MICHAEL SAYS...

It's Coming Casey, No Escape

2011-07-07T07:24:00.001-07:00

I know I have been off an on lately, but my job become a little more demanding and we just had the holiday so I’m a little slow.

The whole country is angry about the Casey Anthony verdict and who can blame anyone? The whole way this thing went down stinks. This woman did not report her two year old missing, was out partying and not showing any concern, and has been a compulsive liar throughout. However, due to the fact the state couldn’t show how the murder happened or couldn’t prove anything, this woman is walking free. Don’t blame the jury, as I read one of their accounts of what is was like in there, and this is what it says…

"I just swear to God ...," said the juror, who spoke to a reporter on condition of anonymity on Wednesday. "I wish we had more evidence to put her away. I truly do ..."

So having said that, Casey Anthony walks free, and Caylee Anthony’s body is still dead, but her spirit is in heaven with God.

I normally don’t get affected by events and what not, but when I see pictures of little Caylee, it makes me feel a whole array of emotions.

I feel angry that someone can do this to a little girl. Especially considering I have two little girls who I could never hurt, and if anyone tried to hurt them, there would be hell to pay.

I feel so sad that this little girl doesn’t get the chance to grow and learn and share memories with a normal family that doesn’t include many of the things we have heard in the last month.

I sat there shaking my head over the celebration by the attorneys and the gall of Cheney Mason flicking off everyone who saw them in the restaurant. Do you guys have the decency to celebrate your “victory” in private? I don’t get lawyers. How do they go to sleep at night?

But I’ll tell you, every time I see that little girl, it makes me want to hold my little girls tighter. They are so precious to me, and when life is so fragile it makes you want to protect them even more.

This trial reminded me of a few things. One justice is not fair all the time. Two there is the 1% chance that Casey Anthony did not murder or have anything to do with the murder, and that her father really did freak out because of the pool accident. Therefore, I think we should state our peace and move on.

However, 99% of me says she has a hand in it. Whether she did it herself or someone helped, her behavior tells a different story than the one her lawyers told. Yet, there is one thing you cannot escape and that is the judgment of God. She will have her real day in court soon. And the penalty this time will be eternal damnation, not just sitting in a cell waiting for an injection to take the pain away. No, if you murdered an innocent child, let a lone your own, the man upstairs will have something to say to you, and there will be no TMZ, Twitter, Nancy Grace, or whoever to chronicle it for you. No one to make money off of it as so many have done. No one to point the finger. The justice will be served and will be done, and you’ll bet another selfish young lady who will learn the error in her ways.

I Like the White Sox: I'm Tired

2011-07-07T06:42:00.001-07:00

Well guys, I really don’t know what else to say. I like you have watched this season in shear disbelief. The team should be doing much better than they are, but something is not working. The team has a guy who has hit 40 home runs consistently, but this year he can’t even make it into the 20’s. The team has a guy who may be the answer to the quiet offense, but we have yet to see him play in the biggies. I don’t know about you, but quite frankly, I’m tired.

1-I’m tired of seeing great pitching performances being wasted. Danks should have 8-10 wins by now, Thornton should have 2 or 3 of his loses, and Sergio Santos should have saved that game the other night. Although there is the occasional misfire on defense, the offense on this team is baffling and I don’t know why our team can’t hit the ball.

2-I’m tired of watching Alex Rios and his lack of energy and focus. This guy could have caught two balls that barely went over the wall, but if he would have at least made a true attempt, I wouldn’t be so angry. Yet, this guys body language and movement tells me he’s happy to be making the money that he is thanks to some douche bag in Toronto who thought he was worth a king’s ransom, and he could care less about what guys and gals like you and me think.

3-I’m tired of seeing this lineup getting tinkered with every day. Alexei was fine in the two hole, why did Morel get moved up in the first place? If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Sure Alexei had some issues, but damn man, doesn’t everyone on this fricking team? Why does Dunn consistently bat third now? Yes, you want pitchers to throw to Konerko, but they were pitching to him anyway. Maybe if the team did their damn jobs and played baseball, Ozzie wouldn’t be playing Othello games on the field.

4-I’m tired of Paul Konerko being passed up as an All Star two years in a row when he has been the solid rock of this team. Especially this year when the game is in his backyard in Arizona. The guy ranks high in home runs and RBIs this year as well. What did Paulie do to everyone to not earn this? And furthermore what’s with the dumb marketing slogan, Paul Star? What the hell is that?

5-I’m tired of seeing AL Central opponents get the best of the Sox. Woo hoo, we beat up on the Cubs, we swept the Red Sox, none of that means shit if we can’t beat the teams in our own division. And the best part, we can’t even beat the team in last place of our division with no name pitchers. Sigh.

6-I’m tired of seeing Adam Dunn. I want to cheer for the guy, but he can’t hit. He needs to get counseling, hitting coach, steroids, whatever. This guy needs to hit the ball damn it.

7-I’m tired of seeing the passive aggressive bullshit relationship between Ozzie Guillen and Kenny Williams. I think their bullcrap has spilled over to the team, and maybe that’s the issue. I don’t know. Maybe I’m reaching. Move Viciedo up someone. Bench the players who aren’t making it happen. Stop blaming each other and work together.

I’m tired guys. I know the theme here is redundant, but I had to put some of my thoughts here in writing. The team I love more than any other team I cheer for is really disappointing, disheartening, frustrating, baffling, mind numbing, etc, etc. Sure they are only four games or so back, and if they get their shit together, they can do this. However I am really starting to believe hope is lost. I will stand by the White Sox for the rest of my life no matter what, but I am really starting to think this season can be lost. I don’t know about you, but all in means putting your chips in when you think you have a good hand. Problem here is those pocket kings that Kenny was holding don’t mean much when you see one five, a three, a two, and two aces on the board, and the guy across from you has the other two aces in his hand.

Let’s go White Sox. Don’t let me go to sleep.

I Like the White Sox: Concerned

2011-06-29T11:06:00.000-07:00

So I have to talk about the White Sox again. Not that this is a bad thing, as I enjoy talking about the White Sox. However, I believe that things are a bit hairy right now and I have seven concerns. Perhaps, you guys can help address them.

1-First off, Larry. Nice job on how you handled Daily Herald report Scot Gregor. He tried to, as all reporters do, pass you off as a kid in mom’s basement writing about baseball, and I believe you held your own and told him what time it was. Very good. On a side note, I would like to say that I have been a member of South Side Sox now for quite a while (and have been keeping up with Sox Machine forever), and some of the things said by the members here make me proud to be here. Although I write quite weird and crazy stuff and try to contribute in my own special way, I think you guys rule. You guys make great arguments, remarks, statements and posts that help me understand baseball better, and you guys are funny as hell. Even when I get ripped on. However, I wanted to get to the point. I like Larry’s theory, but quite frankly the whole he said, she said bullshit between Ozzie and Kenny is getting old. If you both believe he’s ready, and in one ear I hear Kenny saying “if the manager isn’t ready for him, I have too much respect to bring him up now” and in the other Ozzie says “just tell me who to send down and when to play him and I will.” You know I feel like a tweet from Oney is on the horizon here for some reason. I, as a fan am getting tired of the passive aggressive bullshit between two grown men. And if I am getting tired of it, I can assure you some people in the clubhouse are as well. Does this have anything to do with some people struggling? I don’t know. However, if you pull the veil off, I really do believe they could be posturing for the July date. If Gregor can remember anything, wouldn’t he remember how much of a ball buster Scott Boras is if given the opportunity?

2-OK. I am getting tired of all the excuses people are giving Adam Dunn. Yes I have heard he played in the National Leauge his whole career, he has never been on a competing team, he was lazy over the winter, he’s not used to being a DH, etc, etc. Let’s talk about that for a moment shall we. About the National Leauge, I can think of a couple of guys who went from National to American and have bat under 200 like Dunn. Both Miguel Cabrera and Adrian Gonzalez (who are far superior to Dunn) came into the AL, and their performance hasn’t dropped. They have stayed pretty consistent with numbers they were putting up in the NL. And Gonzalez is in the toughest division in the AL mind you. Cabrera has actually improved his numbers as he goes. Dunn was brought to the Sox for his high number of HRs and walks. He is on pace to finish the year with 20 home runs if lucky. That is less than half. When he has a glove, he definitely can’t play OF, but he always could hit. I just want to see the guy produce. I am sick of excuses.

3-I keep hearing “the Ranger” on the Score talk about why we shouldn’t get rid of Juan Pierre and his money. Juan Pierre this year has done nothing and the money itself has gotten pissed away already. Ozzie seems to want to defend him all the time and talk about how there are guys who have done worse. Be that as it may, but Juan Pierre is owed $8.5 million for this year, being his last. Dunn and Rios (who are doing worse than him) are owed a lot more than that over many more years. Pierre anyone can agree is the easiest person to cut ties with to bring Viciedo up.

4-Alex Rios, you are my daughter’s favorite because she is 3. If she were 10 years older, she would yell at me that you were still on the team. Every time I want to give you the benefit of the doubt, you give me reasons to not. Give Ozzie two points for benching you. And we’re stuck with this frickin shit for 3 more years is it? Well gee, rape me gently with a chainsaw.

5-Johnny Danks, you are the man and you’re going to the DL. Life really sucks. This means Jake Peavy must go to bulldog form instead of pit bull form. We can only hope Johnny gets better, and Jake doesn’t injure himself drinking a cup of Gatorade or throwing a pitch, or whatever.

6-Another question for you guys, is AJ Perzynski going nutty? Calls out Floyd, speaks to Peavy in the tunnel…is he getting tired of all the drama that our wonderful Chicago media speaks of.

7-And finally, how do you rate this team compared to the last 2 years? I see way too many similarities and its getting old.

Final thought: I feel like as a fan, I am confused and frusturated. Sure the Sox are only 5 games back or so, and 4 games under, so all hope shouldn’t be loss. But you keep hearing about all the drama listed above, and it only puts gas on the fire.

Quote of the day: “To suggest the White Sox would purposely keep Viciedo in the minors due to a contract issue immediately tells me you don't know how this team does business.
The Sox aren’t the Pirates or the Marlins or the Royals.”-Scot Gregor.

Yeah well Scot ever think about covering those teams? Might suit your shitty attitude better pal.

"Hold Up That Fucking Cubs Shit"

2011-06-27T13:05:00.000-07:00

Yep. Those were the famous words muttered by Patti Blagojevich, the wife of the former governor of Illinois who if not careful, may get a “Rod” somewhere he won’t like. Although the sentencing hasn’t been handed down yet, it’s reasonable to assume Rod Blagojevich may be going to the slammer.

Yes you had your appearances in silly ass plays. You had your little radio show on WLS AM. You always quote Elvis because you’re a douche bag, and you got to ride on the co-tails of real celebrities on Donald Trump’s overdone reality show as well. You were shaking hands outside of the courtroom like you were campaigning to get back into Springfield. The problem was, your voters were the jury in the courtroom, and they were not impressed. No jurors held things up this time. It was guilty mother fucker guilty.

And to top of it all off, you’re a Cub fan. Let this be a lesson to all Cub fans, nothing good ever happens to them. Their team loses, and sometimes they do too. I’m kidding. Don’t get all sensitive on me you stoners. And if you want to laugh here are the phone calls transcribed.

Amway, here’s what we have for today.

Uno-TO on the DL permanently? Hmmm. When you hear the words “Dr. James Andrews” it usually is the kiss of death. No more drama, no more wondering what team will he be on next, no more popcorn, is he really done? I don’t think so, but we’ll see what happens if and when the season starts.

Due-Atlanta moved their hockey team to Winnipeg. And then the hockey team called themselves “the Winnipeg Jets.” Yeah, that’s never been done before.

Tre-Rumors were buzzing Friday about how O.J. Simpson was going to confess to murdering Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman to Oprah Winfrey. Then rumors circulated that Goldman’s Dad was going to be on TV again, so Oprah’s people shot it down.

Quattro-Stan Bowman, who is the son of Scott, but really sounds like the father decided to detonate more pieces of the Chicago Blackhawks 2010 Stanley Cup Final squad. Troy Brouwer, gone! Brian Campbell, gone and back with Dale Tallon. Get ready to hear more Blackhawk fans cry, “oh no, they’re blowing up the team.”

Cinque-Did you know a Cub fan took me off Facebook because of last week’s article? You Cub fans, this is your fan base doing something drastic because I disagree with the way Tom Ricketts has handled his time owning the Cubs. I believe he should have threatened to move them out of town, if money is a problem when it comes to moving the team out of town. To any Cub fan, or anyone else who wants to de-friend me, I say DEFRIEND THIS BITCH!!!!!

Sei-What’s it going to take Adam Dunn? What do we have to do to get you to hit the ball? I don’t think I have ever seen the cell go crazy when a guy gets walked until this past weekend when I saw the baseball peeps cheer for you very loudly for walking. You need to figure it out.

Sette-Back to Blagio, I love this comment…

I’ve got this thing and it’s fucking golden, and, uh, uh, I’m just not giving it up for fuckin’ nothing.

He can use that one again to describe his ass before he gets into the clink.

Pinsiero finale: Best show on TV you may be watching or not, TRUE BLOOD. The season just kicked off yesterday, and HBO was nice enough to add another episode to the HBOGO/On Demand feature they have. I highly suggest you check out this show. Of course you should check out seasons 1, 2, and 3 before you go here. They are most certainly worth you time.

Citazzione del Giorno-“I don’t know what’s going on with Mauer. He didn’t put a sign down for a breaking ball. It was fastball, fastball, fastball,”-Jose Mijares, Twins reliever not happy with the pitch selection superstar sideburn extraordinaire Joe Mauer was calling for. And you all thought A.J. v Peavy was bad. Please!

Peace until tomorrow guppies.

Dolphins Kick Ass: S#!t People Say

2011-06-24T08:01:00.000-07:00

Well Dolfans, I haven’t written here in a while. So I thought I would. I want to let everyone know who is a fan of the Phins in Chicago, I am trying to get a meetup/party or something like that for Monday Night Football. Yes it will happen, yes there will be a season, and yes I am going to do this. It may be my house or a local joint somewhere near. I am in the Algonquin/LITH/Huntley area, so if you are interested, let me know and we’ll hook it up.

Now, I am quite anxious for the season to start because we need to get some free agents on the team, and yes of course, find the person who will challenge Henne for the QB job. I am behind Henne 100%, but I want to see him at his best and a QB competition may do that for him.

Anyway here are seven of the most ridiculous things I have heard in the last six months regarding football and the Dolphins.

1-Stephen Ross flies out to California to interview Jim Harbaugh only to keep Tony Sparano-Look goofy, we love your orange carpets and you addiction to finding more and more celebrity minor owners for the Dolphins. It’s so cute. However, this was by far one of the biggest embarrassments for the Dolphins since 2007. I am with many people and getting behind Tony because what he went through, no one should have to go through. I also hope it motivates him to win big, but there is the effect of apathy it might have as well.

2-Let’s get Kevin Kolb. How many draft picks will this guy cost along with a house, car, boat, and plane? How much do we really know about him? If Vick didn’t emerge as he did, would the youngster step up to the plate? Quite frankly I think the talk of Matt Flynn is pretty crazy as well, but at least he had a great game against one of the elite teams in football, but what has Kevin Kolb done that has earned him all this praise. Why do we find random players in football and decide they will be the cream of the crop or the next great player to fill the huge shoes of a superstar who was on the team before?

3-Ryan Mallett and the “payback” the Dolphins are going to get. Did his Dad read the book “He’s Just Not That into You?” He should. The Dolphins saw someone who they wanted more. I don’t know if they have that much faith in Henne to fill the needs at running back and wide receiver/kick returner, but they did. Get over it. You’re on the Patriots which means you will most likely become a superstar, and Dolphin fans everywhere will point to Wes Welker, Sammy Morris, and anyone else they can think of who went to the Patriots and became great after they left South Florida.

4-Let’s give shout outs to coaches who lost jobs thanks to us-Tyrelle Pryor most likely drove one of the many vehicles he had thanks to his “hook up” for that press conference with Drew Rosenhaus. He gives Jim Tressel a “shout out” and half ass apology for causing him trouble. If you want to apologize and you feel you had something to do with his problems, then be a man and a professional about it. Don’t sound like some asswipe who’s calling into Eddie and Jobo trying to get all your buddies to hear you on the radio.

5-Can someone tell Rex Ryan he’s not Nostradamus but possibly Harold Camping-Year after year we have to hear this guy with his predictions for his wonderful Jets. And earlier this year, here he goes again:

"Last year I thought we'd win it. This year, I know we'll win it,"

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Go eat a sandwich and shut up already. Yes, you have proven you’re not a fluke coach, but you’re still an asshole. Sorry. And you’ll be wrong again. Oh, and the Dolphins will beat your team again too.

6-Let’s cut Brandon Marshall due to his wife stabbing him-First off all, you don’t just cut one of the top 5 receivers on the team because his wife stabbed him. You wish him well and hopefully he gets better. Will he cooperate with the police? Eventually. May he get suspended, perhaps. However, you didn’t see the Steelers cut Ben Rothlisberger. They tried to stay afloat without him, succeeded, and then he came back, and they went to the Superbowl. Character concerns are valid, but what a guy does on the field is what counts, and furthermore, can you really label Marshall a character concern when he was attacked? It may have been in self defense, but after the story of his wife coming back to the house two weeks ago, I am starting to believe not.

7-The lockout will be over next week-I can’t believe how many people want to make false reports so they can be the one who broke the news of the lockout being over with. Look, I thought when it came to the news, it’s more important to be accurate than first. If you’re the first person who botched the story, you’ll be known as being not credible which is a tag you don’t want as a journalist. I, like everyone, am tired of the lockout and want to hear the words “lockout over” as much as anyone. However, what I don’t want is a bunch of tools giving me wrong information, getting me excited over nothing. Let’s just end the speculation and report the lockout ends when it actually happens. This isn’t like free agency. That kind of speculation is fun. This is just crap.

Final thought: I can’t wait for the season to start and see who the Dolphins pick up to compete with Henne. It is going to be too late for a veteran QB to learn the system, but Pennington was signed pretty late into the offseason, and he helped win a division championship. Anything is possible. GO DOLPHINS!!!

I Like the White Sox: Cut Cub Fans Slack

2011-06-23T11:51:00.001-07:00

So a wise man who many like me feel is not wise and should have been bounced off the Apprentice like weeks 1-5 Meatloaf said “two out of three ain’t bad.”

And I guess that holds true with the fuzzy loving festivities known as the Crosstown Classic, Cup, Windy City Series, whatever; its Sox vs Cubs damn it. The Cubs threatened 2 nights in a row to win; but Sergio Santos denied them the opportunity along with some other great bullpen performances.

Yeah, I know. We all find many reasons to hate the Cubs and the parasites that follow them that they call fans, but today I am going to do something different. I am going to list seven reasons why the hate isn’t worth it anymore. Why the Cub bashing is getting old?

1-You look at their fans, and quite honestly they are all like puppy dogs waiting for a new owner to come and adopt them and save them from the boredom of Save-A-Pet. The problem is that dog is the one no one wants. However, that faithful puppy believes day in and out that someone is going to bring them home.

2-Their park is a dump. Peter Gammons said so himself. The ivy is rotting, the roof is falling down, and the statues are getting vandalized. The Cub fans are like sitting in a toilet where they never can relieve themselves, but are stuck on it, while everyone else has no problems with regularity.

3-Every player that comes to play for the Cubs eventually leaves if they’re any good, and stays if they suck. Chances are their guaranteed a no trade as well especially if they walk through the door reeking of greatness which ends up being fake. So if they’re good and start to suck, you’re stuck with them.

4-They haven’t won a playoff game in almost 10 years. Most Cub fans wonder if it’s even worth it to watch them in the playoffs anymore.

5-Did you know that 40% of Cubbie kingdom didn’t even know that the Sox would be their opponent the last three days? Sure they got all hyper when they won that one game, but the Sox took care of that one pretty quick eh?

6-Ron Santo died not seeing the Cubs ever win a world series, and many Cub fans fear they will suffer that same fate so no need to care about them anymore. This is a token argument the typical Cub fan uses when arguing with a Sox fan about who’s a better team. The good old attendance card. Apparently someone burned that one this year huh guys?

7-People who cry at baseball games really have issues. There is no crying in baseball.

Yes I know this whole article was to talk about why we shouldn’t bash Cub fans anymore due to the fact they're pathetic and all, but ended up bashing them anyway. What can I say, next to Sox baseball, making fun of the Cubs and their fans is a great past time. Sorry. Go Sox!!!!!

I Like the White Sox: One Fricking Run, That's It

2011-06-16T12:56:00.001-07:00

And now to expound on second half’s post from yesterday. In the “sort of” words of Harry Doyle (I changed one sentence)

“One run. One God damn run is all they got.”

Yes one run. One fricking run kids. And how many did we have. Zero!!!!! That is one less than yesterday. Actually we did get only one run. The entire series!!!!

The whole team is injured. Mauer, Morneau, Kubel, Span, tatermasher...all injured. We could have split this series, but no once again the Twins win again. We are subjected to watch Minnie and Paul jerk each other after a nasty Cuddyer home run. Why couldn’t that guy get injured? Oh wait, it won’t matter. So I am just going to spew lots of venom here.

1-The Twins should have a “fan gets to play LF night” every time they play the Sox. They will look just as good as all the no name guys who the Sox played today. The fan gets to keep his Twins jersey.

2-Isn’t there a coffin under home plate there at good old Target Field? It’s the ghost of Harmon Killebrew haunting us. He’s trying to sleep and every time A.J. hits his shoes with the bat, he ends up waking the old bastard up.

3-To this clown Jesse S who is calling the police, or calling the CIA, or calling his mommy; the only thing I can think of is Kirby Puckett had some sort of relations with your family so therefore, I can see where you take exception. How come he didn’t get buried under home plate if he’s such a great guy?

4-Back to the whole Target thing, I will never shop at Target again until the White Sox win a series against these crapwads. And I used to be a good customer Target. Well not anymore. You take your bull’s eye and shove it somewhere.

5-Joe Mauer I guess is holding a press conference shortly. What? You telling everyone you’re coming back? Who frickin cares what you do sideburn boy? Why don’t you find a lake to jump in with you catchers gear on? Go try to catch a shark.

6-Ron Gardenhire, go become Santa Claus at Santa’s Village. That would be a more beneficial job to kids everywhere, especially the ones who are Sox fans. They think you’re a cranky old man who kicks our ass all the time. They don’t like you. Become Santa and they just might like you.

7-Jim Thome, can you please leave the team? The last thing I want to see is you hit number 600 in a Twinkie uniform. This is disgusting.

Final thought: I HATE THE TWINS! And the sad thing is, I have to hate the Cubs less when they play you. That makes me puke. Now I have to favor the Cubs thanks to you pricks.

Mark Buehrle deserved better today. We fans deserve better than this. Twinkie Town is probably laughing at us right now. Adam Dunn says “oh too bad about the weather I can’t wait to hit there.” Yeah, well neither can we. Wait I think he did get a hit today. Good for you donkey!!!! OK I’m pissed. Gotta go.

Mavs Go to Sunset With Rings, Heat Goes to Drawing Board

2011-06-13T09:13:00.001-07:00

Well that hurt. However, he we are. So let’s take a looksie here:

1-First off I would like to thank everyone from Peninsula is Mightier for allowing my posts here. I know sometimes I go overboard, but that’s what makes me me. I am not about to change. For all the people who RECed me and had good things to say thank you. I appreciate it. I think David does a great job here, and many of you that contribute give me good insight. Being an “official” Heat fan for a year, I learned a lot. Thank you.

2-To the Dallas Mavericks, congrats to you. You guys played your asses off; not only in the finals, but the entire playoff run that you guys had was something to marvel at. You came back against teams, forced overtimes, and beat the defending champs. I can say it’s nice to see guys like Nowitzki and Kidd get rings. Now, the two of you can ride off in the sunset and let the Miami Heat drive the car. But before we put the car in R and pull out of the lot, some things need to be addressed.

3-Lebron James needs therapy. Bottom line. When this guy is at the top of his game, there is no one better actively. If Lebron played in the fourth, made free throws, did less facilitating, this series would be much different. When it comes to the BIG moment, he folds like a tent. He did it against San Antonio a few years ago, he did it this year. I am not sorry he is on this team, nor am I sorry he is one my favorite players. He needs to also come down a few levels and learn how to be a killer, not a bully, on the court. He needs to learn “the Chicago way” as depicted in the Untouchables. When someone uses a knife, you use a gun. If they put one of yours in the hospital, you put one of theirs in the morgue. I really think Lebron needs to focus on the game and not himself as a product for Nike and everyone else. Once he does that, look out world. He will be the terror that everyone here dreams about. I think he needs to spend the offseason working on his game mentally, and taking inventory in whether he wants to be a name brand, or a kick ass basketball player. We already have one icon in Miami who never won a title, we don’t need another.

4-D-Wade is a class act. He was the one who was hated less, and for good reason. He came alive in these finals like no one else. He just didn’t have enough help. We have seen what this team does when D-Wade and Lerbon are clicking. They need to draw up that plan for next year.

5-Chris Bosh gets a bad rap. The man wears his heart on his sleeve. I have new respect for him after these playoffs. He played his ass off, and gave maximum effort. I wish he was more involved in the game, but unfortunately, everyone was taking off point because of the game plan that Dallas used. It’s a shame that people give this guy crap all the time, but I really do think Chris Bosh showed many people during the playoffs why he was a part of this equation. He may have missed blocking Dirk’s layup in game 2, but he did so much more positive throughout the series that people should have more respect for him.

6-Many players stepped up and the question is who will be back. I really want UD and Miller back, as well as James Jones, Rio, and Anthony. Everyone else is fair game for trading as far as I’m concerned.

7-And as for all the fans from other cities who hated on the Heat for months, hope you are all happy with the result. While your teams were sitting at home, the Heat was in the Finals. Sure they lost, but as far as New York, your ass didn’t even get past the first round. Chicago, your superstar couldn’t close against the Heat. Boston, you can get on the horse and follow Kidd to the sunset. Cleveland, hell why even worry about Cleveland? Your city is a fricking toilet. Why the hell would Lebron want to spend another day in your garbage dump of a city is beyond me? Dan Gilbert is an ass. Period. He had to make a tweet yesterday. You failed to make moves for Lebron to stay. Here is a comparison that’s fair between Michael Jordan and Lebron James. Michael Jordan had a management staff that would get players for him. Michael Jordan’s team’s owner wasn’t a douche bag (although some will argue with me on that), and Michael Jordan’s fans in Chicago are good people (other than there bandwagon behavior the last two weeks and Cub fans, but hey what are you going to do? Kidding.)

Final thought: The thing that has bothered me this series is too much hatred. It’s OK to hate teams. Everyone hates the Yankees, Red Wings, Lakers, Celtics, Steelers, Patriots, etc. And mainly it’s because they win. Yes I know the Heat were cocky. Yes I know the Heat had a celebration to announce the three players. However, the real story should be how the Dallas Mavericks won the championship. The way the post game was handled last night was a joke. Too much time was spent on the fact the Heat lost, not the Mavericks win. Even Rick Carlisle commented “enough with the Lebron reality show. How about what these guys did?” I think the Heat will learn a lot from this, and will come back stronger and wiser next year. Lebron James will get his ring. So will Chris Bosh. They will do it. Let’s hope a deal can be reached between the NBA and the players and it doesn’t break these guys up.

I jumped on, and I’m not getting off no matter what. I am proud of what the Heat accomplished this year. Not bad for a team just getting together with tons of new faces. Imagine what they will do in the future. The Heat will be back, find a center, make a decision about Spo, and be back next year.

Quote of the day-“At the end of the day, all the people that was rooting on me to fail, at the end of the day they have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life that they had before they woke up today. They have the same personal problems they had today. I’m going to continue to live the way I want to live and continue to do the things that I want to do with me and my family and be happy with that.”-Lebron James

No Cuban WERE NOT DONE YET!

2011-06-10T11:47:00.001-07:00

OK I sat, I thought and now I am going to do it.

Yes Dallas has the momentum. Yes, their shooting last night was sick. Yes Dirk has been a monster. Yes Lebron hasn’t done shit in the fourth quarter. Yes, the Miami Heat let the lead get away in game 2 and gave away game 4.

However I am still picking the Heat. I am sticking with the Heat. And I am telling the Heat; get your crap together men. You need to win this.

I have seven thoughts about where we are now.

Uno-Everyone wants to call Lebron a quitter. And then some people want to call him the next Michael Jordan. Well Michael Jordan quit too. Thanks to Colin Cowherd for bringing this up. Let’s make a list on everything Michael quit on…

• His team in 1993
• His marriage
• The Washington Wizards

Yeah Michael is so noble so no one wants to bad mouth him, but everyone piles on Lebron. Lebron this, Lebron that. Man to hell with that. If Lebron is for real he proves it on Sunday and then again on Tuesday. If not, then I guess Charles Barkley and the rest of the world is right and the Heat get what they deserve.

Due-Dwyane Wade returned from the locker room and if the Heat won, that’s all you would hear about. We had to hear about Dirk Nowitzki’s fricking finger for game 2 and his illness for game 4. How come we don’t want to talk about that? Because Dirk has become America’s sweetheart. A video was released of D-Wade and Lebron poking fun at Dirk about his sickness and American is saying “oh my God. I can’t believe it. How unclassy.” No, you want to know what’s unclassy, media outlets saying some guy from Orland banged Lebron’s girl. Rashard Lewis says he didn’t do it. Why is it everything is about Lebron?

Tre-Mike Bibby has no business being in the starting 5 anymore. Get Chalmers in there. With Chalmers, Joel, CB, D-Wade, and Lebron, I feel better about that than Mike Bibby who has been silent for the Finals.

Quattro-Someone needs to take down Jason Terry. Sure he is backing up his crap right now. Yo Heat players, are you going to let this clown make a fool of you guys and not show up for games 6 and 7? At least the fourth quarter.

Cinque-A lot of Bulls fans are making a lame ass joke saying they asked Lebron change for a dollar, but he only gave them 75 cents because he doesn’t have the fourth quarter, including Ozzie Guillen’s kids. Well, you can take that 75 cents, and use it at a bar after asking a bunch of people for more money for one beer, and watch the Heat win the next two games. By the way chumps, how does it feel knowing you could have been there, but the Heat are, and you aren’t, suckers? I guess since you are all Maverick fans now it doesn’t matter right.

Sei-Everyone wants to talk about how arrogant the Heat are. Let’s go back to douchebag JET again. He tattooed the Finals trophy on his arm, and the Dallas fans are wearing shirts that sport the Finals trophy saying “our time is now” or some crap like that. Yeah, Heat fans, who Barkley refers to as the worst since he talked trash and everyone in Miami let him know how they felt about it, are so cocky.

Sette-And don’t forget, this team broke many franchise records this year. They defied the odds. The teams that beat them in the regular season are both out on their asses. Dallas you are hot right now, but heat usually cools down. Sunday night the comeback begins.

Final thought-Look guys, are you going to let the haters win? Will we have to listen to more idiots on TV talk about how the Heat failed? I don’t want to hear that, and I know no one at PIM wants to hear that, and I sure as hell know everyone and anyone in Miami doesn’t either. You came to south beach, declared yourselves champs. Now prove it. Shut everyone down. Find a way to contain Dirk. Pull a Bynum on Barera if you have to (no don’t do that, I’m fired up). Do something so the next time Terry pulls his arms out and flies like an airplane, he is signaling to everyone he is flying home for supper with his momma because he lost and couldn’t get it done. Shawn Marion didn’t do much when he was with the Heat, make him pay for it. Riley expects greatness, give it to him! The fact you guys are on game 6, one game from elimination is horrifying. Win this one guys. Do it for Johnny man! Do it for him!

Don’t ask who Johnny is because I don’t know. I am full of piss and vinegar and want so badly to see the Heat win this thing. Us against the world. Just bring it!

Remembering the Shine of Stanley

2011-06-09T09:00:00.001-07:00

A year ago, where were you?

I was in my bedroom watching game 6 of the Stanley Cup Finals, and in OT Patrick Kane shot a puck towards the goal. It’s didn’t look like it went in, but Kane threw his helmet off and started celebrating. The Chicago Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup. Amazing!!!!

I remember when I first cheered for the Blackhawks, I was in 8th grade. Players like Dirk Graham, Jeremy Roenick, Chris Chelios, Ed Belfour, and Denis Sarvard were on the team and they made the playoffs, only to be eliminated by the dreaded Minnesota North Stars. However, the Hawks would make the finals the next year, to be swept by a greater Lemieux than we had and lose. From that point on, the Hawks would make the playoffs a few more years, and then the team was broken up. Everyone went their separate ways and eventually Tony Amonte was our favorite. However, due to the policies and cheap ways of “dollar” Bill Wirtz, many of us fans became disinterested. Some Hawk fans stayed true to the team; however I am sad to say I wasn’t one of them. Life’s distractions took me out of the box.

Then Wirtz passed away, and it was announced Rocky was going to take over the team. I said to myself, sure I can get on board with this. When they talked about home games on TV, Pat Foley returning, and WGN broadcasting more games, I then said, OH I DEFINITELY CAN GET ON BOARD WITH THIS.

When Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane were drafted, this was the beginning of a new era in Blackhawks hockey. The days of as cheap as possible were gone. We were entering a new day where all that we needed to accomplish was “one goal.” In 2008, when things changed, I was on board from that point on as I found my fandom for the Hawks returned. The game of hockey changed a lot and I had lots of studying and catching up to do. I went to my former morning partner Tim Vandertuuk over at WKRS (when I was producing Libby’s show) and asked him as many questions as I could. Yes, it was time to get my game face back on.

I remember how sad and defeated I was when the dreaded Red Wings took down the Hawks in the conference finals. I knew that we were headed in the right direction and was confident we could do it. The next year, after sitting through a tough series with Nashville, entertaining hockey as usual with the Canuckleheads, and a surprising sweep of the Sharks, we finally were there once again. Almost 20 years later, headed to the Stanley Cup Finals.

It was so amazing to see the Hawks win it. When Marian Hossa came to the Hawks, I adopted him as one of my favorites because I knew how good he was with the scumbags and the Pens. But he never won it. Seeing him get the cup first and hoist it over his head will always be one of my favorite sports memories. Hossa finally got his cup. Third time was the charm.

I remember watching the parade on TV. Kaner was so blitzed.

I remember being on Second City Hockey and how everyone was going crazy.

I remember the cup came to my hometown of Elk Grove Village since John McDonough himself lived that way.

I remember Duncan Keith getting his teeth knocked out but remained a force to be reckoned with.

I remember Chris Pronger stealing the puck, but losing the trophy.

But most of all I remember hearing the roar of the old Chicago Stadium returning once again.

I really wanted the Hawks to destroy the Canucks this year in the playoffs. Coming back and making a game 7 out of it was nice. However, beating them in said game 7 would have been much better.

Seeing the Sox win it all was awesome, but the Hawks was different. I saw two of my favorite teams win championships in my lifetime.

I hope to see you guys win again. Thank you Chicago Blackhawks. Happy anniversary.

Lebron's Moment

2011-06-09T08:34:00.000-07:00

Well the weather outside is frightful, and it’s not snowing. Onward…

Uno-The Bruins win again! Yes! Keep it up boys. Eliminate those Canuckleheads. They play dirty and Luongo’s undees are too.

Due-Juan Pierre, I really can’t defend you anymore. Your poor fundamental baseball skills in left; and your inability to steal as many bases as you did last year have stopped me from doing so. You’re on you own pal. Good luck. Play better; Team mates like Sergio deserve to win games like last night.

Tre-It sounds like the NFL lockout may be coming to a close. Coaches were told to take vacations now, because July could get really busy. Please work it out guys. Football is fun, and we fans want to see the Dolphins win. As a matter of fact, speaking of the Dolphins, from Ricky Williams:

I'd love nothing more than to finish my career winning a Super Bowl with the Dolphins, but that's gonna take some cooperation from others.

