ten cent twit?

Will Q be the superhero we all dream of, or will he be on the cutting room floor of DC Comics?

Can Matt Thornton and JJ Putz put the bromance on hold and anchor this bullpen?

Will Bobby Jenks be able to avoid little black stones in places we don’t want to think about or talk about?

Will Mark Teahen play as well as his dog tweets?

Will the savior beat the sophomore slump, or continue to light the field with his presence and of course that old hit from the 80’s by the Outfield?

Can Che hold the ball in his mitt?

How many guys will AJ throw out at second, and then out of the clubhouse. Wait, that’s Ozzie’s job. I’m telling you, one day AJ will be in charge of this team.

And finally, will Ozzie keep his job?

Yeah that’s right. If our beloved White Sox happen to be under 500 by All Star Break, he gone. If the Sox miss the playoffs, he gone! I hate to see it happen because I love him, but this whole season rests on him. He made the decisions; he pushed Kenny for the team he wanted. The White Sox need to play to save his ass. I am sure Kenny doesn’t want to get rid of him, despite what the media says. However, Kenny has people to answer to, and has a team to build. He knows what he wants, but he’s stepping back for some reason.

And golly gee people, can you wait for that reality show to hit MLB network?

Yes folks, it’s finally here. White Sox baseball, for realz. I am excited and hope you are too. Let’s enjoy it, no matter the outcome.

Oh yeah, and go Blackhawks too!!!!!