Well someone needs to cooperate. Ricky needs to retire with the Phins, and of course win a Superbowl with them as well.

Quattro-Speaking of the Dolphins, you had reports saying Plaxico Burress was gaining interest from them, now the Miami Herald reports the Dolphins have absolutely no interest in him. I think there should be some. Three reasons, one Plax is a great WR, and you have two unproven rookies in Marlon Moore and Roberto Wallace. I would say Plax definitely replaces them. Two, think about the depth he brings. Marshall, Bess, Hartline, Gates, and then Plax. That is a sick corps of receivers. And third, no one knows how this Brandon Marshall stabbing soap opera is going to play out. There could be a conduct violation, and I believe Plax would fill in for Marshall nicely. However, it’s not my team, I just root for them.

Cinque-Now let’s get into tonight. Tonight will be the defining moment of the Miami Heat. Tonight will be a huge step towards becoming a dynasty or laughing stock. The last game in Dallas has two outcomes, Dallas going on the road with one game to win to solidify Dirk Nowitzki’s legacy, or Miami heading home a step away from the championship they prophesized back in the summer.

Sei-Deshawn Stevenson was on Jim Rome’s show talking about how Lebron checked out on game 4. We all know by now Jason Terry called Lebron out as well. The media, many fans, analysts, Cavs fans…everyone is calling out number 6. So an open letter to Lebron comes next.

Sette-Lebron, I know you have had difficulty in the past. People have talked about you since the first day you landed in South Beach. You need Wade, you’re joining his team, you want to be Robin, stop crying. Blah blah blah. Barrack Obama did a PSA about finding the moment. Tonight Mr. James is your moment.

It’s your moment to silence the critics and bring the series back to Miami with the Mavs in the coffins.

It’s your moment to score 28+ points to erase the anguish of the “disappearing act.” You know what you need to do, you said so yourself.

It’s your moment to show everyone why you and D-Wade are the two man wrecking crew as advertised, with CB backing you up, you cannot be denied.

It’s your moment as it was against Boston, when you exorcised the demon that’s plagued you for years.

It’s your moment as you made the real miracle comeback against the Bulls in game 5 of the ECF. What Dirk did was nice, but 12 points in 3 minutes. Sorry Dirk, you lose on that one too.

It’s your moment to make the fans of Cleveland barf in the toilets of the divey bars they inhabit.

It’s your moment to tell America you are here to chew bubble gum and kick ass, and you’re all out of bubble gum.

It’s your moment to announce you have arrived to the NBA Finals 2011 fashionably late.

And most importantly, it’s your moment to win that championship and bring it to South Beach.

It’s your moment Lebron, live for it my man! We all believe in you. D-Wade believes in you. Your coach believes in you, and I really do think most importantly, you believe in you. Throw that powder in the air, and let’s line dance right through the Mavericks dreams and give them nightmares that Mark Cuban’s money will not end.

It’s your moment number 6. Game 5. One game. Win and go home and take the next one, and you can tell the world whatever you like.

We’d like to see F You, but you’re too classy for that.

Pinsiero finale: I find myself holding on to things that don’t matter, or are in the past. I need to stop. I ask God to help me, and I will try to be positive.

Citazione del giorno-““Who the hell is Kim Kardashian? Who are these people and why are they famous and why are they advertising things and being asked their opinions about things? I just don’t understand what these people did to be in a position of having everyone ask their opinions about stuff. If there’s something about her personality or something that she’s accomplished or her philosophy on something — but beyond that I don’t understand what’s happening.”-Edie Falco

Let’s go Heat. Win dis thing.

Someone Needs A Kick in the Ass

2011-06-08T09:02:00.001-07:00

Perhaps I should include 8 items in my blog today to pay tribute to my guy in Miami.

Uno-Lebron, dude! You have got to do better my man. 8 points in a final game with a guy who has the talent you possess is bad, but 9 points for the entire series in the fourth quarter is unacceptable. I think you know that, and I hope to see improvement tomorrow night. Instead of giving generic ass speeches in the tunnel about how everyone needs to bring their A game, why don’t you think about bringing yours slapass?

Due-If you want to get your teeth kicked in, I beg you to compare Dirk Nowitzki’s performance to the one Michael Jordan gave in the 1997 Finals against Utah. Some people were saying that last night. Some people are morons too.

Tre-Well, Jason Terry. You talked the talk, and walked the walk. Bravo to you sir. But I would still have that lazer ready. You’re going to need it soon.

Quattro-Phil Humber; this guy is unreal. He was an afterthought for the White Sox organization, and he is now doing the job that you paid Jake Peavy to do, at a fraction of the price. Peavy is on the DL again. Groin pull this time. I am beginning to think Kenny Williams suffered an injury of common sense or lack there of.

Cinque-Tiger is going to miss the US Open. Managers of Perkins, hide your waitresses. Tiger will be spending a lot of free time.

Sei-Tyrell Pryor, the man who once was a QB at Ohio State, has too many cars, and now made money for signed jackets and merchandise, has decided to leave the university and declare himself ready for the NFL draft. How declare yourself for prison buddy? This whole Ohio State story is becoming more and more disgraceful everyday.

Sette-And top Cub fans, don’t worry you get to play the White Sox soon. How fun will that be?

Pinsiero finale-Someone was telling me that when you buy alarm systems for the home, you have to pay a permit fee in some suburbs. Why is it whenever you do something to better yourself or the environment, you end up paying a lot more for it. For instance, to get a Hybrid car, it costs $10000 more to do so. Organic produce is more expensive. Organic milk is expensive. MY veggie items are expensive. No wonder we’re a nation of fat ass slobs. No one can afford to be environmentally conscious or healthy anymore.

Citazione del giorno- "We understand it's a golden opportunity. Game Five we come here and we play as well as we did tonight, we execute a little better down the stretch, we give ourselves a good chance to win, and go home and be able to close out."-Lebron James.
Yeah you better bounce back buddy! South beach and a few others are counting on you.
M

Fire, Sexting, Prison, and Other Golden Greats

2011-06-07T12:02:00.000-07:00

So are you ready for the freakshow? Let’s do it kiddies.\

Uno-The Boston Bruins whooped the shit out of the Canuckleheads last night. Apparently, Vancouver couldn’t get their teeth into a 3-0 lead due to some great goaltending by Tim Thomas. Sure the Canucks tried to take a player out due to a bad headshot, but they had to chew on the fact they received a 5 minute major and most likely more discipline from the league, even though biting people is OK. In fact, Boston players are asking for the Canuckleheads to bite them. Great final so far. Go Bruins.

Due-Plaxico Burress was released from prison and thanked everyone for their support. Thank for support? Dude, you shot yourself in the leg. You kind of put yourself in this position. It’s not like you were in the hospital getting well. No, you were in jail because you broke the law. You should have just said, I’m happy to be out. Now don’t shoot yourself again, stoner.

Tre-So I guess Carlos Zambrano apologized to Carlos Marmol for blowing his second save on Z’s dime. Why? Big Z was right on. It’s really sad everyone needs to apologize for telling the truth.

Quattro-USC had their national title from 2004 striped away from them due to all the recruiting violations and shenanigans that took place. Some call Pete Carroll a Seahawk, but as far as I’m concerned he’s an eagle and he flew like one as Steve Miller once said. I haven’t heard his name thrown around for this. Reggie Bush lost his Heisman, the team lost the championship, but how is Carroll held accountable? It’s unfortunate. And the sad thing is the team is chirping about how they won the title. Matt Leinart says:

"People can say whatever they want but we still played every game the way we had to … no one will ever be able to take that away. I've talked to a lot of people I played with on those teams and we all say the same thing. Everyone who knows football knows we won those games and we won the title."

You know what dude. Either work on being a real NFL QB, which you still haven’t proven to be, or sit in your hot tub with the beautiful babies. Otherwise, shut the hell up. You may have won the games, but you violated the NCAA rules which mean no trophy to show for it. Now go get Ken Wisenhunt a sandwich, kid.
Cinque-We all remember the Brett Favre scandal with Jenn Steger and him texting pictures of his privates. Well apparently Representative Anthony Weiner has been texting pictures to porn stars, strangers, etc and he is very sorry about it, now that his wife and America have found out about this. I need to ask, women…do you get turned on when guys send you pictures of their penis? Because quite frankly, I can’t see that. Especially when its middle aged men who you have never met, or have little desire to meet. I can’t see myself sending pictures of myself to any woman, much less my significant other right now. It’s pretty dirty and sleazy if you ask me. However, I’m just a well schooled altar boy so maybe I’m in the minority here.

Sei-Shout out to Brent Lillibridge on the White Sox. Never knew you had it in you kid to kick some ass. Nice grab in center yesterday. You make it easier to see guys like Alex Rios, and Adam Dunn get benched. They should get benched and be forced to give up their salaries. These guys are both batting under the Mendoza line, and can’t find a way to fix it. Guess what guys? It’s not early anymore. Production is needed and demanded. Figure the shit out guys.

Sette-And now it’s time for stupidity theatre starring Mavericks bench star who likes to tattoo trophies on himself Jason Terry. Jason, what kind of nugget do you have for us today?

Jason Terry has struggled mightily against LeBron James' iron-curtain fourth-quarter defense, so Terry took the fight to James after Monday's practice with this challenge: "Let’s see if he can defend me like that for seven games.”-From ESPN article written by Jeff Caplan.

Well first off, my young friend tonight is game 4 so there are 4 more potential games left if you’re lucky. Two, if the Heat kicks ass and three if they don’t. So considering he has kicked your ass in three games defensively, I think you’re a little shortsighted friend. Secondly, you are gasoline; Lebron is fire, which usually will end up in an explosion. Let’s just see what happens Jetboy.

Pinsero finale: A lot of talk has been about Lebron James being the best basketball player, even better than his airness himself. Mr. Michael Jordan. And it all comes from Scottie Pippen. Look, no one is a bigger fan of Lebron than me. But Scottie, come on man. First he needs to focus on winning the championship this year. Then we need to see what he does in the future. He is 26 years old, so there is plenty of time for him to catch up to Michael. And furthermore, I am sick of hearing the bullshit about how Lebron couldn’t do it alone, so he left Cleveland. Michael was given a great supporting cast, from Scottie to Horace Grant. They signed guys like Toni Kukoc (The Bulls), Steve Kerr, Will Perdue, and of course hall of famer Dennis Rodman. The Bulls knew what was needed for Michael to excel. He was the man, and once he got that supporting cast, he kicked ass. Dan Gilbert never did that for Lebron. He got him a broken down Shaquille O’Neal and that’s about the best he could do. Lebron had to fight every night just to squeak by victories. Michael is the best, but Lebron is on his way to becoming great in his own right.

Citazione del giorno-“Whoever came up with the slogan for the Peace Corp “It’s The Toughest Job You’ll Ever Love” obviously never had children.”-me last night while making diner.

See ya!!!!! Game 4 tonight, go Heat!!!!!

You Take My Eye Out, My Shot Will Put Your Lights Out!!!

2011-06-06T09:41:00.000-07:00

So guess what? It’s Monday. Time to rock this bitch.

Uno-White Sox, White Sox, White Sox, when can you make us 100% energized about the team. You sweep the BoSox in Boston, but then drop 2 out of 3 to the Tigers who are in the division and are about to take first place. I guess the team to beat has been named. Do you think it might be too much to ask to hand Miguel Cabrera a tequila bottle and call a cop when he leaves the park? Guy is fricking killing us.

Due-Anyone who thought Federer had a chance against Nadal on the orange clay was smoking some whacky shit? Doesn’t everyone know that the French Open is Nadal’s house?

Tre-The Pistons just fired their coach who’s name escapes me at the moment. The city that the Pistons play in also escapes me at the moment as well. Probably because I am pissed at that city for producing a good baseball team.

Quattro-Zambrano’s pledge for peace ended. And here is the money quote:

“We are playing like a Triple-A team. This is embarrassing. Embarrassing for the team and the owners. Embarrassing for the fans. Embarrassing, that's the word for this team. We should know that Ryan Theriot is not a good fastball hitter. We should know that as a team. We should play better here. We stink. That's all I've got to say."

So yeah he called out his teammate Carlos Marmol after Marmol blew a save again for Big Z. Yeah, Zambrano picked the wrong moment to say it. And yes, certain writers are going to write ridiculous bullshit like this one, and this one, and that one, but hey I am all for him coming to the South Side. One thing that Cub fans need to know is he has been one of the bright spots of your bad season. And quite frankly who gives a flying crap what Jim Hendry does, quite frankly he has put this team in the ground, and the little choirboy fan who bought the team didn’t make it right at the beginning of the season like he should have.

Cinque-I didn’t get a chance to comment on this due to my Heat piece last week, but Shaquille O’ Neal thanks for making us laugh and giving us some highlights to remember. Wasn’t much of a Heat fan or basketball fan back in 06, but was very happy to see them win it all, and that was the first time I paid attention to the man known as Flash, or Dwyane Wade.

Sei-Which brings me to the next point, D-Wade keeps playing like he has been playing in the finals, he is going to be Finals MVP. It is becoming a battle of will between him and that big goof on the Mavs. Keep on balling Wade.

Sette-And finally, on the topic of the Heat, don’t poke people in the eyes. You can get hurt. Just ask Chris Bosh as he put the game winning shot in, while Jason Kidd had to watch it go in. Boo-yah mofo!

Pinsiero finale-It was such a great weekend as I spent it with my children. Anyone who doesn’t know, I have been working a part time job for the last three months and since Vic found work, I was able to leave and I am so excited about my children. I thank and praise God every day for the wonderful two daughters I have.

Citazione del giorno-And this moment was awesome on Sportscenter:

Hannah Storm: How does it feel making the game winning shot in your hometown of Dallas?”

Chris Bosh: I didn’t even think of that. I want to thank you for telling me.

HS: Now that you know, how does it feel?

CB: It’s cool.

Miami Herald writer compared Chris Bosh to another South Florida favorite, Ricky Williams (who happens to be one of my favorite players and I can only hope the Phins bring him back, but they probably won’t). In fact, check out the article. Good stuff.

Talk to you all tomorrow.

Confessions From the Bandwagon: Epic and Fickle

2011-06-03T09:25:00.001-07:00

So guys? W-T-F happened? You said no celebration, no champagne, no streamers; apparently no sense either. Well, today I’m going to speak from the heart. No seven item format today.

Why are you trying to take threes when the game could be over? Why are you trying to put on a clinic on field goal shooting? You had them beat, could have shut the door, but didn’t because why? You could have fouled Dirk with one foul to give, but didn’t. You could have had anyone but Bosh covering him, but didn’t. Woulda, coulda, shoulda. Now what are you going to do about it?

As you know, the Dallas Mavericks are everyone’s favorite team since last week. Never in all my life have I seen so much hatred spewed upon a team as I have seen the Miami Heat endure since last summer. All they did was come together to win. All these comparisons to the Yankees are idiotic. The Yankees sign people for gobs of money, these three took less to play together, and to help bring some role players to the team. Lebron James is one of the most unselfish players as he spreads out the ball when he has to, and takes the killer shots when he is able. Yet, everyone piles on this guy about how much of an egomaniac he is. Why? Because ESPN and Nike are polishing his knob. So what? If anyone had these two courting them all the time, they would happily take the money and run.

No what this has to do with is that 5 cities in America felt like they had a chance to bang the hottest girl in high school and got rejected, and that hot girl left her loser ass boyfriend to better herself. Everyone feels jilted. Chicago, New York, Dallas, New Jersey, Los Angeles; so all these cities have teamed up in a futile exercise in hatred along with the big toilet bowl known as Cleveland to let Lebron James know he’s a bad guy. Living in Chicago, I can tell you it is a hostile environment here. If I hear one more Bulls fans talk about the officiating, I’m going to find a real bull and dress the punk in red and watch them run like they were in Spain. Dan MacNeil, a host on 670 The Score said it best. He thinks the hatred from Chicago fans comes from the fact that back in the nineties, everyone complained about Jordan getting all the calls because he was Jordan. Well, now Chicago doesn’t have the superstar anymore and they are getting a taste of what every city in America was complaining about back then. Interesting theory.

Can it be said that the Miami Heat do things a little over the top at times? Sure. However, when you are as good as Lebron and D-Wade, why are you not in your right mind to be over the top? The Mavericks definitely gave the Heat a wake up call last night that they needed. The Miami Heat have to be reminded no matter how invincible they have looked in the last 5 games before last night, they are human, and can be doomed to fail if they let up. Last night, instead of taking the ball to the basket and scoring the majority of points in the paint, which is what they are good at, they decided to put on a 3 point clinic, which they missed the majority of shots.

This is being heralded as an “epic comeback” and everyone has now forgotten that the Heat came back from behind 12 points against the Bulls in half the time the Mavs came back. I’m sorry, I just don’t buy that. You were down by 15 at 6:00 and you did what a good team does, you found a way to get back in the game, and try to win and succeeded. Good for you. If the Heat did that, that’s what they’re supposed to do, but since its Dallas, it’s epic.

Now here’s where the trio can show us if they’re for real, or a zero. Can they bounce back after such a deflating loss? Can they show everyone they learned something from this game? Or will it be like last year when Lebron laid down against the Celtics after allegedly finding out a team mate was knocking boots with his mom? That would be a reason to depress anyone, and no one really wants to bring that up. It’s all about Lebron is the quitter. He can’t close. The Heat are reverting back to 9-8. Blah blah blah. Bitch bitch bitch. STFU for reals people.

I believe the Heat have found that killer instinct, and now’s the time to prove to everyone you have it. You go to Dallas, get out on that floor, and assassinate that offense. Play the great defense we have seen for the last few games, and destroy them. America is waiting for you to screw up so they can laugh, point, and criticize. Even the morons in Cleveland have a “Cavs for Mavs” campaign going on. One thing the Heat have been great about is silencing the clinics, and only three games stand between the Heat and the fun goal of silencing all the haters, but the main goal is very simple. Bring that championship to South Beach and get the dynasty started.

Sure the world may be a better place because the Heat lost last night, but can we count on the end of the world if the Heat wins it all?

No, but I think Cleveland will move itself to Lake Erie like their football team did to Baltimore in the middle of the night.

Let’s go Heat!!!!

I Like the White Sox: I Want My Shot

2011-06-02T13:57:00.000-07:00

Chuck Woolery always said “back in two and two” when they went to breaks at Love Connection. Well if you’re a Sox fan you’re saying “we’re back in five and five.” And after the tough road trip that our boys wearing black just went through, five and five is pretty fricking good. Although they could have taken 2 extra in Toronto, just remember to tell yourself, it’s Toronto. Bad things happen there for the White Sox.

Anyway as we count down the days until we get to beat some National League ass,(they are the shot I refer to in the title) I thought I would put together a little list of the seven National League teams that invoke some kind of feeling from me. So feel free to comment on some of the teams that make you happy or sad, or ecstatic or mad, or indifferent or glad. I feel like I can do a commercial about this crap.

1-St Louis Cardinals-I love a team that has fans who rip on the Cubs worse than we do. In fact, you have to admire the St Louis Cardinals for many reasons. One, they have two premiere superstars on the same team with Pujols and Holiday. Two, their pitching staff (when healthy) is unbelievable. Three, I can’t think of a team who won the World Series with less wins than them, and they beat the Tigers on top of it all. And always remember, Mr. Buehrle may finish his career there, so it’s always nice to have a backup team in the NL to cheer for.

2-Cincinatti Reds-Doesn’t their mascot scream out big time d-bag? I don’t know what it is about the Reds I don’t like. Perhaps Pete Rose was on the team for so long, and I have never been a fan of his. Could it be because they won the 1919 World Series because our players had an arrangement with the mob? Maybe because their logo is unoriginal because they stole it from the Bears. Then again, why should I care? I’m not a Bears fan. OK I know. It’s because they’re in Ohio, and if anyone can tell me anything good about Ohio besides Cedar Point and the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame, I will give you a prize. I have to agree though.

3-Philidelphia Phillies-So their fans are a bunch of morons that want to kill Santa or something like that, but you have to marvel at this team. I can’t think of the last time I saw a pitching rotation like that, but what makes me smile even more is how Cliff Lee turned down the Yankees to join them.

4-Houston Astros-I don’t know about you, but that poor excuse of a ball park means the Astros should automatically get beaned by Tomatoes. Who the hell puts a hill in the middle of center field and some silly ass train in a ballpark? And isn’t the pitcher related to A-Rod. Can’t trust him.

5-Los Angeles Dodgers-I can’t believe how high ticket prices are in Glendale because of this team. First, you move to LA from Brooklyn. So you made everyone in New York pissed. Then your fans beat up people, so people in LA are pissed, and you raise ticket prices at a Spring Training facility, so Chicago gets pissed. How can one team piss off the top three major markets?

6-Florida Marlins-Anyone who knows me knows I root for two teams out of south Florida, and when it comes to the NL, I can’t think of any team I like better. And if you’re a Sox fan, you should feel the same way. Every time the Cubs try to take their talents to south beach, the Marlins remind them they don’t really have any. NLCS 2003, an event so wonderful in Chicago sports history that ranks way behind the World Series win by the White Sox, but just is fun to watch every time. The Marlins have won two World Series in the short time they have been in existence and somehow they always find ways to have competitive teams with small payrolls. You have to admire that.

7-Chicago Cubs-I think this goes without saying but seriously screw the Cubs. Especially with all their nonsensical fans who apparently forgot that the Sox won their World Series a few years ago, unlike them who were a century ago. They are the sheep that are hypnotized by the ivy, and the prehistoric scoreboard. I guess it’s kind of cool they’re not going to games, but now their ridiculous owner is trying to get public money to fix the park. Let me tell you something Tommy boy, if I want to rehab a toilet, I will start with my own. Just tear the place down, and send the Cubs to Iowa where they belong. I can’t even begin to think of more reasons why I hate this team. I’m sure I will write about them for cross town weekend.

There are more, but these were the ones that came to mind. If you have any, please state your reasons below. Thanks for reading.

A Day Late and A Few Dollars Short, Spare Change Anyone?

2011-06-02T13:21:00.001-07:00

Ola. Ciao. Come stas? Come stai?

Uno-Did you see that Jim Tressel resigned? I see a bad moon rising in Buckeye Nation. Too many cars? Too many tattoos? And frankly who cares about merchandise for tattoos? This is kind of silly don’t you think. Tressel thumping his salami like its his bible because he doesn’t know what to do. I remember the outcry of anger when these guys that were suspended played the bowl game this past year. I guess karma always wins doesn’t it.

Due-Pray for Gary Carter. He has brain tumors, but he seems to be OK for now. He was one of my favorites on the Mets. I watched the Mets a lot in the early 80’s and when they went on to win the championship. The Sox were way out of it, and I had WOR TV which showed all the Mets games.

Tre-The Appeals process comes to a halt this week. We can only hope for football to open back up for business. The Dolphins have lots of work to do with free agency.

Quattro-The fake Sox losing two in a row at Fenway to the White Sox. Loving it like Mcdonalds baby.

Cinque-Back to the Sox, that fat fuck Jenks hopefully will get a chance to pitch against us. We’ll clobber him.

Sei-Oh Dirk, you hurt your middle finger. Well, that’s too bad because I still have one, and I’m sticking it up at you.

Sette-Tell me the Miami Heat aren’t the most amazing team ever. Three more wins until that dynasty is born baby!!!!

Pinsiero finale: Lebron James is my hero. That is all.

A Village Brought Back to Life

2011-05-31T09:09:00.001-07:00

Hope everyone had a great Memorial Day weekend.

Remember to take a moment to think about all the people who made it possible for you to enjoy freedom.

Anyway I spent my Memorial Day doing something I thought I would never do again. Two of my favorite childhood memories were going to Santa’s Village in East Dundee, and Kiddieland in Melrose Park. Santa closed its doors in 2006, while Kiddieland closed last year. Very sad. Being a father now, I couldn’t wait to take my children to these two placed as I loved them growing up. Well, this Memorial day, Santa’s Village reopened as an Azoosment Park, and I was ecstatic.

I will list seven things that are awesome about this and it will serve as an informational purpose to you dear reader. You can use this info and be forewarned what to expect at the classic park.

1-This park is gearing more towards little kids. Perhaps 2-12 year olds, which was perfect for Jersey and Avery. Jersey loved it! If you are looking for the bigger rides like the Galleon, Tarantula, Skyliner; don’t be disappointed when you don’t find them. . Three rides that they should seriously consider bringing back are the fire engine, the bumper cars, and the skyliner. We’ll see what happens. One of the employees says that the owner is trying to buy the Racing Rapids property and turning that into a bigger kids area.

2-For all you that want bigger rides, the Tilt a Whirl and the Balloons, two original favorites from Santa’s Village are back and in full swing. I almost tossed my cookies on the TAW because we went twice. They also are building not the Galleon, but a different pirate ship that they adults can enjoy. Plus, a small dragon roller coaster as well.

3-Old Mcdonald’s Farm is back for the most part, but it’s not called that. You can feed goats and lambs, plus ride the ponies. They also feature huge turtles outside of the farm. Plus, where the Skee Ball building was, is not an aviary with little parakeets you can feed. Jersey kept trying to pick up the birds so you will have to keep an eye on the little ones. It was pretty cool. They are also constructing a deer park when the Sleigh ride used to be, and they are working on a sleigh/carriage ride.

4-Kiddieland rides “The Whip” and “The Midge O Racers” are back, so you get a little taste of Kiddieland with this park. Jersey says the Whip is her favorite. They also have a little size Ferris wheel, as well as a mini swing ride. Plus, they have handcarts the kids can ride on in a small circle where the Snowball used to be. The Snowball if I’m correct is in Utica at Grizzly Bear’s Resort. I haven’t heard of any talk to bring it back, but you never know. I spoke to one of the employees there who said they might bring back more Kiddieland rides or similar to that.

5-Another Santa’s Village favorite, the Star Jets are back. The parents can ride on it with their kids, which is really cool. All the buildings are still there. No North Pool or Weather Rocks though which is kind of a bummer. They do not have a working arcade yet either. I am sure as the season goes on, they will try to find a way to fix these small problems.

6-When you come to the park, either plan to go outside or bring a picnic. The prices are reasonable but it took them a long time to bring food up, plus its amusement park food which usually isn’t the greatest. Speaking of price, $16.50 is not a great price to get into the park, so try to find anyway you can to save a couple bucks. For now, due to novelty reasons, it’s not a big deal. Everyone is excited about the park being opened, so we can live with the price for now. However, once they get done adding more rides, it will be well worth it, but they will most likely raise it.

7-They still have the game alley by the Polar Dome Ice Arena. It’s just a shame that pretty much all of Coney Island has been turned into a Paintball field. It looks like fun if you’re into Paintball.

All in all, it’s a good start to bringing back a staple in Chicagoland history. I was pleased by the experience and Jersey definitely loved it. I think Avery liked it too, but she couldn’t really tell me. She liked the animals, and seemed to like the Whip. While she was on the ride, she looked a little nervous, but when we tried to take her off of it, she cried.

I have seriously been contemplating doing a documentary on the park, where it is now, where it was, and breaking down the sale and what went wrong in 2006. If anyone has any film and video skills and would be interested in helping out with this, please contact me.

All in all, check it out if you get a chance. You’ll be glad you did.

Confessions From the Bandwagon: The Mood Has Changed

2011-05-27T10:40:00.000-07:00

Well gee I feel much better now. Yeah I know last time I posted here, I was all angry. Hell I didn’t even remember what I wrote, but guess what? We can all laugh about that now. We can all say “remember when Taj Gibson dunked on D-Wade and all the Bulls fans thought they had this.”

Well now we can say, “have what?”

The revenge tour continues on. First the Boston Celtics lose after defeating us 3 times over the regular season, now the Chicago Bulls, who everyone felt the need to remind us that they beat us three times during the season. Everyone had to bring up “crygate.” Even that big dummy Charles Barkley said the Heat are whiners. Well as Dan Lebatard asked (and I can’t wait to see what this crazy bastard does for this past series) “stugotz Shaq Fu, how do you spell Fu?” Well F U you too Bulls fans. F U you too Barkley. And F U haters. However there is one more stop left on the revenge tour and more importantly, the title. Do you guys remember this crap…

"LeBron has every right to go wherever and do whatever, whatever team he wants to. Going to the Heat was his choice, those guys working together. I don't even have a problem with the three of them working together, as long as they follow all of the NBA rules, which I think they did.
"Where I think LeBron made a mistake, was in how he did it. I don't even have a problem that he had the TV show. But it turned out to be the largest public humiliation in the history of sports. He humiliated the organization, he humiliated the state of Ohio, the city of Cleveland. All of a sudden he became a bad guy, he lost a billion dollars in brand equity, give or take a couple bucks here or there. . . ."

Those are the words of Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban. Who then initiated a tampering investigation just days after that. This idiot got on the microphone after the win over OKC and stated “we’re not done yet.” You’re right. Somehow your silly ass team will lose four games.
So I want to address seven haters one at a time, and talk about how positive things are.

1-

“Big boys don’t cry. But if you’re going to cry, do it in the toilet where no one sees you.”-Phil Jackson.

Yeah Phil you’re right. They just commit flagrant fouls, and rip off their jerseys when it’s over. By the way, didn’t those crybabies beat the crap out of your lousy Lakers this year? Christmas comes to mind especially. And Santa instead of dropping coal in your stockings mistaking them for toilets.

2-

"When they're on the court together, they're terrible. Him and D-Wade don't complement each other. They're somewhat the same type of players, 'Bron and D-Wade. . . . Both of those guys need the ball, and they don't shoot the ball like Ray Allen. That's why they're having trouble scoring in the half-court, because they can't get a rhythm, because one of them is dominating the ball. That guy might be getting off, but the other guy [isn't].”-Tracy McGrady.

And I will bet anyone my house that Tracy Mcgrady will be one of the first mofos in line to play with the Heat next season.

3-

“ Host Rick Kamla started to discuss the loss to the Trail Blazers and noticed that Webber had his hand on his face, pretending to cry.
"Chris, are you okay? Do you need a hug?" Kamla asked.

"No, I'm fine. I'm just misty-eyed," the former NBA forward replied.”

Wow Chris, while you fab five buddy is going down on DUI charges, your other one is winning a championship. So sit behind your silly looking desk and keep up trying to be funny. The only thing that’s funny about you is your career in the NBA. Now cry about that jackass, and continue to witness greatness.

4-

paulpierce34: It's been a pleasure to bring my talents to south beach now on to Memphis
paulpierce34: I told Wade I will **** his mom like how my man D. West did his mans. That’s why I got ejected"

Paulie boy you are so slick with that Twitter of yours. Did you tweet that you got owned? Did you tweet that Lebron killed you and your 2 friends? Did you tweet that the Heat are on the way to the finals? Did you tweet that you crapped in your pants? You probably don’t know how to spell all of that.

5-

"No one cares about the Miami Heat. ... We just want you to play better, stop whining, stop sitting at every press conference like someone killed the family pet. It's annoying. You guys came out there jumping on stage like idiots, said, 'We are going to win five championships.' You brought all this stuff on yourself. So don't get on TV and act like the world owes you anything.”-Charles Barkley

Well the city of Miami cares about the Miami Heat, and many of us fans outside of south beach do too. Who we don’t care about is you baldy mcswingy? Learn how to pick basketball games, swing golf clubs, and live in the glory of never winning a championship no matter how many teams you switch to chump. Didn’t you leave Philly to go to Phoenix to win a title hippo?

6-

But even then, as they’re scuffling, there is a sense of calm about these Bulls. You could see it all night, and then they came out even more comfortable in the 3rd quarter. The Bulls had better pacing all night….they simply know they’re the better team. They walk, and play, and act, and talk, like they know they can beat these guys. And The Heat, well, they have some tendency for panic in them. The pressure is on them.-Matt Spiegel, host on 670 The Score who proclaimed “how easy this was going to be” on air.

Spiegel also performs in a band called Tributosaurus and does ads for the bank of America. His next live read will be “I walked down Michigan Av and just used my Bank of America Smartphone account to pay off all the Heat fans I bet with, and I get all this done just before my next show where I play Boy George and sing Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?”

7-And I save the best one for last, so Carlos Boozer how do you feel about the Heat?

“Asked about facing Miami’s Big Three, he responded, “They have two great players in D. Wade and LeBron. We look forward to the challenge.’’-Sun Times, Joe Cowley.

Well gee whiz gym bag boy, loved your line in the playoffs. So you put 26 points up in game 4. You put in 26 minutes in game 5 and came up with 5 points. You should have stayed in Utah buddy, because this Chicago media is going to eat you alive. In the mean time Chris Bosh is playing for a championship. Get comfortable and watch pal. Preparation H may help you with the welts.
So yes the Miami Heat has moved on. And remember my last post, all those Facebook messages I got. Well they were a little different this time…

"Congrats to your boys, unfortunately they will DESTROY Dallas. Bulls just didn't have enough weapons at the end of the day, I don't like the taste of humble pie..."
"The Heat took advantage of poor play by the Bulls and bad officiating. Congrats."
"Oh go suck a d--k..anybody that paid any attention to this series could plainly see that LeBron James was sucking each and every refs d--k before each game. Hell he didn't even clean his face off good enough tonight for pete's sake. You could totally still see some on his left on his face which was obviously from one of the officiating crew, if not from all of them. Lol "
“It must be nice for such a long suffering Heat fan like yourself... Oh wait... You've only been on that bandwagon for like 8 months. Hard to take your Heat fandom seriously."
"TODAY, yes the BULLS lost it in the end however, the BULLS are a momentum type team and these refs all series long killed any kind of momentum the BULLS were gaining. And this isn't only coming from BULLS fans.. Even the announcers, Reggie Miller, Steve Kerr, and the boys on the set ALL have said the officiating has been AWFUL! It was so obvious even STEVIE WONDER could see it!!!!!! Again, Props to Miami for assembling a team of 2 Superstars and an All Star PF. That's what it took to make it this far. I hope Dallas takes it to them! Now lets see Lebron stop Dirk! Dirk aint 6'2". He's 7'0" with a deadly jumper and 3 pt shot."
"MOVE THE SOX TO MIAMI AND EVERYBODY WILL BE HAPPY!!!! GO MAVS!!!!!!!"

Funny how things change in a week or so huh guys? Just so you guys know I posted every recap of games 2-5 on my page, and ended the night with Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust.” I guess I can see where some of the immature anger came from. No one had an issue with me jumping on a bandwagon when they won the three regular games, now it’s a problem. LOL!

In the meantime, we have the toughest test yet. A very powerful Dallas Mavericks team with a 7 foot monster who can shoot. This team defeated us twice in regular season but that’s over with. Now its time. Four more games! Four more games! Go Heat.
Once again I would like to thank everyone here for being welcoming to me. Especially my friends over at the Phinsider. We need to see the Phins do this too!
Thanks and GO HEAT!!!!

Melting A Rose

2011-05-25T10:59:00.000-07:00

Yo coffin is packed ready to be closed. Can the Miami Wade funeral services be called upon tomorrow night?

In the meantime…

Uno-The Cubs beat the Mets, big deal. What was the thing that tickled me was Carlos Zambrano was a pinch hitter. You know there is something wrong if you need a pitcher to be a pinch hitter. However, Zambrano has proven to be a worth while pinch hitter, so applaud the man for the crazy move.

Due-I am getting tired of hearing about Arnold Schwarzenegger and his love child and how the husband of the mother didn’t know he was the baby. Who cares? Wasn’t he like a huge slut when he was “pumping iron?” Why is this a shock to anyone? Let’s move on please.

Tre-Hines Ward won Dancing With the Stars? Man that sucks. Anytime a Steeler does something good I cringe, because they are just not normal good people. In fact, James Harrison called the NFL morons for making a rule that teams will get fined for flagrant hits. If you want to kill someone, go into a different sport asshole.

Quattro-And now a new tweet from Chad Johnson (Ochocinco):

I talked to this guy last name Riley and he informed me the Heat will win it all

Yeah he knows what’s up.

Cinque-Stan Mikita has cancer of his mouth, but doctors say he will be OK. Get well Stan!

Sei-The White Sox won a very strange game last night. I still don’t know why the game wasn’t canceled. There was a frickin tornado possibly. But good thing they didn’t because Q hit 3 home runs, and Donkey hit one too.

Sette-And finally did you see the greatness that is Miami Heat basketball. They shut down the Bulls yesterday and Lebron did a great job containing Rose. It was so excited I was up jumping up and down. Wade was sleepwalking during the game for the most part, but he came alive in the end.

Pinsiero finale-Yes the Heat have done a great job of shutting the Bulls down in the 4th of the last three games, however don’t ever think anything comes easy. They have 48 more minutes to close the door to their season and move on to the finals. Advice here is, never take your opponent for granted no matter what.

Citazione del giorno-“Everyone has bones, germs, and imagination.”-My daughter Jersey.

See you later.

Come in the Kitchen and Take the HEAT, and Burn!

2011-05-24T09:34:00.001-07:00

So October 21st old man? Man, your parents have any children that lived?

Uno-Can this Sox team ever and I mean ever give Johnny Danks so room to breathe? This guy pitches his balls off and gives you quality start after quality start and yet the most amount of runs the White Sox have scored with him on the mound is 2. That’s just sad man. Just too sad.

Due-Although I hate the Cubs, you can only hope Marlon Byrd is OK after taking that shot in the face. That’s just ugly.

Tre-The White Sox stand 5 games under, and 10 games behind the Indians. However, the National League is coming and here is a list of teams we have. The Cubs, Nationals, Diamondbacks, and Rockies. I expect a problem with the Rockies. We also have a nasty road trip right now as we get Toronto and Boston as well. We get the Twins, Tigers, A’s, and Mariners in between. The Indians stole one from Boston last night, and have two more with them, as well as the Rays and Jays. However they will get the Rangers, Yankees, and Twins and get the Giants, Rockies, Pirates, and Reds in interleague. We can realistically catch these guys by All Star Break. Time to go all in you stone rods and get on top. Their interleague is slightly more difficult than ours.

Quattro-Tampa Bay, you’re killing me man! Don’t let these Bruins take it. The worst thing we can see is a Bruins v Canuckleheads Stanley Cup Final. Then again, two years ago it was Pittsburgh v Detroit two years in a row. I guess it could be worse.

Cinque-Chad Johnson (or Ochocinco) is a Twitter warrior, but does anyone know why he was on a bus going to St Louis on “judgment day?”

Sei-Joakim Noah gets hit with a $50,000 fine for calling a fan a “slur.” Kobe gets hit with a $100,000? What gives? Officials take more precedence than fans. I think we see officials take more money than fans in the past haven’t we?

Sette-And finally tonight, Heat vs Bulls. I am nervous about this one because the Bulls are a desperate bunch right now. They are going to play hard. I don’t want to see the Heat let up for a minute. They need to end this tonight. It is harder to win 3 in a row than 2 for the Bulls. The Heat have the advantage don’t lose it fellows.

Pinsiero Finale-On Sunday night, I thought we might get hit with a tornado. There was a warning around 7:45 PM, and there were reports the tornado would touch down in Huntley. Little did I know, a small town known as Joplin, MO would be destroyed by a massive twister. My thoughts and prayers are with the people of Joplin. Pick up the pieces or your homes and your lives. Good luck.

Citazione del giorno (new)-“They should have relied on God and not me. Family Radio is not in the business of financial advice."-Harold Camping on people who spent money on billboards to spread his claim of the end of the world on May 21, 2011. He says that day was a spiritual judgment on the world and it will now end on October 21 as he originally said. Give it up mister.

See you tomorrow.

Post Rapture Highlight Show

2011-05-23T09:50:00.001-07:00

Well I’m here are you?

I guess the world didn’t end on May 21 as predicted by some people. So here I am writing another blog and I am sure this one will piss some people off.

So let’s rock and roll…

Uno-First I want to touch on my column from Friday, which some people enjoyed and thank you. I do not hate these people who predicted the end. I do not hate Harold Camping. I just feel that it’s a shame that people turned their lives upside down, along with their children which I find completely reprehensible, due to the “equations of a scholar.” Camping speaks later today. We’ll hear what he has to say.

Due-To all Bulls fans and anyone else who has hated on Chris Bosh, who’s hating now? Can’t play? He put 30 points up in game one, and was the mJp player of the game last night. Chris Bosh just owned your ass. Better make a quick adjustment.

Tre-Today Mike Mulligan was talking shit about a fan in Florida who decided to call in, along with the assumption that Dwyane Wade is too slow and not playing well. Haters gotta hate, but this hype thing is no hype. The Miami Heat are for real. Nervous about tomorrow’s game. Let’s do this.

Quattro-Blackhawks signed Corey Crawford to a three year deal. Nice work. Crawford has shown himself to be a promising goalie for the future.

Cinque-Speaking about hockey; I guess the Sharks have some pride and wont allow themselves to get swept. You can win more than one you losers.

Sei-Joaquim Noah, suspend him for a game. He shouldn’t be talking to fans like that.

Sette-White Sox are making some great movement but Cleveland is still in front. We need to play them a few more times. Come on White Sox.

Pinsiero finale: Saw Ray Lewis today on Sportscenter and he said the only thing that is stopping the labor negotiations is the egos of men. Although I think he has a screw loose when he’s on the field, which probably is a good thing for a linebacker, I think he is a well thought out honest individual. I enjoy his one on one interviews. The one thing he said in the beginning is the most important thing is the kids love. When kids love you, everything else makes sense. I am glad I have two wonderful kids who are so excited to see me when I come home from a tough day at work, and I truly agree with him on this one.

See you later.

Oh yeah!!!!

2011-05-20T11:20:00.000-07:00

Today is a sad day as Randy "Macho Man" Savage passed away. The man was one of my favorite wrestlers growing up.

I will always remember three matches with Macho Man.

-Wrestlemania III vs Steamboat
-Wrestlemania V vs Hogan
-His steel cage match vs Diamond Dallas Page

He was an unbelivable talent and I met him once. He was a nice guy.

One of the all time greatest no question.

Macho, walk that aisle. God's waiting.

My Birthday Present From God Himself?

2011-05-20T08:00:00.000-07:00

Today is a special post for many reasons. One, it’s my birthday. Two it’s my 100th post. And three if you want to believe an 89 year old quack, my last post. In case you haven’t heard, and I touched on this briefly last week, Judgment Day takes place tomorrow at approximately 6pm. Jesus will come back and the world will burn and be gone within 5 months.

Now I don’t mean to frighten anyone, I am only telling you what THIS MAN is saying. He has some allies. First I will present you with all their points of view. Keep in mind most of these pretty much fall under the same umbrella.

http://www.familyradio.com
http://www.wecanknow.com
http://www.ebiblefellowship.com

Now I would like to give you some opposing viewpoints by other people as well…

http://www.bible.ca
http://www.realtruth.org
http://www.cultwatch.com/HaroldCamping.html

I tried to find some that are easy to follow. In fact the bible.ca site has a Twitter page and will be tweeting from Jerusalem on 5/21.

When you hear news like this, it is easy to get alarmed, anxious, and panicked. The truth is, when I first heard it I was like huh? I thought the end was 12-21-12. The truth of the matter is as you may have read is the same bible that guarantees Judgment Day takes place this weekend also says this:

But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.

That is Mark 24:32. The bible verse everyone is pointing to refute this claim. The same bible that guarantees that tomorrow will be the beginning of the end.

Can the world end? Sure. It can end at any given time. We are living in an unstable world my friends. We seen our share of natural disasters in the last ten years, we have heard the words nuclear weapons muttered when speaking about the middle east, Korea and China. Many still say that the huge following of Barrack Obama resembles the antichrist movement that we read about in Revelation. This world is unstable. As I spoke last week, I believe we are more aware of world wide events thanks to the thousands of news source available to us, as well as the internet and social networking. This is why few haven’t heard of Harold Camping (the 89 year old quack) and his failed 1994 prediction. He went back to the drawing board like Wyle E Coyote and came up with tomorrow. He is the president of Family Radio, which is a huge media conglomerate in the Christian community. The problem is many Christians don’t agree with Camping’s date setting and some of the other things he preaches as well.

So tomorrow at 6pm the Earthquake should start in New Zealand. Then it will spread throughout the world according to these people when it is stated now only in the book of Mark, but various other places no one knows the hour or the day.

This is why if you heart is with Jesus, it doesn’t matter. Jesus has been a role model in my life for many years, and I am a firm believer that he died to save us all. I believe in good versus evil, and also believe in karma. I can’t say I am affiliated with any religious organization because I find myself questioning many faiths. I can’t tell you’re getting saved or not. It’s not my place to, it is only Gods. All you can do is do well in life, treat people right, and be willing to accept God’s gifts and the ultimate gift of a man who paid the price to save you and everyone else.

We do have troubled times, and we have our problems. For a man such as Harold Camping to come out and convince everyone of this, and scoring a nice crowd of people willing to sell their homes, quit their jobs, even relinquish their savings to put more warnings of the great earthquake that will be coming tomorrow is sad. Many say things like this give Christianity a black eye. I would tend to agree with that, along with some of the judgmental crap some of them spew. God teaches us not to judge as he is the judge. Hey it’s in the bible:

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.-Matthew 7:1-5

And if you a less is more type person:

“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven”-Luke 6:37

Let’s say this happens. May 21 hits the earthquake hits, people go missing. I’m ready. I wish my kids had a chance to do some more fun things and I would love to have the chance to watch them grow up, but who’s to say that doesn’t happen in the kingdom of God?

However, when May 22 comes and many are still here, especially those who gave up everything to let us know of the impending doom. What is Harold Camping going to say to them? Will he take the millions of dollars his radio empire made and help these people get on with life? Will he find jobs for all of those who quit them to support his cause? Will he go on another episode of “Open Forum” and take a call from an angry “follower” who has just informed them that their family is living on the sidewalk after selling their house? And most importantly, will he apologize for being a false prophet for the second time in 20 years?
The answer will be most likely no, and that will be the same if you were to ask me if the end of the world is tomorrow.

Then again, you can’t worry. You can only hope that many of the deceivers stop.

“And as he sat upon the mount of Olives, the disciples came unto him privately, saying, Tell us, when shall these things be? and what [shall be] the sign of thy coming, and of the end of the world? And Jesus answered and said unto them, Take heed that no man deceive you.”-Matthew 24:3,4

If they don’t, well they won’t be able to deceive Jesus. He better than that playa.

Peace be with you, and pray to God to help us all to take his gift of life and do good things with it. Cherish your family, be kind to your friends and neighbors, and always remember who Jesus was, and the impact he had on all of those surrounding him, and think of what you can do to help that spirit shine on.

M

The Two Comebackers!!!

2011-05-19T13:00:00.001-07:00

Total awesomeness in the world of sports lately…

Uno-Congrats to Udonis Haslem. 13 points and 5 rebounds. Not too bad for a guy who sat on the sidelines for most of the season. His contributions contributed to a huge victory for the Heat as they evened up the series, and took away home court advantage from the Bulls.

Due-Charles Barkley called Dirk Nowitzki, the white mamba. Didn’t Stacy King call Derrick Rose the white mamba a few months back? Why does anyone listen to Charles Barkley anyway? He can’t swing a golf club.

Tre-What the hell is going on with the Sharks? Are you going to allow yourselves to get swept again in the Eastern Conference Finals? Niemi says no!!!! Come on guys get your shit together. You got rid of the scumbags, not take out the Canadian trash.

Quattro-I still can’t believe the Washington Redskins sign Donovan Mcnabb, bench him, give him an extension, bench him again, play Rex Grossman, let Rex Grossman walk, and then Mike Shanahan announces that John Beck will be the starter. In the meantime, Grossman who is a free agent says he is expecting to start with the Redskins this year, and Donovan Mcnabb says he wants to play with the Nationals. What position? I’m telling you there is so much weirdness going on in Washington; perhaps Snyder should sell the team.

Sei-This book about ESPN keeps getting better and better. No one liked Tony Kornheiser on Monday Night Football, but apparently Mike Tirrico didn’t like him on it. Here is an excerpt from the book about their relations on the show:

Tony Kornheiser: Early on together I said, "Mike you know what really works well on PTI is when Mike and I talk over each other -" and he cut me off right there and says, "That's a nice little studio show, but MNF is very important, so don't ever interrupt me when I'm talking."... for two years he didn't even look at me.

Wow! No wonder he failed. Teams work better than individuals. Hey remember that failed radio show Tirrico had on ESPN radio that Scott Van Pelt took over?

Sette-And finally, Jake Peavy, you are the man. Yes, I was not happy to listen to you slam yourself for your last pitching performance. However, after Wednesdays complete game shutout with only 3 hits allowed, I am willing to listen to you, you big bulldog you.

Pinsiero finale-Read my thoughts about the “Rapture” and “5-21-11: Judgment Day” tomorrow. You won’t be disappointed.

I Like the White Sox: Any Which Way But Lose

2011-05-18T14:04:00.001-07:00

White Sox fans. The unholy red faced funny guys are headed into our house and we must find a way to defeat them. With the newly found Masterson talent, and that Carmona guy who was rocked on opening day but has gone back to the talent he was before that, we can only hope to limit their issues. However, I have thought of other ways to help. And I will list them here today.

1-I believe it is in Oney Guillen’s best interest to make up his wrongs with this team with the use of the wonderful Twitter. Oney should find a way to get O-Cab to go out with him and get him blasted. We can only hope that O-Cab’s behavior will result in the behavior of another Cabrera guy earlier in the year.

2-Can anyone find a hooker for Grady Sizemore, and a camera? Does anyone remember number 24’s love of cameras a few years ago?. Then again, we won’t have to face him so no biggie.

3-Perhaps if we kidnap Carlos Santana, and replace with him the guitar icon, he can make beautiful music. Just won’t be able to hit, which would be good for us.

4-How about Southpaw gives Shin Soo Choo instructions out of the park? Choo likes getting directions from people, especially cops.

5-Do you think Kerry Wood is really happy with the Cubs? I remember him with the Indians. Can we have that back here please?

6-Where did Travis Haffner come from? You would think he was on the decline but his numbers suggest otherwise. I don’t know what to do with that dude, unless you give him lots of Lemonheads. You can’t eat too many Lemonheads. It makes your face pucker up. I honestly don’t know, but the boy has to be cooled off somehow. Put Exlax in his Gatorade. Do something. I don’t know. Can we strike him out? Hope so.

7-Perhaps this doesn’t help too much, but does anyone ask the question I ask as in a great movie “who the fuck are these guys?” I am sure Tadahito Iguchi is somewhere in Japan saying “they’re shitty.”

Yes, we have two games to win against the first place opponent. We need to knock them down, step on their throats, and then welcome them back again so we can beat them again. Although, Detroit is the one team in my opinion we should be concerned with, Cleveland is on top of the mountain and as an ancient philosopher said once “to be the man, you have to beat the man. Wooooooo.” Or perhaps ancient wrestler who should retire already, take your pick.

Cheers.

Bouncing Back

2011-05-18T13:43:00.000-07:00

So shall we get on with it…

Uno-Brent Morel you are the man. Here I am on a Tuesday night thinking that the White Sox had blown it again. Sure enough, your spectacular defense and game tying home run shut me up. I was so happy the Sox won yesterday, and we need to see them take two victories from the smiling red face stone rods.

Due-Cubs baseball? Ha! It’s fantastic but I am gaining some respect for my rival fans. Many of them are not showing up to games anymore. Good for you. The one so called silly ass calling card you had on Sox fans is now being thrown out the window. You shouldn’t support a team who doesn’t give you hope for the season, especially if it’s based on bad moves by the team.

Tre-This new book about the folks in Bristol has to be good. I read the excerpt about Keith Olberman in GQ, and there is some great stuff there. I think that is hilarious that the slogan for Sportscenter was born out of Olberman’s discontent for anything corporate. I will be reading this book when it comes out, no question about it.

Quattro-I have to say something about the Tampa Bay Lightning here. I am really impressed by this team’s heart. After beating the Penguins and the Capitals, they take a 1-0 lead on the Bruins and almost come back and beat them last night. I am definitely rooting for this team not because they are from Florida, but I love the little engine that could, as long as they are not playing any of my teams.

Cinque-Back to the White Sox, Masterson and Carmona are going to be tough, but the Sox have to win. That is all.

Sei-Speaking about the term having to win, Miami Heat I am looking at you. Please play your asses off and get yourselves a W to make up for that abortion of a basketball game Sunday.

Sette-My hat is off to the Bulls. Although I have the Heat as my favorites, nothing against the Bulls. I like them, I think D-Rose is unbelievable and had Wade or Lebron went to Chicago, chances are they would have been my team. However when you take two of my favorite basketball players, combine them in the same place, and that place happens to be one of the four cities I wish I could move to, how can I not? (Orlando, Tampa, and Oahu are the other 3)

Pinsiero finale-I have to admit, the whole Judgment Day is happening this Saturday thing is fascinating to me. Why? I will discuss on Friday. It will be something you will want to read because not only will it have my crazy opinions, but hopefully you will get something out of it.

Confessions From the Bandwagon: All Heated Up

2011-05-16T14:12:00.000-07:00

OK I have calmed down since last night, but I am still angry.

I may have no right to be since I wasn’t a fan of the Heat back in the day, but I am one now and the way you guys played yesterday was completely inexcusable. So I have seven things to say to you guys moving forward to game 2.

1-Remember this is what you guys talked about back at the AAA over the summer. The championships. If you expect to win championships not playing strong defense, or sacrificing yourself for the team, you will not succeed. You talked about 1-2-3-4 titles.; Where from where I am sitting, if I see another game like I saw on Sunday, not only will I puke, but you will lose.

2-Don’t blame the bench Dwyane when you score less than 20 points and less than 30 combined with Lebron. You guys need to step up and act like the leaders you’re supposed to be. You let Taj Gibson dunk on you dude. Taj fricking Gibson. No one knew who he was until he plastered your candy ass buddy. What the hell happened since Boston where you guys decided to take a dump?

3-Boston may have been a stepping point Lebron, but the guy who put together the defense to stun you is right there on the bench in Chicago. You not only need to surpass Tom Thibodeau, but you need to pass the Bulls to get to the one that matters. The way the Boston game ended, I hope you knew that was not the end, because by the play in the second half you could have fooled us. When you were on one knee, did you think the ride was over? It ends when you have the trophy!

4-Chris Bosh, nice job. Show up like that throughout this series and Boozer doesn’t have a chance. You just need to tell your two boys to show up as well.

5-Do you hear it? Let me spell it out for you…

This just in bulls spank the heat woo! There goes lebron not givin the fourth courter again!"

"It has to piss you off watching the heat just give up and not care!"

"Thats 1."

How about them Bulls??? LOL"

"Well thank you! Especially that Mike called me yesterday and started talking some shit! BOOYAH BITCH!"

"The Miami HYPE!!!"

"did Lebron even play tonight"

"Hahahahahahahaha..that is all:) "

"Great win no question, but its only one. Stay focused and rip this fake team to shreds"

"hmmmm....... ok ill hold back and comments until game 2"

"Is that Lebron's diarrhea after a bad salad. lol"

"The heat just got ramed harder than a Cubs fan on halsted street!"

“12>3”

The world is laughing at you, especially in Chicago. That was my Facebook account last night. Well some of it. Some people really need to work on spelling. Do we prove these stoners right, or do we make hay and kick ass on game 2? They played like they wanted it, do you want it or what guys?

6-Derrick Rose is the MVP, not God. He can be stopped. Figure it out. You had him shut down at 8 points at the end of the half, what happened? You pretty much had the team playing your type of game and if you guys can’t find a way to get more offensive rebounds and second chance points, how the hell do you think you will win?

7-This is the most important. The Bulls lose, its not a failure. No one expected them to get this far. They have nothing to prove. The Heat, epic failure is the Bulls eliminate them. Sure the Bulls are the one seed with the MVP, but you guys set the pace with the celebration. You guys set the pace with the signings. You guys came together with the goal of winning a championship, not beating Boston.

I am a fan of the team, and I will stand by you, as well as the majority of South Florida as well. Make us proud to support you. Even if you lose, play to win and we’ll never hold it against you. Play like you did last night, just walk off the court and forfeit.

You beat the Celtics, great! We’re all happy you did. Beat the Bulls and make us ecstatic.

Thank you.

I Like the White Sox: Fixodent and Forget It

2011-05-13T10:43:00.001-07:00

So what a difference a week makes?

Can I see that play? Can I? Can I? I fell asleep and same on me.

I can’t believe the White Sox won last night. It had to be due to that Jake Peavy guy right?

Anyways, I am in a much better mood now and I can write with a smile on my face. The Sox are 4-2 on this road trip and are slowly crawling back into the race. I don’t want to be too optimistic, but I am happy about the quality of play lately.

Here are seven things the Sox must have done or happened to explain this winning road record (so far, the house of horrors is next.)

1-Alexei Ramirez must have made a trip back to Cuba. There he found Pedro Cerrano and brought a bucket of live chicken out to the west coast, or stopped an the In and Out whichever comes first.

2-Omar Vizquel called upon the spirit of Nellie Fox to see if he could borrow his number instead for better luck. Nellie said no way, so in order to spite the superstar, Omar played better.

3-Jake Peavy pitched and his body is still in one piece. Sure, he’s mad about the runs allowed, but dude, you’re healthy. Stop it!

4-Gordon Beckham thought it may be safe to follow the tradition of Derrick Rose and eat lots of gummy bears before game time. He looks like the type of guy who likes gummy bears. Anyway, he seems to be doing better.

5-I agree, Paul Konerko got some loco legs like they have in the Fresh Beat Band. It’s a show on Nick Jr that my daughter watches. It is quite weird.

6-Adam Dunn decided it was time to stop being a donkey and become a horse. Once he becomes a stallion, we will be right behind you red faced smiling jerkwads.

7-Johnny Danks went to church and prayed that one, the world doesn’t end next Saturday, unless he can get a win. And while he was there, he prayed for that said win.

Final thought: I like how the Sox are playing a hell of a lot better than last time I wrote. I will take my daughter to a game now. It was like you don’t want to take your daughter to a pile of mud that you know is going to become something great. Keep it up and don’t stop now boys.

CONFESSIONS FROM THE BANDWAGON: 8 Games Away

2011-05-12T12:03:00.000-07:00

So hail hail to the Miami Heat, who have exorcised the demon known as the Boston Celtics. See, I have had this little thing in my head. The Beatles had the Magical Mystery Tour, so our “Heatles” have the Magical Revenge Tour.

By dispatching the Celtics out of the race, we have now completed phase one of the MRT. The Celtics as you know were 1-3 against our boys this past season. So it is only fitting you reverse those numbers and add one to display the record of the post season. The second stop is Chicago as they beat us by three narrow margins this past season, and then the final destination would be a rematch of the 2006 Finals against the team who beat the Heat twice this year, the Dallas Mavericks.

Since we need to focus on the task at hand, let’s talk about the Bulls. Of course they have to get past Atlanta but I can’t them losing that series. I have seven reasons why besides the obvious primary reason to get to the finals duh, the Heat must defeat the Bulls.

1-All this talk about Dwyane Wade being a traitor to Chicago. Seriously, we don’t call south Florida Miami Wade County for nothing. This is D-Wade’s team. Did the Bulls really think they had a chance at flash? Many Bulls fans are talking about how D-Wade washed up. Well, maybe not all, but the most I come in contact with are. I live out this way, so I hear it everyday. In the meantime, I still proclaim the Heat as the next great dynasty.

2-Sure Rose you got the MVP. Good job. However, Wade and James are not in this to win MVP trophies. There are here for one reason, to win the NBA Championship Trophy.

3-James Jones or Luol Deng, who would you rather see hit that 3? Once again, winning the 3 point shooter contest is all well and good, but let’s get that trophy.

4-I remember during a regular season, the Bull fans laughed at Chris Bosh suffering a small ankle injury during the first game. Wouldn’t it be nice to see Bosh pull a couple of triple doubles during the series, in Chicago?

5-Coach Tibbs won the coach of the year, and he was on the Celtics last year. Having said that, since we eliminated the Celtics, we need to kick the defensive mastermind square in the balls (not literally guys) but finding all the holes in the defense.

6-Joakim Noah said that Cleveland sucks and made jokes about going there on vacation. How many jokes can you make about going to Miami this time when you get spanked by Lebron?

7-And finally, Lebron is one of the cities that he turned down during the Decision. Therefore everyone is Chicago resorts to calling him Queen Lebron, Lebum, or the every popular simplistic bitch. Time to silence the critics baby!!!!

Final thought-This will be an exciting jaw dropping series. They need to find a way to take Rose completely out of the game, and put the ball in the hands of the other guys who have been inconsistent in the other playoff games. With a little of that Heat defense, we should be able to make life difficult for them, but this will be a tougher test than the Celtics. The Celtics had one guy playing with one arm, and were tired out. This Bulls team is ready to play ball. However, we need to shut them down and get four steps closer to that prize.

Next Saturday is the End?

2011-05-10T13:04:00.000-07:00

So I just found out today, next Saturday will be the beginning of the apocalypse. The ones who follow God will be saved, and everyone else will survive and live in torment of the 5 months of hell as the World will be wiped out. Now I believe in God, and anyone who knows me knows Jesus is my hero in more ways than anyone can imagine, but if this is true, I think a few things will be ruined. They say seven is the holy number so I guess I’m on the right track.

Uno-We need to see the Bulls and Heat play each other in the playoffs, because everyone knows the Heat will kick ass. God hopefully is a fan of basketball, and seeing as this series will be a slobber knocker, perhaps plans will be put off until later. Although I am sure we can watch the game in heaven.

Due-The White Sox are due to win the World Series this year. We need to witness the greatest sports turnaround ever in a single season.

Tre-I never want to see this, but don’t the Cubs have to win a World Series before this climatic event?

Quattro-Someone needs to break the record of an undefeated football season currently held by the 1972 Miami Dolphins. I would think it could be the 2011 Miami Dolphins, but we can dream, unless times up.

Cinque-If you ask Rex Ryan, he would tell you the Jets will win a superbowl. Having said that, I think this 5-21-11 thing could be for real.

Sei-Important reason: my kids need to go to school obviously. In fact, all my friend’s kids do too.

Sette-The Blackhawks need to win another cup.

Pinsiero finale-OK, a loving God may not wipe out the world, but the world is not a nice place. There are many corrupt, dirty people out there, and many bad things have happened. We have seen the goings on in churches, along with the claim that God left the church in ’88 and some 23 year period and quite frankly we have seen lots of bad things in churches. We also have been exposed to many tragedies and disasters as well. However, this is nothing new as things like this have been going on for years. The truth is the communication age has exposed us to our world more so than ever before. When something happens you hear about it instantly via Smartphone, twitter, etc. I honestly can say that I believe the passage in Mark (that is if you believe the Bible) about how no one knows when the end is coming. I agree.

If the end comes on 5-21-11, it will be a day after my birthday. And I can say, God has me penciled in. I am not perfect without sin, but you can only ask to have sin removed and learn from it.

Then again, who defines what sin is?

Too much stuff for you today. Apologies.

Whatever you do, live your life right, don’t hurt people, and if we can all be the compassionate person Jesus was, we’d all be better off.

M

Kobe Should Jump in A Lake with Phil

2011-05-09T08:15:00.001-07:00

Hope all you Mothers had a nice Mothers day. On with the show…

Uno-First off, did you ever go to Arlington Park on Mothers Day. It’s a zoo and I have been doing it for many many years. I almost won every race I bet yesterday, I just made some last second changes. So piece of advice: don’t ever change your bet the first time. Stick with your gut and don’t let anyone scare you.

Due-The Lakers. LMFAO! You guys were supposed to three peat or something like that. Instead, Ron Artest becomes the bitch we all know and loved, Kobe looks like a blubbering idiot, Lamar Odom and Andrew Bynum look like a bunch of douche bags with their flagrant fouls in the 4th, and then look there’s uncle Phil. Going to Montana and smoking peyote as Dallas Coach Rick Carlisle said. The Lakers are done dude. Phil is retiring and that team is going to get blown up. I think the Heat should go after Gasol as he doesn’t want to be there anymore.

Tre-Speaking of the Heat, that was an ugly loss on Sunday. First off, to the reporter that said Dwyane Wade hit Rajon Rondo with a cheap shot, Lebron is right! Secondly, as inspired as one can be by the Celtics play, I think the Heat realize what needs to be done, and they will find a way to do it. Third, I still hate the Celtics. Thank you God bless.

Quattro-I did not expect the see the Bulls blow the game in the fourth last night nor did I expect to see Atlanta tie the series 2-2. Do you think the Bulls can finish this?

Cinque-The Lightining have advance to the conference finals and get the burly Boston Bruins. I don’t think the Preds are going to beat the Canucks. However for the love of God, don’t let the scumbags come back on the Sharks. Please San Jose, don’t have one of your famous playoff meltdowns again.

Sei-And hats off to the White Sox who have won their first series on the road since, well opening day. Congrats men of black and white. Here’s to righting the ship and getting back in there.

Sette-And I got into the drinking Vitamin Water kick, because I thought it was healthy. Now I find it is not. My heart is broken and with 125 calories per serving, I think we need to rethink this.

Pinsiero finale-I had such a nice day with my family yesterday, and I am hoping to have many more.

That’s all. Stay gold.

M

I Miss Mom

2011-05-06T09:33:00.000-07:00

Once upon a while there is always someone special that you meet
That always says that special something to keep you on your feet
That is there to wipe your tears, cheer you up when you have that bad day
Tell you that she knew you could when things go your way
It is just such a blessing when a person like that gives you a life
A caring person, a supermom, and one hell of a wife
You live with her as good friends, can tell her anything
When all goes wrong, she would help no matter what kind of thing
She'd do whatever it took to make the world smile
She was tough, stubborn, and a fighter but that was just her style
But the day comes when she must go to add to heaven's light
Leaving us behind on Earth, but never out of sight
We may not see but always feels every move she makes
But we cannot live in sorrow for our loss no matter what it takes
So while she meets St. Jude, and we continue on with this life
You know that she be there to always shine that light
And even though at this moment our lives are filled with pain
Just always remember, my Mother's blood is always in our veins
And while her body passed, and her family left to mourn
We must rejoice to know that my mother is reborn
So just remember one thing, all her family and friends
Her body may have died, but her spirit never ends
One day we'll meet again, in a land far away
My Mother Mary Rita, she'll be with us that special day

MARY RITA CASACCIO 1952-1999

Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers out there. And to all the sons and daughters never take that for granted.

The Crazy Shit in My Head

2011-05-06T07:53:00.001-07:00

So today, instead of covering sports, here are 7 things that went through my mind in the last 24 hours I would like to share with you.

Uno-So on the Score I am hearing commercials about lawn seed companies battling each other and bad mouthing the other company. Scotts and Pennignton lawn care apparently really want you to use their product and not the other guys. It’s making me laugh that grass seed companies are fighting each other with such ferociousness. The funny part is it sounds really lame.

Due-Why doesn’t Mcdonalds have Chocolate Ice Cream? They have Chocolate Shakes but no ice cream. Jersey was upset and I had to go down the street to 31 flavors for her. I asked for a kid’s size, and they gave me the whole bucket.

Tre-Still trying to wrap my head around the fact it cost me $72.00 to fill up my car with gas. This time last year it cost me $48.00.

Quattro-Why don’t my kids ever want to sleep?

Cinque-To all dudes who are in the locker room, please wear a towel instead of walking around naked. I don’t know about you, but that’s just rude. No one wants to see things hanging out, and I’m not just talking about your dick either.

Sei-I am thinking the Sox come out of this west coast road trip 2-9. I don’t know about you.

Sette-Anyone know how I can get more followers on Twitter so more people can read this wonderful blog I write.

Pinsiero finale-I decided to write down random thoughts today rather than sports because I thought you should see what I think about every once in a while. That’s all.

Have a wonderful weekend.

M

I Like the White Sox: The Program

2011-05-05T09:00:00.001-07:00

I’m sorry, but it has now hit rock bottom.

Sox fans, we are in a state of addiction to a bad baseball team. Normally people don’t watch something so terrible without drinking (don’t believe me; look at the North side for the last 100 years.) However, it is time for us to exorcise our demons, and come clean. I give you the seven steps to being a fan of the 2011 Chicago White Sox.

Step one-We admitted we were powerless over the lure of the fireworks. Yes every time someone from the White Sox hits a home run, we love to see the fireworks. When the Sox win, there are fireworks as well. We need to see them again, or we will never recover.

Step two-We turned our fandom over to a higher power. If you take a look at the hierarchy, Mayor Daley (and yes he is still the Mayor right now) is a Sox fan. Governor Quinn is a Sox fan. President Obama is a Sox fan. So one can only assume God is a Sox fan as well. God would never allow such a travesty to continue. Sure the Sox have the worst record in the league right now, but if we and the team turn over our fandom to God that surely will not happen anymore.

Step three-We made a moral inventory of ourselves as fans. The White Sox are our team through thick and thin. Sure things may be bad now, but remember that this is April and May, and for the last 4 years, April and May have royally sucked. But the two teams that are on top, we kicked their asses. Well maybe not, but we won. In fact the two loses at Progressive this year came at the hands of the Sox. Therefore, we will defeat the red faced laughing guy, and we will defeat the Blue Crown as well.

Step four-We are entirely ready to have our shortcomings removed by Kenny or Ozzie. This means that Juan Pierre needs to become a vendor for a week, as long as he doesn’t drop anyone’s money for beer. Gordon Beckham needs to take a field trip to Charlotte to remind him how he got here. AJ Pierzynski needs to play catch with the kids in the street, and sure Adam Dunn can be my first baseman…well I don’t know if we’re there yet. By the way, does Greg Walker count as a shortcoming?

Step five-Make a List of all those we harmed and be willing to make amends to them because at least they are trying. Carlos Quentin is playing well right now, and we called him names last year and the year before that too. Paul Konerko was equated to a Disney character by someone who me thinks runs this place. That wasn’t so nice either, considering he is holding this team together with scotch tape with his home runs. I think that is it. Please add if you can think of anyone else.

Step six-Promise to make direct amends to our team wherever possible, meaning when they get their heads out of their “all in” asses. We will stop booing because booing is mean, but only if and when the White Sox stop playing like the sacks of shit we have been accustomed to seeing them play like for the last month or so.

Step seven-Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for Ozzie Guillen and His Merry Gang of Stonerods the power to carry that out. Look, once again, we need to pray because like MC Hammer said when I was a youngin, that’s the way we make it today. Pray for the White Sox, and pray for the fans that have been damaged in this process. Including yours truly.

Final step-Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to other White Sox fans who feel despair -If you see a fellow White Sox fan as upset as you and I, don’t fault them. Spread these steps to them and allow them to feel the love of our fandom. Pick him and her up, and hold them close. Especially if she’s cute. And tell them it’s going to be OK. We are less than 35 games in, and the White Sox will find a way to surprise us all.

If that will be in a positive or negative way remains to be seen.

Let’s go go go White Sox; we’re with you all away.

The Chairs the Sox Sit in Are HEATing Up

2011-05-04T08:17:00.000-07:00

I’m happy, I’m sad. I am feeling mixed emotions.

Uno-That no hitter that happened last night was the straw that broke the camels back. Unreal. This guy has a 9.13 ERA and the White Sox couldn’t get one God damn hit on him. (You can’t say God damn in the blog.) Who gives a shit no one is reading anyway?

Due-It was so pretty watching the Heat own the Celtics once again. I hope they can put them away in Boston, but hey, one can dream.

Tre-Read a story on Deadspin today about Shin Soo Choo getting a DUI. Although DUIs are not funny, this made me feel better because in case you didn’t know, he is an outfielder on the Indians. That same Indians team that wasn’t supposed to do shit that is first place in the central right now.

Quattro-Joe Cowley makes me laugh. Here are a couple of tweets from him last night during the no shit no hit last night…

cst_Cowley cst_Cowley
Fight in the Twins dugout!!!

cst_Cowley cst_Cowley
The Twins starting pitchers are fighting each other for the right to get the start against the Sox tomorrow.

cst_Cowley cst_Cowley
Weaver I get, Verlander, C.C., OK. But to have the pitcher formally known as Liriano treat u like J Foster in the Accused, hard to swallow.

cst_Cowley cst_Cowley
Can't wait to read Phillip's column on how John Ely could have broke up Liriano's no-hitter if the Sox wouldn't have moved him.

cst_Cowley cst_Cowley
I want to thank the greatest sports editor around in C. DeLuca for promoting off this Godforsaken beat before it hit the ice berg.

Yes I remember last year a twitter war with Oney kept me in good spirits about the team. They have to turn this thing around.

Cinque-This feeling of emptiness with the Sox is killing me. If we were going to get no hit, why oh why against the Twins?

Sei-Back to the Heat game, which is happier. Lebron scored 35 points. The so called big three scored 36 together. Choke on that chowderheads.

Sette-And Derrick Rose won the MVP, which apparently Bull fans are so proud of, and once again Leborn is a bitch. Let me share Ira’s column in the Sentinel a little piece to put you all in perspective:

James, who had won the award the past two seasons, this time not only finished third to winner Derrick Rose and runner-up Dwight Howard, but actually was omitted from nine of the five-player ballots submitted by the 121 voters. His answer was a 35-point, seven-rebound performance that included a key third-quarter scoring burst fueled by a pair of 3-pointers and a particularly aggressive stance in the fourth quarter. He scored 24 of his points in the second half.

Then there was Wade, who placed seventh in the MVP vote, left off of 111 ballots. He closed with 28 points and eight rebounds, providing life when needed most in the first half.

And, yes, they knew about the balloting -- and snubs.

"We just had this conversation in the locker room," Wade said as the two settled in for postgame interviews. "But at the end of the day, we don't really play this game for individual rewards."

The two then shared a smile before Wade continued.

"Our body of work," he said, "speaks for ourselves."

And most likely a longer run in the playoffs if the Heat keep getting it done.

Pinsiero finale-Thought I would share with you a horrible story I found out about. It was about a vendor at PNC Park suffering a heart attack. A 17 year old approached the car and you can read what happens next.

Humanity is embarrassing at times. Continue your quest to rise above to greatness as I will too.

Take care.

M

Where's the Body Pal????

2011-05-03T07:29:00.001-07:00

Are you ready kids? Let’s rock and roll.

Uno-Congrats to the White Sox for stopping that huge slide at home. Buehrle pitched well. Paulie hit 2 home runs. I know I said this before, but let’s hope this will lead the charge to a much better season. I can’t think of a better way to turn things around than beating the crap out of the Twins the next two nights.

Due-Memo to Steve Rosenbloom. Dude I love you. You were a nice guy when I met you, but man, your column the other day was a total overreaction. I know we hate saying the “it’s early” talk and there’s the question of when it becomes “too late.” But this division is still up for grabs. Remember that the two teams that have winning records in the AL Central were only able to beat the Sox one time a piece. We get to play them and other divisional opponents many times. The Sox have to turn this thing around. There is too much talent on the team not to succeed.

Tre-Lakers lose game one, again. As funny as that is, I can’t honestly say they are gone. What’s with Kobe shaking his finger yesterday? You lost punk. Sit down and shut up.

Quattro-Thinking about this Osama Bin Laden thing, where’s the body? How come we don’t get to see it? We’re supposed to take your word for it that he’s dead. I don’t know man. This is funny and convenient timing man.

Cinque-The Bulls really are looking like Cavs 2.0. If Rose isn’t playing, do they find ways to stink up the joint? Never in a million years did I think they would lose to the Atlanta Hawks on their home court.

Sei-Can we please put this Prince William and Kate thing to bed? They’re married now great. You know when I saw them on that balcony, I could only think about the scene in Spiderman where they are out on the balcony and the green goblin attacks the crowd, if that happened I don’t think I would feel sorry for them. I personally thought the days of royalty were over.

Sette-Good luck to the Heat tonight. Make this a 2-0 series and step on those bastards throats and never let off.

Pinsiero finale: If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears the sound, did it actually fall?

Ciao for now.

M

Heat Win, Osama Dead, Sox Still Suck, Nice Weekend

2011-05-02T07:42:00.001-07:00

So what a weekend. Let’s talk about it.

Uno-Thumbs up to Coach Tom Thibodeau for the Bulls. He got the Coach of the Year and he rightfully deserved it. He has this Bulls team focused, on the same page with him, and helped to bring them to an elite status as well.

Due-Paul Pierce, I know back a few months ago “it was your pleasure to bring your talents to south beach.” Now I will ask, was it nice getting your ass thrown out of there?”

Tre-Dwyane Wade, thanks for remembering the playoffs were happening and coming with your A game yesterday.

Quattro-I really don’t know about this White Sox team anymore. 15 out of 18 loses is not good. I haven’t lost hope but the door is closing fast. Cubs are in the same boat. Chicago needs a third baseball team I think.

Cinque-Did you see James Jones come up with 23 points in the game with the Heat yesterday? My man!

Sei-The new juggernaut for the Western Conference in basketball, the Memphis Grizzlies. The new juggernaut for the East in hockey, the Tampa Bay Lightning.

Sette-The Miami Dolphins picked some interesting characters in their draft. They got a twin whose brother plays on the Steelers, a running back who is slow, a receiver who is very fast but has difficulty with routes, and a guy who served 2 years in jail. Anyone who tells me the Dolphins are playing it safe are out of their mind. They didn’t even draft a QB. That’s just risky in my book.

Pinsiero finale: Look. I like lots of you saw on the news that Osama Bin Laden was killed. And I saw many Americans dancing in the streets about this news. I will have to say although this event brings closure to many of us, I personally don’t believe dancing in the streets for any human being dying is not the greatest thing in the world. The man was evil yes, however how do we feel when we see Middle Eastern countries dance and laugh when something happens to us? Not good. Now we are on the TV looking like joyful morons while the terrorist world watches. Closure is good, justice has been served, now let’s let it go. Brace yourselves, this man is draped in martyrdom now and I would expect attacks to happen. Let’s hope our government knows what they’re doing. Nevertheless, I feel a sense of relief and I can say a real form of evil has been eliminated. Thumbs up to the military for ending this,

Anyways happy Monday and we’ll talk tomorrow,

M

I Like the White Sox: The South Side Circus

2011-05-02T07:19:00.001-07:00

Everyday I like you watch the White Sox, and everyday like you I hope that this will be the turning point, but yet everyday like you, I witness the hapless bad comedy show that is our team. To make matters worse, the two teams that no one picked to lead the division are up there kicking ass, while we’re down here making complete fools out of ourselves as every game goes on. More pitching implosions, more stranded base runners, more defensive miscues, I don’t know how much more I can take of this. So I decided to come up with seven solutions to help the White Sox improve.

1-Take Gordon Beckham to an Outfield reunion concert. Then again, who the hell were they? Didn’t they have one song that Beckham used to come out to? I remember Paul Konerko recommended to him to change his at bat song. It was Metallica Seek and Destroy for a while. Perhaps he should select some Slayer. It may work out better. I don’t know which song, but Mandatory Suicide would be a nice pick. Has a nice opening riff.

2-Matt Thornton needs to go to Arizona to visit his special friend. Do you remember that bro-mance that Thornton used to joke about with J.J. Putz? Well, there is no bromance for Matty anymore. This could be the reason why he is giving up Cadillacs and Beamers every day he takes the mound. I guess Jesse Crain is not as cuddly as Putz is.

3-I think that Danks and Humber should start kicking it like the rest of the starting rotation and just give up the game early. What’s the use of pitching your ass of when your team is going to fail you anyway?

4-If AJ wants to catch baserunners stealing; he should light the cannon and aim towards second base, not try to hit pitches off of it.

5-Alex Rios should get paid only $10 for the season. Every time he gets a hit, give him back a little bit more of the contract.

6-Can we get our Jim Thome back? Version 2.0 is a donkey and can’t hit as much. Nice homer yesterday though. I’m glad the guy we signed to replace the hydra is tied with the little guy for home runs on the team.

7-I would say fire Greg Walker, but I think that one has been covered if not this year, few before.

Yes I know I’m being silly but what else can you do? Our team flat out sucks ass right now. I have to disagree with our fearless leader, they are not boring. In fact, it’s getting to be straight up comical and you have to ask yourself, how are they going to blow this game now? You could make it a contest in the Sun Times. Instead of a pick to click, you can do click to pick, the stoner of the game. In fact, we should have a stoner of the game. What’s the use of having a player of the game? Find out who gave the game up this week.

I said this last year, and I will say it again. Perhaps the meetup will be the turning point. It was the last two years if I’m correct. All I know is when people say, it’s only May, its like. Yes and if I have to watch another 4 months of this shit, I’m going to jump off a bridge.

Anyway, they can do it, right guys? Make a list and accomplish goals.

• Stop fucking up
• Hit the ball
• Catch the ball
• Run and score
• Catch Detroit
• Catch Kansas City
• Don’t let Minnesota back in
• Catch Cleveland
• Win division
• Win LCS
• Win World Series
• Have a parade
• Smile at Cub fans
• Repeat next year

Go White Sox!!!!!

Wait, see, trade or pick...Get that second

2011-04-28T09:13:00.001-07:00

Thursday, I don’t care about you…

Uno-Rex Ryan wrote a book called “Play It Like You Mean It.” In it, he talks about players he doesn’t like, why he hates Tom Brady, and how the Jets are going to win a Superbowl. Considering the fact he does this every year, anyone who would pay for this book is a dumb ass considering you can get the same shit for free on ESPN on a regular basis during the winter.

Due-Draft day is tonight. My feeling on the draft is this. Try to get Blaine Gabbert if he falls to 15. If not trade down with the Bears and try to recoup a second rounder, and with the Bears pick (I state the Bears because their needs are on their line and they have a better shot at a LT at 15 than 29), take Ryan Mallet all day if available. This team needs a quarterback. Can Chad Henne be the guy? Maybe he might fare better with a better offensive coordinator, but he needs to earn the job.

Tre-Tampa Bay beat Pittsburgh. I feel compelled to root for them since the Hawks are out. Congrats to them!!!! Plus they’re from Florida.

Quattro-The Heat finally closed out their series with the Sixers last night, and it was a nail bitter to the end. I really hope that was not the best they had because they will need better when going up against the Boston Celtics. The Heat need to bring their A game. And Lebron, forget about Delonte West. Smack that ho on the court and send him home so he can hook up with KG’s mother this time instead.

Cinque-The White Sox are looking slightly better. I am happy to see that. Although Buerhle gave up the 3 run banger yesterday, the Sox showed a little more offense, but it seems we have gone from bats gone cold, to leave them stranded. No way in hell should we leave an inning with bases loaded no out against Bartolo frickin Colon.

Sei-It was nice to see the judge remove the lockout. Now only if they can find away to make it go away as soon as possible. Miami needs to make some moves via free agency. As quick as possible.

Sette-I don’t know who to take in the NHL playoffs. I did say I would root for Tampa, but I can’t see them pulling off the miracle they did years ago. Realistically speaking, this Nashville vs. Vancouver matchup will be the most intriguing out of all, and I am hoping Nashville dispatches the annoying Canadians please.

Pinsiero finale-So my project I was hired for begins this week. I am excited and one thing I can tell you is this: trying my best and failing will be better than not trying at all, but the best part of that is failure is not an option. So I’m going to rock this puppy!

Talk to you tomorrow.

Ode to the Mad Dog

2011-04-27T08:01:00.000-07:00

Being a Dolphins fan, I didn't get a chance to see Jim Mandich play. That was a long while before my time. But he did play on a team that never lost a game a little bit under 30 years ago.

About four years ago, I signed my girlfriend up to Sirius Satelite Radio, and found out that all the NFL games are on. So when I found out I can hear all the Dolphins games on Sirius, I got excited and felt for the first time in my life, I could really follow my team rather that read the papers and wait for the 3-4 games that came on TV here in Chicago. That is when I met the trio of Jimmy Cefalo, Joe Rose, and Jim "the mad god" Mandich.

I loved listening to three of them. Especially Mandich, he was nuts. I just remember everytime something good happened, he sounded like all of us. An excited fan happy to see what his team has done. His ever familiar "awwwrigght Miami" always was in my mind, especially when I watched them on TV.

As a member of the community, Mandich was everywhere. He touched the hearts of everyone he met. Although I was not one of those fortunate to meet him, I will never forget how he made Sundays for me fun and kept me as a lifetime subscriber to Sirius, and how his personality on the air would make me smile. He may have lost his battle to cancer, but he won the hearts of everyone he met.

Thanks Mad Dog. May you rest in peace.

And Sometimes the Bar Eats You

2011-04-27T07:47:00.000-07:00

Not a happy day today as you will see below and a seperate article I wrote discussing the passing of a legend. But I will try.

Uno-Congrats to the Chicago Bulls for finally showing everyone why they are the one seed in this thing. Their convincing victory over the Pacers and effectively dispatching them out of the playoffs should put a lot of questions to rest. Especially about Derrick Rose being the one man show. Will it be Orlando or Atlanta? Inquiring minds would like to know.

Due-What a buzz kill to be a Chicago fan. You watch the Bulls eliminate someone from the playoffs, only to see the Blackhawks blow it in overtime with a turnover and a missed power play opportunity. I will say this. The last week was some of the most fun I had watching the Blackhawks. Thank you guys, and thanks for winning that cup last year. Let’s do that one again sometime. Maybe next year.

Tre-Tomorrow is draft day which is huge. The Dolphins are at number 15 and I’m sorry. They need a quarterback. They need someone to push Henne to the limit. The competition needs to happen this year, and who’s to say that Thigpen will even factor into the equation.

Quattro-Brandon Marshall getting stabbed by his wife. I don’t know what happened there. Perhaps he wanted white wine and she wanted red, and she would do anything to get it. Many people are saying that Brandon Marshall should be held responsible for this. (Marshall’s wife says the stabbing was self defense.) We don’t know why he lied about the stabbing, but nevertheless we saw this relationship go bad years ago. Perhaps its time for him to move on. His career might depend on it.

Cinque-Speaking of football, anyone find it laughable Mike Martz thinks he’s in line for a raise and he turned down his extension offered to him by the Bears because of that reason. Obviously the extension did not include the raise. Yeah Martz. Your offense was really good. If I had the luck of playing teams with significant injuries, I would look like a genius too.

Sei-Tonight is hopefully the night the Heat take care of business. Word to the Heat. Do the zombie stomp on the Sixers from beginning to end. Don’t come out slow, don’t run out of gas. Just put the pedal to the metal and crush them. Then get ready to take out those three shitheads and their little bitch from chowder country on Sunday. Thank goodness we’re at home.

Sette-The White Sox have a new closer, and he doesn’t pitch. His name is Brent Lillibridge. Amazing catches by that boy last night in the Bronx. However, Sergios Santos is my vote. He has two saves. Correct me if I’m wrong, but are those the first two saves of the season for the Sox.

Pinsiero finale-If we can take something out of the thrilling series between the Hawks and the Canucks, there are two things for both teams that relate to real life. For the Canuckleheads, it took them three times to finally eliminate the Hawks from the Stanley Cup playoffs. Don’t quit. You can accomplish what you want to if you keep trying. And the Hawks, don’t ever give up. If you lose or fail, you always have another time and place to make good.

I promise you the Hawks will make good next year. One goal baby!!!!

M

PS-Dr. Phil was on Mully and Handley this morning on 670 The Score. Dude it was only a hockey game. We don’t need therapy. Come on now.

Can't Hang My Head in Shame

2011-04-27T07:23:00.001-07:00

Normally when I write these things, I usually use seven bullets. And I may do that later today since I missed yesterday. However I wanted to take a moment and reflect on the Hawks.

You see, this whole season you had so many people question the decisions of management. Some rightfully so; others not so much. The Hawks got really lucky letting a guy like Niemi walk, and to have that decision washed away be the emergence of Corey Crawford.

No Dustin Byfuglien there to stick in front of Luongo. But really? Do you think you could have sat through another regular season with him? He had a great run in Atlanta. And perhaps Duncan Keith was tired. Perhaps Seabrook could only do so much. Hossa’s injuries piled up. The void of no Dave Bolland for the last month or two. Many factors this year can be attributed to the Blackhawks not being as strong. Sure no Eager, Ladd, Burish, etc. We’re stuck with John fricking Scott.

But tell me that the last week wasn’t the biggest highlight of the season for you. Other than that eight game win streak that came to a halt in Florida. This team showed Vancouver, showed everyone the heart of the champion is still there. This team showed that they will not be written off. This team showed us character, will, determination, and inspiration. Sure the Hawks may be gone for now, and the Canuckleheads have their dog pile thinking they won the Stanley Cup. But the future looks bright.

Remember this friends; the Hawks brought home the cup last year. The cup returned to Chicago after a 49 year long wait. I can promise and speculate that us Hawks fans won’t have to wait that long for the next. There are no obstacles. There are no dollar bills. There are just months. Months waiting until we get to watch our guys get back out there and try this again.

God bless the Blackhawks. You gave me the second best week of watching hockey this week. Sure I didn’t enjoy the outcome, but I’m sure you will make it up to us and yourselves sometime really soon.

The Sedins Mother Did a Beaver

2011-04-25T09:14:00.001-07:00

So let’s take a look at this weekend. Pretty interesting if I say so myself.

Uno-Nothing says brilliance like a huge victory for the Hawks on Friday night. The pounding they gave the Canuckleheads reminded of when I got bullied by the same kid for years and finally stood up to him, got the best of him and every time the clown came back for more, I would be more than happy to oblige. This Luongo guy has given up 10 goals in 2 games. Don’t worry; we will get to last nights gem in a little bit.

Due-I have to tell you, I love the Heat, but I still have a small place in my heart for the Bulls considering they’re from Chicago, and Joakim Noah’s my guy. The loss on Saturday was the best thing to happen to them. They will regroup and do what every Bull fan is waiting for, a big kick in the teeth to Indiana.

Tre-Speaking about kicking, I am growing quite tired of the Heat’s reluctance to shut down the opponent. There was no reason yesterday for Philly to be up by 19 points in the first quarter yesterday, and still no reason to let Lebron close out the game. Dwyane Wade is the closer on this team, and if you want a player to finish the job, D-Wade all day. Lebron, you are the locomotive and D-Wade is the engine. Let him finish the job. And Mike Bibby, you’re supposed to score more than 2 lousy points pal.

Quattro-Can someone please get the White Sox some help? Anyone? Every April it’s the same thing with this team. Bats go cold? We make pitchers like Scherzer and Penny look like Cy Youngs. Yes, they will hit. Yes they will get better. However, I’m a little nervous considering the Yankees are up next.

Cinque-Kenny Williams is taking questions today at Yankee Stadium. My first question for him, so who was the comedian you were watching back last year when Oney told us?

Sei-Adam Dunn, you’re known as the big donkey. Yeah you’re playing like a jackass. Here’s his line: 55 at bats, 8 hits, 10 walks, 24 strike outs. Here’s a line from him:

"I'm taking the good ones and swinging at the bad ones, but again that's something I have gone through many, many, many, many, many, many, many times in my career."

Well, at $56 million over 4 years, that won’t cut it junior. Better check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Sette-And finally last nights Blackhawks game. I will be the first admit I didn’t see this coming, but going with Schneider over Luongo was a ballsy move. Too bad you had to split Schneider from the team. Like that one? I am tired of listening to the pompous crap that comes from this team. This was your best game of the series? You fricking lost morons.

Pinsiero finale: So can they do it? The Blackhawks do what their opponents in the Stanley Cup Finals did last year. Come back from that 0-4 deficit. I hope so. I will have to say that Red Wing fans have always irritated me the most, but this year, the brash of arrogance from Vancouver and their fans has been a little too much. So Blackhawks please. For the love of God, own these pieces of doggy doo on Tuesday and let the ultimate humiliation of Roberta Luongo begin!

Peace until later
M

Dolphins Kick Ass: A Look at the Schedule

2011-04-21T12:23:00.001-07:00

So the Dolphins schedule was just released, and me loving everything about the Dolphins I thought I would share what I am looking forward to. This will be an exciting season, and if we can get this crazy work stoppage out of the way, it will kick ass. So here are the seven games I am looking forward to…

1-Thanksgiving has never been my favorite, but when the Dolphins play ball, they usually win. And I will never forget that Leon Lett guy. That was great. Who will be Leon this year? We can only hope Demarcus Ware blows it.

2-Debuting this year’s Monday Night Football season against the Patsies sounds wonderful. After all, we need to get some revenge for last year’s Monday Night Embarrassment. In fact, Davone Bess was talking about getting the Patriots on Monday night, and I shot him a tweet…

“@davonebess Give Welker a run for his money. You are the slot machine my man!!!!! GO PHINS!!!!”

He was nice enough to shoot one back…

“@michaelcaserno thx for the love n respect!”

3-You know we have never beat the Texans, so I think this year we’re due as we get them week 2!!!! Sorry Andre Johnson, but you will catch a bad case of VD that week.

4-I truly believe that the legend of Michael Vick will die down by week 14, and we’ll put the nails in the coffins. Nevertheless, I am looking forward to playing the Eagles at home.

5-Everytime the Phins play Kansas City it’s a great game. Hopefully we fill the need for QB and we might have ourselves a great matchup.

6-Not that this will be a good game, but I believe we owe Cleveland a beatdown in week 3.

7-And of course everytime we get to kick the snot out of the Jets, its fun. Especially for Monday Night Football after the bye, and then the last game of the season.

All I know is with the draft coming up and looking at this schedule, you know Miami Dolphins football is on the way, and I am getting pumped up. Hope you are too.

Happy Easter, as I will be absent tomorrow.

God bless.

M

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Goodnight

2011-04-20T11:32:00.001-07:00

Happy 4/20 everyone. And now, its time.

Uno-The Dolphins announced the schedule for next year. Here are some of the highlights. The season kicks off in Miami for Monday night football on 9/12 along with another Monday night battle with the Jets on 10/17. Perhaps we can finally defeat Houston on 9/18 which is a 3:15 game. However, I am for once in my life looking forward to Thanksgiving as we get the Cowboys. Now if the owners can get rid of this stupid lockout, we may be onto something.

Due-The White Sox have won 0 games in the last 7. They need a win soon, but there are other things they need. They need Juan Pierre to be the lead off force he was last year when he lead the league in stolen bases. He is 4 out of 9 so far this year, and that is not such a good thing. Adam Dunn has a history of striking out, but also a history of lots of home runs. He needs the latter to start happening. When he played his first game with the Sox, he hit one out of the park. That set the tone for many great things. Carlos Quentin has been kicking ass and that needs to continue. These things need to happen so we can revisit the bullpen situation. Oh yeah, Jake Peavy needs multiple doctors. I can’t believe we wasted so much money on this guy.

Tre-I don’t like the Cubs, but I have to give credit where credit is due. Starling Castro is playing some kick ass ball, and the fact this kid is a rookie batting leadoff, have to respect that.

Quattro-The Twins are in a bad bad place. Nathan gives up the closer role, Mauer is still out, and the new Japanese Import is gone as well. However, never, and I mean never count this team out.

Cinque-Focusing on baseball some more, it’s not too shocking to see the Royals doing what they’re doing, but I didn’t expect the hot spot from the Indians. However, we will have to see what these two teams do in the division. The Tigers seem to be picking up steam and it will only be a matter of time before the Sox do the same. Remember Sox fans, April has always been a crappy month. The Sox will get over it eventually.

Sei-Jake Peavy hurts his shoulder and who knows if this guy will ever make it. I used to think that Swisher and Teahen were Kenny’s worst moves. (David Wells not so hot either.) But this one could be the worst gamble so far on his resume.

Sette-And how about them Hawks. I thought last night was going to be the funeral, but it turns out to be fun. Watching Dave Bolland out there was wonderful, and seeing Luongo give up 6 was great. The twins were stopped dead in their tracks and the Hawks led the hitting brigade as well. All in all, great game, and this is what we wanted to see from them since games 1-3. Now the big question. Can they carry this excitement into game 5 with them up north? I really don’t think so. Vancover is too good of a team to let this series slip away. But Go Hawks!!!!

Pinsiero finale: And let the Hawks game be a lesson to you. You can never quit no matter what. The Hawks most likely will get beat tomorrow night north of the border, but they will not go down without a fight. The moment you think you’re beat, you’re beat. Don’t let the evil Canadians or whoever you’re adversary know you are down. You will be down for a dirt nap.

PS Check out this story about how Hawk fans were yelling at the Canucks GM. Although that is funny, the comments about how the girl and the 5 year old were taunted and had beer dumped on them were not as funny. Fans, please remember that we are all people with feelings. God I feel bad for that kid. Especially because he is a Canucks fan, thats bad to begin with. But he shouldn't have a beer dumped over his head, or be victimized by the language he had to endure that night. Its great the Hawks were kicking ass, but leave the ass kicking to them. No reason to tortue Canucklehead fans. And besides, I'm sorry but they will have the last laugh as I think no way the Hawks rebound in this series.

I Like the White Sox: The Stupidity of April

2011-04-19T08:12:00.001-07:00

The White Sox are in a slump right now, and if you are like me, you’re not too concerned. After all, it’s just the first 15 games of the year. And honestly other than 2005, can you remember the last good April the Sox have had? So I decided to list some positives and things that the Sox can do to help the situation.

1-Yes get Bobby Thigpen. In fact, you should build a statue of him. We should get Bobby Thigpen bobble heads, and make May 37th Bobby Thigpen day at the cell. In fact, Matty Bobby Thigpen called. He wants his number back. Guy goes in for one inning of work and still finds a way to give up a run. WTF! Bobby could retire the number. I don’t know how long it has been since he played, but hey what the hell? If not Santos, why not Thigpen? I don’t know who else I have faith in these days.

2-Put Ramon Castro’s mug shot from ESPN on the little advertisement board behind home plate. That will scare the opposing pictures. Only flash it on there when they get ready to wind up. They won’t know what to do rather to laugh, cry or run.

3-Get Juan Pierre a goat costume. Since he is the problem with this team if you listen to as much Sox Post on the Score as I do. Seriously, Juan Pierre will get it on track. He wasn’t too great in April last year either with the defense. I trust Juan, and so should you.

4-I think Jake Peavy has gone to the shit, and he ain’t coming back. He is hanging with Colonel Wirtz somewhere in Alabama by now. But, hey, let’s take solace in the fact he isn’t being Jake the bulldog anymore right gang? I think its safe to take number 44 away from him now because Jim might be right on that one.

5-You know how the players get the shaving cream pies when they hit the walk off HR or single or do something great that deserves shaving cream pie. I think it should become policy that every time someone in the bullpen gives up a run, they should get a different kind of pie to the face. Perhaps a chocolate fecal pie may do wonders. Think about it. It might take one time to kill the epidemic. Although the bullpen hasn’t had the chance to blow any games lately. Since that albatross last Wednesday, we haven’t had a save opportunity.

6-Dave Price struck out nine last night. The good news, no one in Tampa got free pizza. The bad news, Jim and WU were in Tampa at the game last night.

7-And finally, I think they need to bring a live chicken in the dugout, and Cerrano as well.

Yes I know. Pretty ridiculous. But anyone who knows me knows I don’t do normal or stats. Just stuff you think about after spending the night in the loser’s circle. You know, a bunch of hippies sitting in a circle playing the bongos. Or smoking the bongos. Whatever is your thing.

Keep your heads up playas, lots of baseball left for the season. Lots of headshaking to do. And lots of fireworks to blow off at the Cell still.

M

The Lines Between Life and Death are Playoff Implications

2011-04-19T07:47:00.001-07:00

Life and death. Two themes to examine on today’s blog. White Sox blog coming up later today to make good for yesterday.

Uno-So here we are in the UC. Backs against the wall. Sticks to the ice. Rat is returning. Can they do it? Will they? Do they want it? I’m not sure, but I really think that the Vancouver Canucks revenge is about to happen tonight and honestly, I don’t think the Hawks are in any place to beat them. I really thought they had a chance Sunday night, but they fell apart again. Godspeed Chicago Blackhawks, thanks for getting the cup last year. Hopefully you can figure it out this year,

Due-The Miami Heat almost blew the game on Sunday, but came back with authority last night. Lebron, D-Wade, and Bosh scored more points alone than the entire starting five of Philly did. They are becoming dangerous, and anyone who thinks they can’t, keep watching because you are about to witness history ladies and gentlemen.

Tre-While the Heat was creating a cool highlight reel for ESPN, the Bulls were struggling to get another one past the Pacers at home. 21 turnovers is unacceptable in the playoffs, and D-Rose can’t do everything by himself. If this play continues, the Bulls will be in trouble when they play a team not seeded 8.

Quattro-Yes I know. The Red Wings are up 3-0. However I believe the Canucks are the team to beat, and scum doesn’t stand a chance.

Cinque-While we are on playoffs, I know. The Lakers and Spurs were upset in game one. Do not expect that to continue. Both of these teams have been here before and know how to win. However, I don’t think either one of these teams will be in it at the end. My money is on Dallas this year and I’m looking for a rematch of the 2006 Finals. You know when the MVP was D-Rose. Same result this year of course.

Sei-Once again, did you see that alley-oop from Rio to Lebron? God damn can the Heat play?

Sette-And finally to Matt Thornton. I don’t think you will be a closer anymore. You are called upon to keep the Rays at 4 runs, and then they get a homer off of you.

Pinsiero finale: Today was the most ferocious workout of my life as far as cardio goes. I am trying to amp things up as it is 200 LBS by summer baby. If you have a goal, let me know and let’s make it happen together.

Bart Scott is on drugs

2011-04-15T11:13:00.000-07:00

Someone needs to break this guy off.

By the way, didn't the Patriots just go undefeated for the regular season and win 3 superbowls in the last decade. Yeah I'm sure they want to be a bunch of juvenile deliquents who harrass women reporters in their dressing room and trip players.

And Rex Ryan is like Obama? Jesus. Bart Scott is out of his mind.

THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY This week

2011-04-15T08:46:00.001-07:00

And now this week for the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

THE GOOD
I would like to say congrats to my Miami Heat for sewing up the second seed this week. Yes, it would have been more sweet to be number one, but seeds are the beginnings of champions and look for the Miami Heat to be NBA champs this year. And for all you haters, the big three will laugh back at you at the end of the playoffs.

THE BAD
Nothing like two grown men starting a feud. Apparently Donald Trump is taking exception with Bill Cosby’s comments about him being full of it in regards in his ambitions to run for president. Cosby says “run or shut up.” Trump who says he can’t until the Apprentice is over to run for President says Cosby was kissing his ass in the green room, and saying he wanted to go out to dinner. What’s going on here? Did Donald Trump steal a pudding pop from Cosby? I always do admire Cosby’s willingness to be honest, but this lacks the compelling nature of the Rosie v Donald days from years ago.

THE UGLY
ABC announced it was canceling All My Children and One Life to Live in favor or reality TV programming. Grant it there are much uglier things that this, but I think the comment that an unnamed soap star made sums it all up:

“If you’re not an over-tanned guido who gets drunk and punches someone in the face where do you fit into television any more,”

It really sucks that shows that exploit the stupid nature of humanity are starting to take center stage. Shows like “Jersey Shore” “Teen Mom” and just about every show on the Food Network are entertaining the general public. I think it’s time the general public wake up and look down to see what you’re sitting in when you miss the toilet.

And that will do it. Have a nice weekend.

Here's to Everyone

2011-04-15T08:21:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday gang. Here’s to the beginning of great things, the end to others, and updates.

Uno-Here’s to a new beginning for the White Sox bullpen. You had a day off to regroup, now focus Sale. Focus Thornton. You guys can do it. I believe in you. Be the lights out pen you were advertised to be. Not some hacks waiting to use the john.

Due-Here’s to the Heat on the road to the first championship. Good luck not only to D-Wade and King James. But to Bosh, Bibby, Miller, Z, Joel Anthony and the whole crew. And Udonis get your ass back here. We need you!!!!

Tre-Here’s to the Hawks erasing game one with a game two victory tonight in Vancouver. Remember a playoff series doesn’t start until a team wins on the road.

Quattro-Here’s to Rock Mamola having a great show tonight as it’s his last one in Chicago. Good luck in Tampa.

Cinque-Here’s to the Cubs sucking ass in 2011. Keep it up so your pansy manager can tell us all the positives in your losses.

Sei-Here’s to ABC for canceling Vicki’s favorite show One Life to Live for some shitty ass reality show. Yes I know it’s cheaper to run reality TV, but guess what? It’s fucking stupid. I hope someone brings you to a barn where a mule kicks you in the nuts. Thanks for playing. Yes, bring back game shows you jackasses.

Sette-And here’s to me making more positive change in my life. I am now down to 203 LBS, and feeling great. The new job is definitely making me happy which leads me to…

Pinsiero finale: we need to all go after what we want out of life. When you feel lost ask God for help. He will open the door, but you need to decide if you want to walk through it.

Have no idea what they put in my orange juice today but its making me chipper like Jones baby.

M

Sports Really Sucks Lately

2011-04-14T08:26:00.000-07:00

Sadness. No other way to put it. Let’s get this over with.

Uno-Although you have to admire the Blackhawks playing the 2nd and 3rd period as hard as they could, they let the first get away, and that was the one where the Nucks scored two. Sure people want to say the formula has always been the Nucks win the first and the Hawks win the second. I hope so, but the Hawks were beaten so hard last night it wasn’t even funny.

Due-Carlos Zambrano hit HR 22 in his career. Watch the Cub fans come out to brag about this. He also left the mound before his manager Mike Quade made it out there. I am waiting for him to flip out.

Tre-Speaking about flipping out, Ozzie Guillen is awesome. From yesterday…

"I'm going to Miami right now. I don't have any closer. I don't have any closer. I don't." "I might call Bobby Thigpen to help us. You know why? When we play good, they send those guys to this damn (interview) table and (you) talk to them like heroes. When we (mess) it up, I'm the one who has to … sit here and talk to you guys."

I love it when he gets angry. And he’s right. More on that later.

Quattro-While we’re on the flipping out portion of the blog today, Kobe Bryant called a ref a fucking faggot and gets fined $100,000 for it. He’s going to appeal it because calling referees names is so OK. A gay and lesbian basketball league wants Kobe to show up for one of their games. I still question Kobe’s rationale at all. I think him and his stupid basketball team is crumbling. Good times. You should go play a game with them, so we don’t have to see your face anymore.

Cinque-The Barry Bonds trial or lack thereof makes me feel once again that if you’re a celebrity, you can do anything. This fricking guy has all sorts of evidence against him in this trial, and yet the jury is deadlocked on the three counts of perjury. You know what the Giants fans should have stayed home and they should have held the trial somewhere else.

Sei-I don’t know if anyone saw the game between the Caps and the Rangers last night, but Ovechkin is still as dirty as ever as he clipped some poor guy in the face with his stick shortly after that fluky goal he made. I love the guy but dude come on, play with some integrity.

Sette-And finally lets talk White Sox bullpen. Yeah you guys are a ok. Once again, Thornton is a 8th inning set up guy, Sale is too new to close. I say give Sergio Santos a shot. See what he can do. I don’t care if he was a shortstop before. He does a nice job stopping people. I can’t take much more of the games we had this week. We had three of them in the last week. Fix the problem guys. Love ya!

Pinsiero finale: I would like to know were there any big decisions you had to make in your life, and how has the decision affected you. I was out to lunch with someone who is almost like a father to me yesterday, and we were talking about this topic. My decision was to stay with the girl of my dreams, or go after the job of my dreams. I chose the girl because jobs come and go, but finding that one real woman who will stand by you no matter what is hard to come by. Plus she gave me the two greatest kids a father could ever have. Was wondering about you? I will post the 7 most intriguing here on the blog in the next day if anyone answers.
Talk to you soon

Banned From the SBN

2011-04-13T08:28:00.000-07:00

Today is the greatest, day I ever known. Can’t wait for…oh wait a minute. This isn’t Don’t Forget the Lyrics. It’s Michael Says, so listen…

Uno-It’s on tonight! Hawks, Canucks round 3. I really want to see the Hawks do this but, I don’t know if they got it. My predictions for the first round…

Hawks over Canucks in 7
Sharks over Kings in 6
Coyotes over Wings in 6
Preds over Ducks in 5
Caps over Rangers in 5
Flyers over Sabres in 7
Bruins over Canadiens in 4
Penguins over Lightning in 6

Yes I have the Wings losing in an upset. They’re too banged up. The Sharks/Kings, Flyers/Sabres were very difficult to pick. I would love to see the Hawks advance, and my prediction may be wishful thinking, but I still think that the Hawks are in their head.

Due-Andrew Bynum, looks like you have some issues buddy.

Tre-Poor Josh Hamilton. Did you see that slide? Apparently Hamilton says he didn’t want to go because he thought “something bad was going to happen.” Well, me thinks he was talking about an out, not a 6-8 week injury.

Quattro-So yes, Jenn Sterger had her day on GMA where she said she was betrayed by the blogger. Betrayed, really? I think this article says you were telling someone in the press about it. Seriously Jenn, did you really think that a member of the press (electronic or traditional) would keep something like this quiet? You wanted this. Admit it. I’m not buying any of this shit you saying and I don’t think it anyone else is.

Cinque-Nice piece on ESPN on the Heat’s Joel Anthony. Someone who I have been enjoying watching play ball as of late.

Sei-To people who want to boo Juan Pierre on every play. Yes I was mad at him too, but get over it. This guy still can hit, and can field for the most part, but most important he has heart. He plays the game hard, and you have to love him for that. Stop giving the dude a hard time.

Sette-Is Mark Ingram from the University of Alabama the best the Phins can do? Quarterback sometime perhaps?

Pinsiero finale: So yesterday I posted a bonus article about bad beers. I attempted to post this article on the four SB Nation Blogs that I follow. I was banned for doing so. I guess the banned was removed today, but guys come on. That’s a shitty thing to do. I want to contribute in my own weird and special way, let me write damn it!!!!!
Anyways talk to you all soon.

M

Still Waiting for that Zima

2011-04-12T12:16:00.000-07:00

So picking up where I left off about the whole Zima piece I wrote earlier today, I decided to give you a bonus piece talking about shitty beers. Furthermore, I posted my draft piece at another SBN Blog known as the Phinsider, which discusses all Miami Dolphins football and it is maintained by Matty I, who does a wonderful job.

Now you might ask, what does this have to do with your team? Well, take a look at this week, and I will tell you.

White Sox-You had to slam something when you saw Pierror blow a second 9th inning lead with his stellar defensive play.

Dolphins-There’s a lockout going on, and D’Angelo Williams wants to come to South Beach, but we can’t do anything with him, depressing, need to drink.

Heat-We just locked up the second seed. Gotta celebrate.

Hawks-Well, we would be a dysfunctional bunch here. First we celebrate that the Hawks kicked the snot out of the scumbags, so here’s to that. Then the scumbags beat us, so out of depression we drink again. Then the Wild takes care of the Stars and punches our ticket into the NHL playoffs, so here’s to that. I am sure lots of drinking will be taking place the next week or so. Especially if the SCH boys have anything to say about it. I mean you don’t go to the Bottom Lounge to drink coffee and eat eggs, right?

And this will give you a break to discuss something other than how great our teams are. (Yes the White Sox are great. Can’t let Pierre ruin the party, and he will fix it.)

So what are the 7 worst beers ever, let me tell you what I think (in no particular order) and you discuss yours, OK? So for the sure sign of a great time, here we go…

1-SAM ADAMS-I really want to like this because that Jim Koch guy is a hoot, but I can’t. The rich flavor is kind of nauseating. It borders cough syrup for me. However, it is made in Boston and the Celtics are in Boston. I can’t begin to tell you how much I hate the Celtics. Therefore, Boston beer doesn’t work for me.

2-OLD STYLE-First of all the beer tastes old, but has no style at all. It is without a doubt the nastiest of the bunch. It is so watery and Cub fans treasure this beer. It’s watered down like their team. Remember the commercials when you were younger on how they showed the waterfalls and all that shit for the Old Style commercials. It would have been less misleading to show a shot of a bathroom and someone taking a piss.

3-BUDWEISER-Sorry guys don’t like rice in the beer. Once again back to the Cubs. Harry Carry was a Cub fan and a Bud Man. So right there you know that if some traitor like him likes it, there’s a problem.

4-MILLER GENIUNE DRAFT-This beer inspired this post because I made a joke and the next thing you know everyone was knocking it on the Phinsider. If Dolphin fans hate this beer, it’s gotta suck.
5-MICHELOB ULTRA-Oh look mommy, a beer you can drink while working out. Don’t ask why I remember ads and commercials on alcohol, but this always had someone working out as their image. So what, you can go bench 300 and drink a beer in between reps? Sure, if you want a frickin’ heart attack. This beer didn’t even taste like beer. It tasted like stale apple juice with a touch of yeast. Yuck!

6-GUINESS-9 out of 10 men prefer Guiness? No shit Sherlock. Not something to be proud of.

7-RANGERJAE’S PERSONAL BATCH PART 1-The first time I made an attempt to brew beer, holy shit. I wanted to run over to the Meadowlands and personally give it to Rex Ryan because of how bad it tasted. I wanted to give him something worse than his words that he could eat. It was that thick, you could eat it. The second time was better, but not good. The third time, I got it, but need to use purified water next time. Then I think I might be able to brew my own.

So there you have it gang. My dreadful seven beers. What are yours? Do you like beer? If I interfered with anything I apologize but I thought some funny conversation would be cool.

Can I Get Some Pretzels and a Zima?

2011-04-12T08:46:00.000-07:00

Heidi ho campers. Are you ready to ride the love train?

Uno-Patrick Kane is sporting his mullet again. We saw how that worked out last year. We don’t have a big dude to stick his ass in Luongo’s face, but I do believe we can beat the Canucks. I am hoping the will for revenge and stupidity plays out over smart hockey. We find out tomorrow night.

Due-The Heat have locked up the second seed. Celtics, suck it! By the way, I saved this for number 2. See what I did there.

Tre-Bill Parcels just had a short conversation with the Miami Herald’s Armando Salguero. In it, he says he sleeps well at night. I don’t know Bill. One playoff appearance, 25-23 record, and a bust out for a second rounder, I guess that makes you an asshole if you can sleep well at night. Armando points out that the team was 7-25 the two years prior. So Bill took them up to the next level. Bill promised more than just the next level. Hopefully Jeffery and Anthony can deliver on that promise.

Quattro-Matt Thornton is NOT a closer. I said this yesterday, and based on yesterday’s results of the game, I am right! He gives up the double, and the other hit which I will get to in a minute. The man is a setup guy, not a closer. Sorry Ozzie I know how you hate how us potato chip eating fans get in our lazy boys, but dude, please. Give someone else a shot in the role and let Matt focus on what he’s best at. Setting up the table so the closer can eat.

Cinque-That hit was another fucking error by Juan Pierre (or Pierror as people are referring to him today.) Juan, seriously, you gotta step up. I like you. You’re a scrappy kid, but man come on. You have to make those routine plays. WTF!!!!!!!! Buehrle was robbed yesterday. That game was his.

Sei-Maybe the problem is we should bring people on the team who played for the Cubs or the Twins since those two teams suck the most. I mean Juan Pierre committed the error that allowed the tying run, and Jesse Crain gave up the go ahead home run to Kurt Suzuki. Just saying. I may change my tune on that one in a day or two.

Sette-I don’t know about you but all this talk about the other Sox in America is kind of making me scratch my head. Sure they have a losing record and went 0-6, but they’re the Red Sox, they will turn it around. We still have a whole summer of baseball left. They are badasses. Don’t like to admit it but its true.

Pinsiero finale-Check out Aaron Rodger’s twitter in a reply to someone:

AaronRodgers12 Aaron Rodgers
Zima??? They still sell that stuff? RT @markjgrass @AaronRodgers12 Take a cooler of Zima...at the very least you'll catch a buzz.

Now I will admit, when Zima came out, I drank it A LOT. If you want to call me names for that I say fuck you, it was good shit. Until they started making all the different flavors, then they lost me. Oh yeah, and the one time I drank like 13 of them and threw up. I kind of lost the Zima feeling after that. I did a search to see if they did in fact “sell that stuff” so maybe I could have one for old times sake. Unfortunately, they don’t as you can read here. But I’m sure we all remember the black and blue sticker on the kick ass looking bottle. Good times.

Anyway, have a zowie day!

M

Can We Get Chelsea A Dagger?

2011-04-11T14:00:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. Sorry a little late, but better late than never.

1-Chicago Blackhawks you sexy ass bitches. You’re going to the playoffs. You kicked the scums ass on Friday, but couldn’t follow up on Sunday. However, it was the shitty state of Minnesota that saved us from missing the party. And now, he we are. Getting ready to play our nemesis in the playoffs. Vancouver, Kesler the shitbird, those snobby twins, and of course the goalie who really did cry, Roberto Luongo. I truly believe in my heart we can come up with the upset here. Unfortunately Buff isn’t there to give Lou a hard time, but maybe we can come up with some big goals. Maybe Bolland will return. Maybe Sharpie, Hossa, and Toews can make magic happen. The Hawks had the hockey Gods smile upon them, and now it is time to make sure they were right for smiling.

2-It’s about frickin time for the Heat to step up to the plate and show the NBA that they belong in the conversation for the Eastern Conference Finals. Yeah we know the Bulls really tapped that ass, but the Heat completely destroyed them. In fact, Paul Pierce is lucky that D-Wade didn’t jack him. I am so sick of that fool. What did you say on Twitter this week clown? “It was my pleasure to get my ass kicked in south beach and IO thank God D-Wade didn’t smack me like the bitch I am.” Well, see you chumps in the playoffs.

3-Jenn Sterger, please. We know, you didn’t want to tell the world you saw Brett Favre’s cock on your phone. We know, you didn’t mean for all this to blow up. We know, your interview with George Stephanopoulos is this week, and all you want to do is go back to work. You can. Make a resume and submit it like the rest of us do. Someone had to leak out this Favre info about you. I don’t see you talking about it. You want everyone to feel sorry for you for what? Because you turned down a date with Brett Favre. You get no sympathy from me. Go get yourself a job. You’re the same girl wearing low cut shirts, and having your twins sticking out during FSU games. You wanted attention, you got it, and now you’re mad. Grow the fuck up little girl.

4-I read the story about Bryan Stow, a 42 year old paramedic who was a Giants fan attending a Dodgers game and was beaten into a coma in the parking lot by Dodger fans. I say to the misinformed Cub fans out there, I like the rivalry we have. We talk a lot of shit to each other. A lot of friendly jabbing. However in the end we are all human beings. I like many of you. Don’t ever let things get this far between us. I am talking to you Sox fans as well. We have the most respected cross town rivalry in sports, let’s keep it that way. Oh and your Cubs suck ass too.

5-Now let us rejoice the White Sox. Yes they blew the game on Friday. But got to love how they bounced back. Phil Humber puts on a magnificent performance for his starting debut on Saturday, Gavin Floyd fanned 8 on Sunday and allowed 4 hits on 1 unearned run on 8 innings. The White Sox are doing what they’re supposed to do. Beat up on bad and struggling teams. The Rays are a good team, but just struggling a little right now. Keep an eye on them.

6-Adam Dunn should be back in the lineup this week, but look at the averages of the some of the other players on this team:

Gordon Beckham 2 HR 6 RBI .333 AVG
Paul Konerko 3 HR 11 RBI .400 AVG
Carlos Quentin 2 HR 10 RBI .353 AVG
Brett Morel 0 HR 6 RBI .294 AVG
Mark Teahen 1 HR 2 RBI .429 AVG

Yes, that piece of crap Teahen is doing well for his new limited role. And the kid is keeping up. This offense looks like it is doing some great things. Just imagine what happens when Dunn returns.

7-Yes we have bullpen issues, but Chris Sale has a short memory. After giving up the winning run on Wednesday nights marathon against the Royals, he came in and shut them down the next day. After giving up a home run on Saturday, he took down the next two batters. This kid should be the closer, not Thornton. Don’t get me wrong, I love Matty, but he is the ultimate set up guy, and that is his role, it shouldn’t be messed with. Then again, Ozzie might be onto something here:

"I've got three or four guys who can close," Guillen said. "I got [Jesse] Crain, [Chris] Sale, [Sergio] Santos and Thornton that can close the end of the game. Don't be surprised if you see one of those guys. We'll do that because someone needs the rest or we like the matchup better. There's a lot of things going through our minds about who's going to be pitching the ninth."

Although there was lots to hate about the DH carousel from last year, you have to like this. You have some effective guys with closer material. If you running a merry go round of thoroughbreds rather than jackasses, I am OK with the idea.

Pinsiero finale: Manny Ramirez retiring from baseball after being caught with drugs again is just another example of Manny being Manny. Manny was a goofball, but he was a great hitter. It is tragic in a sense this happened, but I guess it was just Manny being Manny again.

Times up. Have a wonderful day.

M

THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY

2011-04-08T09:06:00.000-07:00

If you listened to the MJP on WKRS, you will know I did this segment. I will now finish the week of with it. So here we go. We might start doing this one daily too.

THE GOOD
Some people do things that make you shake your head, but this young boy from Pittsburg takes the cake as he bought a Superbowl ring from a restaraunt just to make sure one of the '85 Chicago Bears got it back.

THE BAD
Whatever you do, if you're a police officer, be careful when pulling over athletes. If you remember Miguel Cabrera a few weeks ago, well now this well known NBA star wants to make sure the police know who he is and how many cars he has.

THE UGLY
Well apparently, the government looks at though it will go through with the shutdown and many people who want to visit Washington are going to get fucked because the tourist attractions are going to shut down as well. Government and football players? Can't we all just get along.

That is all I have for today

Does Anyone Know How to Play Racquetball?

2011-04-08T07:51:00.001-07:00

This is a big weekend for sports. Well not all sports for some sports. Yes the Masters, but I don’t watch golf unless I’m getting ready for bed. Let’s kick it ese…

Uno-Edwin Jackson YOU are ridiculous. 13 strikeouts yesterday against the Rays. And it’s nice to see a White Sox offense show up in April. Don’t stop now boys!

Due-Hats off to the Bulls for defeating the Celtics yesterday. I hope the Heat were watching and taking notes as on Sunday, they need to come through in a big way if they want the second seed. But I love the fact the Celtics look like stoners. Hopefully they continue their stoner ways in the playoffs.

Tre-Can we talk more about that White Sox game on Wednesday? I mean I was shit, they are losing 5-0. This looks like a fucking long ass season. I mean I was still in a pissy mood due to the loss the night before. Then I pull up to Walmart when its 5-2 and Soria is coming in so I’m like shit, Soria is coming in. I go in to get a new garbage can and come out, and Thornton is on the mound pitching and I’m like , shit they came back. Then we get to the 12th and they score three runs and I’m like, shit they might win the game, and then the White Sox won and I’m like holy shit they won the game.

Quattro-OK OK OK, Marty Turco made a bet with a fan. Now I don’t know about you but that’s frickin’ funny. Who does that? It was a friendly $5 bet. And then he had the wad of $5 bills. What’s up with this guy? Does he go to the concession stand between periods or something? What is a goalie doing with a wad of $5 bills in his possession during a game? I really hope everyone can look back at this and laugh, because its frickin funny.

Sei-I am still steaming over that loss on Wednesday with the Heat and the Bucks. The Heat need to step it up. Sunday its time to extract a little revenge on the Celtics. Not going to win games playing like that.

Sette-Memo to Chicago Blackhawks. It’s time to wipe the scum off the planet. You need to win these next two games like you have never needed to win two games in your life. Beat the Red Wings. Make them pay and get into the playoffs and find a way to make Vancouver cry again.

Pinsiero finale: I am really getting into the grind for working out but need to do one day of racquetball a week to feel complete. If you or you know anyone who likes to play, please get in touch with me.

Thanks and talk you all soon. Have a great weekend.

Let's Get Rid of the NFL Draft

2011-04-07T08:42:00.000-07:00

Look I gave you two today. This one I did for the Phinsider

You know what, lets face it. The only draft any of us really care about is MGD. We can sit here until we’re blue in the face talking about who is going to fall to us in round 15, are we going to trade down, yadda yadda yadda. Well how about lets have no more draft. Forget it. Eliminate it. In fact, I propose Jeff Ireland in his first season of flying solo as GM is tell Roger Goddell that the Dolphins should withdraw their draft picks and hold tryouts in Davie for anyone who wants to join the team.

Now hear me out, I know you all think I’m just straight up whack but think about the positives to come out of this. I will list them. In fact I will list seven because I always come up with seven thoughts on all my writings for the most part.

Uno-I don’t know about you, but every time I see Mel Kiper Jr. go off about someone in the draft, I wonder if I’m in a time machine back to the 80’s or if I have been teleported to an old race track and Kiper is the guy taking my bet. Seriously, this guy is a total throwback and his ego is obviously huge if he feels he is the authority on the draft. The guy who is the authority of the draft is Roger Goddell because he’s the one on the podium, not the guy on the balcony shooting at Axel Foley in Beverly Hills Cop. Watch the movie again and look. You’ll see Mel up there.

Due-Do we really want college athletes who have hookers for mothers and extortionists for fathers? I mean these kids coming in are obvious meal tickets for their parents and their parents look at this event like it’s the blue light special of their pathetic little lives. When those guys take the stage at Radio City, they are asking the commissioner to rescue them. It’s like you have 32 Bobby Bouchers up there.

Tre-I don’t know about you, but I feel that there are too many Jets fans at these events. And quite frankly if there is one thing worse that a Jets player, it’s a Jets fan. Especially when they howl like wolves because someone on their crappy franchise makes the wrong pick. I mean I love spending a Sunday afternoon looking at some idiot in a Namath jersey yelling at a stage, I don’t know about you.

Quattro-There is a very good chance that these kids came to the draft in Hummers, Lamborghinis, Escalades, and other luxury cars. Quite frankly, they piss me off driving their kick the environment’s balls cars to this “super” event. Why don’t you ride a bicycle? From what I hear on this site, Chad Henne makes for an excellent bicycle, and good for him since he makes for a shitty QB.

Cinque-I still believe the Dolphins have no business being in any draft because how anyone can let a dumb witted coach not only draft an unproven wide receiver as their first rounder, but their family on top of it? I mean we all talk about Parcells and White, but this was just ridiculous.

Sei-There is a work stoppage in the NFL right now. Why aren’t we worried about that? If you are going to have a draft, it will require employees to help run it, but doesn’t that go against the lockout? I think the NFL is contradicting themselves and someone needs to write a letter to Oprah about that to see if she can help.

Sette-And most importantly, I think with no draft, there might not be consistent fan shots being disguised as fan posts about why we shouldn’t draft Cam Newton or Blaine Gabbert or any of these other poor excuses for human beings who care only about becoming superstars instead of finishing their education. People go to college to learn something so they can make a career for themselves. Not being some football player.

Pinsiero finale: If anyone reads this and gets mad or takes it seriously, you need to take some prozac. I hope the Dolphins draft a decent QB. I want to see Rickie or Ronnie come back or both. I want the Dolphins to win the superbowl and hope that Cameron Wake finds a way to take one QB out of the game this year as soon as these people with much more money than us find a way how to get a profitable business like the NFL back on track.

Thanks for reading. Have a great day.

Oh and follow me on twitter @michaelcaserno.

I Like the White Sox: Happiness

2011-04-07T08:14:00.000-07:00

So since the White Sox are done with their road trip and their home opener is today, I decided to do my magnificent seven (or crappy however you would like to put it) about the pale hose today to recap the last few days.

Uno-I don’t know about you but 24 innings let alone two days may be too much fun for anyone to have in Kansas City. WTF do they have down there anyway? Nothing that’s what. Maybe some watering hole that George Brett frequents showing all his Tops sticker books he used to pimp out back in the days when he was chasing pitchers from the dugouts. I hear Kaufman is nice. I always liked the waterfalls, but the Royals are pains in the ass. I am very happy about the result of the game yesterday.

Due-Donkey wants in really badly. I don’t know about you but I feel like this is the Jake Peavy DH now. Dude relax!!!! Yes we are excited that you are on the team. We love the fact you want to go out there and kick ass. But we don’t need you getting some freaky injury like Jakey did, so get yourself a lude and relax dude. Like Adam Dunn was, I am very happy about the result of the game yesterday.

Tre-Is it just me, or has Q become a force to be reckoned with again? Holy shit man. He is putting up 2008 numbers. Sure it’s early, but 11 hits out of 22 plate appearances. Only striking out once. 10 RBIS, 5 of those hits doubles. Q is going out giving pictures reasons to want to hit him again. Q was a big reason why I can be happy about the result of the game yesterday.

Quattro-Does streets and sanitation make a stop by 35th and Shields today? If so, please bring your happy asses in the park, go directly into the clubhouse, find the locker that says 23, clean it out, put every thing in a Glad bag, find the guy who owns it, carry him out kicking and screaming and proceed to throw him and the bag into your big blue truck. It was mentioned that this “man” was garbage, and I agree and say he should be treated as such. But hey man, fuck him, I really was happy about the result of the game yesterday.

Cinque-The bullpen has me a little nervous. But wasn’t it cool to see Chris Sale make up for the little things that happened on Tuesday night? Sure Matty gave up a run, but he shut the door on the threat. I just think that the same truck that gets little Marky Teahen, should come back for Ohman as well. He wasn’t terrible yesterday. One walk and hit and no earned runs. However the recipe for disaster is already there. He is like that piece on the buffet table that completely sucks, and even though one day you went in there and it looked better and you felt like trying it, you know its shitty food and you should avoid it at all costs. What kind of food is that? Discuss amongst yourselves, while I will continue feeling happy about the result of the game yesterday.

Sei-So the Sox go 3-2 for their first road trip. I was very disappointed how the first game vs. the Royals went, and loved how the pen let the game Sunday completely get away from them. And look our old friend OC hit a home run off of Danks. Yeah, I’m sure that clown will be writing SSS like he does every once in a while, and please everyone tell the so-called general his team will not be making the playoffs this year. But despite all that, you have to be happy about how things went. We’re 3-2 against the division, and we beat two teams that gave us fits last year. I don’t know about you, but I’m happy with that, but not as happy as I am about the result of the game yesterday.

Sette-And finally you have to love a team who is down 5-0 for virtually most of the game, but claws and scratches to get back into it, especially against a guy like Soria who is lights out. In fact I turned off the game, went in the store to get a garbage can (no not for Teahen), and came out and was thrilled the game was still on. It was the bottom of the 9th after the tying run scored. This ladies and gentlemen is the White Sox team we love. The ones who don’t give up. The ones with great pitching. The ones who got people like Q kicking ass. Nice to see Rios comes to the party in KC. Yeah, I know he must have fallen asleep in Cleveland. Lord knows I don’t like to stay awake in that city either. Gordon Beckham has been super so far, and you have to love this Morel kid. After all, it was hit that put us in the lead for that game I was happy about the result yesterday.

Pinsiero finale: The Sox are coming home to a 3-2 start. Not too shabby. I can’t believe the Rays are who they are this year. I feel like they have reverted to the old Devil Rays you know when Boggs, Conseco; all those guys would go to Tampa to call it quits. With Manny and Damon on the team it brings that feeling to mind, but can’t ever underestimate any opponent. Just go out there and beat their ass. Happy thoughts to all of you as business is about to pick up. GO WHITE SOX!!!!

Sox Need a Bullpen and a Doctor

2011-04-06T09:19:00.001-07:00

I’m pretty depressed today. So don’t pay attention to my anger issues too much here.

Uno-To Tony Pena and Will Ohman. Can the two of you just leave? That way Ozzie won’t use you. Find a nice little spot on the Dan Ryan next week and do your warm ups there. That way, maybe our team will have a chance to win a game.

Due-Things aren’t looking easier for the Sox as Adam Dunn has an appendectomy. He should be out for a week or so. What’s going on here in baseball? Didn’t Matt Holiday get that last week as well? Is this some new sickness in baseball that is related to, dare I say steroids? Relax I’m joking. Don’t want you to get your head swelled up.

Tre-So the NFL apparently isn’t the only organization with a work stoppage? Apparently another one with a little more power and influence might shut down this coming Friday. That would be the US Government. Due to budget cuts, spending bills and who might get affected by them, the government might be closing for business. This means the municipal divisions and firefighters will be there to serve the public, and you will get mail. You need to file your taxes by 4/15 but the “refund division” will not be open. Anyway you guys can get money without giving it back works for you clowns. This is why I call for less government or borderline anarchy. These people are buffoons.

Quattro-Kirstie Alley apparently was dumped on the floor by her dance partner on dancing with the starts so I guess you will be looking for the cheap fat joke here? Not so, I am wondering why Mr. Dance expert couldn’t execute the move correctly, and Alley has no shame. She is probably still laughing at the incident. Either way, while I was reading this story, I read about her interaction with George Lopez being called a pig and now she wants his kidney. I think the two should just get a room and get it on, and bring back the George Lopez show. Imagine the two of them jumping on that trampoline together.

Cinque-Katie Couric has quit trying to do the news, and has become part of the news with that announcement. See I knew Diane Sawyer had you smoked woman!!!

Sei-Blackhawks, Blackhawks, Blackhawks. Why or why can’t you get your shit together? The Canadiens were in a slump and you couldn’t find a way to finish the job could you. I am beginning to believe it won’t matter if Sharpie or even Bolland come back. This team is screwed!

Sette-Oprah has announced her last show is 5/25. Thanks for the birthday present Oprah. I mean mine is the 20th but better late than never.

Pinsiero finale: I have heard many people mocking Tiger Woods and making comments that he is done. This man is one the greatest golfers of all time. Sure may not be the best husband or human being of all time, but when you poke giants, they awaken, and stomp everyone in their path. Take caution PGA, take caution.

See you all tomorrow,
M

I'm in Advertising Now

2011-04-05T07:53:00.000-07:00

Sorry I was gone yesterday. Had to take care of my little one, and had something to do for work. So let’s get to it for today.

Uno-White Sox destroyed Cleveland this weekend. Well except for Sunday, but hey we can get that one back. I would like to see them do the same to the Royals for the next two days. One of the biggest problems with them last year was their division record of 32-40. Considering that two of the teams in that division were punching bags, that number should have been higher. They have to beat up on the Indians and Royals this year, and own the Tigers like they used to. All they have to do is find a way to kick the Twins in the balls every chance they get. They must dominate the division this year. Kill the division, conquer the division; win the division.

Due-The White Sox also destroyed their bullpen as while the chance was there to possibly come back and win on Sunday, Will Ohman made sure that wouldn’t happen. We cannot rely on former Cubs or LOOGYS ladies and gentlemen. LOOGYS need Kleenex. I still wish they kept Putz around. Also Alex Rios get with it pal. You’re 0 for 12. My daughter wants to see you hit MF!!!!

Tre-Shameless plug number one:

. Peapod is great for groceries and provides superior customer service. (I happen to know one of their employees is a pretty great guy) Try the service out, you might like it!!!!

Quattro-Yes the Blackhawks blew it big time against the Lightning again. Yes Dallas is one point behind with 4 more cupcake games coming up. Meanwhile the Hawks get Detoilet two more times, Montreal and the Blues. I just hope the Hawks can get into this playoff and not sing the Blues. Yes we will most likely get the crap kicked out of us in round one, but damn it lets get there and find out.

Sei-Congrats to the Heat for sewing up the southeast division against the Nets the other night. More hard work to follow as the Celtics seem to be coming back and the Bulls will be the hardest nut to crack in the bunch.

Sette-One more shameless plug. Yesterday I had a chance to go to Moe’s Southwest Grill in Deer Park. They had an awesome burrito with tofu on it. Yes I said tofu at a Mexican joint. It kicked ass. Mondays they have a great deal with Burrito, unlimited chips and drink for $6. If you are out in the area of Rand Rd in between Lake Cook and Quentin, do yourself a favor and try it out. It’s a good place.

Pensiero finale: A big shout out goes to a friend and former co-host of my show the Point years ago. Mr. John “Rock” Mamola has moved up in the world. He will be the assistant PD of WDAE 620 AM in Tampa. I am very happy for Rock because his work ethic has been unquestionable as he is the same guy I met back in 2002 when I interned at the Score and he taught me some production skills. We had some great times on The Point and “yes and no” one of my favorite segments of The Point was his idea and we could never finish that segment with a straight face. Rock, I would like to say I’m jealous as you get to live out my dream of working in radio in Florida, but then again covering the Bucs would never be as fun as covering the Phins, LOL. Just kidding and good luck my man. We will be watching.

Don’t forget about Peapod gang. I get stuff if you order. Pace!

M

I Like the White Sox: Let's Get It Started

2011-04-01T08:29:00.001-07:00

Good day baseball fans! At least Sox fans good day. Everyone else, I could give a rats ass.

But here we are, the 2011 season is upon us and I’m feeling good. I look at the team and I can’t tell you how unbelievably happy the DH merry go round has been torn down in the amusement park known as Guillenland. You know I feel like the whole Kenny and Ozzie argument with that kind of resembles the Kiddieland argument. You know, the people who ran it didn’t own the land, so they were forced to shut down. I loved Kiddieland. I don’t know about you guys, but I am so sad that I never got to take my kids there. Anyways, back to baseball.

So we have a solid bat who may strike out a little too much, but when he hits the ball, it’s going to fly out of the park; perhaps knock out a light or two. Eat that Robert Redford you douche. Why are you throwing first pitch at garbage dump when you should be at the Cell? I am excited to see what Mr. Dunn can do for this team. I think Beckham will shake off his sophomore slump and perhaps extend the line that Jim was talking about throughout the entire season. And let’s see what this Morsel kid can do at third, ahem, I mean Morel. Morsel sounds better.

Anyway I have a six pack of questions for this year. These are my questions, and feel free to comment guys and gals:

What kind of impact is Jake Peavy going to have?
Maybe the question is how many times this guy is going to the DL and/or doghouse. I love his determination and the fact he wants to help the team win. However, I really think he needs to take the whole month of April off. A rested Jakey will most likely be a more effective Jakey, and him being in the 5th starter role makes him even more dangerous if he comes back right. I am just scared to death that Kenny committed another David Wells here.

Can the outfield keep the buzz going?
Last year was a fine year of production from Juan Pierre, Alex Rios and the mighty Q. They seemed to stay healthy, and give us some good times at the plate. If Pierre got on base, he was stealing. Rios has been the CF we have been dreaming of for years, and Q didn’t hit any bats with his fist, so I guess it was good. I am hoping for big things this year, and hopefully the three of them can deliver.

Can Teahen play well enough to get himself traded?
Mark Teahen will most likely play well this year, because he will have the role of utility man instead of starter. A very highly paid utility man. The one thing I am worried about this year with the Sox is the pen. Can Teahen play well enough to help increase his market value so we can get another arm in the pen? Perhaps Teahen may play well and help and the pen will be fine. However, I feel that ex-Cubs in the pen screw us. Don’t have a lot of faith in Ohman.

Will the bullpen work out?
Thornton as a closer? It scares me a little. He was such a great set up guy, why ruin a great thing? I’m not a stats guy, but if we look at his save opportunities he has 38 and has been successful 17 times. I think about Thome last year, and how many times did the Rays get to us when Thornton was in to close? I could paranoid here, but he is the obvious choice because Sale is unproven. I hope it goes well. I didn’t like that Putz left, but was excited Linestink was shown the door. I am kind of indifferent with Pena. This is the biggest level of concern for me.

Can Alexei be the guy who carries this team or will it be someone else?
I look at Alexei because in my opinion he has emerged as one of the best shortstops in baseball. Definitely in the AL central. He got his silver slugger award, and I think with Beckham and Alexei there, I feel confident about our infield and I think Vizquel’s influence is there. I feel that Alexei will be the sparkplug of this team and will give us the highlight reel. He is my pick to click for the year. I can’t say Paulie because I don’t see what happened last year happening again, can’t say Q because he has to show me he can stay healthy, but I do think AJ will have a much better year this time around.

Who will be the “ace” in the rotation?
You look at the rotation and you have to feel good about it. Buehrle going forward right now looks like the guy, but I think this will be the year of Johnny. I think Danks will have a Cy Young caliber year. Should win 17-18 games and will have a low ERA. Don’t ask me why, just a gut feeling. I think Buehrle will give us 200 innings as usual, Edwin Jackson will throw lots of strikeouts and do well as a fourth, and I like Peavy coming back as a 5th. The guy who I am interested to see what happens and wonder about is Gavin Floyd. He is the wildcard of this team. If Floyd has a good year, the Sox will be going far. If not, I can’t say. I think Floyd’s performance will be a huge indicator where we will be going.

Anyway prediction wise, I see the Sox winning 90-92 games, and will take the AL Central. The rest of my predictions are as follows:

AL
West-Athletics Central-White Sox East-Red Sox Wildcard-Yankees

NL
West-Dodgers Central-Brewers East-Phillies Wildcard- Reds

I just think the A’s are going to win a dog fight with the Angels in the west. I like the youth over there.

The White Sox are ready to do battle with the Twins this year, but are going to have to hold off Detroit, as they have a nice rotation this year as well.

The Red Sox and Yankees are going to have a crazy year. I can’t see one of the other three teams in that division taking them.

The Dodgers are the team to beat in that division. The Rockies will make it interesting and so will the champs, but I just see the Dodgers as the total package.

The Brewers improved pitching and offensive threat makes me like them. If they can find some bullpen help, they are going to win it. I like the Reds a little better than the Cardinals because I feel there is some unrest there in St Louis with everything going on with Pujols and Wainwright out. The Cubs will find a way to creep in the race but will fall short.

Halladay, Lee, Oswalt, Hammels. Need I go on. That rotation is the dream team of rotations. Once the bats come alive in Philly, watch out!

Thanks for reading gang. Hope you are all well and GO WHITE SOX!!!! (Go Alex Rios as my daughter says. I found her an Alexei shirt in her size so she will now think the team is all Alex Rios or Alexei.)

Want some more fun, follow me @michaelcaserno on Twitter.

The Man had to Piss!!!!!

2011-03-31T07:35:00.001-07:00

OK so I screwed up. I thought opening day was today, but NOPE. It’s tomorrow. Johnny Stonerod strikes again. In the meantime…

Uno-For all you people that are talking trash about Lebron, HE HAD TO PISS. What is so hard about that? It happens. I hope he didn’t wash his hands so when he throw the talc powder in the air, his urine in on it drowning all the idiots in Cleveland. Speaking about Cleveland, just wait until tomorrow when the White Sox teach you a lesson.

Due-And for John Wall. Dude go hit a wall. You may have better luck doing so than hitting Big Z. In case no one heard, the Heat returned to their winning ways against a hapless Washington team last night. The Bulls won too. Lebron pretty much said that Derrick Rose should be the MVP, he gave up 23 in respect to Jordan, he took a pay cut to play for his friends instead of continuing to stay in a shitty city. So he made a bogus one hour special about his decision. Big whoop. Get over it people. The man is still great.

Tre-UConn winning it all. Both sides. Men and women. I see it happening. I watched an interview this morning with Kemba Walker and Maya Moore. The two make a nice couple. Unfortunately the little train that could has hit Butler station and that will be last stop. Notice KU was never brought up in this conversation.

Quattro-Barry Bonds, its time to tap out. The evidence is piling against you young man. More and more things are coming out about you, your trainers, your dog, etc, etc. Can we please put this saga to bed soon? Baseball needs to learn how to be baseball again and with the dirty laundry of steroids and what not; it’s hard to stay clean.

Cinque-There has been lots of buzz about Chris Brown performing at Dancing with the Stars. Many people love him and the majority doesn’t. Here is my official take: first off. You need to take responsibility for your actions. It would have been a great chance for you to come clean on GMA and show some kind of regret for the things you did to Rhianna (who now has turned into a S&M pop diva thanks to you). She is a classic example of what happens when you get pissed off. From Umbrella to Rated R. Anyway, instead you threw a chair through a window. Grow up rude boy. Someone must treat you that way in return. Karma sucks sometimes pal.

Sei-Hey Red Wings! How does it feel do give up 10 goals bitches?????!!!!!!!

Sette-Like I said yesterday, I will have an opening day entry tomorrow. The White Sox are going to rock this town this year.

Pinsiero Finale-So since I have started this exciting job I have now, I have been hitting the gym just about every day. My goal was to get to 200 by summer. I am at 206. Anyone have ideas how to fight off the plateau? Holler at your boy!!!!

See you tomorrow for opening day
M

Are You Happy Cleveland?

2011-03-30T08:09:00.001-07:00

Bad mood today, but happy Hump day anyway.

Uno-Ok Dan Gilbert and your toilet bowl city of Cleveland. Did you get what you wanted? Are you fricking happy? You beat the Heat. Congrats. I am sure Lebron felt sorry for your asses so they threw the game for you, but whatever. Just remember assholes, you will be forced to watch Lebron next month play for a real city in the playoffs, while you guys are sitting there picking your asses. Maybe Danny girl can write another letter about how his girlfriend left him because his cock wasn’t big enough or perhaps he was afraid to use it.

Due-Blackhawks! WTF happened last night? You were playing Boston not the Roman Empire. OK well you might as well be after the effort exuded from playing scumbag city the night before; you kind of have to expect to take the fall. However Sam Fels from Second City Hockey keeps it in perspective:

With the Stars loss in a shootout, they are three back with six to go. If the Hawks manage a 4-2 record from here on out, the Stars cannot lose another game in regulation, and the Flames will have to go perfect 5-0 to catch us. 4-2 should be totally manageable. So there's your upbeat thought of the night.

Ok so maybe all is not FUBARed.

Tre-Opening day Thursday, shit that’s tomorrow. Instead of writing my usual 7 hits, I will talk about the Sox in detail and post on SSS.

Quatro-I can’t believe that Tom Ricketts is still trying to get money from the taxpayers for renovations of Wrigley Field. If I’m voter, this is how I vote:

Would you like to give your hard earned money to a team that attracts tourists and a bunch of ham and eggers up north?
( ) yes ( ) no (x) write in answer: Are you fucked in the head?

Didn’t this man buy the team knowing full well what would be involved? He should have known that stadium or “shrine” as many of you Cub fans call it was falling apart. I guess the rooftops owners are losing money as well. Too bad. You want to fix a bad situation? Bankrupt the fricking team, move it to Maine, and got eat lobsters after you eat cock, pieces of shit. In case no one got the memo, property taxes were raised 66%. Why in God’s name should we have our hands forced into saving a toilet bowl that should be torn down in the first place?

Cinque-So Jay Z was caught hanging around in the locker room after the Kentucky Wildcats punched their ticket to Houston. I am sure he wasn’t there just to brush dirt of their shoulders. Nevertheless, why was he there? Is he scouting for the Nets, you know he is part owner of the team. Celtics GM Danny Ainge got hit with a $30,000 fine for sitting with Kevin Durant’s mother a few years back. If you multiply that number by the number of players in the dressing room, I am sure it would be less than 99 problems for the jiggaman.

Sei-Mad Men isn’t coming back until 2012? Well now, let’s hope that’s before December. I mean isn’t the world supposed to end or something?

Sette-I am guilty. I decided to follow Charlie Sheen on twitter. And quite frankly, I would expect more from a raving lunatic and a “winner.” He speaks of this “warlock.” And quite frankly I have no idea who that is? However, I did come across an interesting article in Time about his father and the movie Apocalypse Now (one of my top movies, I love that film.)Read this article and you’ll see some shocking developments that occurred during the filming.

Pensiero finale-While on the Charlie Sheen wavelength, a user’s comments tickled me:

“I'm pretty sure no one will need anything explained, Charlie. No one who watches the show is going to see a new actor and go, "Hey, what happened to Charlie Sheen?"

Have a great hump day folks!
M

DAY 2

2011-03-29T07:58:00.000-07:00

Buon Giorno everyone. Are you ready to go? I am.

Uno-The Blackhawks and HOSSA HOSSA HOSSA!!!! Love them. In fact I am sporting my Hossa jersey today. What a game last night. Now we have to win against Boston and the Wings two more times. This is got Pepto Bismo written all over it. That’s OK. Welcome to hockey in springtime baby. It’s the best, especially when your team is in the mix.

Due-So as critical as I may be of President Obama, I think his speech last night hit a home run. The US shouldn’t be involved in every foreign policy mess there is, and Obama called upon nations in NATO to eat dinner while he served appetizers. We stayed away from Egypt. Although I believe Obama has missed on many domestic issues like healthcare, economy, and unemployment; I feel he has done a good job, so far on foreign policy. Start the process but let others do the dirty work, stay out of it for the most part.

Tre-Bears President Ted Phillips has said, “sure you want to see our books, we will open them.” This after the owner of the Denver Broncos has. Look quite honestly I don’t know what the hell is going on with this lockout. However…

RickyWilliams (twitter page) It’s turned into the billionaire-millionaire fight. I think you have missed the point. Mass media trumps common sense once again.

So what is it then Ricky?

Quattro-The Bulls lost yesterday AT HOME!!!!! The Celtics lost AGAIN to Indiana and my boy Psycho T. Chuga chuga chuga chuga CHOO CHOO!!!!

Cinque-Today in a super battle of women’s basketball, its Connecticut Huskies against the Duke Blue Devils. Everyone better watch or you might get bitchslapped by Geno Auriemma, especially if you’re an UConn fan.

Sei-Jackie Chan is dead! No he’s not. What a bunch of fiddle fucks on twitter.

Sette-Do you ever get back into bands you were really into and found out they produced a bunch of albums you don’t own? Go ahead and answer. Ministry is that band for me. I have about 4-5 albums I need to get my hands on to get caught up.

Pensiero finale-I leave you with a tweet from Chad Johnson or as you know him, Ochocinco…

Chad Ochocinco Ever tried? Ever failed? No fucking matter!!! Try Again!! Fail again!! Fail better!! <-- if this don't get u hyped you've no pulse #1luv

Talk to you all later,

M

I'M BACK!!!!

2011-03-28T07:26:00.001-07:00

I have been slacking. I have to get back into this. Oh wait, here I am. Ready go!

Uno-The Cubs did something they should have done sooner and released Carlos Silva. Silva’s fragile ego has been exposed and he’s crying about how he should be a starter, and how he will get the Cubs back. The sad thing about this is the brand new pitching coach, who’s name escapes me at the moment gave jabroni the bad news, not manager Mike Quade. I’m sorry but when it comes to releasing a pitcher I believe the manager should be there as well as the pitching coach. As far as the fat fuck Silva goes, you’re going home making $11 million doing nothing. So take the money and shut the fuck up. You were overpaid and delusional all these years.

Due-The White Sox have decided to break camp with 11 pitchers as Ozzie was unable to make a decision between Brent Lillibridge and newcomer Lastings Milledge. I love the move. I believe Milledge had a kick ass spring and I really would like to see what he can do in the major league level. As far as Lilli goes, I really enjoyed his play last year and I am happy to see go. Teahen as far as I’m concerned is the odd man out and hopefully they can find a way to move him. Just wondering how the Peavy soap opera is going to play out. Put a leash on that bulldog guys. He wants to eat too much!!!!

Tre-I declared myself a Heat fan this year in case you haven’t been keeping score. However, I am quite impressed with the Bulls and the damage they have done in the Eastern Conference this year. Derrick Rose should be the MVP of the year as not only is he amazing, but he brings the rest of the team to a whole new level. I would like to see my guys do that in South Beach, but here’s to hoping.

Quatro-Speaking about South Beach, Mr. Ross said he wanted to see the team open up the field, but Mr Sparano says no! We’re a run team first. Nice to see a man stick to his guns, but I hope you have them ready to defend yourself. We need to see some kind of spark from this team this year; otherwise the only thing that gets opened up is Sparano.

Cinque-Chad Johnson is trying out for soccer. Is the labor situation that grim? Will we see B-Marsh try out for the Heat next year? I watched a report on ESPN about Ochocinco trying out for soccer, and how his football experience helps him to receive the ball and maneuver it swiftly. I hope the best for him. Sure the guy is a real ham and egger, but I think he has a good heart and wants to compete. I wish we could get in on the Phins.

Sei-So the Hawks blew it Saturday. I really want to see them make the playoffs and possibly make some magic moments there, but I feel like its slipping away.

Sette-And congratulations to Butler and Virginia Commonwealth for upsetting two of my final four picks. Butler won me my pool last year eliminating some of the dragons, and this year they won me money on spare bets. Butler I am rooting for you, although much love to VCU for wiping out a #1 seed in Kansas and making all those analysts shit in their drawers. However, I got to pull for the boys who made me some money.

Pensiero finale-I would like to say happy birthday to 2 of my 3 girls. To Avery, who just turned one, happy birthday little girl. You always make daddy smile when you yell his name when he comes home, and to the love of my life little Vicki Lee. You have helped me to be stronger and better, and I love you very much.

Talk to y’all tomorrow or something,

M

I Jumped on the Bandwagon and No Way in Hell I'm Leaving

2011-03-11T07:31:00.001-08:00

When Lebron made his announcement, I was in utter disbelief the way he did it. He ripped the soul of out Cleveland and flushed it down the toilet. Given my relationship with the city of Cleveland (never had any good experiences there; nasty people), I thought it was fricking hilarious, but kind of douchey. However, Lebron and D-Wade have always been two players I really enjoyed watching. Since I have pledged allegiance to one team in south beach for many many years now, and considering I really have not cheered for any basketball team, I decided, eh what the hell? Why not the Heat? After all, I always picked Alonzo Mourning and Larry Johnson when I played NBA Jam back in the day (I know they were the Hornets but Zo is famous in Miami more so than Charlotte.) I have always been a big Riley fan. Was really happy for them when they won in 06, so sure, I’ll cheer for the Heat. There was the whole nWo angle and everything I wrote about earlier in the year when I first joined this site. So I jumped on the bandwagon.

I must say that the year so far has been a roller coaster. Living in Chicago, you can only imagine how much grief I have taken the last three games from Bulls fans. Plus I have 3 friends who like the Celtics as well. However, I will say this. I believe in this team. I believe that D-Wade will convince everyone he is the closer. I believe that Lebron will continue to dominate while he’s here. I believe Chris will find his role with this team, and the rest of the boys will pick it up. This team has too much talent to fail.

The last week has been tough, but last night was like getting out of the hospital after suffering a broken heart. I have pledged allegiance to the Heat for better and for worse. Through thick and thin. I really wished I lived out there with many of you so I can go to games and hang with you at the bars (this including many of the fine people I have met and conversed with at the Phinsider). I just want to say; sure I jumped on the bandwagon. But having said this, there are four teams that my loyalty is with. The White Sox and Hawks in Chicago and the Dolphins and the Heat in Miami. That is the way it is. My faith in the Hawks was rewarded last year, as well as the Sox in 05. The Heat will bring the title back home. Not sure if it will be this year, but it will happen. I hope that this past week was a wake up call to many of the role players on this team. You have two of the greatest superstars in the NBA playing with you and sharing the same goal. To win that championship (or the four, five, six that Lebron talked about). If you want it, you got to take it. You need to step up. Lebron and D-Wade can’t do it all themselves. I liked seeing Mike Miller hit some threes last night. I liked watching Mario Chalmers come into his own lately. Hell, seeing Z get some boards and play some D was fun too. It’s a great start and we will be in the playoffs. Let’s carry that action through March and April and become “hot” because the hottest team in the playoffs is the most difficult to beat.

And to the Bulls and Celtics, it’s a new season come the playoffs. This time, we will be ready.

Thanks for listening.

GO HEAT!!!!!!

Twuck the Fins!!!!

2010-08-02T06:14:00.000-07:00

No not the DOlphins!!!!

Hello boys and girls. I’m back.

First off I would just like to say it’s nice to be a fan who isn’t murdered anymore, and I see no usefulness in Al Yellow over Cheat. Yet, the conversations in that were fricking hilarious.

So anyway, having a second child has kept me from doing lots of things. One; living a normal life, which will most likely never happen ever again. Two; keeping up with my blog on the hiimmichael.com site, and keeping up with some of my favorite people here in SSS. Three; the mass quantities if marijuana I have ingested since my second daughter was born to stay sane. Just kidding on the third one gang.

This has been a season for the ages. And I don’t know what part. The landslide to the pits. Riding Ozzie’s comet to first place. So many things to take in, however I am still waiting for that punch in the gut to Minnie and Paul and the group of flaming bitches that represent them (yeah Thome, I’m talking about you too Mr. Gentleman Masher.)

I am sick and tired of the Twins. They’re the little cut in the mouth that would go away if you would stop scratching it. This week, there’s a chance to step on the throat of the Tigers and put them out of their misery. So after that little task gets completed at Comerica, we need to really figure out a way to get rid of the M & Ms, and the other group of pansies for good so we can win this thing.

Yeah Twinkies, you and your little gay ass Target Field pisses me off. I wanted to be the one that push the button to detonate your God damn terror done, and now we have your two little queer bait representative looking over everyone who plays in your “park” smiling at them. Well smile at this. Fastballs coming from a real bullpen striking out your man crush Joe Mauer. O-Dog getting picked off and of course finding a way to contain the infamous Punto from doing more damage to himself than others.

You see guys; I believe we can win it all again like we did in 05. But we must find a way to get this monkey off our backs! These diseased little monkeys are worse than the zombies in 28 Days Later. They keep coming back. With the injuries and everything, they still find ways to win. It’s really annoying. God damn Santa Claus looking mofo Gardenhire keeps us on our toes. Sure the Yankees will give us issues, but we can do it.

I really don’t want to hate on Teabag. I mean who tweets in the perspective of their dog. It’s kind of funny in a drug induced sort of way. But seriously dude, stay away from third base. An old man can play it better than you, so you have no place being there. And Omar isn’t too old, but he sure has helped things out. Spectacular defense and brings the best out of savior and Che. I am waiting for the scene in the Club where Kenny actually talks about extending this guy’s contract. What’s the basis behind it? Speaking about behind, can we leave Mark Kotsay behind in Detroit? Seriously, like have the bus leave him behind and he can find Eminem and they can do a duet together or something. I’m sure his hip hop skills resemble his baseball skills. I used to think Kotsay played somewhat decent. Grinderish. Now I think he’s just a tool.

Did we ever think we would see the day when we wanted Lillibridge to stay on the team? I know right.

And now, Edwin Jackson. Look, I know Dan Hudson pitched a great game in Zona last night, and everyone’s freaked out about the $8 million owed to a pitcher who may be a slight upgrade now has been stuck with us, due to a certain GM being a little loopy and asked for a skyscraper for the price of a two flat. I truly believe Cooper can fix him and Mr. Jackson will get us to where we need to go this year. Hudson’s not ready for that. Personally, I think this Lucas Harrell kid did well his first time out. I thought that story kicked ass. However, I don’t know if the kid can do it again. I just hope Peavy makes it back next season, or Kenny really took a dive.

Well anyway, thanks for listening to my rambling. I will try to keep up with this on a more regular basis. Thanks and talk to you later.

It's Here!!!

2010-04-05T05:24:00.001-07:00

Can you smell it? Finally, opening day has arrived. Let’s see what this White Sox team can do. I am so excited about this season, and of course I’m looking forward to seeing you guys at the meet up later this season but for now, lets throw those questions out there for y’all to ponder.

Will this DH by committee thing work out? I don’t know about you, but I’m sitting here nervous as hell. A guy we loved has now joined the team we hate, and he could have helped. Yet, we’re going ahead with the KotsayJonesQuentinRiosVizquel project. I can’t think of nothing better to make us want to go get thunder blunts to calm down due to the anxiety we will experience while one of these guys come to the plate.

Sure the rotation kicks ass, but can they stay healthy and consistent. Will Mark Buehrle refrain from throwing any perfect games or no hitters? After all, he hit the tank afterwards. Will Jake Peavy be able to jump on top of the dog pile, or will he get himself injured again only to sit on top of a different pile we won’t talk about or want to smell? Will the youngins Danks and Floyd be able to hit the ground running, and can Floyd do it without our help? And then there’s sweaty Freddie. Can he stop himself from getting shelled like in Spring Training?

Will Alex Rios play like a $13 million player, or will he be a ten cent twit?

Will Q be the superhero we all dream of, or will he be on the cutting room floor of DC Comics?

Can Matt Thornton and JJ Putz put the bromance on hold and anchor this bullpen?

Will Bobby Jenks be able to avoid little black stones in places we don’t want to think about or talk about?

Will Mark Teahen play as well as his dog tweets?

Will the savior beat the sophomore slump, or continue to light the field with his presence and of course that old hit from the 80’s by the Outfield?

Can Che hold the ball in his mitt?

How many guys will AJ throw out at second, and then out of the clubhouse. Wait, that’s Ozzie’s job. I’m telling you, one day AJ will be in charge of this team.

And finally, will Ozzie keep his job?

Yeah that’s right. If our beloved White Sox happen to be under 500 by All Star Break, he gone. If the Sox miss the playoffs, he gone! I hate to see it happen because I love him, but this whole season rests on him. He made the decisions; he pushed Kenny for the team he wanted. The White Sox need to play to save his ass. I am sure Kenny doesn’t want to get rid of him, despite what the media says. However, Kenny has people to answer to, and has a team to build. He knows what he wants, but he’s stepping back for some reason.

And golly gee people, can you wait for that reality show to hit MLB network?

Yes folks, it’s finally here. White Sox baseball, for realz. I am excited and hope you are too. Let’s enjoy it, no matter the outcome.

Oh yeah, and go Blackhawks too!!!!!

I WILL BE RETURNING SOON

2010-03-05T07:58:00.000-08:00

Certain activities in life have stopped me from bringing you the creative crap you have come to expect from me.

I will talk to you all on Monday.

Some Superbowl Points

2010-02-03T03:55:00.000-08:00

Let’s nail down 7 things in football today, shall we?

1-Joey Porter obviously doesn’t want to be on the Dolphins anymore. Coach Tony Sparano says he keeps all player issues in house, but unfortunately Peezy thought it would be so cool to go on the Jim Rome show and offer these nuggets:

"I won't accept it no more, you know what I mean? I accepted it last year because I'm a team guy. I just want to play, have fun and win football games."
``When you're winning, all of this stuff is (swept) away. But after seeing how last year went, asking me to come back and play that role again, I can honestly say I won't come back to do that. I can't be happy about coming back playing that role.''
(when asked about being traded)
"I mean, it would just kind of be the smart thing to do. `Why keep a guy there that you want to make a role player? You're paying me enough money as a starter. So why pay me all that money and make me a role player"
"If you make me a role player, it's saying you really don't want me, right? I mean, I just gave you 17.5 sacks last year."

Role player? Who the hell asked you to be a role player? People just wanted you to show up and it took you like 11 weeks to do that against Carolina. You didn’t get those 17.5 sacks two years ago, not last year. You only got 41 tackles and 9 sacks, so how many this year? I think the scoreboard at Foxboro says it all. If you want to leave dude, go! Don’t let the door hit you where the good lord split you pal!

2-Mike Martz, who many thought would be the Bears offensive coordinator, now, gets that title. After all the posturing, rejections, and silly ass crap that took place over the last month, Mike Martz will be the OC. He wanted the job, but put on the side for months, Mike Martz will be the OC. He met Jake Cutler for dinner in Tennessee, and now, Mike Martz will be the OC. Does he make the Bears better? I’m not sure, but what I do know; Mike Martz will be the OC of the Chicago Bears. I have a feeling this dialogue duplicates Lovie Smith when Jerry Angelo brought up names of candidates for him.

3-Look, I’m tired of listening to everyone bash the Pro Bowl. It is what it is. A game designed to celebrate the achievements of many of the superstar players in the NFL. The ratings were decent. There were some bright moments in the game. Matt Schaub played well and justly deserved the MVP. It isn’t a game that means anything, much like all the All Star games in sports, with the exception of MLB because of the silly home field advantage stipulation. If you people all talk about making it mean something, perhaps you can use the same rules of play (no sacks, no blitzing, etc) and play the game in the middle of the year like every other sport does. That way, its light contact, its fun, no one gets hurt; it’s all fun and games. Just my opinion.

4-This no cap situation for next season can get hairy, but I just found out today that the eight teams who were in the playoffs have special provisions against signing new free agents, which means Jerry Jones, no free agents for you. However, Dan Snyder still will be in the mix for that. This will be a huge opportunity for your Bears and my Dolphins to get better. I find myself nervous about this year coming up, but it could be like cowboys and indians. Lots of dealing, lots of money. I just hope it doesn’t lead to a lockout in 2010.

5-A few nuggets on the Superbowl. First, I don’t see the Saints winning despite star defensive end Dwight Freeney possibly not playing. Peyton Manning has the experience and the skills to win any game he wants. The two he loss, he didn’t make that decision to lose. I believe the Colts could have run the table. This game, if the Colts win, will trigger the question “is Manning the greatest QB ever?” Does 2 Super bowl wins give you that along with all the records he’s broken? I will leave the debate to you.

6-And on the other side, the New Orleans Saints would love to upset the Colts, as I would like to watch them do it as well. Not that I have any hatred for the Colts, but I just appreciate what the Saints have done this year. I like Sean Payton, and Drew Brees. Payton is a local boy from Naperville as well. However I would like to point out that a Superbowl win for the city of New Orleans, will be fun, but not beneficial. You will not see another 100 house pop up due to a Superbowl win.

7-And finally, once again, I picked the Colts, but I’m cheering for the Saints.

Enjoy the Superbowl.

They're Just Kids, Man!

2010-02-02T05:09:00.000-08:00

This is the story of a couple of young men. Some who were a couple of good time Charlies in Vancouver, and one who’s devoted to his faith. For some reason, the media wants to pile on both of them. For the life of me, I don’t get it.

Let’s start with the boys in the limo. The Chicago Blackhawks Kris Versteeg, Patrick Kane, and John Madden had a good time with a couple of young ladies in the back of a limo in the wild streets of Vancouver, BC, Canada. They had crazy sunglasses, shirts off, and drinking. We don’t know if anything happened or the boys just screwed around being nutty. Being in Canada does make you nutty. Sometimes in a good way. The only problem with what happened; one of the girls thought it would be fun to take pictures, and they ended up on the internet.

Lets be frank here, the Blackhawks rule hockey right now. The franchise has gone through one of the biggest turnarounds in sports history. You have one of the best offenses in the game. They’re for lack of a better word, rock stars. People want to hang with them, and I’m sure some young ladies in the old BC would love to hang with the best thing going in hockey right now. I don’t know why Kaner sits there in his underwear. I don’t understand what’s up with those glasses Versteeg has on. What I do know, with the exception of Madden, they are young boys.

Boys will be boys, and everyone wants to make a big deal of this, why? Perhaps here in Chicago, no one knows who the Bears new coordinators are, and that story gets older than Chris Chelios everyday. I am sure worse shit happens in other places. At least we didn’t see the boys make it rain and punch strippers in the face. They’re not waving handguns in the locker room. The youngsters aren’t shooting needles in their buttocks in toilet stalls. They’re just some young punks having fun. Sure John Madden has a wife at home, and he’s flexing for the camera. Perhaps he’s drunk. We all have done dumb things when that happens. You know, get drunk. I once woke up with a rhino when I got drunk. Just kidding.

Then there’s the other end of the spectrum. Tim Tebow and his good family values. It seems many want to attack the young man for his belief in God, and family. He has always been a target of criticism, and it sure doesn’t make a hell of a lot of sense to me. However, he’s taking a beating now for being the spokesperson for Focus on the Family, a Christian based organization that does work for goodness. Yeah they suck. Anyway, Tebow will be speaking on a pro life commercial on Superbowl Sunday and many people say that there’s no place for this type of advertisement on “the new holiday” of America. Well, for one it’s Sunday, the holy day of rest, so it has all the right to be there. Just kidding.

In all seriousness, throughout all the ads for Go Daddy where you can supposedly see Danica Patrick naked or whatever, all the ridiculous beer ads, why not have a message of Goodness? Sure, some people may be pro choice, well get your organization to do a pro choice ad on Superbowl Sunday. Point being, Tim Tebow is a young man who comes from a family that does amazing things, all being good and just. The boy shouldn’t be attacked for his beliefs. People accuse of trying to push an agenda down everyone’s throat, but what better day to express your message, than the one day us fat, lazy, Americans watch more TV than any other day.

The boys in the limo from the Blackhawks, and Tim Tebow are not what’s wrong with society. What’s wrong with society is that is passes judgment on a young man trying to do good, and a couple of kids just screwing around behind closed doors. It’s a shame that camera phones are everywhere nowadays. Perhaps society should take a picture of itself, and hang it on the wall, and walk away, like when stupid things like this come up.

HDH: OZZIE and NADY want to coach the BEARS and get FAVRE as QB so the BLACKHAWKS can go to THE HALL with TEBOW

2010-01-27T07:25:00.000-08:00

So call me Mr. cranky pants because I’m in a shitty mood people.

1-First off congrats Ozzie Guillen. You single-handedly sent one of the best DHs in White Sox history to the enemy. Jim Thome now plays for the dreaded Minnesota Twins and will get paid the very expensive salary for one year of $1.5 million. I’m sure he would have taken less to play here, but no. Ozzie wants DH by committee. Jim Thome wouldn’t have gotten enough at bats. Come on Ozzie, that’s horseshit. Just admit that Thome doesn’t fit into your master plan. He would rather have two guys take on the DH role that have .650 OPS between them, one hasn’t bat over .250 in three years, and the other has had back surgery twice. Yes that would be Andruw Jones and Mark Kotsay. I guess he’s betting that Quentin, Rios, and Ramirez all return to top form. As far as Jim Thome goes, the man who was my friend is now my enemy. Prepare to be struck out by the White Sox pitching staff, who will have to be the ticket to October baseball this season. Please Kenny, tell me you’re not done yet.

2-To the Cubs, yes you signed Xavier Nady. Congrats to you as well. You have gone from a sucky team, to a less sucky team. I am so proud of you. Now, all you need is a pharmacist in the dugout to give Carlos Zambrano some Zoloft when he blows up again, a waterboy when the team gets mad at the Gatorade machi…scratch that. We wouldn’t want the poor lad to get hurt.

3-The Chicago Bears can’t find any coordinators. Everyone they interview, or attempt to interview decides to stay with their current team, or go join the Raiders. It’s a sad state of affairs when someone would rather work for the old, frail, and crazy Al Davis, rather than your “storied franchise” that has people lining up around the block to work for, at least Lovie Smith made that comment earlier in the month. “How are we going to convince someone to come here to coach the Chicago Bears, our offensive positions, defensive positions? Believe me, people will want to come here.” Oh yeah Lovie. They’re all sitting in their case at Hallas Hall waiting for Jerry to show up to get the job that they will lose in one year.

4-Brett Favre, you got your ass whipped on Sunday. You were beat up, picked off, and made to look like a fool. Who throws a ball when they have room to run for 5 yards or so? Brett does. Why? Because he is the king of the NFL. I seriously hope retire this time. If you’re not going to retire, then please make the decision in the next few days. I don’t need my Sportscenter infiltrated by your bullshit on a yearly basis. Sure, you’re the ironman. You’re the legend. You’re the immortal number 4. Do be a bitch. Make your decision early. If you come back, great. If not, spend time with that wife of yours who would like you home to do the dishes for once in your life.

5-On Sautrday night, I felt depressed due to the Vancouver Canucks drumming of the Chicago Blackhawks 5-1. What a piss poor effort. By then I find out they’re riding around Vancouver in a limo with their shirts off and other weird shit. If this happened before the game on Friday, well that explains a lot. I am sure everyone on the team applauds the actions of these stoners. I would also like to include that it’s a good thing a limo took them around town, because we’ve seen how Patrick Kane deals with cab drivers.

6-Andre Dawson will be wearing a Montreal Expos hat when he enters the Hall of Fame. Yeah, that’s right Cub fans. The Expos were a great team for one, and two, the hall doesn’t want the Cubs or Ron Santo. Go ahead Cub Fans, bring up Fisk. He had one of the biggest moments in the playoffs as a Red Sock, hence the real he went in as a Red Sock. And ofcourse, Ron Schueler screwed him over as well. I am sure Fisk had a hand in that. Now, he’s an ambassador for the White Sox, and has no idea what that means.

7-And finally, former Florida QB Tim Tebow will be doing a spot for Focus on the Family, a religious group that opposes abortions. The spot will be a pro life stance with Tebow as the spokesperson. Apparently all these womens groups have been protesting the spot. Sure it’s OK for the racy spots to air, but when it comes to killing a life, that’s crossing the line. I think Focus on the Family has the right to express their views regarding the issue, like many womens groups who welcome the practice of killing embryos for whatever reason they may have. If Tim Tebow feels this strongly that he wants to talk about it on an ad during the Superbowl for thirty or sixty seconds, God bless him. Good thing we live in America, where free speech rules.

Honorable mention: Allen Iverson=All Star???? LMFAO!!!! I think the All Star committee needs to get some PRACTICE!

And that’s me today. Enjoy yours.

M

Win or Die!!!

2010-01-26T05:01:00.000-08:00

It worked for P Diddy back in 2004 didn’t it?

Vote or die! Good times.

So in 2005, it was “win or die trying.”

Now it’s up to the Chicago White Sox to play to save their manager.

Ozzie Guillen said it loud and said it proud. Jim Thome, you’re not needed in the south side. And I am sure I hear the sound of some Sox fans applauding. Yeah, Jim Thome, he clogs bases, he’s too slow, and he’s getting old. Let me ask you guys something. The little DH parade that Ozzie’s leading, who on that float is younger and better than Thome? I mean “younger and better” at the same time.

We talked about this last week for a little bit. Andruw Jones has not cracked .250 in the last three years. This isn’t the 90’s where Jones was a great all around player with Atlanta. No, after he left them he joined the Dodgers where his bank account and belly blew up. Mark Kotsay had a great year with the Sox last year, however he’s had back surgery like Thome and hits for average not power, something you want out of a DH. And of course there’s the all mighty Omar Vazquez who can’t play when the team is getting blown out because it would be insulting. He’s much older than Thome. (Well maybe not much). In other words, how can you have DH by committee and send Thome away, when your committee doesn’t match up? Flexibility works, but you need better players than what Ozzie has to work with.

Although I love Thome, I am not entirely opposed to sending him away AS LONG AS THERE’S ANOTHER OPTION. So far, I don’t see one. The problem with Ozzie’s plan is that he is trying to fix a house with toy tools rather than craftsman. And furthermore, isn’t Kenny the one who’s supposed to get the food, while Ozzie cooks the dinner? Kenny Williams wanted Thome back here, so shouldn’t he be back here? Since when does the manager tell the GM what he wants to do? Maybe Kenny wants Ozzie to learn a lesson about roles. Maybe Kenny might be setting up Ozzie to take a fall, because he rocks the boat. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Let the conspiracy theory talk begin. Point being, Kenny picks the players and needs to tell Ozzie to sit down and let him do his job.

Ozzie made his decision, and now he must live with it. He let Jim Thome go, and now possibly to a divisional rival. It would make me sick to see the gentleman masher hitting balls over the wall at the Cell in a Twins or Tigers uniform. I am sure it would make you sick as well. Perhaps using him a small role here on the south side would have one, kept him off rivals teams, two, given us better offensive production, and three, kept a fan and player favorite around to keep spirits high.

So if the White Sox truly love the wizard of Oz, they need to win this year, otherwise I believe he’s a goner. This is his team. The team he wanted. The team he designed. They must perform. If this team’s record is under 500 by all star break, I think Ozzie will be done. Kenny Williams didn’t spend all this money to get guys like Jake Peavy and Alex Rios so Ozzie could fuck things up in his infinite wisdom. If Rios works out, and Q returns to form, this conversation means nothing. Sure, Ozzie’s philosophy on the DH is flawed, but if the players step up, who gives a shit about rotating DH or not?

We as Sox fans are very afraid. I think that’s why we have all this hate mongering towards Ozzie and everything. We look at his plan and see little or no sense in it. The players that you are picking over Thome are worse than Thome. Collectively or by themselves. We are going into this year gambling. Gambling that the starting pitching is going to carry the team into October. Gambling that the defense will improve. Gambling that Carlos Quentin, Alexei Ramirez, and Alex Rios will display the potential to become the players they were a couple years ago. Yes sir that Ozzie Guillen sits at the table with Doyle Brunson pushing his chips all in holding a flush, ace high.

Let’s just hope that Doyle doesn’t come up with the boat, or Ozzie will be on leaving the south side.

The Superstar and the Super Team

2010-01-25T05:33:00.000-08:00

And then there were two. The two teams that it should be.

Yes, the Jets looked great in the first half didn’t they? However, they ran out of gas. Peyton Manning showed the Jets what it means to play the Colts with starters in the game. Pierre Garcon shined brightly, and the Colts defense made big plays. The Sanchise and that big dummy Rex Ryan got their traps shut for the rest of the year.

Brett Favre in all his infinite glory had a hell of a year. He led his team to the NFC Championship, but after a big hit, threw two picks. One at the end of the game with :19 left. And then there were the 5 fumbles before that as well. This game wasn’t what I imagined it to be, but nevertheless, it sure was fun. Watching the Saints win it made me smile. That city has been through hell, and they have something special to celebrate.

This story has the ending it should. The two teams that almost went perfect this year. The number one seeds. The clash of the leaders. This Superbowl coming up gives us the idea that in the NFL, the little engines that could have run out gas. It takes a special kind of D to stop the high flying passing game. This league has become a passers paradise, and although running the ball works, the age of the 2 minute drill lives on.

So for the postseason, I am 4-6 for picks. Both of mine came in this week, but I will be under 500. I guess I can pick the Pro Bowl, but why waste time?

One thing I know about the Pro Bowl, the AFC in my opinion is superior to the NFC. However, many thought this time since it’s a week before, things would changes with the “superstar game” of the NFL. Nope, people still pulling out. It doesn’t matter where you put it. Hawaii, Miami, Alaska; many players don’t take it seriously obviously. Perhaps it’s a fun time, but you can go to Chuck E Cheese’s and have a fun time as well. My pick will be AFC 24 NFC 14.

As far as the Superbowl goes, I honestly am stuck. Both teams have an unbelievable quarterback. The defense on both teams has been strong. You have so many people to throw to on each side. However, as much as I want the Saints to win, the Colts have been here before. Peyton Manning can execute the 2 minute drill better than anyone. I do like the Colts offensive line better than the Saints, and no, Peyton isn’t going to throw the game because dad played QB for New Orleans. It will be a great game, and it’s very hard for me to pick a winner. Indianapolis 31 New Orleans 27, but I just want to be on record that I am cheering on New Orleans to win this one.

It has been an entertaining season, although I wish the Dolphins could have done better than they did. However, with a new defensive coordinator, some draft picks, and the mind of Bill Parcels, we should improve dramatically.

In the meantime, let’s enjoy what promises to be a wonderful Superbowl.

Time for the Big Guy to Come Back Home

2010-01-22T03:45:00.000-08:00

As we get ready to begin the baseball season (and I am very excited about that), the White Sox look like a bad ass team. The starting pitching on paper looks strong, the infield should be better than last year, Quentin hopefully will be healthy and return to 2008 form, and I like the Jenks, Thornton, Putz combo in the pen. However, I like many Sox fans, have one issue. It’s a small one, but could lead to a big problem.

This whole rotating DH thing, yeah, I’m really not liking it. Sure if you had some reliable help, maybe. I don’t know if Mark Kotsay can be the everyday first baseman, with Paulie stepping back to take DH duties. Andruw Jones? Sure strong start to last year, but ended with .214, and hasn’t hit past the .250 mark in the past three seasons. You can’t trust a guy like that to be your DH. Back to Kotsay, sure he hit .278 last year, and seems like a good contact hitter. However, DH=power, not average. You want your DH guy to have pop, and I don’t mean Pepsi or Coke either. Quentin DHing? Yeah, but he has shown improvement in the outfield and I for one thinks he should stay out there. Otherwise, Jones becomes an everyday player. Don’t know about that shit.

So, there’s JD and Jim Thome. The two guys we let walk away. Well, Thome didn’t walk, Kenny sent him to Hollywood. Now, both guys seem to be having trouble finding a new home. Rumors have Dye going to the Padres or the Cubs (eek); and a few teams have shown interest in big Jim, but reports say the Rays are the only team that we know about.

Jermaine Dye still thinks he can be an everyday outfielder/possibly first baseman. The Sox aren’t buying. However, Jim Thome. Hmmm. I think Thome may be an option. Will he be aiming for number 600? Of course. I would love to see that in a Sox uniform. That’s just the Sox fan in me talking. However, who do we have on this team that can hit for power? Paulie? Well last year he got started right away, unlike the last few years before that when we’re all waiting around until July for him to start knocking balls out of the park. AJ? Well, he’s OK. However, I don’t think of AJ as “the power guy.” I think he brings a lot to the table with his batting. However if you want someone who will give you 30 to 40 home runs and lots of RBIs, Jimmy is your guy.

I have heard many people say that Jim Thome is the “most selfish player on Earth” because he wants to reach 600 home runs. Who the hell wouldn’t? It’s a hell of an accomplishment and a short list? However, he wants to do it with the Sox. People talk about speed, speed, speed. Thome isn’t the fastest guy on the planet, but I do see him hustle and occasionally take an extra base on a base hit. However, the important thing here is when guys like Pierre, Ramirez, and Beckham get on base; Jimmy will be there to drive them in. He’s a dependable hitter and I can remember on many occasions how his long ball or clutch hitting has bailed out the Sox in the 8th or 9th inning when they were behind 2-3 runs.

Look, he’s a great guy for the organization. His teammates love him, we love him, and he does strike out, but he makes up for it with some timely hitting, and those clutch home runs. If you’re like me, you will always remember his homer in the tiebreaker versus the Twins in 08 and one of the biggest moments of Sox baseball. Since not too many teams are going after the big guy, perhaps he will come to the White Sox for a low price, which takes any element of risk out of the equation.

I think we owe it to ourselves as Sox fans to get behind this move, and welcome the “gentleman masher” back to the south side with open arms.

HDH: NOLAN ditched MCDANIELS for OZZIE because TIGER had JD over to watch HOCKEY and REMEMBER things

2010-01-20T11:39:00.000-08:00

Here we go…

1-First I would like welcome Mike Nolan to the Dolphins as the new defensive coordinator. This man brought the Broncos defense some spunk. In 2008, they were ranked 29th, and when Nolan joined the team, they shot up to 8th so I trust he knows a little something about defense. So thank you trifecta, let fun times happen in the NFL and with the Dolphins in 2010.

2-Secondly, I would like to thank Josh McDaniels for, well, just being himself I guess. I mean who wants to work with this guy. Apparently no one. Cutler left the building; some coaches are gone, and little TO looking for a new home as well. Now, Brandon Marshall may just be available at the right time for the Phins who are looking for that number one receiver. Perhaps, Josh McD shouldn’t act like number two…receiver, I guess I blew that one.

3-I heard that the Guillens are planning on doing a reality show. You don’t have to look far. Go to the dugout at the Cell. That should suffice. In other words, Ozzie don’t do it man!!!

4-Tiger Woods has proclaimed that he’s a sex addict. Many don’t buy it, however I for one do. When you go to Perkins to order up a grand slam, and they don’t serve that there, I believe you’re a sex addict. Especially when you take notes from Sideways and have the same result except I don’t think Tiger left his wallet at the girl’s house when her husband came home.

5-Rumors continue to circulate that White Sox World Series hero Jermaine Dye may be staying in Chicago, just on the wrong team. Wondering what you think about it? Me. I try not to. I don’t think I can be mad at JD. He’s trying to prove he can play OF everyday. Man needs to work. I will always be grateful for JD and all his contributions to the White Sox and wish him well, as long as he doesn’t join the fucking Cubs.

6-I love the fact that all these sports stations love to talk hockey now, and all these closet hockey fans call. I am waiting for the day when someone schools the hosts on their ridiculous commentary on hockey on air. Topics like, if the opposing team doesn’t have a lot of shots on goal; which goalie is the more dominant? When will Marian Hossa pick up the pace? The Blackhawks need to keep it up, or the Nashville Predators will catch them. How about that road trip? Come on guys, be more compeling. Props to Dan Mcneil. He makes hockey talk compelling.

7-And finally, condolences to the family of Gaines Adams, a defensive end on the Bears who died at the young age of 26 due to an enlarged heart. Sure, he wasn’t one of the Bears that you read about, but he’s young, a family has lost him, and I heard about it. Therefore, Godspeed.

That’s all for now. Talk to you all soon.

What the Hell's in a Name Anyway?

2010-01-19T07:26:00.001-08:00

And so another name change for the home to my favorite football team, the Miami Dolphins. WTF?!?!?!?!

Last year, Jimmy Buffet and his brewing company Margaritaville (go figure) bought the naming rights to “Dolphin Stadium” as its name changed to “LandShark Stadium.” That’s his beer. Now Sun Life Financial has bought the naming rights and for the next 5 years, it will be “Sun Life Stadium.” Wow, that sounds so great. It’s a sunny life in Miami.

I don’t get it, why does the home of my beloved franchise go through so many name changes? I mean, look at this…

1987-1996 Joe Robbie Stadium

1996-2005 Pro Player Stadium

2005-2009 Dolphins Stadium

2009-2010 Landshark Stadium

2010-? Sun Life Stadium

How can us Dolphin fans (and Marlin fans since they share the place) keep track anymore? At the end of the day, if the team gets more revenue, they should be able to get a better team on the field. So get to work trifecta!!!!

So, while we’re on this pointless topic, I thought I would take a look at some of the other name changes on stadiums, nicknames associated, and other fun things related. Please add your 10 cents if you’d like.

Of course, being a Sox fan, how can I forget Comiskey Park to US Celluar Field? I found myself angry at the change at first, but then us Sox fans came up with a cute little nickname, “the Cell.”

In Minnesota, the dreaded “Metrodome” has been renamed “Mall of America Field at Hubert H Humphrey Metrodome.” ????? Feel sorry for you people in Mini. Just call it MOM I guess. No wait, MOAM. I dunno. Come up with something better if you can.

In San Francisco, the ever popular Candlestick Park, changed its name to 3 Com Park, and then Monster Park, and now San Francisco Stadium at Candlestick. Someone must have had a bad experience with a Candlestick for a few years, and then decided they liked candlesticks afterwards.

San Diego had Jack Murphy stadium, later renamed to Qualcomm stadium, and then the Padres obviously didn’t like cell phones, so they opened their brand new state of the art stadium named after a pet store. PETCO!

Some quick funnies..

Gund Arena in Cleveland to Quicken Loans Arena? Gund’s like a legend out there.

Shutting down Three Rivers Stadium in Pittsburth to open Heinz Field. Yes the ketchup.

Building Miller Park for Milwaukee County Stadium in a city famous for beer, nice touch.

Washington’s RFK Stadium became the Armed Forces Field and then morphed into Fed Ex Field. You sold out our troops for Fed Ex? Really Dan Snyder?

Back to Cleveland, the Jake (Jacons Field) to Progressive Field. Does that stupid little bitch that looks like a naughty nurse in the commercials throw out the first pitch too?

The Delta Center became the Energy Sollutions Arena. They went green since airplanes contribute to the environmental problems on the planet.

Shea Stadium becomes Citi Field, and then new Citi Field built across the street. I heard someone say it would be a cold shea in hell if someone renamed their favorite stadium. Good thing they didn’t say day.

The Boston Garden got trashed for the Fleet Center, which is now known as the TD Waterhouse Garden. Kind of like Madison Square Garden, where’s the “garden?” No one be growing veggies out there. Although, the Knicks do play like vegetables.

If you can think of anymore you find funny, add them here. Talk to you tomorrow.

The Lightning Didn't Crash the Jets

2010-01-18T04:52:00.000-08:00

Dude, I think I’m going to be sick.

How can the Jets be going to the AFC championship?

How can a guy who hasn’t missed a FG for three years miss three in one game?

Only the Jets and their jack ass of a coach can catch that kind of lightning in a bottle. Their defense does kick ass though. They know how to run the ball and make good things happen. I won’t deny a team has talent even though that coach of theirs put their douche in bag. Shame on you San Diego. You were the favorite to win the conference and you fucked it all up. Same old Chargers. Find a way to choke. Norm Turner will probably be gone too.

To the Baltimore Ravens, thank you for making me look like an ass. Ed Reed, one of my favorite safeties in football, can’t hold the ball. The Colts tore your asses up, and I sincerely hope that the Colts will show the Jets what its like to play a team at full strength, and not half assed when the Jets beat them.

As far as “who dat nation” goes, holy shit did they come back hard. The Saints have arrived ladies and gentlemen. Kurt Warner, time to retire. Anquan Boldin, you said you might have to stay in Arizona, I don’t think your ass has a choice since you spend more time on the sidelines nursing injuries, rather than making big plays. Drew Brees and his boys returned to the scoring machine that we knew and loved before the Cowboys got to them a little more than a month ago.

And how about them Cowboys huh? The so called legend of Favre game them a lesson in “why I think I rule this league.” 4 touchdowns and watching Tony Romo getting sacked six times. Wow! So we have the battle that many of us football fans have been yearning for? The Saints vs the Vikings. Should be a great game.

I am 2-6 for the playoffs so I officially suck! Let’s see if I can slow down the suckage here.

Minnesota Vikings @ New Orleans Saints
Brett Favre is a gangster. Pure and simple. He can throw, he’s tough, he has Adrian Peterson to run if needed. Jared Allen leads an evil defense. However, they’re going to the bayou. I can’t say the home field advantage will help the Saints that much. We saw them blow their perfect season at home against Dallas. Yet, Drew Brees can hit and has as many targets as Favre has. He also has Reggie Bush to run. This will be the game of the year, and it’s hard for me to pick a winner. I think the Vikings have a small advantage on defense, but I also believe that Brees will find a way to work around that.
Final: New Orleans 41 Minnesota 38

New York Jets @ Indianapolis Colts
I am scared to death to see the Jets make the Super bowl. It could happen. The defense of this team is deadly. The run game of the Jets has been one of the best in the playoffs this year. Sanchez has been coming of age in the playoffs, but the buck stops here. Everyone thought Phillip Rivers should have won MVP, but Peyton Manning got it again this year. And in this game, he will prove why. The Jets D may be good, but it sure isn’t unstoppable. My Phins proved that with a rookie QB running an excellent 2 minute drill on Monday Night Football to win. Nobody executes that better that Manning. He has a great offensive line to block him, which will be the match up to watch (O line v D line), his receivers will keep pro bowler Darelle Reavis busy, and the Colts have the capabilities to put a lot of points on the board to make the Jets D a non factor. In order for the Colts to win, they will have to attack that defense hard in the first half. I believe that’s why SD didn’t get the win. One touchdown in the 1st half won’t do it. However, I see the Colts scoring 21 points before the end of the half, the Jets coming back in the second half, however, the Colts will come through.
Final: Indy 31 NY Jets 24

If you’re putting money on these games DO NOT listen to me. I don’t know shit. Once again, I’m 2-6 for the playoffs this year. I officially suck.

Have a wonderful week. Talk to you tomorrow.

REPORT, REPORT, REPORT!!!!

2010-01-15T09:36:00.001-08:00

It’s not that far away. It all begins in late March. You can smell the beer in the air; see the sex in the stands, and the errors on the diamond in Chicago. Then, there’s White Sox baseball when everyone watches a baseball game, and isn’t concerned about the social club at Clark and Addison.

Yes my friends, baseball season’s coming right around the corner and will be here before you know it.

Time for us White Sox fans and Cub sheep to trade shots at each other. Then again, what’s the point? We know who rules this city. At least with the baseball fans, not the tourists.

You guys got rid of your cancer. Congrats. And then you go and sign another former Ranger to a 3 year deal. Someone who had a great year last year; but for some reason the ivy blinds the potential of players, and they become shitty. They like to hop, skip and jump before catching a ball. They forget how many outs are in the game.

However, look at the White Sox, and you will see the man who will not only help the White Sox surpass the Cubs this year, you will see a man who’s determined to bring the trophy with the flags back home to the south side, where it belongs. That man’s name: Jake Peavy.

''Nothing else matters except that ring now. I have done the other stuff. I know you need to put up the numbers. I'm financially blessed thanks to the game of baseball. To win the Cy Young was the coolest thing individually that I have done. But I'm not in the gym every morning now for the Cy Young. I want what the boys did in 2005. I want that dog pile, that memory, that ring. If you're not dreaming of that same thing, I question where you are as an athlete.''-interview with Jake Peavy in Sun Times today.

This man sounds hungry, sounds passionate. Perhaps you can sense a little “Chicago Tough” in him. After reading this interview today, I believe that Jake Peavy will pull his weight and we will be in great position come October. In the meantime, Cub fans, you guys may have to take a number, because St Louis has you beat again. After all, they’re the Cardinals, the pride of the NL Central.

There’s many reasons to be excited on the south side. I look at the pitching rotation of Peavy, Mark Buehrle, John Danks, Gavin Floyd and Freddy Garcia, I get excited. Although I am concerned about the bench, I still think if they’re on, it’s going to be a hell of a bench. I like the fact we have a lead off guy not named Scotty Pods. Thanks for 05 Scotty, but we’re just not into to you right now. We have a young superstar in Gordon Beckham. There’s much to be optimistic about for the White Sox.

However, questions still loom. One, will the addition of Mark Teahen be a benefit, and can he handle third? Two, are we going to do this rotating DH thing, or will someone else be here to take over? Three, will Alex Rios live up to his potential? Four, will we be able to celebrate Q like its 2008, or dread it like its 2009? Five, how will our bullpen work out? (I think the bullpen may be fine, but I’m concerned about the depth)

These questions need to be answered and answered fast. So as I said earlier, I can’t wait for baseball to begin. And Cub fans, take this as a warning, because there won’t be another. Get ready to lose a few games to us, and to see us walking away with the WS Trophy this year.

GO WHITE SOX!!!

Someone Sign Me Up for the College Business

2010-01-14T08:02:00.001-08:00

Ah yes college. Where boys become men and coaches get their asses paid.

College sports without a doubt can be called the biggest hypocrisy in America. What used to be known as a learning institution can now be called a “cash cow.” Sure, its old news, but I take a look at the whole infrastructure of the institutions for higher learning in the United States of America.

So come into my classroom, take a seat. Put your books down and grab a cold one, as professor Mike C is about to explain the class.

1-Remember school isn’t about education; it’s about getting into the NFL or NBA as quickly as possible.

Yes, I know. In the end, it’s all about making the Benjis, but I find it laughable that many of these schools talk about education. That’s why you will see teachers give passes to student athletes. You see freshman and sophomores leave school to go into sports. I believe that blame should fall on the sports organizations for allowing people to enter the draft early, but I don’t see schools doing anything to discourage this practice. People don’t care if they’re educated anymore. They want the money and the fame. The average career in the NFL, hence the saying NFL means “not for long.” Perhaps, learning some skills will do you some good because nothing gets promised to anyone in this life.

2- College sports=huge revenues for schools

So many schools have sponsorship deals, and with ESPN showcasing them, it’s a hard trend to ignore. The colleges make so much money on this stuff, and if you notice, certain schools are featured over others. Duke, North Carolina, and Kentucky are three schools you will always see on ESPN. I don’t like the idea of exploiting students for financial gain. Sure some of these kids love the fact they’re in the spotlight, but the whole thing makes me feel kind of dirty.

3-If you’re going to coach; do not proclaim loyalty to any school.

This enables you to find a way to make more money. When I think of school coaches, I think of people who went to the school, and want to make a difference in the growth process for many student athletes and build relationships. Not in the good old NCAA. Coach jump around to schools like there’s no tomorrow. At one time, you could associate certain coaches with schools. The only reason Bobby Knight ended up at Texas Tech had to do with someone making accusations and him losing his job. Many of the old school coaches are still with the same schools. Going back to Duke and NC, Mike K and Roy Williams. I see guys like John Calipari jump from school to school for more money, and Lane Kiffin and his magic act going from Volunteer to Trojan. And you see more and more of it. Remember the Brian Kelly episode? No loyalty in college sports? It’s a bunch of horseshit when you recruit kids to come to your school, only to leave for a better offer. I understand more money means motive. However, when you are playing with kids futures here, it’s not right.

4-Remember ND and SEC get preference.

If you want America to see you in action, join Norte Dame. I ask myself why in the hell is America subjected to this Norte Dame shit on a weekly basis? Team hasn’t won a bowl game in how long? There are better college games to showcase. CBS features the SEC on a regular basis. I understand the SEC can be considered the best conference, but many other conferences and college programs have something to offer as well.

5-You can make money joining a certain school.

Back to Knight, he asked why a coach goes through 3 different schools, and the two before him have recruitment violations. It seems to me, payoffs to join schools happen all the time, and the NCAA could do a better job of stopping it.

When it comes down to it, March Madness is my taste for college sports because its fun to watch. Everything else, well, gets an “F” from me.

M

HDH: CAROLing in ST LOUIS with some DOLPHINS and CUBS while CONAN is watching the BULLS on TV

2010-01-13T08:04:00.000-08:00

Today is Wednesday, and its hump day. On with the show…

1-Pete Carroll left his little nest at USC to go to the Seattle Seahawks. This should be interesting, but I find it more intriguing that Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin bolted after one year of coaching in the Volunteer State to take his job after being the 4th or 5th choice. This guy goes through jobs like frogs with lily pads. He goes through the Al Davis freak show in Oakland, becomes a “clown” in Tenn and takes shots at Florida coach Urban Meyer. I can’t believe he bolts after one year. Sure he put a good staff in place, but to leave after a year is horse shit.

2-To anyone who wants to say Albert Pujols is under a microscope because Mark McGwire took the hitting coach job in St Louis, you’re delusional. Pujols may be the most complete player in baseball, and he said he would give back his entire salary if he ever tested positive for PEDs. I believe in Albert Pujols, and I know in my heart he never did or ever will used PEDs.

3-The Dolphins fired Paul Pasqualoni, their defensive coordinator with good reason. You saw how the Dolphins D quit on their last 4 games in the first half. Someone has to answer for that shit, so the old man gotta go. So hear this Bear fans, we will get our coordinator before you do. Count on it. Parcels, Ireland, Sparano > Angelo, Smith.

4-The Cubs, after all their shit, have decided to hire Greg Maddux as the assistant GM. Huh? I have never heard of anyone in baseball needing an assistant general manager. Sure, Kenny Williams has Rich Hahn, but he doesn’t need him. I say Jim Hendry, your successor has arrived, and you better do something good this year. OR this can be some PR move by the Ricketts? Like saying they would retire Andre Dawson’s number if he goes to the hall as a Cub. First off, dipshits, Dawson doesn’t get to pick, and secondly, Dawson made his name with Montreal, not the useless Chicago Cubs.

5-I would like to say Conan O’Brien should not go back to NBC and NBC should stand for NOT BACKING CONAN. I know Jay Leno got the Tonight Show job because he kissed everyone’s ass, and Dave Letterman’s attitude didn’t do him any favors, according to things I have read. But come on guys. He wanted to leave the Tonight Show to do his silly ass primetime show. Conan stayed with NBC in hopes of taking over the seat, and you guys did him like this. Whatever. I would like to say three things about Conan. One, he looks like my dad. Two, he’s funny. Three, Fox would benefit greatly using him as direct competition to both Networks. I wish the best to him, and hope one day NBC execs trip over Jay Leno’s chin.

6-Bulls rumor again regarding fossil Tracy McGrady. Joakim Noah is the Bull to go. The little bit of love I have for the Bulls goes down the toilet if that deal gets done. Noah is a huge reason why I cheer for the Bulls! He better not go anywhere!

7-And finally, update on show. Today I will be making final touches on it, and I should have an announcement on the airdate tomorrow.

Thanks for reading. Bye for now.

M

$16.50 Will Get Anyone Into The Hall Mr McGwire

2010-01-12T05:00:00.000-08:00

Come on people, can we say shocker? No I don’t think so.

We all knew it. Mark McGwire didn’t want to talk about the past. He said so himself. However, for the last 20 or so hours, that’s all he wanted to talk about. We’re the bored priest on the other side of the screen while Big Mac confesses his sins to us. Do we tell him to say 20 hail Marys, sleep on a bed of thorns, and go on with his life? Or does he get held accountable for his actions?

McGwire and some schmuck on the Cubs named Sammy Sosa are the two people that are credited with the term “saving baseball.” The home run chase brought everyone back to a game that seemed to lose a lot of steam since the strike in 1994. The truth of the matter that everything these two players did is based on drug use. Prescribed or not, doesn’t matter. Sosa hasn’t admitted to anything, McGwire has. Point being, its kind of like saying you play darts better when you’re drunk, you take steroids to improve your game.

Sure, I watched the interview with Bob Costas on MLB network last night. Mark McGwire’s a broken man. He sat there with a cup of water, choking up, talking about how he hadn’t taken the roids to make himself better. He took them to play through the pain. His body took wear and tear in the 162 game marathon. God gave him enough talent where he didn’t need them, and he wished he never played during the steroid era. He got himself sucked in to the evilness of PEDs. Canseco never injected him; he took his drugs by mouth. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Sir, no one really gives a shit about your excuses. People question your motivation.

As many know, McGwire was hired on as the batting coach for a team that I can say is my favorite NL team, the St Louis Cardinals. Their manager is the legendary Tony Larussa who managed the Oakland A’s team that the famous basher brothers were on. That’s McGwire and Jose Canseco. Both admitted steroid users. Mac says Tony didn’t know about it. Come on, really? Mac now protects his friends. His parents didn’t know, his family didn’t know, no one asked. Anyone buying this shit? Not me. I understand the whole “never rat on your friends, and always keep your mouth shut,” but I believe if McGwire kept his mouth shut about himself for many years, he’ll protect his friends and family as well.

I’m not going to judge. It’s a shame that the big comeback in ’97 has the word tainted all over it. I feel sorry for Mark McGwire because I see a man who has been carrying a burden for the last 5 years or so. Can I forgive Mark McGwire? Its only baseball kids. Everyone talks about records and asterisks and all that. Everyone says what do you say to your kids? You tell your kids that some people used stuff to be better, and some didn’t. Take a look at the 10 active (or could be active) players on the list. Everyone except for 3 names have been linked to PEDs. They are, Ken Griffey Jr (who I think can be the real hero of the “steroid era”), Jim Thome, and Frank Thomas. They played for the greatest team in baseball. Hopefully, nothing ever comes out about them. Then I can say the stars on my team remained clean in the steroid era. The Maggs rumors are a little staggering, however.

Yet, the fact is, you can’t trust anyone these days in baseball. It seems like everyone has a story, everyone has a reason; everyone is keeping the bones in the closet. Frank had some crazy ass injuries during his career, but many believe that was him trying to stay away from Spring Training. Nevertheless, if we want to be fans of baseball, we must know that silly shit like grown men injecting each other in the ass, and people taking substances happened. It’s a fact in life, and if you want to throw away this great game, that’s your business. Me; I will try to embrace the Chicago White Sox winning another World Series, and moving along. So to hell with Big Mac. He’s one player who did what he felt he had to do. He didn’t lie, but stayed silent at a lawyers request. He needed to fight the pain; the pain of being mediocre. He needed to come clean, to make sure Cardinals Spring Training isn’t a three ring circus come February. However, the most important thing; we don’t want to talk about the past. So let’s try to enjoy the present.

My title was inspired by my buddy Horacio’s Facebook status. Want to give credit where its due.

M

No Payoff From the Playoffs

2010-01-11T05:44:00.001-08:00

Wow! What a bunch of crappy playoff games, except for that Green Bay/Cardinals game.

That game was one of the worst defensive games I have ever seen in my life on both sides of the field. You felt like watching the game, the team who got the ball within the last minute of the game would win. And it could have been Arizona, if their kicker could nail down a measly 35 yard field goal, but no he blew it. However, when it came to overtime, his line backing friend Karlos Dansby forced a turnover and brought it into the end zone and the Cardinals advance to the divisional playoffs. How ironic that in a game with little or no defense, a defensive play ends the game. Jason Goff, Score producer and on air personality brought up a good point after that game. He asked why in football when it’s a blowout, its considered a good game, but a high scoring baseball game is bad because the pitching was off. I think that’s a good question. Maybe we’ll delve into that more during the week.

I am sick to my stomach about the Cincy/NY Jets game. What happened to the heart of the Bengals? All these people died on their team, and they were talking about winning it for them and shit. However, they didn’t win a God damn thing for them. Instead, Cedric Benson played, and everyone else kind of laid down. Kind of cute to see one of my most hated teams move along in the playoffs. How long do I have to see this fat fuck brag, smile and laugh on TV? Note to Rivers, LT, and you damn lightning bolts; please cancel these guys tickets to Miami. They don’t belong there.

While we’re on teams I hate, how fun was it to see Tom Brady get his ass handed to him yesterday by Ray Lewis. The way Lewis played, you would think he knew what plays were being called. In fact, he said he studied tape and learned the nuiances of the line and what not. Nice work Ray Ray. The Ravens defense seems to be in form, and as I said earlier, I don’t know how effective this Patsies team will be without Welker. Nice to see them get killed in Foxborough. I have officially adopted the Ravens as my team to cheer for in the playoffs.

And then there’s the NFC rivalry between Dallas and Philly. I thought Philly had what it took to explode on teams. Quite the opposite, as Tony Romo broke his December/January curse in a big way. He hit 23 out 34, 244 yards with 2 TDs. The game was quite boring, like most of the games were.

So I thought I would share my picks with you for the next few games…

New York Jets @ San Diego Chargers
They say defense wins championships, and lets be honest, as much as I hate the team, the Jets do have the best defense going in. However, the Chargers are not just you average ordinary Joe blow team. They have a quarterback who regularly hits targets, a two man running back attack that will tire out any D, and their defense is no slouch either. Let’s be for real here, Mark Sanchez isn’t ready for primetime, and you’re playing an elite team that isn’t pulling their starters. Final San Diego 33 NY Jets 13

Baltimore @ Indianapolis
Everyone hates the fact that Indy rested their starters as soon as the number one seed was locked up, but it may work for the better. Peyton Manning is MVP for a reason. He came back six times this year in the fourth quarter. He has many different weapons to throw to, and unlike the Patsies missing their chief slot receiver, Indy is at full strength. However, you can’t count on the Ravens. Their defense looked really good against New England, they put lots of pressure on Brady, and Ed Reed is back to his old self. The Ravens are comfortable on the road and going to the oil rig will not scare them. I think this Ravens team looks mean, and is ready to eat some Campbells Peyton soup. I will call for the upset here. Final Baltimore 24 Indianapolis 21
Dallas @ Minnesota
The legend of Favre looked like it was flying high for a while, but fizzled for a little bit into a feud between the head coach and said lead warrior. However, in a game before the playoffs, the Vikings showed that they still got it. However, I take a look at what the Bears did to them at full strength, and same with Carolina. These are two bad to mediocre teams, and the Dallas Cowboys have proven they are a true threat, and I believe that Tony Romo and his resurrected group of receivers will have the last laugh in what promises to be a shootout. Final Dallas 38 Minnesota 35

Arizona @ New Orleans
Quite frankly, this one is hard to pick. If you asked me 2 months ago, New Orleans would be an easy pick. However, Kurt Warner is the official playoff quarterback and Larry Fitzgerald is one of the best receivers in football today. Now sure the Cardinals torched the Green Bay defense, but I didn’t see the Cardinals standing tall in the 4th of the D front as well. I believe that New Orleans has the better defense, and although this game to me promises to be the best one of the four, I think you have to give the edge to New Orleans because one, they’re at home, two, they’re rested, three, they have to make good for the last three games of the season, and they’re going to come out hard. With that being said, I am not sure Arizona’s defense can stand up to it. Final New Orleans 28 Arizona 24

There it is. My playoff picks for the weekend. Hope it works out. Although I didn’t write anything about the playoffs last week, based on my picks, I’m 1-3. So I guess I’m no expert. (I picked Baltimore over NE. The rest of the games I got my ass handed to me.)

We’ll see how it plays out.

M

Stupid Athlete Tricks

2010-01-08T09:04:00.001-08:00

In the wake of the Gilbert Arenas gun incident, it has come to my attention that athletes do really stupid things. Why would anyone bring guns into a locker room for a basketball game? And then after being busted out for it, put his hands in the shape of a gun in the middle of the huddle before the game. What an ass hat. David Stein said he wasn’t fit to play ball, so he suspended him indefinitely. I believe he isn’t fit to leave his house, but that’s just me. I thought what we would could do today is take a look at seven different stupid “athlete tricks” that have taken place over the years. No particular order of course.

1-PLAX AND THE GUN-Not only is the idiot concealing a weapon in a nightclub, but even more unbelievable, how do you shoot yourself in the leg, jackass?!?!?!?!

2-RICKY AND THE SMOKE-I love Ricky, but dude pissed his career away for years to go smoke some reefers.

3-VICK AND HIS DOGS-This gets classified under the fucking stupid category. Actually that is being kind. This was a monstrous act, and I can’t believe he was allowed to play QB for the Eagles after his crime. Sure, he did time for the crime, but his morals need to be questioned. And morals are a big part of the game according to the NFL’s top dog commissioner Roger Godell.

4-DALY AND HIS BOOZE-Sometimes you need to pickup the golf club more instead of the bottle.

5-OJ AND HIS GLOVES-If the glove, don’t fit, you must acquit. What if the lawyer is full of shit, God rest his soul.

6-MERRIMAN AND HIS WHATEVER THE HELL SHE IS-Shawne Merriman was accused of beating Tila Tequila, the reality My Space slut machine. But I don’t think the stupidity of Merriman is the alleged acts of violence against the little person who took two shots at love and lost. It’s alleged so you can’t say it’s stupid. I think the dance he does after a sack looks a little stupid.

7-TYSON AND THE EAR-Boxing is a sport when you use your hands, not your mouth. This isn’t like M&M’s. Where it melts in your mouth, not in your hand. Kind of bad relation, but what man bites another mans ear off. Holyfield’s ear still hasn’t come back, and sometimes I wonder if Mike Tyson’s sanity has either.

HDH: FACEBOOK is a JOKE, that HOSSA thought was OFFENSIVE and MCGRADY thinks DAWSON is on a TV SHOW

2010-01-06T08:51:00.000-08:00

Time for hump day. Time for some humdrum. Time to get it going baby.

1- Really quick, to anyone who asks me to be a friend on Facebook. If you’re doing it just to check up on me, don’t bother. One thing I can’t stand is when everyone thinks you’re going to grow up to be a failure, and when you don’t they get upset or something. If I ask to be your friend, I am going to actively speak to you and check in with you, joke with you. That’s a real “Facebook friend"

2-Heard a funny joke yesterday. What’s the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa stopped after three hos! (Insert drum rap here)

3-In case you didn’t get the memo, Marian Hossa has been HOT! Back to back games, he scored 2 goals, which brings his total since the night before Thanksgiving to 10, making him the sixth player to have at least 10 goals on the team, along with his 10 assists. The man who we let go, Marty Havlat, 7 goals and 18 assists since the puck dropped on opening night. Hey buddy, why don’t you go twitter this “Hossa is my dad, and he spanks my ass!!!”

4-Bruce Arians got himself fired from Pittsburgh, Charlie Weis fired from Norte Dame, and some guy from Buffalo got fired along with the rest of the coaching staff there. It’s like 31 flavors for the Bears. So many coordinators to choose from.

5-Heard rumors that Tracy Mcgrady would be a Bull. Heard a rumor he was going to the Suns. Heard one he’s going to be an all star, and then I heard one he’s retiring. I also heard that people are getting tired of hearing these rumors.

6-I am NOT a Cub fan, but I appreciate the talent of Andre Dawson. Especially when he was the one two punch in Montreal with Tim Raines, who chose to play for the right team in Chicago. Here’s hoping he gets his bids today. And also here’s to Ron Santo never getting one as well.

7-And finally tonight is the night. I will be shooting the premiere episode of HI I’M MICHAEL. It takes place in Mt Prospect. Let me know if you want to come.

Storytime With the Chicago Bears Management

2010-01-06T04:49:00.000-08:00

Bear fans, why so angry?

What did you want the entire management team wiped out like in Buffalo? That the result you were hoping for?

Well, grow up. It’s not happening. Not when this team owes the general manager and coach a boatload of money.

Do you think that the management team should be gutted out; they all get paid for sitting on their ass, while the Bears are forced to go to Walmart to get a new coach? Let Lovie have a shot. Quite frankly, you all were crying three years ago that he deserves the money when he turned around your little franchise and fixed the problems that Dick Jauron caused. He made the playoffs 3 years in a row, one being a Super Bowl. Sure he had two years in the last three where the team finished 7-9. Yet, in one year, the team went 9-7, and missed the playoffs by one game. It’s tough to beat Houston at home. You all bitched and moaned about how this coach needed to get paid.

How quick you all turn? So fickle the Chicago fan. Well, not all Chicago fans, Cub fans for sure. Its hilarious to me how you guys always want to string up the coach. You want to hang someone for this season, look at your players. Look at your offensive line. Look at your quarterback. He had a bad year. They all had a bad year. Lovie called bad plays on defense, so he no longer has that luxury. Yet, I can understand you guys being angry about the press conference yesterday.

The press conference yesterday must have been one of the biggest farces I have seen in my life. All this talk about change and what not. Ted Phillips, president, and General Manager Jerry Angelo talked about changes. Then Lovie Smith goes up there and says we’re not changing anything. The scheme works. Blah, blah, blah. So you fired the offensive coaches, OK? Now you’re bringing in a new OC. Do you really think that you’re scheme doesn’t change now?

My favorite comment of the whole thing came from Angelo. “We don’t have to work hard, because we work hard now.” Jesus, really Mr. Angelo? And you wonder why Bears fans get pissed off? Instead of Bears management on the stage, they thought Moe, Larry and Curly took over. And yeah, you would think the three stooges took over this team at times?

I think the Bears Management made five mistakes that have raised the ire of the fan base.

1-Devin Hester’s role should be to return kicks. Not be a corner, not a receiver. You took a guy who dominated as a kick returner, and somehow due to all the position changes, he’s no good at that any longer. If you want to use Hester as a secondary slot receiver, fine, but he needs to focus on his talent, returning kicks. Get yourself a receiver, and get Hester working on that.

2-I think the way Lovie Smith stood behind Rex Grossman for the longest time also didn’t help his cause. Grossman had some real good games, but mostly bad. There should have been a competition between him and Orton, but Lovie felt Grossman should have been the guy.

3-Thomas Jones was the featured back. Not Cedric Benson. Why in God’s name would you let him go when Benson didn’t do anything to give you a reason? It was once again, all college football hype.

4-Ron Rivera had this defense playing at the highest possible level. So he wanted to go after a head coach job. Everyone wants to better themselves. Why fire the guy?

5-I think this one gets a sliding scale. People are angry about the draft picks being lost over a guy who threw 26 interceptions. I can see why people get mad about the fact you sold the farm to get Jay Cutler, but a super QB doesn’t come very often. Especially for a team who hasn’t had one in at least 30 years.

Lovie did say the coaching was a problem so he would be calling the plays himself. Perhaps “no two losing seasons in a row” may have saved him. Of course there’s $11 million hanging over his head. Maybe, the McCaskeys really think big of him. I’m not sure. One thing is for sure. Your team comes to south Florida this year, prepare for a beat down.

By the way, I think it’s safe to say Bears management is on notice. You blow it this year, YOU GONE!

That’s all I got for now.

M

The End of the Road

2010-01-05T04:26:00.001-08:00

So another regular football season concluded. First I will start on my boys, the Dolphins. I am very proud of the way you guys played against Pittsburgh. It definitely makes up for the shitty play in the first half against Tennessee and Houston. Although the defense’s engines needed a quarter or so to warm up, this week’s effort surpassed anything I have seen in the last two weeks in the second half. I am glad that Pat White’s injury isn’t that serious, and hopefully the trifecta knows what holes need to be filled, and we get it done, and be major competitors next year. A quick look around the league here…

I am not a fan of the New England Patriots, but I do like Wes Welker. I feel sorry for this young man who can be classified as the best slot receiver in football (he better watch it because Davone Bess is getting up there), in a game against Houston yesterday. New England had the AFC east all sewn up but for some reason, Bill Belichick decided to play his starters, and Welker torn his ACL yesterday, and may not make it back into the playoffs. This makes for a good argument why the Colts decided to pull the starters in the middle of last weeks game against the Jets. Imagine if this happened to Reggie Wayne or Dallas Clark; how would the Colts look going in? Well, they would look like the Patriots going in against a mean Ravens defense. By the way, I heard Tom Brady might be hurt too.

Speaking about the Jets, what a bunch of lucky fuckers! First off, you catch a ray of sunshine when the Colts pull their starters and somehow every team that needs to lose loses. Then, Cincinnatti decides not to show up, which puts you guys in the drivers seat for the entire game. I can’t believe you guys were lucky enough to get into the postseason. It just goes to show you that even chumps can get in, and a team who legitimately punched their post season ticket, the Houston Texans cannot.

And look at Pittsburgh, they pull the miracle at Lambeau, find a way to beat the Ravens and Phins, and the Ravens pay them back with a win against the Raiders, knocking them out of the box. So long defending champs, no longer defending, no longer champs.

In the meantime, look at the weirdness of the NFL. Three rematches from week 17, wow! And I’m sorry, I really am not too excited for the rematch of Ochocinco and Reavis Island. Is it just me, or has this season for the NFL been kind of blah?

Anyway, I guess we’ll see what happens in the offseason. Looking forward to the Bears drama at 2pm today.

5 Points, 10 Rebounds, 2009 Committed Technical and Gone!!!

2009-12-31T05:29:00.000-08:00

So I wanted to share with you my top 5 moments of the year in sports. Afterwards we will do the top 10 in the decade. So that’s 15 points!!!! Score!!!!!

5-Everyone and their mother picked the Patriots to walk into Landshark Stadium and destroy the Dolphins. Although this game didn’t have the spark and the introduction of the “wildcat” offense, to me it was still rewarding because of how Vontae Davis picked Brady in the end zone, and how the game ended. The Dolphins were down 14-0 at the end of the half, and Larry King was in the booth. They came and won, and all I heard the second half from the Patsies side, and they were so sad. Nevertheless, it was a huge victory and it’s a shame that the Phins couldn’t ride that into the playoffs.

4-Seeing the re-emergence of the Blackhawks makes me happy, but seeing them go out and get Marian Hossa and sign him to a 12 year deal (never heard of such a thing) made me giddy. Then when he made his debut in the “Shark-tank”, scoring two goals, one shorthanded, spectacular. Absolutely spectacular.

3-When the White Sox played the Cubs at Wrigley for a makeup in September, many called it a worthless game. However, I needed to see the Sox do something fun, and they did. They beat the Cubs 5-0 winning the series for the year. However, watching Soriano drop that routine pop, I could watch that over and over.

2-Two of my favorite Sox players, Jermaine Dye and Paul Konerko hit back to back home runs at Comerica Park. Yet, what made this so special? The fact that both home rums marked each said player’s 300th home run. That’s cool!

1-But nothing cooler happened this year than July 24, 2009. I took Jersey to see the doctor and when we got out, I got a call from my Dad. He told me Mark Buerhle had a perfect game going. I raced to the car to hear the last inning of the game, and couldn’t believe it. I listened to it and watched it again and again. It was magical, but as the case in 2007, Marky Mark took a dive for the rest of the season, and so did the Sox. However with the signings of Jake Peavy and Alex Rios, along with a few new faces this year in Juan Pierre, Mark Teahen, Andruw Jones, JJ Putz, and Omar Vizquel, I am confident the Sox will be in the post season this year.

And now for the decade…

10-I’m not a Bears fan, but in Super Bowl 41, Devin Hester running back that first kickoff was ridiculous, as Mr. Jeff Joniak put it during the season. Sure he did it quite a few times during the season, but to kick off the Super Bowl that way kicked ass.

9-All I had to listen to in 2007 was that division rivals, the New England Patriots were going to run the table and all that nonsense. However, come Super bowl 42, the Patriots would learn that karma is a whore. After getting caught videotaping plays from the Jets earlier in the year, everyone called the Patsies cheaters. I had the utmost respect for the ability of Marsha Brady and company, but not only for the sake of my Dolphins being the only undefeated team in the history of the NFL, my dislike for New England made me cheer for the Giants, as with a miracle catch by David Tyree, the Giants handed the Patriots their first defeat of the season, on the biggest stage of them all.

8-I got into an argument with my brother about this, and may not be so significant, but when Nick Saban said over and over again how he was going to stay with the Dolphins, and then stabbed them in the back to go coach the University of Alabama. The argument was Saban did the best thing for his family, but many of us Phin fans were crushed. I thought he was going to stick around. Saban was 15-17 with the Phins before Cam Cameron took over the team and sent them south, more on that later.

7-William Wirtz died, and his son Rocky took over the Blackhawks. Many things happened. One, I started watching them again along with everyone else in Chicago. Two, all the legends of the team kept getting honored in many pre game ceremonies, and three, Pat Foley was brought back to the booth. Foley one of my favorite announcers coming back was huge. Oh did I mention home games were being broadcast again, and channel 9 was picking up games. It was amazing!!!!

6-Back to the Bears, in 2005 during week 11, they were to play the Dolphins in Chicago. Someone told me they would have gotten tickets but failed. The Bears were destined to be “undefeated” again by many Bears fans. Most of who I worked with when I wore my Zack Thomas jersey proclaiming he was the real 54 in football, not Brian Urlacher. A Jason Taylor interception would prove to be the dagger as my Phins ended the undefeated streak of the Bears, and they won 31-13 and everyone in the bar I was in wanted to fight me afterwards.

5-2003 was a memorable year for baseball for me. The White Sox Esteban Loiaza may have gone down with injuries throughout the years, but in 2003, he won 21 games and led the league with strikeouts. I really thought the Sox would catch the Twins that year, but once again, fell short. Loiaza pitched the game sick, and got rocked, as it would be the beginning of a Twins sweep at Comiskey. In the meantime, on the other side of town, the Cubs won their division and were 6 outs away from the World Series, when all of a sudden, a foul ball that was hit to left field, about to be caught by Moises Alou, but NO. Steve Bartman catches the ball. The problem, Bartman was a fan. A few more plays later, the Cubs blow it, and the fans all cried again. After listening to them talk shit about how the Sox choked, it was poetry, and beautiful.

4-The Blackhawks series against Vancouver last year was very exciting, and I thought they would have enough in the tank to beat Detroit, but they didn’t. However in game 5, Cristobal Huet’s save with his knee pad blew my mind. The Wings ended up winning, but it was quite the series.

3-Although painful as it was, the 2007 season of the Dolphins would show you how true a fan I am. Witnessing a 1-15 team is not easy. However getting to see the last few plays of the game at Dolphin Stadium against the Baltimore Ravens, and watching Chet Lemon throw that screen pass that Greg Camarillo ran for a TD in OT was a magical moment. Wayne Huzienga was crying in the press box, and it was an emotional moment. I couldn’t believe it. And then later in the week, we find out that Bill Parcels is coming to Miami to fix the team. He shaped that team into an AFC East division winning team that moved the dash over one space to 11-5, and with Coach Tony Sparano leading the way and reenergized QB Chad Pennington, made some major history in my life.

2-Remember that perfect game by that Mark Buerhle guy I talked about. Well just two years before that in Texas, he threw a no hitter. Mark Buehrle is the man! Enough said.

1-And the number one sports event of the year, well. While the Chicago Cubs were 6 outs away from the World series and blew it, the White Sox got those 6 outs, with Jose Contreras throwing a complete game, and lets not forget the three pitchers before him threw complete games in a row, and the Sox did it, and swept the Houston Astros in the juice box to end an 88 year old drought. The White Sox winning the World Series, yeah that ruled.

And that’s it. Happy New Year. I will see you on Monday, and remember, I start taping Hi I’m Michael next week.

Ciao.

HDH: LOUSAKA gets snubed by VINNY and BRETT while sweeping for BENGALS playing HOCKEY up NORTH for NEXT YEAR

2009-12-30T07:29:00.000-08:00

1-Pro Bowl selections took place last night. Sure all the big names were selected and a few people who weren’t expected. One person that was left out inconspicuously was Dolphins Fullback Lousaka Politte. The man can be trusted more than any other player in the league on 3rd and 4th down conversions. He has done a hell of a job blocking so Ricky Williams and Ronnie Brown can both put up monster numbers. And I guess because he isn’t on the Ravens, a more glamorous team, he gets snubbed. So good job NFL. Once again, you found a way to disrespect the Dolphins. Suck it!

2-Christmas Eve has come and gone and Vinny Del Negro still the Chicago Bulls head coach. Congrats Vinny. You made it. And that elf looking Gar Forman GM guy decided to tell everyone that they are evaluating every angle to help them become a winning team this year. Didn’t say Vinny’s job is safe, but did say that he’s the coach. Perhaps, New Year’s Eve will be the new Christmas Eve.

3-As many people saw last week on Sunday Night Football in the thrilling contest between the Minnesota Vikings and Carolina Panthers (who have been quite the spoiler lately), Coach Brad Childers and star QB Brett Favre were having a dispute on the sideline. Apparently, Childers wanted to take Favre out of the game, and Favre being the superstar wasn’t having that. No dispute this week, but due to the fact Adrian Peterson fumbled the ball again, against the Bears, Brett Favre has decided he should be the running back now as well as the QB. In fact, Brett Favre has decided he will also take tickets from the fans for the first playoff game at the Metrodome, if that happens, he will feed Michael Vick’s dogs when Minny plays the Eagles in the playoffs, and he will also conduct sideline reports for CBS as well. Brett Favre can do it all. He laughs, cries, and grunts during interviews, fakes not having injuries, and is considered a tough son of a bitch. If none of these things go down, look for Brett Favre to throw his Wranglers at Brad Childers bald ass head in retaliation.

4-Back to the Pro Bowl discussion, take a wild guess how many Cincinnati Bengals players, the AFC North Champion Bengals have in the Pro Bowl? The same number of Bengals that have gone to jail this year. I guess baby steps work, huh guys? Improvement’s a good thing my black and orange friends. By the way. Please kick the shit out of the Jets this week, thank you. Love, Mike.

5-Sportstalk radio in Chicago asks the following question about hockey, a topic not covered by many sports radio stations for years? What element of the Blackhawks defense is stronger? The defenders keeping offense away from the goal, or the goalies themselves stopping the puck? This is considered intelligent hockey talk? I think the shots on goal from the opposing team speak for itself. No brainstorming here obviously.

6-And Mike North is getting ready to wrap up the Monsters in the Morning show on CSN and getting ready to begin the Monsters and Money whatever on channel 2. In case you haven’t heard Dave Rodriguez will not be handling the money segment, and there will be no apology to Webio employees either. I guess its one man on his own as usual.

7-And tomorrow I will write a column highlighting my top 10 sports memories of the year and the decade. Should be a blast. Have the old crew together for the HIM show. We’ll talk to you guys tomorrow.

Triple Threat: Cutler's Going to Be OK, The Del Negro Diatribe, and the Blue Defeat

2009-12-29T05:39:00.000-08:00

So I felt it necessary to comment on three issues today.

First, I want to address the Bears. Nice game last night fellas. You played some solid football. Jay Cutler made all you Bear fans see why this man was signed. He shined against one of the best pass rushes in football and threw for four touchdowns and 273 yards. Not bad, Mr. Cutler. He only got picked once. This Chicago is your franchise quarterback. This is the reason you all were so giddy. Enjoy the victory Chicago. As meaningless as it is, it should give you a reason to have some hope in the future. Just pray they can continue this level of play into next year.

Secondly, to the Chicago Bulls: shit or get off the pot. Will Vinny Del Negro be your guy, or not? ESPN.com reported that the Bulls were going to fire Del Negro as soon as another candidate became available, but there’s a possibility he will last for the rest of the season, but done after that. GM Gar Forman had a 2pm press conference set up to address these items and he backs out of it. It’s not fair to Del Negro. You leave him to a sea of reporters to answer questions about a random report from a website. You don’t have his back. You send him out to the street like a child with no friends left to fend for himself; much like you did when you hired him on as coach of your team. If he’s your guy, support him. If not, let him go. This childish crap needs to stop. If you’re looking for a replacement, then look faster. Del Negro has done the best he can, and I will give him points for his effort. Perhaps his delivery has not been successful. Yet, the man needs to move on if he is to be fired.

And finally, the big thing I want to talk about. After listening to the Miami Dolphins funeral on Sunday, something else bad happened. I tuned into NFL radio to find out that the Indianapolis Colts pulled their starters in the 3rd quarter against the New York Jets. They did so to prevent injuries from happening, so they say. In their defense, you’re playing a hungry Jets team with a top rated defense who could quite obviously give your quarterback a headache. However, when you’re quarterback’s named Peyton Manning, and Jeff Saturday’s the first wall a defender needs to go through, I would take my chances.

Bottom line, the Colts and their fans got screwed. As a fan of the only undefeated franchise in football history, I would like to say that the way this went down stinks. If the undefeated record remains in tact, it should be done in a way where one team beat the other team with all their starters, at full strength, and not some pussy ass team president pulling the strings. Least of all, the fucking Jets! I feel bad for all the Colts fans that have shown this team support from the beginning of when the Colts were in our division before they became the super team they are today. The way Colts management treated those fans purely outrageous. Tickets to football games aren’t cheap. Especially in this age of people losing jobs and their homes.

While you’re sitting up there in your luxury suite Bill Polian eating your caviar and drinking your champagne, many hard working people in Indy are sitting there in your Lucas Oil Stadium enjoying a competitive football game you put the brakes on. I can’t completely hold Caldwell responsible due to the fact he’s a rookie coach, and he likes his job. But I can hold the suit responsible. Not only did you fuck your fans over, you screwed the team over. They were breaking records, rewriting history, and you stopped all of that, for what? So the New York Jets could sneak their way into the playoffs? The Jets don’t even deserve a playoff spot. They have played some pretty brutal football. I know the decision wasn’t made for the Jets; it’s for the good of the Colts winning the Super Bowl.

And guess what guys? You’d better win it now. The way that the city of Indianapolis forgets about this bad decision is bringing the Lombardi trophy back. Everything else about the Colts is completely meaningless now. It’s all about the Super Bowl, or as the radio ads say, “The big game.”

However, in the grand scheme of things, isn’t that what’s football meaning is? You play the best you can, get to the Super Bowl and win it. It’s not about having the perfect season, no matter how close you are to it. The Patriots were 18-0 going into the Super Bowl and what happened? They lost. Better to lose a game in week 16 of the regular season than being bounced out of the post season. As far as I’m concerned, you let a team like the Jets, a hated rival of mine, sneak into January football, that’s unless the Bengals take care of business Sunday night.

All I know for sure, Colts fans, is I would kill for a 14-1 season. Although the way it went down sucked, just remember you are cheering on an elite team. Don’t take that for granted. Although I’m happy to see our team rebuild and get stronger season after season, and go from 1-15 to division champs the next year, I would kill to see us kick everyone’s ass. If we were that elite team, you wouldn’t have squeaked by with that week 2 win over us. Yeah, Manning was great in that game. However, we were one dropped catch away from overtime. It’s all good though.

Bottom line Bill Polian and Jim Caldwell. Your team owes the city of Indy a Super Bowl victory. Anything less would be unacceptable. You pull starters for the sake of winning, fine. Now go out there and win. And don’t come back until you do, ya hear?!?!

Epic Phail?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?

2009-12-28T04:45:00.000-08:00

Yep, way to go Miami Dolphins.

Once again you forgot the golden rule of football. Four quarters, 60 minutes, that’s what’s required to play this game and win.

Your half ass way of football has now bitten you on the ass.

If you beat Pittsburgh, you need wins from New England (who has taken back the AFC east crown), Cleveland, Cincinnati, and Oakland to win to punch your ticket into the post season. The problem; this won’t happen not only because 2 of those 4 teams suck, but because God won’t allow it. Your team embarrassed every Dolphin fan known to man for 30 minutes on Sunday. I felt sick to my stomach listening to Jimmy, Joe, and the mad dog describe lackluster play from your wonderful team.

It’s just heartbreaking to know that all you had to do two weeks ago to get into the post season was to find a way to beat the Tennessee Titans. You guys were on idle for the first half of that game as well, but what the hell would you call this game against a less talented Texan team? Park? Sure, you found a way to get us all giddy with a comeback effort against Tenn., only to throw an interception and blow it. And yes, a nice try in the second half of this game also. To any Dolphin fan that blames the loss on officiating, get real. If this team played the first half, they would have won the game. It wasn’t the officials that blew the game for us, it was the team itself. There is no conspiracy about Don Shula pushing around officials back in the early days, or the committee on fair officiating. This being the biggest problem when your team loses; you get a bunch of whack jobs who can’t spell talking nonsense. You just have to deal with the fact the Dolphins are a work in progress, they had a tough schedule, and when it mattered most for them to win a few games, they folded. They choked. They blew it. They couldn’t close the deal. While Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, and a few other select quarterbacks are driving the $93,000 Mercedes, we’re stuck with the Hyundai to get to work.

In a game where we crushed the Colts for possession, Peyton Manning still threw for 370 yards and found a way to win. Sure, Ted Ginn could have caught the football in the end zone and we would have tied or possibly won if the two point conversion worked out. Yet, you have to admit, it was the worst 2 minute drill in Dolphins history.

The New Orleans Saints were 30 minutes away from getting their first defeat handed to them by the Dolphins, but no. We let Drew Brees do what he does. Get his team back into the game, and run away with the victory.

We let a bad Buffalo Bills team hang around, and they came back and hit us very hard.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Jacksonville Jaguars came very close to beating us, but we stepped it up hard, right guys????

If the last two weeks haven’t slapped us in the face, I don’t know what will.

This team started 0-3 and ended up either 8-8 or 7-9. I guess its fitting right? Since the last two games went with the Phins coming up big towards the end, but coming up short, it’s the story of their season. Like the Dolphins tempting us to believe they had a shot of getting into the playoffs, only to be let down by the fact this team isn’t the Cinderella story we would like it to be.

I’m sorry, I haven’t been happy with the quality of play that we have seen from the Dolphins. They’re tough, they have heart (even though you wouldn’t know it watching the first half on Sunday), and they won’t say die, even if they put themselves in predicaments that they have. Yet, until this group of guys learns how to play 60 minutes of football, don’t expect anything but more of the same. No play making receiver, redone linebacker core, new free safety, or anybody else for that matter will change that. 60 minutes means 60 minutes. Not one half, not 3 quarters, nothing! SIXTY MINUTES MUST BE PLAYED TO WIN A GAME!!!!

Am I hopeful for next year? Maybe. We do have a solid quarterback now. We have an offensive line that does a good job of getting Henne protection. If we can resign Ronnie Brown and pray for him to be healthy for a whole season, that’s a good thing. Our fullback kicks ass. We have some younger pieces in our defensive puzzle that pull their weight. The future does look bright, but through the smoke of war and the scent of defeat, it’s hard to see the forest through the trees.

I would, as a huge Dolphin fan, call for a big game against Pittsburgh for a whole football game. I would like to see Rothlisberger get dumped on his ass, even if he likes it. I would like to see the O Line handle that Pittsburgh defense. I would like to see some electricity out there. Yes the playoff scenario can work for us, as hard as it may be, and we may get in. However, this game isn’t about the playoffs. It’s about showing your fans that you give a shit. It’s about making up for some piss poor efforts the last two weeks in the first half. I will always be a Dolphin fan no matter what. But I will be a “prouder” fan if they show me they mean business against this Steeler team who has a mission. In the end, Miami has the Dolphins. The Dolphins need to make Miami believe in them, so next year, things can go better.

HDH: LOVIE and VINNY have BILLBOARDS at JOE'S on a COLD DAY with JORDAN at CHRISTMASTIME

2009-12-23T05:47:00.000-08:00

Its that time again, and we’re going to do it holiday style.

1-In a press conference this past weekend, Bears General Manager Jerry Angelo when asked about Lovie Smith’s chances of staying as the head coach, really didn’t say he would or wouldn’t. He just answered that they would have to revaluate it. Lovie’s reaction…

"I'm not really interested in a whole lot of that. We're 5-9 right now -- as I have said about three or four times, your life isn't going to be good. It's kind of as simple as that. We can keep going down that road but same answer, we're 5-9, nobody is happy about it.''

Word in the locker room has it that the Bears aren’t happy. Olin Kreutz, center led the call that change must happen, but he didn’t include Lovie. In fact, no one has thrown him under the bus. Lovie your reaction…

"You've got to talk to Olin about that. My reaction to it is right now we're 5-9. Olin is one of our captains. We all talk about what we can do to make things better as much as anything. Right now, there are some things wrong because we're 5-9. But we're working to fix it.''

When asked about what he would be doing with the family for Christmas…

"We're 5-9 right now, it's not a happy feeling when you're 5-9,''

So I guess that means the Bears are 5-9? I think that’s what he’s trying to say.

2-After finding a way to lose a 35 point lead, the Bulls decided to try to usher in an encore by being down 22 points at halftime. When they realized that’s not the right way to play basketball, they tried to mount a similar comeback like the Kings did to them on Monday night, but fell short. When asked about his job security after the game, the always engaging Vinny Del Negro said,

''You can't control that. I go about my business every day, go to work and try to help this team win and develop the younger players. We've had some bumps in the road, but the guys are playing hard.''

Speed bumps? You call a 35 point collapse, 10 games where you lose by 20 points or more, and losing to a team that has won one game speed bumps? If any Bulls fan “loves it live” this year, they’re smoking lots of dope. This team won’t play for Vinny, and Christmas Eve is tomorrow. Let’s see how you deal with that speed bump my friend.

3-Back to the Bears, some special interest group that calls themselves “Bear Fans United” has a call to the public to help them put a billboard up and some newspaper ads that will tell the Bears to fire Jerry Angelo and Lovie Smith. They are asking for $7,500 for their cause, and said a boycott wouldn’t be suitable, because “we wouldn’t want to give up our season tickets.” First off, if you’re going to raise $7500, why don’t you do something useful and help a real organization that needs it. You know, hunger, disease, rape victims, etc. Oh wait a minute; I guess you’re already doing that. Bears fans are left hungry every Sunday for quality football, the team is a disease, and season ticket holders like you are rape victims, because obviously no one in management gives a shit about the product on the field. OK then, fight on. However, that $7500 can be used for something more meaningful say giving people Christmas that can’t celebrate it because life dealt them a shitty hand. Instead of stupid ass sports, why don’t you focus on things that are more important in life?

4-In the Sun Times, there’s a story about Michael “The Large Guy” Sarno, a ledged mob boss going to eat dinner at Joe’s downtown at Grand and Wabash with his family, while he’s on house arrest on Christmas Eve. The author tries to make it out like this “dinner” is something dirty. It’s a man, going to eat with his family on Christmas Eve. This kind of stuff happens all the time. Do you really need to waste recycled news paper on this bullshit?

5-All week long I have been listening to people complain about the weather here in the Windy City. People listen, every winter the weather in Chicago will always be cold. It will be snowy and it will be rainy. It’s not going to change anytime soon. Stop your bitching and if you don’t like it, move somewhere else.

6- I touched on this one briefly yesterday, but Michael Jordan is suing Jewel and Dominicks for unlawfully using his identity in ads that honored MJ’s induction into the basketball hall of fame. Jewel used his shoes, and Dominicks used a look alike jersey. You know Michael; although I can understand why you would be upset that they used you without your consent, how about sue them for something we can relate to, like having really high prices on groceries.

7-And finally, as I leave you for this week (unless I do get stuck working tomorrow which I will write a special Christmas column), I would like all of you to root for the Dolphins to beat the Texans for the first time in franchise history bringing them one step closer to the playoffs. That is my Christmas present I ask from all of you.

Have a Merry Christmas

I Can Think of 35 Ways to Say Christmas Eve is Coming

2009-12-22T04:36:00.001-08:00

Only in Chicago, does shit like this happen.

Illinois Governor Pat Quinn spearheads an initiative to get “low level” prisoners out of jail early to save tax payer dollars.

The top basketball player in the history of the city sues the two most prominent grocery chains for trademark infringement.

And the Chicago Bulls, the franchise that basketball player’s team (which may explain why he owns a different one), blew a 35 point lead to a team that’s 13-14. Are you kidding me?

Sure the Bulls have sunk to many lows over the last month. They won one game during their annual circus road trip, beating the Sacramento Kings at home. The same Kings they let put back into the game last night. Let alone, the 10 out of 12 they lost when half of those games were lost by more than 20 points. And let’s not forget about the loss to a team that only won one game so far this season, the New Jersey Nets.

However, this one takes the icing off the cake. At half time, the Bulls led 79-44. You felt like the game was just about over, but nope. The Bulls once again found away to put themselves on the front page in front of the Bears who obviously have bigger problems. The Bulls shot 2 for 10 in the fourth with nine turnovers. The last team field goal scored by Kirk Hinrich with 10:15 left on the clock for the game.

And in the end, there’s Vinny Del Negro with a very depressed look on his face. And another gem comes out of his mouth.

“You're always trying to find ways to do a better job, and this one stings. But players win games. You have to execute. We got a little complacent, and they jumped on us. It's me; it's the coaches; it's the players; it's everybody.''

Come on Vinny. As the captain of the ship, you need to keep your team focused. You need to keep them in the game, and you and many of the players said that your team lacks defense. Oh no, my fine feathered friend, your team lacks spirit, heart, and testicular fortitude as Mick Foley used to say all the time. Your team makes me laugh in a bad way. I really wanted to watch the Bulls this year, but now, I just can’t. I just will watch Monday Night Football games that have no rhyme or reason to them. Like the Giants playing the Redskins, actually I think the Redskins weren’t playing. Jason Campbell really sucked last night.

Bottom line, the Bulls need to do something. Tonight they go to New York to play the Knicks. And then on Thursday, it’s Christmas Eve. It’s that wonderful time of year.

Wonder if someone gets sent on a permanent vacation again?

Phinishing on a Bad Note? (And a New Game for you to play at home)

2009-12-21T06:04:00.000-08:00

They tried. They almost succeeded, but then there’s pick number three, a bogus call by a ref, and then a kicker who knows how to knock it down puts it through the uprights and boom the Dolphins season over, just like that.

I am sure many Dolphin fans would argue with you that its not. Two more games remain at home against Houston and Pittsburgh. The Dolphins would have to win both of them, but need teams to help them out. Before we get to that, let’s take a look at yesterday.

First play out of the gate; a miraculous interception by Vontae Davis ran back for 26 yards. This should have been converted into a touchdown, but the struggling offense settled for a field goal. This happened two more times, while Vince Young nailed receivers Justin Gage and Nate Washington for TDs. One thing the Dolphins need to learn how to do is close. Field goals don’t win games, they let you tread water. Also, someone needs to remind the team that there’s four quarters in a game. Not three, not one, FOUR! We saw them play for 3 against Indy, 2 against New Orleans, 1 against Tennessee. In order to win a football game, you must play four quarters. This happens way too much this year.

Furthermore, last year, the Phins had the least amount of penalties in the AFC and quite possibly the league. This year they have committed 71. The discipline may have been lost somewhere. The penalties and the turnovers lost them this game. If you want to flame Chad Henne, go ahead, but remember this guy’s young and has 11 games experience in the NFL. Sure, that OT pass sucked big time. Yet, this same QB helped close the gap in the 4th. This same QB has come up with some spectacular drives this year. This QB may be greatness in the making, at least we hope so. Ricky Williams needs to learn how to hold a football again. Congrats on making over 1,000 yards this year, but learn how to hold a ball. 4 fumbles in 2 games, absolutely unacceptable. You’re still my guy, Ricky. Love what you have done this season!

Then there’s the defense. Note to Gibril Wilson, go back to college. Learn how to tackle, learn how to cover, in fact just learn how to play football again, because apparently something went wrong. Jason Taylor played well, and looked like the JT of the old days. Vontae Davis, keep up the hard work. Vince Young had lots of time to throw in the first half, and he took advantage. Maybe the Phins were too worried about Chris Johnson, and focused on him more than Young. I heard about Channing Crowder crying about how it’s harder to beat 17 Titans over 11 because of officiating. When you make plays, and figure out a way to dominate a game, bad calls by refs don’t always matter. The Dolphins didn’t find a way to do that this time. You can bitch about officials all you want, but at the end of the day 6 penalties and 4 turnovers don’t win you the game.

So here we stand at 7-7 tied with 5 other teams. There are two games left, and we play two of these in Miami. We need God to be on our sideline to get into the playoffs. Denver losing helped a little bit, but we need more teams to lose. My guy Matty from The Phinsider has all the playoff scenarios here. Its unfortunate that the Phins could have avoided all of this with a win against Buffalo and finding a way to close out Tennessee. Sure the penalty against Cam swung the hammer the Titans way, but the poor play before the 4th is what really gave it to the music city mofos.

Do I hope the Phins can do it? I’m kind of split. If we don’t, we get a higher draft pick. If we do, we shut up lots of naysayers like Deion Sanders. As some of you know, I have turned a lot of hatred towards him the way he popped the Dolphins balloon on NFL Total Access. If you don’t know the story, the scenario had balloons with the logos of the different playoff contenders, and the ones who the four morons hosting the show had surviving and making it in, the balloons would be moved to the side, the ones who didn’t would be popped. Neon Deion ran right up to the Phins balloon, popped it, and didn’t even say why. It’s just the dismissive and arrogant way he did it that pissed me off. Many people haven’t given the Phins a chance this year due to their schedule. Yet, if you told me that this team would be contending for a Wildcard or even division title after beginning the season at 0-3 with the tough road ahead of them, I would tell you to put down the crack pipe.

Back to Deion. In order to forget the events of this past weekend, I have invented a game called “Pee on Deion.” In order to play, just print out the picture below, put it on the ground somewhere, preferably the grass or, maybe in the snow if you’re from Chicago like me, unzip your pants, and just well, start going. You get 5 points for the eyes, nose, or mouth. Anything else is worth a point. Do not pick up the picture afterwards. It can get gross, even if it’s your own urine. I used this picture because only idiots have this big ass smile when they get arrested for stupid shit like “trespassing.” He did get arrested in Florida, which might explain the hatred towards our favorite team. Why don’t you go hate on the Bucs, Deion? Perhaps they can ram a cannonball up your ass.

That’s all I have. Let’s keep things in perspective. Our team keeps getting better, and they should be much better next year. If they make it in, good for them. If not, they will next year. Perhaps, more pieces will be on the way to make our Miami Dolphins an elite team.

M

SATURDAY SPECIAL: SOS (Seven on Saturday)

2009-12-19T04:46:00.000-08:00

It’s Saturday. I’m stuck at work so I decided I would bust another column out for you. I guess we’ll call today seven for Saturday. Here we go.

1-The good news, Tiger Woods has been named the AP Golfer of the Year, along with Sportsman of the decade. The bad news, Tag Heuer, the watch company has decided they would be better served without the loose golfer as their spokesperson. The best new for Tiger of all, no one has come forward with his son/daughter yet.

2-So Cub fans, your bad case of cancer has been put down? Milton Bradley has been traded to the Seattle Mariners for Carlos Silva and his $25 million contract. Sure, you took on more money, but Seattle gave you a $9 million credit. Congrats. This should make you guys win the World Series this year. In fact, Cub fans, the ceiling has been raised to the heavens for you guys for the next few years. Don’t kid yourselves people. You may have gotten rid of a symptom. But the real disease lies in the north side of Chicago. GO WHITE SOX!!!!

3-Put a microphone in Bobby Knight’s face and what do you have? Another great quote…

“We've gotten into this situation where integrity is really lacking and that's why I'm glad I'm not coaching. You see we've got a coach at Kentucky who put two schools on probation and he's still coaching. I really don't understand that."

Some of us don’t either Bobby. Some of us don’t either.

4-The battle for perfection continues tonight on NFL network. We saw the game on Thursday when Indy pulled another victory out of their ass, or Jacksonville’s QB David Garrad gave them the game with his two bad passes, one of which got picked. Tonight it’s New Orleans defending their streak against the streaky Dallas Cowboys. Not such a big game for New Orleans as their plans for the post season wrapped up, other than the whole undefeated thing, but Dallas hangs on by a thin thread. Tony Romo fights to get his December record back to 500, and his team into the postseason. Medics will be standing by to do the Heimlich maneuver on Romo, just in case he chokes again. Yet, my young boy, I have some bad news. The Palace in Dallas, Jerry Jones, or not even the lovely Jessica Simpson can save you. You and December need to stop dating. In fact, Jones should sign a new December QB for the Cowboys. You can go out and golf for that month, while someone else can play in December. Just my opinion folks.

5-Chad Johnson gave an emotional speech in regards to his team mate and friend Chris Henry who just died in an accident this past week. I refuse to call him Ochocinco btw. Any hoot, Johnson said he wants to wear Henry’s jersey and does not care about the repercussions. A message to Roger Goddell let him wear the damn jersey. No matter what many of us think of Henry, number 85 wants to honor his friend in his own way to help get closure in the matter. Just let it go. I think for one game, it should be no big deal. Otherwise, he will do some kind of ridiculous stunt like dress up like Zeus, or pick a fight with Merriman. Let him wear the jersey!!!!!

6-The Bears game, and I use that term loosely got rescheduled to 3:15pm for tomorrow. Let’s be real here folks, this will not be a game. It will be a merciless annihilation by Ray Lewis and his gang from Baltimore. No Lovie, your super positive energy will not save the team. Bear weather will not shield them from that D-Line crushing the fossils you call an offensive line. And Mr. Cutler, Ed Reed will be your best friend as he intercepts you all day, twice on Sunday. Yeah, that’s right. Two interceptions at least on Sunday. One being a pick six. Mark it down

7-And finally, Vince Young. We’re ready for you. Chris Johnson, get ready to run into a J-Peezy JT sandwich. The Dolphins be coming into your house, and they need to go to the bathroom. So they might as well shit all over your house. We’ll see who win that race CJ between you and Ginn. My honest opinion, I am very nervous about this game. Mission 3W!!!! GO DOLPHINS!!!!

Thanks for reading and have a good weekend. Perhaps I should start doing this every Saturday. I’ll think about it. You let me know. 

M